The Black Effect 2, page 22
“Wow, some kind of son you are.”
My eyes landed on Jaide, who was lounging on the couch. This was another aspect of my life that I hated. My weakness for her was so pathetic. She had fucked me over and left me like we didn’t share a bond, and now I was in her presence soaking up all the attention she was giving me.
“I wonder if you would be her precious son, if she knew what you did?” she smiled.
“Worry about your fucking self, Jaide.”
“Oh, now, I have to worry when you kinda inserted me into this. Boy, please.”
“How did I insert you in this?”
“I'm the one that allowed you to call Nadir from my phone. Plus, I'm not crazy. I knew you were going to make a deal with him to clear your name since it looked as if you had Amai’s ass robbed.”
I didn’t have a comeback, so I just stared at her, wishing I didn’t give in to her request to come talk to her.
“Listen, Canton, I get why you did it. You had to look out for you because your cousins damn sure wasn’t going to spare you. So, I definitely don’t blame you.”
“What's your plan, Jaide?” I asked, changing the subject because I no longer wanted to talk about how I had betrayed my family.
“As far as what?”
“Your marriage. You know what the hell I'm saying.”
She sighed and positioned herself on her back. Her meaty thighs were exposed giving me a sensual visual that I was secretly enjoying.
“I told you already that it’s over.”
I didn’t believe Jaide. I really felt like she was just blowing smoke up my ass because her attitude about leaving ol’ boy was too nonchalant for me.
“So, just like that? You're leaving him?”
“Yes, I'm not about to compete with those hoes. Besides, he let my ass walk out of that house and didn’t even try to come after me,” she scoffed.
“What hoes?”
“Amai and Raye. He chose Amai when I told him I didn’t want that bitch there, so fuck him. I packed some bags, thinking that Nadir would panic and see that I wasn’t playing with him. I did all that for him to tell me to leave his key. I always thought he would fight for me, but he didn’t. His mama told me that he wouldn’t choose me, and she was right. Shit, I can’t go back now. I gotta go through with leaving him or else I would feel like a fool if I went back.”
“From what I've seen, his mama ain't shit. I hope you didn’t let her put you up to all this.”
She smacked her lips while sitting up. “Oh, please, Lena always knows best. I'm sure Amai painted this terrible picture of her. She's never liked Lena, but the truth is, she has always been one hun’nid with me. You don’t know her, so don’t judge her.”
“Nah, I've seen that lady in action, and she was mean as hell. If a person spits on someone, you know they ain't shit.”
“Lena did not spit on Amai. That bitch made that shit up to justify her laying hands on Lena.”
I smacked my lips at Jaide’s persistence to think that woman was a saint.
“Don’t tell me she didn’t spit because I was there. I watched her do that nasty shit with my own two eyes.”
“You were there?” Jaide questioned.
“Yeah, I was there, so that lady is lying her ass off. She knew she was lying because why do you think she dropped the charges?”
“She told me that Ali, who is her husband, told her to drop them.”
“Nah, she dropped it because Amai had me as a witness and there was a possible video of her doing it since it was outside the hotel. Your mother-in-law is a liar, and I see you be believing everything she says. Now she got you leaving a man you really don’t want to leave.”
“I don’t want Nadir’s ass anymore.”
I twisted my lips. “Lies.”
Jaide exhaled a sharp breath. “Whatever. I don’t even care about that anymore.”
I smirked. “Yeah, I bet you don’t.”
“So… can we pick up where we left off?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not, Canton? You know you miss me like I miss you. We can get back to the way things used to be and go on about our lives.”
“Shit will probably never be the same. You know that.”
“Okay, well, maybe not back to the way things were. How about we create a new path and make a new life together?”
I cut my eyes at her. “Jaide, I don’t trust you, and I don’t love you the same. You fucked me over and this shit don’t even seem genuine. I feel like you only came to me because you found out that me and Amai were friends. Are you trying to make sure that me and her will never get together?”
She cackled before standing. “I don’t give a fuck about that fake-ass friendship you two had. That’s the shit that wasn’t genuine because you only befriended her to get back at me. I'm not stupid.”
“No, I didn’t,” I denied.
“Oh, yes you did. Out of all the people in St. Parklynn, you just became friends with Amai? I know you, Canton, and you do things with intent. Everything is a strategy when it comes to you, which is probably why you're such a good businessman. But you're also calculating, and you knew hanging out with Amai would get under my skin. Just admit that you wanted to get back at me through her.”
I would never confess to that, even though it was slightly true. My intentions with befriending Amai was never a ploy to get back at Jaide. If anything, it was to get under Nadir’s skin.
“Not true.”
“Yeah, whatever.” She sauntered over to me and sat down. “If you tell me you don’t love me at all, I’ll stop pursuing you and never speak to you again.”
“Gone, Jaide.”
She softly rubbed my ear. “I'm serious, Canton. I know you're a man with pride and you might feel like a sucka if you were to give me a second chance, but I love you. With us being apart, I know how to love you the right way now. Just give me another chance to prove myself.”
