The Real Me, page 19
My heart broke for Vanessa in that moment. I didn’t hear my mom’s response because I heard Jayden coming from upstairs so I moved away. Before I did though, I took a chance and peeked in to look at Vanessa. I saw a tear roll down her face and I watched as my mom moved toward her to embrace her.
I told Jayden that I had to get Vanessa home then head back to work so I needed to go.
He smiled at me.
“Okay, Daddy. Will you stop to see me in the morning before work tomorrow?”
I shook my head. “Unfortunately, buddy, I can’t. I have an early meeting tomorrow and after having a late dinner tonight, I’m afraid I’m going to need to get into the office extra early. I am planning on leaving work early tomorrow though. I’m hoping we can do something fun.”
Jayden jumped up and smiled, “Yes. What will we do? I know. We can go to the park. You can bring Vanessa. She’ll need to be cheered up since she’s hurt.”
I shook my head at him. “Buddy, I don’t think Vanessa is going to want to go to the park with us. Besides, don’t you want to hang out with me?”
He grinned. “I love you, Daddy. I always like to be with you, but I like Vanessa too. She seemed sad today. I’m going to go ask her to go to the park with us tomorrow.”
With that, he was gone.
I entered the kitchen, and I heard Jayden.
“Vanessa, why are you crying?”
When I saw her face, I could see that there was more than just the one tear I witnessed.
Vanessa smiled at him, “Oh it’s nothing, just some allergies.”
Jayden seemed appeased with that and said, “Since Daddy is working late tonight and has to be at work early tomorrow, he said we can go to the park tomorrow. Will you come with us?”
Vanessa looked up at me and I shrugged.
She smiled at Jayden. “Don’t you want to spend that time with your daddy?”
He smiled, “Yes. But I will. You being there just makes it even better.”
She laughed then said, “How can I resist? Okay, I’ll go.”
Jayden jumped up and down then smiled at me. She bent down to be on his level and kneeled on the floor. “Thank you for thinking of me, Jayden. That’s very sweet of you.”
She smiled at him then said holding up her wrist, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to do much, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”
He giggled then threw his arms around her and she wrapped her arms around him. When Jayden pulled back to move away, I saw him pause then kiss her cheek.
Just like that Jayden was gone and Vanessa was still on her knees looking a little dazed. I moved over to her and smiled down offering her my hand to help her up.
“He’s definitely hard to say no to, but Vanessa if you don’t want to go tomorrow it’s okay.”
As she stood up, she smiled at me.
“No, I’m okay. I want to go.”
I looked over at my mom and she just grinned at me.
“Well, it looks like I’ll have the afternoon free tomorrow. Whatever will I do?”
Mom laughed as she followed the path Jayden just disappeared in and I stood still holding Vanessa’s hand in mine. God, I wanted to know what my mom said to her.
My place was only a few minutes from my mom’s so I swung in to grab some extra clothes to take to the office tonight. I wanted a fresh shirt and tie for dinner tonight and I was hopeful that maybe I could get Vanessa to invite me over tonight for a little dessert. I know I’m an ass, but shit, I wanted her so bad. You can’t blame a guy for trying.
I pulled up to my house and Vanessa looked at me saying, “Did you forget where I live?”
I laughed, “No. This is my house. I needed to stop to grab a few things for my meeting tonight.”
I got out of the car and moved to open the door for her.
I opened the front door and moved around picking up random folders I had on the dining room table. I put them in a pile to take with me then I walked into my bedroom. It is a ranch home, all one level. I heard Vanessa follow me and she stopped in the doorway. I felt her eyes on me the whole time and it was making me crazy. I opened my closet door and took out an extra suit and two extra shirts with a matching tie. I grabbed my shaving case from the adjoining bathroom and I tucked my toothbrush inside. When I came out of the bathroom I froze. Vanessa was sitting on my bed looking out the window.
“It smells like you in here.”
I put the case I was holding on the dresser but stayed where I was.
“How’s that?”
She turned and looked in my eyes.
“All man with a hint of spice. It’s a smell that I dream about since the first time I got close enough to smell you. I’ve memorized it so that I’ll never forget it.”
I stayed where I was and waited for her to say something else. Anything else. I was terrified to move, to break whatever thoughts were running through her mind. She held my eyes and I waited.
“The first time I saw you at Lacie and Jax’s wedding, you were so damn sexy. I knew you were trouble, so I tried to stay as far away from you as possible. As luck would have it though, you approached me. Luckily, I had to leave for work so I was able to just go. Then at the christening. God, it was like you just had to be more handsome and sexy than before and I didn’t know how to get away from you. So I tried to make you want to go away, by being me. But you seemed to like me being snarky and bitchy with you.”
Vanessa looked away.
“Why, Trevor? Why won’t you just move on? Just walk away from me and forget about me.”
I moved toward her and knelt on the floor in front of her. I put my hand around her neck and pulled her head against mine.
“Why do you want me to move on?”
Vanessa didn’t answer me so I continued.
