I didn’t respond right away. I wasn’t sure if I should thank him for that or be mad that he just upped and moved my shit. Being mad would be the immature thing to do. He had helped me move from a place where I knew I wouldn’t feel safe and I was grateful for that.

  “Thanks.”

  He nodded. “I need to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

  Oh shit…

  There was still this part of me that was intimidated by Nadir. Nine times out of ten, when he asked a question, he already knew the answer. It was a must that I prepped myself with what he was getting ready to interrogate me about.

  “Were you still fucking around with Jaide’s ex?”

  My heart paused at his question. I knew he would be mad if I told him that I still was in contact with Canton. He wouldn’t like it, and he would never believe if I told him that our friendship had become platonic. There was no reason to lie to him. He probably already knew the truth anyway.

  “Yes, I was still in contact with him.”

  I watched his jaw clench as he stared at me intensely. Strangely, I felt like I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. Nadir continued to glare at me before he shook his head.

  “So, I guess you really moved on to his ass, huh?”

  I sighed. “We’re only friends, Nadir. Chill out.”

  “So, y’all became friends after he fucked you or nah?”

  “I've never had sex with him,” I defended.

  He looked away. “I don’t believe that.”

  “You know what? I don’t care.”

  Nadir eyes landed on me at lightning speed. He was shocked by my response, I could tell. I wasn’t the same woman I was, when I was with him. I wasn’t going to hide anything, and I refused to lie about the nature of me and Canton’s friendship. If Nadir didn’t believe what I was telling him, then that was his problem.

  “You should care!” he barked, causing me to jump. “You wanna know why you should give a fuck? Because I believe he had something to do with you being shot.”

  “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

  He cocked his head. “Why the fuck you think that? I told you when I caught your ass all up in his face that he was using you. You so gone off him, you can’t even see that as a possibility.”

  I considered his theory for a moment. Nadir believed that Canton was using me as this ploy to get back at him. I completely understood why he would think that, but I didn’t see that in Canton. He had been genuine with me and the only person to show up when I was in need.

  “Nadir, I see why you would say that, and I'm not totally dismissing you, but I've gotten to know him, and I don’t see him as a shady person that would do this to me.”

  He groaned loudly. “I forgot this is the guy you’ve been fucking on. He’s already inside your head. My fault.”

  “Why do you not believe that I've never been intimate with him before?”

  “Because you were about to kiss him when I caught you. You telling me that y'all didn’t pick up where you left off?”

  “Yes, I'm telling you that,” I shot. “You fucked me up so badly that I couldn’t fathom getting into a new relationship. I'm still healing from our fucked-up marriage to this very day. So, no, I never fucked or been with Canton on that level. All he’s ever been was a friend and great one, might I add. You know what? I don’t have to be here and listen to you accuse me of something I didn’t do. I'm outta here.”

  Slowly, I lifted up and pain shot through my arm and chest. Nadir watched me struggle to get out of bed in silence, and I hated him for that.

  “Okay, Amai, I called your dad─hey, what are you doing?” Raye asked, confused.

  “She's being dramatic, right now. Let her act out in peace,” Nadir responded dryly.

  “I'm leaving this fucking house. You should’ve just left me where I was because bringing me back here was a mistake!”

  “Amai, you are in no condition to leave,” Raye hissed. “Lay your ass back down before you break something else.”

  “No, hand me my shoes,” I ordered, knowing I wouldn’t be able to make it far.

  Nadir laughed. “You're just exerting all this energy for nothing. Girl, you ain't going nowhere, so do like Raye said and lay your ass back down.”

  I continued to struggle getting out the bed until Nadir got up from his seat and forced me back. His touch had done something to me that I hadn’t experienced in a while. I got instant chills as he eased me back in the bed.

  “Lay back,” he said, but in a tone much softer than before.

  Reluctantly, I eased back onto the mattress. Nadir covered me with the blanket before taking his seat again.

  “This isn't the time for you guys to get into arguments. Nadir leave her alone,” Raye scolded.

  “I didn’t do shit to her except ask her a question. I guess she didn’t like it.”

  I rolled my eyes and opted not to respond. Now I couldn’t wait to get better, so I could get away from him. This spat between us reminded me that I had made the right decision to leave his ass.

  “You wanna be a victim so bad, Nadir,” I said, in an effort to get under his skin. “But you are no victim. You're a terror, and you don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself.”

  Raye sighed. “Amai, let’s not do this. You two are divorced now, and there’s no need to bring up the past. Let’s just focus on you getting better.”

  I didn’t respond as I stared at Nadir. He was quiet while pulling on the hairs of his beard. He turned to me and leaned forward.

  “I don’t think I really apologized for putting my hands on you, but I'm sorry. That was very unlike me, and I regret doing that to you because you didn’t deserve it.”

  Once again, Nadir had shocked me with his willingness to take some accountability for his actions. During our time together, he had never humbled himself and apologized for anything that he had done. In his eyes, he was always right and if we didn’t like what he was doing, it was our fault.

  “What do you want me to say?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” He shrugged. “I just wanted you to know, I hate that I did that to you.”

