Bound By Temptation, page 6
She blinked up at me with an embarrassed smile. “Sorry. I’m wasting time. We were supposed to have coffee and not stand on the sidewalk all day.”
“This is about you. If you’d rather stay here and enjoy the sun, we can do that too. I don’t mind.” Not one fucking bit. Watching Lily was something I could do all day.
She shook her head. Her blonde hair settled in soft waves on her shoulders and I had to stop myself from reaching out and letting a strand of it glide through my fingers. For some reason I didn’t know, I held out my arm for her. She hooked her arm through mine without hesitation, a grin twisting her lips as she peered up at me. Damn it. I led her down the street. “Do you know a nice café? I’ve been in Chicago plenty of times in the last few years but I’m not that familiar with the culinary scene.”
“Just a ten minute walk away is a small café with fantastic coffee and delicious cupcakes. We could go there. I usually only order everything to-go but we could sit down, if you want?” There were many things I wanted, most of them involved Lily naked in my bed.
“That sounds good. Lead the way.”
“You know what I like about you? You are so easy-going and relaxed. You seem like the guy next door. Nice and kind.”
“Lily, I’m a Made Man. Don’t make me into a hero that I’m not. I’m not kind or nice.”
“You are to me,” she said lightly. Her blue eyes were far too trusting. She didn’t know the things I’d been thinking about her, most of them hadn’t been nice. I wanted to do so many dirty things to her, she wouldn’t even understand half of them, and that was why I needed to keep my distance. Maybe she looked grown-up, but she was still too young, too innocent.
I only smiled. “I’m trying.”
“You’re doing good,” she said teasingly. The sadness and hopelessness were gone from her face for the moment, and that was all the encouragement I needed.
Liliana
Romero smirked. “Thanks.” I could have kissed him then. He looked so handsome and sexy.
“You’re very welcome,” I said. We strolled down the street toward the small café that looked like it belonged in a cobblestone street in Paris and not in Chicago. It was strange walking with a man who wasn’t twice my age like my father’s bodyguards. Only when we stopped at the counter did Romero release my arm, but until then we’d walked close like lovers. How would it feel if it were the truth? If he wasn’t just trying to distract me from my sick mother, if we were really a couple?
“Everything okay?” Romero asked in a low voice.
I had been staring. I quickly turned my attention to the girl behind the counter who was waiting for our order. “A cappuccino and a Red Velvet Cupcake,” I said distractedly. It was my standard order and my mind was too frazzled to check the blackboard for the daily specials.
“The same for me,” Romero said and took his wallet out to pay for us both.
“You didn’t have to pay for me,” I whispered when we walked toward a free table near the window.
Romero raised one dark eyebrow. “A woman never pays when she’s with me.”
“Oh?” I said curiously. Romero looked like he already regretted his comment but it was too late. He’d piqued my curiosity. “How many girlfriends have you had?”
It was a very personal question.
Romero chuckled. “That’s not something I’m going to tell you.”
“That means many,” I said with a laugh. The server brought our order, giving Romero time to compose himself. The moment she was out of earshot I said, “I know how things are with our men. You have a lot of women.”
“So you know all of us?” Romero asked. He leaned back in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world.
I took a sip from my cappuccino. “Women talk and from what I hear most Made Men don’t say no to the whorehouses of the Outfit. For most of them it’s some kind of hobby to have as many women as possible.”
“Many men do, but not all of them.”
“So you are the exception?” I asked doubtfully. I wanted it to be true, but I was realistic.
Romero took a bite from his cupcake, obviously considering what to tell me. “I’ve had wild days when I was younger, eighteen or nineteen maybe.”
“And now? Do you have a girlfriend? A fiancée?” I’d always put the thought out of my mind but the way Romero had talked it was a valid option. I sipped at my coffee, glad for the feel of the cup in my hands. It gave me something to focus on.
