Scent of a Nightmare, page 23
I finally decided I wasn’t running anymore, and Tate proved he loved me. For the first time I felt like I was living.
“Because why, Cade?” He asked again.
The shower water hit the tub with a steady drip noise as I thought in silence. Tate waited for my response.
“I don’t know.” I whispered honestly.
He brushed a hand to my navel and then traveled lower on my body. That pleasure was starting to stir again where his hand met my core. No one had ever worshiped my body like this. He knew exactly what I needed and maybe it was because he knew what he wanted too.
“Are you trying to seduce me into saying yes?” I asked him as I moaned with his fingers pressing into me.
“Is it working?” He asked, his mouth pressed against the spot next to my ear. Goosebumps ran down my spine.
“No.” I said, stubbornly.
He moved his fingers in a rhythmic motion, and I gasped.
“Maybe.” I changed my mind as my body threatened to buckle in his hands under the shower. I dropped my head back into his chest and closed my eyes. His face was against mine.
“Maybe?” He whispered hopeful in my ear.
“Tate.” I gasped, my body responded to needing more of him.
He gave me more and then I was back on that ledge. Coiling pleasure rippled through me. He went deeper and faster.
Oh gods, this man.
“Cadence, move in with me.”
I was on the ledge, coiling as it tried to throw me off, but kept bringing me back.
“More.” I begged.
He gave me more and groaned in my ear.
The coils threw me off of the ledge and I came against his fingers. My body grew limp, and he held me upright as I trembled on shaking legs that barely recovered from earlier in his bed.
“I will do that every day to you. I will have you on every inch of this house at every moment you want it. I am yours Cadence. I want...”
“Yes.” I gasped, unable to come up with reasons as to why not.
He stopped talking and spun me to face him.
“Yes Tate.” I grinned at him.
He kissed me hard again and pushed me against the shower wall. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he gripped every part of me as he roamed my body. He worshiped me and loved me.
CADENCE
“WE MET ON A BLIND DATE in college. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, until I met Grady. He was nervous. The only time in our fifty-four years of marriage I saw his hands shake.” Grandma said into the microphone. A few people laughed at her joke. Her voice grew thick as she kept talking. “I will never know how to live without you Grady, but I will keep flying the way you would want me to. I will see you again my love. Thank you for loving every side of me. You were the best husband, father, grandpa, great grandpa, and friend there ever was.”
Tate moved an arm around my shoulders as I buckled into his chest. I sobbed into his black suit, and he rubbed my shoulder in comfort. Waylan sat on his lap and patted my head hard.
“It’s ohay momma. Pa is just sleeping.” She said out loud and grandma chuckled at Waylan’s voice that echoed in the silence. A few people awed at her innocence.
Ronnie sat on the other side of the pew and refused to look at any of us. I felt bad she was hurting too, but I couldn’t get over the betrayal and how deep it ran.
When it was our time to stand in line at the casket, Tate took Waylan outside because she got too anxious. They played in the yard of the church, and I stayed inside while we hugged everyone who ever knew grandpa.
By the end of the funeral, I was exhausted. We were all drained from human interaction. Ronnie left and went back home. She refused to talk to us, and I knew that bothered grandma. I didn’t care if Ronnie didn’t speak to me again.
We pulled into the driveway and Tate carried Waylan from the car seat into grandma’s house. She was sleeping as he laid her on the couch in the living room and covered her with his suit jacket. I hadn’t decided to tell grandma about me moving in with Tate yet. I wanted to wait until we knew what was happening with grandpa. His health declined fast after the night I told Tate I would move in with him. He understood and was patient with me. Instead, he had been staying with us, sleeping on the couch of course. Grandma said grandpa would have respected that, but she liked having Tate there in case there was an emergency.
I wanted a cigarette, but I decided I wasn’t going to smoke those anymore.
I quit cold turkey, and it was not easy. I didn’t want to do it anymore. Tate said I should channel the anxiety back into cooking. He mentioned something about needing help at the restaurant and then asked me if I could show the cook how to make that grilled cheese I made. It made me giggle because it was so basic, but he couldn’t figure out the Parmesan cheese thing.
I opened the pantry and pulled out some pasta. Then I went to the fridge and pulled out blocks of cheese and heavy cream. I grabbed fresh garlic and an onion. There was a bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer, and I set it in a bowl of cold ice water to thaw.
Cooking was my way of escaping. To escape the immense guilt, I had for leaving grandpa and missing six whole years with him. That was one regret I would never be able to forgive myself for. One more reason to hate Manny and what he took from me.
Tate walked into the kitchen and sat next to grandma. They watched me as I prepared the food and began to cook. It felt comforting and I felt at home as I chopped the onion and minced the garlic. I browned it with a stick of butter. When it was cooked, I added the heavy cream and a little bit of chicken stock. I added seasoning and then cooked the pasta while it simmered.
“I can watch her cook all day.” Tate said to grandma.
“She’s going to make you so fat.” Grandma said and Tate laughed.
I grinned.
I loved his laugh.