  He leaned back in his seat and stared at the TV screen. Raye looked on with a grin and shook her head. I wondered what that meant but decided not to question her about it. Raye tidied up my room while me and Nadir remained quiet. I was getting sleepy again as my eyes hung low over my eyeballs. I was just about to doze off when there was a knock at the door. Seconds later, my father walked in, and I was presently surprised to see Phia right behind him.

  She looked nervous as she eyed Nadir, who was still sitting calmly, as if their presence didn’t bother him.

  “Amai, I'm so sorry this happened to you,” Nate said. “I would’ve come sooner if I’d known.”

  “I'm fine… just in pain,” I assured him.

  “Amai,” my mother spoke. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, still finding it hard to even look at her. My parents had disappointed the hell out of me, but Phia had lost my respect by cheating on my dad.

  “Do you know who may have done this to you?” Nate quizzed.

  “I don’t know. Nadir is taking care of that.”

  Phia snorted. “What about the police? Did you notify the authorities?” she questioned annoyingly.

  “Didn’t you just hear her say I'm taking care of it?” Nadir spat with narrowed eyes.

  Phia scowled at him before her eyes returned to me. “Amai, I can’t believe you're still allowing this man to control you.”

  Before I could reply, Nadir stood from his chair and stepped into Phia’s personal space.

  “You're in my shit, so you better choose your words carefully. I don’t like you or your soft-ass husband but because Amai is hurt, I allowed you onto my property, so you could see about your daughter. Since you’ve never been shit to her, I figured I would give y’all a chance to make up for being a worthless set of parents. But you better watch your fucking mouth because I'm two seconds away from having your ass escorted off my shit.”

  Phia looked at Nate as if she wanted him to save her, but he only shook his head.

  “Now, enjoy Amai before you get your ass kicked out,” Nadir spat before he walked out the room.

  Phia scoffed as she approached the side of my bed. “Amai, why won’t you leave him? He’s not the one for you.”

  “Lady, did you not just hear my husband say focus on Amai before you get kicked out? Don’t come in here talking shit about my man,” Raye seethed.

  “Phia, please take a seat and be quiet. Amai doesn’t need to hear this right now and quite frankly, I don’t either,” Nate chastised her.

  I was so glad they were stepping in because I didn’t have the energy to deal with my mother. I assumed she would be humble after fucking over Nate like she had, but she was still the same woman, who saw everyone else’s flaws accept her own. Silently, she took a seat in the chair Nadir had been occupying and crossed her legs.

  “Amai, I'm going to go check on the boys and eat something. I’ll be back in a bit,” Raye announced.

  “Okay.”

  She left the room, and Nate sat on the chair near the nightstand. He grabbed my hand and held it gently. I hadn’t had contact with him since me and Nadir had ended our marriage. I was still undecided if I wanted them in my life, especially Phia. She seemed as if sh e hadn’t changed one bit.

  “How did this happen, Amai? Where were you?”

  “I was going home and was ambushed when I pulled into the garage.”

  “Your father told me that you left Nadir, and I celebrated,” Phia said. “But now that you're back here, I can’t help but to think that you're falling for his smooth pimp talk.”

  My neck jerked back at her. “For someone who was cheating on her husband of thirty years, you sure do have a lot of nerve. Actually, Ma, you’ve always had the audacity, but you should be the last person throwing stones.”

  “Uh, Amai, it’s okay,” Nate tried to interfere.

  I sucked my teeth. “No, it’s not. She is the worst kind of woman. The kind that will condemn you but be doing her dirt on the low. I don’t even know why you brought her here.”

  “Well, I wanted to make sure you were fine. My heart dropped when your father told me that you had been shot. Am I not allowed to worry about you, Amai?”

  “No, you're not,” I seethed. “You haven’t been worried about me all this time, so don’t start now. As you can see, I'm fine and don’t need you to act like you're concerned.”

  “So, why do I get all this flack when Nate did the same thing to me?” Phia barked.

  My eyes quickly looked at my father, who was scowling at Phia with flaring nostrils.

  “Have you lost your mind?” he quipped.

  “Yes, I have!” Phia jumped from her seat. “I'm tired of you going around, acting as if I'm this horrible woman, who did you wrong. I admit, I cheated but only after you did it to me. Did you tell the kids that part or did you conveniently leave that out?”

  I was waiting for a response from Nate because this was news to me. He never told me about his infidelities, only Phia’s.

  “Well,” I urged, hoping he would elaborate.

  Nate ignored me and glowered at Phia. “How dare you bring this up when our daughter is laying here recovering from a gunshot wound? You can be so selfish sometimes.”

  “No, you're selfish for going on this campaign as if you're a victim. Now, I'm questioning if we should even get back together.”

  “Back together?” I cringed. “I know y’all aren’t about to get back together.”

  Phia snaked her neck. “We were, but now that he has assassinated my character like this, I don’t know if I want to try.”

  “Phia, can we please discuss this later?” he pleaded. “I want to see about Amai, right now.”

  She snatched her purse and headed for the door. Before she walked out, she looked back at me.

  “Amai, I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry I showed my face. You’ll never have to see me again.”