“The first time I saw you at their wedding I felt like someone punched me in the gut. You were so beautiful and you took my breath away. When you blew me off, I figured I’d see you again. At the christening, I wanted to spend time with you but you kept pushing me away, again I figured I’d see you again. Then at the nursing home, the day that Gail passed, I knew I needed to take any chance I could to spend time with you. I needed to know who you were.”
Vanessa pulled back from me and I could see tears in her eyes.
“Why Trevor? Why did you need to know me? No one ever has needed to know me. No one has ever wanted to know me or cared what I thought or needed. Why?”
I looked into her eyes and kept my hand on the back of her neck.
“Because you are beautiful. Because I wanted to know what was under all that snark. Plus, you were different. You didn’t just seem to fall all over yourself for me. I liked the challenge, the chase. I wanted to know who this woman was that could resist my charm.”
I smiled at her and she chuckled.
“Vanessa, you have to see how amazing you are. God, there is nothing I want more than more time with you. The other night with you was not enough. I want more. Yesterday at the baseball game was not enough, I want more.”
Vanessa shook her head at me. “What if I don’t have more to give?”
I pulled her closer to me and I hovered just above her lips as I whispered, “I’ll take all that you’re willing to give me, then I’ll take some more. There’s always more Vanessa.”
Then I pressed my lips to hers and she pulled me to her. She slid her legs apart so I could settle between them and I heard her whimper against my mouth. Shit, what this woman did to me. I pulled back and she said in a whisper, “Don’t stop. Kiss me again.”
God this woman. I pushed myself up and I lifted her further onto my bed. I moved on top of her and found her lips again. Her scrubs were a thin barrier to our bodies, but still it was too much. I needed her and I felt how much she needed me. Vanessa pressed her hips up to meet me and I was so damn hard for her.
I pulled back, she said, “Please Trevor. I need this. I need you.”
I couldn’t stop myself in that moment. I needed her. I moved off her and pulled her scrubs and panties off. I undid my pants and slid them down my hips. There was no time for removing all our clothes as I moved over her and slid inside of her. God she felt so damn good. I wanted so much from her. I slammed inside of her and she moaned my name. Her legs came around my hips and she pulled me as hard as she could to hold me inside of her. I couldn’t stop moving. I needed her.
“I can’t stop, Vanessa. God, I hope you are ready for this because I can’t stop.”
Vanessa gasped my name then said, “Don’t stop. Fuck me, Trevor. Don’t stop.”
I was done. Her words brought out the animal in me and I pounded her relentlessly. Harder and harder and the bed was banging so hard against the wall that I was sure there would be a hole in it until we were done.
Vanessa’s whimpers and cries for more were driving me insane. I was so close to the edge and when she screamed out, “Yes, Trevor. There. Harder.”
I nearly lost it. When her orgasm hit her, she screamed my name and squeezed me deep inside of her. I could barely move inside of her she was clenching down so hard on me. I pulled back and managed one more hard thrust inside of her until I burst.
“Oh shit.”
I bucked my hips and moved a few more times inside of her as she whimpered. I could feel here still pulsing around me and I loved the feel of her wrapped all around me. I was done for this woman. She had me and I didn’t know if she knew how much I wanted her. I collapsed on her and rolled her to her side with me.
We both lay there for a few minutes until we could catch our breath.
“Sweetheart, you okay?”
I tried to move to look at her and she held me burrowing her head in my shirt. I felt the wetness and then I struggled to pull her away.
“Vanessa, what’s wrong. Are you okay? Why are you crying?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes and said, “I’m not crying. I don’t cry.”
I managed to tip her head to look at me.
“You are crying.”
I wiped her tears and waited.
“Shit Trevor, you broke me.”
I looked into her eyes and smiled. “Good. Stop running from me.”
She tried to move away from me, but I held her close.
“I mean it Vanessa. I want it all. I want the tears, I want the snark and I want this. A hell of a lot more of this.”
She smiled at me through her tears.
“Eventually Vanessa, you need to let me in. I’m not going anywhere. But if you ever shut your phone off and blow me off like that again, I swear I am going to paddle your ass and then I’ll tie you to the bed and fuck you until you relent and promise to never do it again.”
She grinned at me, “Maybe I’ll need to try shutting my phone off again, because that all sure as hell sounds like fun.”
I growled at her, “Woman. Stop it. I have to go back to work and damn if you aren’t making me hard again.”
Vanessa laughed at me then moved to straddle my body.
“Too bad you have a dinner meeting and an early meeting tomorrow morning. I could try and ignore a few calls or texts today.”
She slid me into her and started riding me hard and pressing me deep within her. I growled.
“Don’t even try it. Besides, I’ll be at your house as soon as that meeting is over and I don’t plan on getting much sleep before my meeting tomorrow morning, so you had better answer your damn door tonight.”
She threw her head back and laughed as she rode me.
I drove her to her house and walked her to the door. I kissed her hard then left before I took another detour into her bedroom. Shit, the woman nearly killed me in mine. When she climbed on top of me and rode me hard, shit. My freaking heart was pounding in my chest and she did this amazing thing with her hips and her inner muscles, it made me hard thinking about it. Fuck when she did that I lost it. She moaned and I felt her come undone and I slammed up into her and lost it. I think my whole body went numb with the force of my orgasm inside of her. I swear I could not feel my body and I went temporarily blind I shit you not. She just destroyed me this afternoon, but oh yeah I loved every second of it.