When everything was done, I plated the food and we all sat in silence while we ate.
Tate stared at me almost the entire dinner.
“You are right.” He told grandma. “I’m going to get so fat. At least I’ll be happy.”
“I told you.” She laughed.
“You should consider taking the job at the restaurant.” Tate implied.
“What would I do with Waylan?” I asked him.
“We would work it out.” Tate said. “I have a store manager, unless I re-sign those contracts.”
I dropped my fork.
My grandma shot him a look in disbelief.
“No, absolutely not.” I told him.
“It might be our only option.” Tate said.
“First grandpa and now the cafe. I don’t think I can take much more.” I mumbled.
“Hey, knock it off both of you.” Grandma scolded us. “Tate is not signing over the cafe and you are going to consider what he is offering. If anything, that is what grandpa would have wanted. As for Waylan, you still have me you know. You and Tate can coordinate schedules. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.”
We sat in silence until there was a knock on the door and we all sat unmoving. We looked at each other and wondered who had the energy to talk to one more person today.
Tate stood and opened the door.
He gave me a grave look as he ran a hand through his hair nervously.
My heart slowed in my chest.
Was Ronnie back?
Shane?
“It’s... Kiley... She brought.... cheesecake?” He looked at me unsure if he should let her in.
I stood slowly and walked to the door.
He took a step back and then gripped my elbow. “You ok?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
“Yell if you need me.” He said to me.
I nodded as I looked at Kiley.
“Um... hi.” She spoke.
“Hi.” I replied.
“Do you mind... if we sit?” She asked.
I nodded.
Kiley walked over to the furniture on the porch. She set the cheesecake on the table next to her and took a seat. Her large belly made it awkward for her to sit comfortably.
I walked along the railing and leaned against it across from her.
“I’m sorry about Grady.” Kiley said after a moment of silence.
“Me too.” I added.
“I made some comfort food.” She grinned, sheepishly.
“You bring two forks for that?” I asked, nodding at the cheesecake.
A grin cracked on her face and she nodded, pulling two forks from behind the cheesecake pan. She handed me one and took the lid off the container. I sat in the chair next to her and dug into the cake with her. We took bites in silence, not bothering to cut it. Acting like we did when we were teenagers. We took a moment to pretend we were best friends again, before... well before we weren’t anymore.
“When did you learn to bake?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence.
“The year you left. It was an outlet for me.” She admitted. “And when Shane almost died, it just... was something... well the only thing I was good at.”
I nodded, guilt started to fill me again.
Was that how they started getting close?
“I know what you're thinking.” She said as she rubbed her swollen belly.
“I doubt it. I’m thinking if I should hide this cake so Tate won’t eat it.” I responded.
She gave a sad smile.
“Shane and I got together four years ago. We were friends after you left and then...”
“You were more.” I finished. “I’m not mad about that. I don’t even feel anything about it. We were young and what Shane and I had was not real. Back then I thought I knew what love was, but now I see that it wasn’t what I thought it was.”
Kiley looked confused at me.
“I’m not upset you married Shane. I’m upset because... I wanted to tell you why I left, but I couldn’t. I tried calling you a million times when I left, but I couldn’t... I couldn’t risk Waylan. I was scared.” I admitted. “I’m still scared.”
Kiley nodded.
“You know the truth, don't you?” I asked her.
She nodded. “I found out after the park when you told Shane to do the math. I couldn’t believe I never did the math. It was right there. All the signs were right there.”
Then she tried to hold back the tears, but failed miserably.
I didn’t look at her as she tried to not cry.
Her crying always triggered me to cry with her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked me. “I would’ve gone with you. I would have left with you. I would have cut the fucking brake lines with you and burned the man alive.”
I shrugged. “Saying I got a hundred points didn’t feel like something to talk about anymore. It was embarrassing and violating. It was something I didn’t want anyone to know. Then... well... you know.. Shane... I didn’t mean for him to get hurt...”
“I feel like this was my fault. I told you to go back to the house. I never thought he would do that. I would never have... I... God Cadence. I was so mean to you when you came home.” She fidgeted with the fork. “I never should have left you on the boat.”
“I never should have left the boat.” I whispered.
“I should have protected you.”
“Kiley, we were stupid teenagers. We didn’t think something like this could have happened. It only happened in the movies, not something that would happen to us. It was Manny’s fault. Manny did this. He’s the only one to blame.” I told her. “I think if it didn’t happen that night, it would have eventually happened or to someone else.”
“I’m sorry Cadence. I am so sorry I wasn’t a better friend.” She cried as she wiped the tears with the back of her hand. Her mascara streaked down her face as she pulled the collar of her shirt up and dabbed at her eyes.
“I’m sorry I never came home.” I told her.
“I missed you.” She admitted.
Fuck... I missed you too.
I didn’t say it though. I didn’t know if I could open the door to her. She was too close to the one person I’m holding behind the closet door in my brain.
“I wish we could be friends again.” She said quietly.
There was an awkward silence that hung in the air.