Romero shook his head with an unreadable look on his face. “No, I’ve had girlfriends in the last few years but it’s difficult to have a steady relationship if work always comes first. I’m a soldier. The Famiglia will always be my top priority. Most women can’t bear it.”
“Most women don’t get asked if they want this life or not. What about an arranged marriage?”
“I don’t like the idea of someone telling me who I should marry.”
“So your family never tried to set you up with someone?”
Romero grinned. I could have jumped over the table and crawled onto his lap. “Of course they have. We’re Italian, it’s in our bloodstream to meddle with our children’s lives.”
“But you never liked any of the girls they suggested?”
“I liked some of them well enough but either they weren’t interested in me or I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life with them.”
“And nobody ever tried to force you into marriage?”
“How would they force me?”
I nodded. Yes, how? He was a Made Man, not a stupid girl. “You’re right. You can make your own decisions.”
Romero set down his cup. “Luca could ask me to marry for political reasons. I probably wouldn’t refuse him.”
“But he wouldn’t do that,” I said.
“Maybe you’ll get to choose for yourself as well. You might meet the perfect guy soon and he might be worthy in your father’s eyes.”
The perfect guy sat in front of me. It stung that Romero suggested I’d find someone else. Didn’t he realize I had feelings for him? I didn’t want to find some guy my father would approve of. I wanted the man in front of me.
After that, we talked about random things, nothing of importance, and far too soon we had to make our way back to my home. This time we didn’t link arms. I tried not to be disappointed, but it was hard. When we stepped into the entrance hall of the house, I could feel the weight of the lingering sadness return to my shoulders.
Romero lightly touched my arm. My eyes traced his strong jaw with the hint of dark stubble, his worried browns eyes, his prominent cheekbones. And then I did what I’d promised myself not to do again but right in this moment, in this cold, hopeless house he was the light and I was the moth. I pushed to my toes and kissed him. The touch was the briefest contact, hardly there but it made me long for more. Romero grasped my arms and pushed me away. “Liliana, don’t.”
I untangled myself from his hold and left without another word. Mother had said I should take risks for my happiness, and I was doing just that.
Romero
I stormed into the kitchen. I needed another coffee. The door smashed shut behind me with too much force. I wanted to tear something into tiny pieces. My lips still tingled from that ridiculous kiss. You couldn’t even really call it that. It had been over too quick. Because I’d acted like the dutiful soldier I was supposed to be. Fuck it.
I made myself a coffee and emptied it in one gulp, then put the cup down with a loud clang.
The door to the kitchen swung open and Luca leaned in the doorway with a questioning look on his face. “You realize this isn’t your home, right? I don’t think Scuderi appreciates you destroying his expensive marble counter.” The corners of his mouth twitched in an almost smile.
I relaxed against the kitchen island. “I don’t think Scuderi even knows where his kitchen is. Where is he anyway? It’s suspiciously quiet in the house. I thought he and Gianna would never stop fighting.”
Luca’s expression darkened. “They would still be at it, but Scuderi left for a meeting, which I’ll have to do soon as well. Dante and I are going to discuss the Russians tonight at some Italian restaurant he loves.”
“I assume I’ll stay here to keep an eye on the women,” I said tightly. The idea of being around Lily all evening worried me.
Luca came up to me. “Do I have to worry what went on between you and Liliana while you were gone for coffee? Do I even want to know?”
I glared. “Nothing happened, Luca. You know me, I’m a good soldier.”
“You are also a guy with a dick and Liliana is a gorgeous girl who’s been flirting with you for years. Sometimes that can lead to unfortunate accidents.”
I released a long breath.
“Fuck,” Luca muttered. “I was joking. Don’t tell me there’s really something been going on.”
“Liliana kissed me but you could hardly call it that. Our lips barely touched and I pushed her away, so you have nothing to worry about.”
“Oh, but I have to worry considering the look of regret on your face when you said that your lips barely touched. You want her.”