I got back to the office, albeit much later than anticipated and my secretary smirked at me.
“Did you have a good,” she paused, looked at her watch and said, “breakfast and lunch?”
I laughed at her, “Smart ass. Yes, it was good.”
She smiled then followed me into my office.
“Lacie wants you to call her and tell her how her friend was. I mean is. You didn’t hurt her after she had already been hurt did you?”
I chuckled, “Out Rae! Don’t you have work to do?”
She laughed as she left the room.
“I’ll go grab you a sandwich since I’m sure you had no time for food. But seriously, call Lacie.”
As Rae closed my door, I picked up the phone.
“She’s fine, Lacie. I assure you, she’s okay. Call her. She’s home. No I don’t think she is mad that I went to get her. We worked things out. At least I think we did. I don’t know Lacie, you’ll have to ask her. But my answer is yes.”
Chapter 23
Vanessa
My phone rang and I saw it was Lacie. I picked it up. Her first question was are you okay? After I assured her I was fine she started the hard questions.
“So what’s going on with you and Trevor?”
I smiled to myself. “Nothing. Why?”
Lacie started laughing. “Seriously? You’re not going to tell me a thing?”
I just shook my head. “What is it exactly that you want to know?”
Lacie asked, “Are you two a couple now?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said, “No.”
I could tell Lacie was grinning as she said, “Oh really? That’s not what Trevor said.”
Wait. What? First of all, what did Trevor say to her and second, she was talking to Trevor about me? What the hell?
“Spill Lacie!”
She started laughing, “Well, I think you two need to get your stories straight. I talked to him just before I called you. He assured me you were okay and not mad at me for him coming in my place.”
I cut her off, “That’s debatable.”
Lacie stopped for a second then said, “Really, you’re going to be mad at me? Come on. From the way Trevor sounded, I think it did you guys some good.”
Again? She talked to Trevor about us. I need to know what was said.
“Continue Lacie. I want to know what you and Trevor talked about.”
Lacie told me all about her conversation with Trevor and ended with telling me that she asked Trevor if we were a couple and he said, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her, but my answer is yes.”
Shit! I don’t believe it. Trevor wants to be a couple. Like a committed couple. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I don’t think I can handle this.
“Lacie, I…”
Lacie knew me and knew I was ready to lose it.
“Just breathe, Vanessa. It’s not marriage. It’s dating. Dating only one another and that you are going to do things together. Relax. I’m excited. This is a big step for you. I don’t think you’ve ever dated anyone the whole time I’ve known you.”
I found my voice again and said, “Because I don’t date, Lacie. This is not me. Especially with someone who has a kid.”
Lacie fired back, “What’s wrong with having a kid? Trevor is a great father. He’s not asking you to raise Jayden for him. He’s wanting you to be a part of their lives.”
I yelled into the phone. “That is exactly the problem. Being a part of their lives. For how long? I mean, I don’t want Jayden to get attached to me and Trevor, I mean, I can’t do this Lacie. Who am I kidding? I need to stop seeing him.”
Lacie laughed. “So you admit you are seeing him.”
Shit! She got me.
I sat for a few minutes and tried to catch my breath.
“Lacie, help.”
She hung up the phone and assured me she would be right over. I paced my house waiting for her to arrive and questioned myself. Dating? Me? A kid? What have I gotten myself into? We had sex for crying out loud. Great sex, but it was just sex. I seriously can’t do this. I don’t do this. I don’t know how to deal with kids, a family, or a man for that matter. I mean, well, yes I know what to do with a man but in a relationship? No way, that is not me. I’ll screw this up. Wait? Do I want to do this? Why do I care if I screw it up? Shit! I like Jayden and I don’t want to hurt him and Trevor. Well I like him a lot more than I really want to admit. How did this happen?
Lacie got there, and I opened the door for her to come in. She came in and went right to the kitchen to get a drink. It was my homemade tea that was her weakness. She loved it and always had to have a glass when she was at my house. She poured herself a glass then smiled after she took a big sip, “God, that is so good.”
I shook my head at her. “I tell you every time, I’ll tell you how to make it, it’s easy.”
She waved me off, “Nope. I enjoy that you make it and I can come here to get it. It’s like my crack.”
I laughed at her and she smiled, “So you and Trevor. I want to know more. Talk to me.” I poured myself some tea as well before I leaned on the counter in my kitchen.
Lacie watched me and it was unnerving. It was as if she could read my mind.
“You like Trevor don’t you?” Lacie asked.
I nodded my head, “I do. But Lacie I’m scared. I have never really dated anyone. I don’t get attached. I have sex and satisfy what I need then I move on. No harm, no foul. This is not something I do.”
Lacie tapped her fingers on the counter, “How do you know this isn’t something you do? I mean, you’ve never tried before. This could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you and Trevor could be your happily ever after like Jax is for me?”
