Scent of a Nightmare, page 22
“What?” I asked, catching that last part about the restaurant.
Kellan grinned. “My bar you two defiled, is his bar too. He is the co-owner of the restaurant.”
“Wait... so we didn’t break in?” I sat next to him, slipping my flip flops off and kicking my feet into the water.
Kellan shook his head. “No.”
I snorted at him. “Insufferable. So, he owns two businesses?”
Kellen nodded. “Yeah, but the cafe is his first love, well it was his first.” He gave me a pointed look.
“I bet it’s still his first. He doesn’t want me now. I come with too much toxic baggage. Even his dad sees it.” I laid on the pier and closed my eyes, draping my arm over my face.
“You guys will figure it out. It might take some time, but Tate still cares about you.” Kellan said as he played with a leaf that was next to him. He dropped the pieces he tore off into the lake. The water rippled and sloshed against the pier as we listened to it.
We sat in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry that shit happened to you.” Kellan said finally.
I reached down and squeezed his hand. I didn’t know how to respond to his apology.
I closed my eyes, wishing the sun would evaporate my entire body into the air and take me away from here. All I wanted to do was float off into the universe like the tiny pieces of pollen that were floating around us from the wildflowers.
The bright sun dimmed behind my eyelids from a shadow blocking it out. I squinted my eyes open to find Tate standing over me. He glared down at me with his arms crossed over his chest as he spoke. “I think you should leave now.”
There it is.
I sighed, fighting the urge to cry again.
I planned on leaving when he told me to go.
I had a bag packed at home for Waylan and I. It was hidden under the bed, so my grandma didn’t find it. I bought a bus ticket last night to a town seven hours away with the money I saved over the few months. From my grandma sending me money through a bank app, I could afford a motel for a few nights. At least until I could find a job and childcare for Waylan.
I nodded as I stood.
I looked at Kellan and smiled at him. He looked past me and then gave Tate a questioning look.
I avoided touching Tate because I knew if I touched him, I wouldn’t be able to let him go. I took a few steps past him, but then Tate grabbed my arm to stop me. “Not you.”
Kellan whistled. “Oh, thank God it’s me you are talking to. I’ll go check on the cafe for you.”
“Thanks.” He said coldly, still not looking at me.
I trembled under his hand. I wanted to crumble under him.
Kellan headed to his sports bike, which matched Tate’s. The only difference was, Kellan’s was red and white, like his charger. He saluted me as he mounted the bike and revved it. He pulled out of the driveway, and we watched him leave out of view.
“Did your dad leave?” I asked Tate, refusing to look at him and his angry looks.
“Yeah. He will be back tomorrow though.”
“Seven words. That’s a record.” I spoke.
“What?” He looked at me and his face softened slightly when our eyes met.
“You said seven words to me. That’s the most you’ve said to me in a while.” I shrugged.
“I needed some space to clear my head. I would have said some things I would have regretted.” He told me.
I turned back to the pier and sat back down. I pulled my legs up to my chin and rested my head on them. My bus was scheduled to leave at five thirty. It was already three fifteen now. I still needed to get Waylan ready to leave and talk to grandma about it. She would be devastated, but I couldn’t stay here. I moved and dangled my legs into the lake and sucked in a sob. I didn’t want to cry in front of Tate. I didn’t want him to pity me. I hurt him. I hurt everyone around me.
I felt Tate’s presence behind me as he dropped down onto the pier and then sat behind me. He placed each leg on either side of me and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I gasped a muffled sob at the gesture. Surprised he even wanted to be near me. Tears swelled in my eyes, and I let them escape. My chest hurt holding in the sob and I sagged into his embrace. Warmth and relief settled into me like a protective blanket. He pulled me closer to him as he pressed his face into the back of my head. He sighed into me as I replayed through the thoughts that were racing through my head this past week.
I thought we were broken up.
I was certain he was going to tell me he no longer loved me.
I thought he was leaving me.
“I bought a bus ticket.” I whispered with a scratchy voice.
His body tensed. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
I sucked in another sob. “It leaves at five thirty.”
“Well, that was a waste of money.” He replied. “Because you won’t be getting on it.”
“Tate, this is your chance to get out of this.”