The words felt like battery acid on my tongue, but I couldn’t give her hope. Not until I knew Manny Wolfe was gone forever.
“I don’t think we could ever be friends like that again, Kiley. I can’t have Waylan around Manny.” I told her. I stood from the chair and walked towards the railing again as I leaned my back against it. “You are too close to Manny. It’s not something I am comfortable exploring and Shane... well that’s his father and if he decided to come after me and Waylan, I can’t risk that.”
An awkward shift filled the air around us. Almost like she had expected this. We both regretted this unfortunate situation.
“That’s the other reason I am here.” She said, wiping her tears from her eyes.
“What?” I asked.
Tate lingered at the door and stepped outside. I looked up at the kitchen window and rolled my eyes. He heard us through the open window of the kitchen.
I really need to check that window more often.
”You’re clingy.” I told him.
He shrugged as he leaned next to me. “You are too precious to me.”
Kiley scoffed. “Like I would hurt her.”
“Please, you are married to the family that has.” Tate shrugged. “I’m just protecting my family.”
My family, his words made my bones turn to lava again. I shuttered internally at the sound of it.
I elbowed him and he placed a hand on my back.
Kiley rolled her eyes as she stood from the chair. She rubbed her round belly and then spoke. “Shane doesn’t want to press charges about the brakes six years ago. That’s why I am here. Manny is being released from the hospital tomorrow. He’s still recovering, but he’s pissed. He’s out for blood now. He’s... if anything he’s unhinged. I have never seen him like this. I just want you guys to be warned and be prepared... for whatever he might do. We are not sure what he is going to do. I couldn’t see him being violent, but then again... I didn’t think he was capable of doing what he did six years ago.”
I sucked in a breath.
“He might come for Waylan. I just wanted to warn you guys. I don’t want Waylan to get hurt. She’s still my family. You guys are still my family, whether or not you want us in your life. Manny isn’t who we thought he was. The truth is finally coming from the woodwork now, or whatever that phrase is.” Kiley said as she headed towards the stairs. She walked down them and then turned to us. “Be careful Cade. I love you and I’m really sorry for everything I did to you. I would take it back if I could.”
I nodded at her and hugged my chest. “Thank you, Kiley.”
CADENCE
“I’M MOVING.” GRANDMA told me.
“What?” I exclaimed as I brushed Waylan’s hair while she sat on the counter in the bathroom.
“It’s too much house for me. I am going to move to those condos where Jeanie and Maryanne live. Their neighbor is moving, and I already had been approved for it. I planned on it when grandpa had his first stroke. Before you and Way decided to come home.” She told me. “I was going to see if you and Waylan wanted the house, but that bastard lives in this neighborhood. The offer still stands of course. I would offer it to Ronnie if you declined, but she said she would die before moving here again. So, if you say no, I’m going to sell it.”
A house... but I already had a house... I needed to tell her.
“Grandma, I’m moving in with Tate.” I said fast. I closed my eyes, waiting for her to say it was too soon or that I was moving too fast.
“Thank god.” She said in an exhale. “I thought you were going to drag that out to the point where you left again.”
I shook my head. “Not this time. I don’t want to run anymore. I grew up here too. I have a say where I want to live and no one should be able to tell me what I can and can’t do. What would I be teaching Waylan if I kept running?”
I secured a hair tie in Waylan’s hair and set her down so she could go pack her Barbie’s for our trip to the park. I set the brush down and looked at grandma. She grabbed me and hugged me hard. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. “I’m just so proud of you.”
Tears hit my face at her warm embrace.
“I love you Cadence baby.” She said, as she leaned back and pressed a delicate hand on my cheek. “My amazing baby girl raising an equally amazing baby girl.”
“I love you too Grandma.” My eyes watered as I grinned at her.
It had been a week after Kiley visited. Manny had been released from the hospital days ago and we hadn’t heard anything. Tate’s father said that the charges for the battery assault and the case with the tapes and blackmail seemed to have fizzled out. The video I took helped build our case. He did say that we needed to be careful about a custody battle for Waylan. The only saving grace that would help me tremendously was when Manny said he knew about her existence but didn’t act on it. Tate’s dad said that he might try to claim that she could still be Shane’s so we would need to be careful that Shane didn’t try to intervene. I had to have faith in Kiley and Shane to not come for us. He mentioned that me marrying Tate would help our case, but he said as a parent he didn’t recommend it and wasn’t sure that it was a good move for Tate. He said I came with too much baggage.
I had to hold Tate back. He almost lost it.
It didn’t stop Tate from sneaking little proposals in when he could though.
Insufferable.
I was not ready for that at all.
I walked down the stairs and Waylan ran from the Barbie house to the front door when Tate walked through it. He wore his usual black jeans and tight black shirt. This was his coffee shop attire. It made him look magnificent. We were going to head into the cafe for a little bit for the first time in weeks and then I was going to take Way to the park while he worked for a few hours.
He caught me looking at him and winked at me.
He made my face flush. He was gorgeous. I would never get tired of looking at him.