“Yes, I want her,” I muttered, starting to get annoyed by his interrogation. Luca used to be the guy who couldn’t keep it in his pants and now he was acting all high and mighty. “But I’m not going to act on it. I can control myself. I’d never do anything to hurt the Famiglia.”
Luca clapped my shoulder. “I know that. And if you’re ever at risk of following your dick instead of your brain, just remember that Liliana is going through a lot. She’s probably only looking for a distraction. She’s vulnerable and young. I know you won’t allow her to ruin her life.”
That was a guilt trip if I’d ever seen one. I nodded, because the words waiting on the tip of my tongue were too harsh for my Capo.
Aria walked into the kitchen in that moment, but she stopped when she saw us. “Am I interrupting anything?” She glanced between Luca and me. “I thought we should start dinner. Father gave our maid the day off because he doesn’t want anyone in the house right now. That means we have to cook.”
“Let’s order pizza,” Luca said. He walked toward his wife and pulled her against him before kissing the top of her head. In the first few years of working for Luca, I’d have bet everything that he wasn’t capable of that kind of affection.
“Did your conversation have something to do with Lily?” Aria asked casually as she rifled through several flyers from pizza delivery services.
I didn’t say anything, and Luca shrugged. “Why do you ask?” he said.
Aria shook her head. “I’m not blind. Lily has been acting odd ever since she returned from her walk with Romero.” She fixed me with a warning stare. “I don’t want her alone with you.”
Luca’s eyebrows shot up. I knew I had to look pretty shocked too.
“Don’t give me that look. You know I like you Romero, but Lily has been going through so much recently and when it comes to you her brain stops working. I don’t want to have to worry about her.”
“So now you’re protecting her virtue?” I asked sarcastically.
“Hey,” Luca said sharply. “Don’t take that tone with her.”
Aria shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m not protecting her virtue. I just don’t want her to get hurt. You have younger sisters, don’t you want to keep them safe?”
“I do,” I said. “And I would never do anything that’ll hurt Lily. But I respect your wish. I won’t be alone with Lily from now on.” With a curt nod in Luca’s direction, I headed out of the kitchen. Aria’s words didn’t sit well with me. Luca had trusted me with her, though he was a possessive bastard, but Aria didn’t trust me with her sister. Of course, truth was I’d never been remotely interested in Aria. I wasn’t blind. She was beautiful, and definitely sexy, but I’d never fantasized about her, and not just because I knew Luca would cut my dick off if I made a move. Lily was a different matter. I’d imagined her naked body beneath me more than once and when I was close to her I wanted to press her against the wall and have my fucking way with her. That was a major problem. Maybe it was for the best that Aria’s orders were now another barrier between Lily and me.
CHAPTER FIVE
Liliana
Someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes but at first everything was blurry.
“Lily, get up. I think Mom’s going to die,” Aria said in a panicky voice. I jerked upright, my head spinning.
Aria was already on her way out of my room, probably to wake the others. One of us had always sat at Mother’s bed to make sure she was never alone. Tonight it had been Aria’s turn. I untangled myself from my blankets, slipped out of bed and hurried toward the bedroom at the end of the corridor. The smell of antiseptic and disinfectant greeted me even before I entered but my nose had grown used to the biting stench by now. Gianna was already inside, perched on the edge of the bed. Mother’s eyes were closed and for a moment I was sure I was too late and she’d already died. Then I saw the slow rise and fall of her chest. I approached the bed hesitantly. Gianna barely glanced my way. She was glowering at her lap. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders from behind and pressed our cheeks together.
“I hate this,” Gianna whispered.
“Where’s the nurse?”
“She left so we could say goodbye in peace. She gave Mother another dose of morphine so she could go without pain.”
Aria and Fabi came into the room. Fabi was wearing his brave face, and damn it, he looked so grown up. He was taller than Aria already. Luca stood in the corridor but didn’t come in, instead he closed the door, giving us privacy.