He exhaled an annoyed puff of air into the back of my hair. “I’m going to tell you this once and then I will not say it again. So, listen closely, Cadence Evergreen.” His warm hands turned my head to face him. His eyes narrowed at me, and I swallowed hard at his look. “I. Am. Not. Leaving. You. You are stuck with me through it all. Through the bad and good things. There is nothing taking you from me and there is nothing taking me from you. We are going to face this together. You will never have to face this alone ever again.”
The tears fell harder now. I crumbled under his hold, and he just gripped me harder to him.
“I thought you hated me.” I whispered as I turned in his lap and he cradled me. “I thought we broke up.”
“I just went to jail for you.” He responded. “I could never hate you Cadence. I was just pissed at you. I am still pissed actually.”
“I’m sorry.” I spoke. I tried to hold it together.
“Why did you go back to him? Why did you leave us?” He asked. He pressed his forehead into mine.
I didn’t tell him why I went when Ren questioned us. I just said that I stole Tate’s car and met him at a bar.
“Because... he texted me. He said he... he said he was going to press charges if I didn’t go. I didn’t know he had a video of me cutting the brake lines. He threatened to take Waylan and he said things that made me mad. I was incredibly angry with him.” I spoke. “I wanted to hear him admit he hurt me. I wanted him to stop gaslighting me. To find a way to expose him. I thought it would help me let it go and stop having this closet full of dark secrets that keeps opening and seeping out. To make the nightmares go away. I wanted him to feel regret for what he did.”
“He isn’t going to give you the redemption you are looking for.” Tate said.
“I know.”
“What you did was reckless.” He said as he smoothed my hair behind my ear.
“I know.”
“What do you think would have happened to Waylan if something happened to you?” He spoke. “I’m not trying to be a dick, but did you really think that she would have legally been able to stay with me? I don’t have any jurisdiction when it comes to her. Your grandma does, but I bet Manny or Shane would have more capabilities of taking her from us. Then who would protect her? Don’t get me wrong, I would go to jail a thousand times for you two, but there is no way I could legally protect her without you here. Other than kidnapping her from them, which I would do. But realistically, what kind of life would she have if she didn’t have you?”
I didn’t say anything. What I did was dumb. I regretted it the moment Manny touched me.
“Promise me you won’t do that again.” Tate said. “Because the sight of him with his hands on you... it made me lose my fucking mind. I had never been that angry before. I lost all common sense and next time I promise I will kill him.”
I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know I could promise that.
“Cadence?” He asked, wanting me to answer.
I just did what I do best... I deflected.
“I burned the contract.” I sighed.
“What?” Tate gave me a confused look and then realization hit him.
“Kellan grabbed the contract after you were arrested. They fell under the desk and he went back to get it for me. I burnt them the day you sent him to get your phone. Which was childish by the way.” I scolded him.
“Well, that solves some of this, I guess.” He exhaled.
“How did you know where I was?” I turned to him.
“It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head.
“It does. How did you find me?” I asked him again, thinking back on his helmet and needed to know what happened to it. “What did you do with Waylan?”
“I got a text from Brex. Brex took a picture of you with Manny. She told me what bar you were in and I called Caroline. She came to get Waylan and I drove to you. Kellan met me there and you know the rest.” He said.
“Brex texted you?” I asked. Feeling a strange sense of jealousy and violation that she had his number.
“Yes. She thought that her picture would prove what she told me a few weeks ago. I blocked her and told her to fuck off.” He told me. “After I scared her when I threw my helmet.”
“Is that why your helmet was broken?”
Tate nodded. “Yes.”
I hugged his arms that were wrapped around my waist.
“What did she tell you a few weeks ago?”
“It doesn’t matter. It was her being a shit person and she’s lucky I didn’t hit her with the helmet.” Tate admitted.
I sighed. I was more relieved that Brex was not someone he was remotely interested in. I looked up at him and he ran a hand over my jaw. I shivered at him touching me. He tilted my head up to him and he kissed me. My lungs struggled to take a breath as I melted into his touch. I felt like there was a magnetic pull as I turned in his lap and kissed him back. He gripped my back to keep me from falling into the lake. We pulled apart and I leaned back to see him.
He sighed as his eyes settled to where my shorts rode up too high on my thighs.
“Are you still mad at me?” I asked him, making his eyes drift back up to my face. I pushed my hips into him to get more comfortable. The look on his face made me grin and I realized I started something with him.
“Yes.” He mumbled. His eyes trailing down my body.
I shivered as his eyes darkened. I bit my lip at him, knowing it drove him crazy.