For years, I wished to hear those words. Once she left me, I had high hopes that she would run back to me and realize that she had made a huge decision. I did in fact love her, but I didn’t know if I wanted to take a gamble on her because she had proven not to be solid enough for me.
I turned to her and brushed my tongue across my lips. “I still got love for you, but I don’t trust you. You shitted on me when you left me for your husband, and you didn’t care. The way you fucked me over still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. How do I know that you won’t do it again?”
“Because I won’t, Canton,” she whispered.
I stood to place some distance between us. “I don’t wanna take a risk with your shaky ass.”
“But you know you want to,” she countered.
I grimaced in an instant. “That doesn’t fucking matter. I want to do a lot of shit that’s risky, but I don’t because I know it wouldn’t benefit me. You are one of those people. So, I'm not about to agree to get with you right now.”
Jaide had the nerve to stare at me with tears in her eyes. I found that shit to be comical since she was the one that had hurt me. Nothing about her seemed authentic anymore. She reeked of desperation, and I could smell that shit from miles away. I cursed myself for entertaining her ass for the last couple weeks. This shit between us was complicated, and I wasn’t about to be a fool and jump back into a relationship with her. I needed to think this shit out.
“I gotta go, Jaide.”
I left without giving her another glance. I was becoming too weak being around her. She was breaking me down, and I wanted to maintain what was left of my dignity. I had to stay away from Jaide, or else I would be back under her spell, giving in to whatever her heart desired.
I stood back, amazed by the people who were flocking to Amai. I had traveled to LA for the event she was booked for, and I hadn’t realized before today that she was a big fucking deal. They had her in her own section with her name spelled out in big beautiful flowers. There was a line of people waiting to either take a picture with her or even get a hug. A part of me felt foolish for not becoming fully aware of the impact Amai had amassed by being on YouTube.
“Damn, I didn’t know Amai was a fucking celebrity,” Cass joked.
I shook my head. “Hell, me either. She never really talked about it though, so I had no clue.”
Just seeing Amai in her element had me feeling irresponsible. I felt like I had missed out on so much of her during our marriage. I had never delved into her career like I should have. I did watch some of her videos but never really grasped the fact that she had made a career out of being a content creator. I watched her like a hawk as she smiled at the people, who had approached her like she was a global superstar. She looked radiant and happy, which was something I never paid attention to before.
Seeing Amai in this state, caused me to mull over the mistakes I had made with not only her but Raye and Jaide as well. Before, my main objective was to make sure we were all happy, but I think that my needs came before theirs, which made me out to be selfish. I was meeting their needs financially and physically, but I lacked to fill their desires emotionally. Ever since I stopped making us all spend time together, I noticed how much happier Raye and Amai were. There were no more routine dinners with my family or impromptu parties that we all had to attend. I made it my business to ensure that they made decisions for themselves and give them the alone time they needed with me.
“So, what's up with y'all two?” Cass asked. “Are you gon’ make it work or no?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I'm kinda following Amai’s lead on this, you know? If she wants to get back together, I wouldn’t mind it. If she wanted to remain friends, I would be okay with that too. I just want her apart of my life, so I'm willing to take whatever she gives me.”
“But I know you would prefer y’all to be together.”
“Definitely, but I won’t get my hopes up because we ended on a bad note.”
“What about Jaide?”
I shook my head because she had become someone I didn’t know. She was now back to chasing Canton and being fake as fuck. I never thought I would see the day she’d switch up on me. We were supposed to be together until the end of time because that’s what we had promised each other but shit had taken a turn for the worst.
“Man, we’re supposed to meet with the lawyers later this week. She really wants to leave, and I'm not going to stop her.”
“Damn, so it’s really over between y’all?”
I bobbed my head. “Yeah, and I'm not salty about it either. That shit wasn’t going to work with her allowing my mama to be in her ear. Plus, Jaide and Amai hate each other, and I couldn’t see them attempting to work out their differences. This shit is for the better, but I hate what it’s going to do to Zain.”
“Yeah, but he’ll be able to see her, right?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. I would never keep him from her. He just won’t be able to live with her, but we’re going to work out a schedule, so she can spend time with him, too.”
“That’s good.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket, interrupting me and Cass’ conversation. I pulled it out and noticed a text from my mother.
Mama: Nadir, I'm so sorry our relationship has gotten to the point of it being nonexistent. I recognize my faults and I apologize. I should’ve never gotten into the middle of your marriage. I didn’t mean to get inside Jaide’s head and turn her against you. I was in a bad place and I'm sorry for being that person. I miss you and my grandkids. Please call me so we can resolve our issues.
I snorted as I read over her message. I knew she would fold, especially with not being able to see the boys. I had put up this front like what Lena did wasn’t shit to me but deep down, I was hurt that she would try to disrupt my marriage. She had disrespected every aspect in my life and as painful as it was to admit this, I was relieved that I hadn’t been dealing with her antics.