Mother’s breathing was low, barely noticeable. Her eyes flickered back and forth under her lids as if she was watching a movie in her head. It wouldn’t be much longer. Fabi grabbed the foot of the bed, his knuckles turning white. There were tears in his eyes but his face was like stone. I knew that look, that posture;
I turned away from him. Aria walked up to us. “How is she?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that question.
Gianna glared. “Where’s Father? He should be here!” She’d spoken quietly but Aria and I still chanced a worried glance toward Mother. She didn’t need to get upset in the last moments of her life. My stomach constricted painfully and for a second I was sure I’d have to rush to the bathroom to throw up. Death was part of our life, especially when you grew up in our world. I’d attended countless funerals in the last few years but almost all of them had been from people I’d barely known.
“I don’t know,” Aria admitted. “I knocked at his door and even walked in but it didn’t look like he’d slept in his bed at all.”
Gianna and I exchanged a look. Was he really with one of his whores tonight? Mother had been feeling very weak yesterday so it didn’t come as a surprise that tonight could be the night. He should have stayed home to be there for her.
“Do you know where he is? You’ve been acting like his best buddy the last few days,” Gianna muttered with a scowl in Fabi’s direction.
He stiffened. “He doesn’t tell me where he goes. And I’m not his best buddy, but as his only son I have responsibilities.”
Gianna stood, and I had no choice but to let her go. “Oh my god, what kind of bullshit is that. I can’t believe it,” she hissed.
“Gianna,” Aria said in warning. “It’s enough. Not here, not right now.”
“It doesn’t matter that Father’s not here,” I said firmly. “We are here for her. We are the most important people in her life, not him.”
That was the last time we mentioned Father that night. Hours passed with Mother’s state staying the same, and occasionally my eyes fell shut, but then her breathing changed.
I sat up in my chair and took her hand. “Mom?” I asked.
Aria was holding her other hand. Gianna didn’t move from her spot in the armchair in the corner. Her legs were pressed up against her chest, her chin resting on her knees. Fabi had fallen asleep with his cheek on the wooden foot of the bed. I reached out and nudged him. He jerked up in his chair.
Mother’s eyelids fluttered like she was going to open them. I held my breath, hoping she’d look at us once more, maybe even say something but then her breathing slowed even more.
I wasn’t sure how much longer it took. I lost any sense of time as I monitored Mother’s chest, the way it barely moved, until it stopped altogether. Fabi ran out to get the nurse, but I didn’t need her to tell me what I already knew; our mother was gone. The nurse moved around us, and then with a sad nod, she disappeared again.
I let go of Mother’s hand, stood from my chair and stepped back. Aria didn’t move, still clutching Mother’s hand. One moment Mother was there and the next she was gone. Just like that a life ended, and with it the dreams and hopes of that person. Life was so short, any moment could be your last. Mother had told me to be happy, but in our world happiness wasn’t something that came by easily.
Aria rested her head on the edge of the bed, sobbing without a sound. Fabi like me stood back. He looked like he couldn’t comprehend what had happened. Gianna walked up to Aria, for the first time in hours moving closer to the bed and put her hand on Aria’s shoulder. She didn’t even glance Mother’s way, and I got it. Gianna’s relationship with our mother had always been difficult and only gotten worse when Mother had accepted how horrible Father had treated Gianna after she’d run away. In the days since her arrival here, Gianna’s feelings had often changed from one second to the other.
After a moment, Aria stood and pressed a kiss to Mother’s forehead. To my surprise, Gianna did the same, though she quickly stepped back from the bed again. I could only stare. I knew I should kiss Mother’s forehead as well as a last goodbye, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch this lifeless corpse. That wasn’t her anymore. That was something empty and lifeless.
I staggered out of the room. My throat was cording up and my eyes were burning. I wanted to run and don’t stop but in the corridor I bumped into Romero. If he hadn’t grabbed my shoulders, I would have toppled over. I gasped for breath. Panic was slowly tightening around my body like a vice.