  “Goodbye,” I replied, not willing to entertain her dramatic act.

  Nate sighed as she left the room. “I'm sorry about all of this. I thought it would be a good idea to bring her since she is your mother.”

  “So, you're trying to reconcile?” I asked, ignoring his apology.

  He almost looked embarrassed when I asked him. He seemed like he didn’t want to address it.

  “We discussed it, but nothing has been set in stone.”

  “When were you going to tell me about your infidelity?”

  He shrugged sheepishly. “Honestly, I wasn’t going to. I was too ashamed to profess that I had cheated on your mom.”

  “But you had no problem painting her out to be a bad guy when you had done the same thing? Why do that to her when you probably provoked her to cheat on you?”

  I was so disgusted by both of my parents. I mean, I wasn’t perfect. I did shit that I wasn’t proud of, but they were the self-proclaimed God’s children. They portrayed themselves to be upstanding Christians that didn’t participate in any type of sin. Now, they had been exposed and I wished that they would just own up to their shit, instead of placing the blame on each other.

  “It happened before you moved out and before Amir went to the Air Force. I had an emotional affair with one of the elders at the church. I didn’t get physical with this woman, but I did fall in love with her. I know, I'm wrong for that, and I've prayed every day for God to forgive me. I also begged Phia to forgive me, and she claimed that she did. Only instead of her accepting what I had done, she went out and cheated on me for revenge. I was hurt because she did it with someone, I’d had a friendship with. So, yes, I blasted her because I was in pain. Do I regret it? Yes, but I can’t take it back now.”

  I’d had a sudden epiphany while my father spoke. I was so far removed from my parents’ shit that I actually didn’t care what they did. If they broke up, I was cool with that. If they stayed together, I couldn’t care less. The emotional tie I had to them had finally dissolved. I still loved them because they were the people who created me, but the emotional attachment I used to possess for them had been removed.

  “That’s y’all life. I really don’t care. I've got my own problems to deal with,” I spoke dryly.

  “Well, I'm sorry to hear what happened, Amai. Are there any leads on who the people were, who did this?”

  I shook my head. “So far nothing, but I'm sure Nadir is doing all that he can to find them.”

  “Are you okay… you know, being here with him?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “I don’t know.” Nate shrugged. “I just remembered the last time we saw each other and how mad you were after your meeting with him. I just want to make sure that you feel safe here.”

  “I do, Dad. Nadir may be a lot of things, but he will always protect me.”

  Despite his flaws, Nadir always provided me with the sense of refuge. I always felt safe with him even when he pissed me off. The only time I was fearful of him was when he laid hands on me, which prompted me to leave.

  “Okay, well, is there anything you need me to do?”

  I pondered his offer for a minute. “Actually, it is.”

  “Just name it, and I’ll make it happen.”

  “I need you to relay a message to one of my friends. His name is Canton, and he owns a coffee shop on Beachier Street. Usually, he’s there in the afternoons on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.”

  “Okay, and what should I tell him?”

  “Tell him that I was attacked, and I'm in a safe place. Don’t tell him that I'm with Nadir though. Just tell him, when I get better, I'm going to call him.”

  Nate gave me a knowing expression. “He might want more information, Amai.”

  “Well, that’s all the information that I have for him. Just tell him that and leave the rest up to me.”

  “Okay, is that it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will I be able to come back and see you? I know Nadir doesn’t want us around.”

  No, I don’t want you around me…

  I decided to keep my thoughts to myself because I didn’t feel like arguing with Nate.

  “I’ll call and let you know when you can come. Right now, I just want to heal alone, if that makes sense.”

  “Amai, please don’t shut me out anymore. Let’s try to heal together. I’ll even leave Phia at home if that would make you feel better.”

  I can’t lie; his pleas were tugging on my heartstrings.

  “I'm going to call, Dad. I promise.”

  He nodded and stood. “At least that’s better than not hearing from you for more than two months. Please call, okay? And I’ll make sure to relay the message to your friend.”

  “Thank you.”

  Nate bent down to kiss my forehead before he walked out the room. I was relieved to be alone and without the chatter of everyone arguing. I closed my eyes and prayed to God for a speedy healing.

  It had been a whole week since I had heard from Amai, and I was worried sick. I’d called her phone so many times that I memorized her voicemail recording. I didn’t know where she lived and even called the jail and all the hospitals in the city to see if she was there. My search had proven to be an empty one because I had no answers to where she had disappeared to. My mind had wondered if Nadir had something to do with her absence. I had conjured up this scenario in my mind that made me feel like she may have been in danger.

  I sipped on my ice water as I went to Amai’s Instagram page. Normally, she would make a post each day to keep up her engagement. She also reviewed products and posted several ads from companies that paid her. The fact that she hadn’t posted in over a week sent me reeling. My mind wanted to believe that she was fine, but something in my heart told me she was in trouble.

  The door chimed and an older gentleman walked inside. He looked around and approached the counter. I went back to my quest for Amai on my phone and went to her Facebook page. As I was browsing, I noticed the man approaching my table.

  “Are you Canton?”

  “Why?” I asked defensively.

  “Is it okay if I take this seat?”

 

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