I slid my phone back in my pocket and opted not to respond to my mother. I wanted to keep the relaxed vibe I was in, and I knew talking to Lena would take me out of that mood. My attention went back to Amai, who was still taking photos. I suddenly had the urge to do something for her.
I turned to Cass. “Aye, I'm about to hit up this spot. Can you make sure Amai gets back to the hotel safely?”
“Yeah, I got you.”
“Good lookin’.”
We shook hands, and I slipped out of the venue without Amai noticing.
Today was amazing. Beautycon LA didn’t owe me a thing. I got to meet so many amazing people, including my subscribers. This day had to be one of the happiest days I’d had in a while. The smile I held on my face for most of the day was a genuine one. If people were alerted of how much trauma I had endured in the recent months, they wouldn’t believe me. But none of that mattered because I felt so much love. The only thing missing after the event was Nadir. He snuck away while I was busy mingling, and I was a little bummed out about that.
“Is Nadir here?” I asked Cass as we walked inside the W Hotel.
“I don’t know,” he replied, pressing the button for the elevator. “He said he had some moves to make.”
“Oh.”
I was disappointed because I was expecting to ride this high from the event with him. Me and Cass rode up to our floor and stepped off. He walked me to my suite that was at the end of the hallway.
“A’ight, Amai. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye, Cass.”
I walked into my suite and kicked my heels off. It was dark, so I felt for the light switch and turned it on. As soon as the room became illuminated, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. My eyes scanned the room at all the flower arrangements that was strategically placed around the suite.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered.
The flowers were from Venus et Fleur, which I knew to be one of Nadir’s favorite florists. When we were married, he would always get them delivered to us when he was either on a long business trip or it was a special occasion. I reached for the card to the first one near the door and opened it.
You're still my peace…
I smiled widely, savoring his sweet words. When I glanced at the next arrangement, I noticed another card. Quickly, I pulled it out and read it.
I'm so proud of you…
I went through every arrangement and pulled out every card.
I love the woman you have become…
Excitedly, I read through all of them, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.
I will always protect you…
I'm sorry for being an asshole in the past…
Please don’t ever dye your hair…
I laughed loudly at that last one. Nadir was romantic during the appropriate times, but he had never done something so sweet and original before. Each card held a single sentence of how he felt about me, and I couldn’t contain how much joy was surging through my heart.
While I read over the messages again, I heard a knock. I got up and ran to the door. I opened it to see Nadir standing on the other side.
“You got my gifts?” he asked coolly.
“Yes. Come in.”
I allowed him to brush past me while I closed the door. I followed him into the living room where he sat on the sofa, and I opted to sit on the loveseat
“Nadir, I was bummed you left me at the event but walking into this lifted my spirits. This was so damn sweet of you. Thank you,” I gushed.
He smirked. “I left to make this happen. I wanted to do something nice for you, and I didn’t want to buy you any material shit. I figured you’d appreciate something like this, especially since you love flowers.”
My cheeks were aching because of the excessive smiling I was doing. This thing between us couldn’t be explained. If it did have an interpretation, I didn’t want to know it. I wanted to go with the flow of my feelings and at that very second, Nadir had me way past intrigued in this game of his.
“I didn’t know you were big like that,” he stated, chuckling. “I was watching the girls come up to you all geeked and shit in amazement.”
I grinned. “Yeah, I'm a big deal. Now, go back and tell your mama that this YouTube hobby is a fucking career.”
He waved his hand. “Ain't no need for that.”
The room was silent as we exchanged glances. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Well, I'm not going to hold you up,” he said, standing.
I wanted to protest and tell him that I was enjoying his company. I didn’t want him to leave, especially after blessing me with the sweetest gesture he’d ever given me.
“Okay,” I replied, disappointing myself.
I rose from the couch and followed him to the door. The words ‘don’t go’ were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t want to voice them.
Before Nadir reached for the door handle, he turned around to me. I looked up at his towering frame while feeling my heart rate drop. I was standing so close to him, drinking up his enchanting scent. I read Nadir’s eyes as his lenses zoned in on my lips. I felt his energy. He wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. This wasn’t what this trip was intended for. We weren’t supposed to be standing so close to each other that we were trading breaths. My agenda had been clear up until I entered my suite. The beautiful flowers, the kindhearted messages, and just his mere presence had me ready to risk everything I swore I wouldn’t gamble on.
His arm wrapped around my waist with his hand landing on the small of my back. Something inside me leaped, triggering my insides to brew deep within. Nadir leaned in and this time, I didn’t close my eyes. I wanted to witness where his lips would land. And when they pressed against mine, I felt like I had evaporated in his arms. I tasted him like an animal that had been deprived of its favorite meal. I was Nadir’s peace, but what he didn’t know was that he was my weakness.
I had matured, declared myself a woman and gotten to know what it was that I wanted out of life. Yet, I hadn’t found the remedy to rid myself of this man, who had a death grip on my heart. Leaving him had been one of the best decisions of my life but standing here in this moment with his tongue sliding inside my mouth was a choice I would gladly accept.