I moved again and pushed my hips harder. “Are you really mad at me?”
He sighed and whispered. “I’m still very angry with you.”
I rolled my hips and leaned in to kiss him again. His hands gripped my ass hard and kissed me back as he pulled me into him. He tasted like mint as he ran his tongue across mine. He groaned as his hands trailed up to my hips and then up my waist. They trailed lightly up to my bra. He unclasped it with one hand and I felt his grin with my mouth.
“Tate Adams, why are you so good at that?” I teased him.
“I just know what I want.” He replied as he rolled me to my back and stood. He pulled me to my feet and then to his chest as he gripped my thighs and lifted me from the ground. I wrapped my legs around him hard as he carried me to the four seasons room.
I became frantic as I kissed him harder. There was nothing tender or careful with him kissing me this time. He had me against the wall of the four seasons room and pulled my shirt over my head. He dropped the shirt and bra to the floor as his mouth was on me, hungry. I arched my back into him and ran my hands through his disheveled hair, tugging it hard. He groaned and came up to my neck. He ran his mouth over my skin causing goosebumps to rise up my arms.
I shuttered at his touch. Heat pulled all over my body with him. I really thought we wouldn’t have this again. I thought I would be on a bus to another town right now. With Waylan and I trying to figure out a life together without Tate. My chest tightened at the thought. It made me more frantic to grab onto him. The idea of him not being here. It was a thought that kept me up all night this past week. I cried so much I was sure I didn’t have any more tears in my body.
But here we are.
And he still desired me just as much as he did that first time we kissed on the pier. He had seen every ugly part of me. He still loved me. He went to jail for me. He almost killed the man that hurt me most because he loved me.
“I missed you.” He said. “I missed us.”
“I missed you.” I said. “I really thought we were broken up.”
I gasped as he took one of my breasts into his mouth. I gasped his name as he pressed me harder into the wall. My legs ached how hard they were clutching him. A warm pulsing sensation pulled through my entire body. I shook at the need to have him all over me.
“You’re everything to me Cadence. I wouldn’t let you go for the world. You run and I am going with you. I would search the entire world to find you.” He told me in between his mouth trailing my body. I gasped at him as he moved his mouth over my skin and up to my jaw. His mouth trailed kisses over the length of my jaw and to my mouth. His mouth was on mine again and I groaned at the taste of him.
He pulled me from the wall and carried me through the kitchen and to his room. He dropped me onto the bed and the smell of him engulfed me again. The blanket of security and love wrapped around me tightly. The anxiety of the weight of the world left me as he pulled his clothes off.
I watched him.
I couldn’t believe how gorgeous he was. His body was perfect in every way. My eyes trailed every inch of him, like I hadn’t seen him before. The aching sensation of missing him was powerful. Tears threatened to fall, and I sucked in a deep breath. I loved him. I loved him so much it physically hurt.... And I almost lost him.
He gave a sly grin as he went for my shorts. He pulled them off in one swift motion and threw them across the room. I sucked in a surprised breath and grinned at him. I was a mess, wanting to cry one moment for how much I loved him and needed him on me, to me being absolutely feral for him.
He came over to me and was on top of me. Roaming my body with his hands, like he had never felt it before. He worshiped every part of me. His long fingers ran along every curve on me. Over the scars from carrying Waylan to the tattoo that was intended to give me protection from the dark memories that threatened me every day. He leaned down and kissed me again. His tongue against mine as he claimed me as his. He took the ghost feeling of Manny’s hands on me away. Tate made me feel like I wasn’t tainted or ruined. I didn’t belong to Manny anymore. Tate made me feel like I belonged to myself. That I was his to protect.
He erased Manny.
Tate was mine to protect too. He was mine to keep forever.
He was my best friend and great love. A love different from what I ever felt. His love was the happiness I thought I was never deserving of having.
Tate Adams made me feel like a human again.
Worthy.
Beautiful.
Unbroken.
Whole.
I hooked my leg around his thigh and rolled him onto his back. He grinned at me as I sank onto him. He drew his head back and let out a sound that made me shatter. He gripped my hips and he helped me move against him. I ground deeper into him and pleasure started to coil inside me. A moan escaped my mouth as I rocked against him harder. Hungrier for more of him. His fingers gripped my hips hard. They bruised my skin as it made me feel heated all over at the notion. That I could give him this reaction. It made me move harder... faster into him. Taking more of him, going deeper.
The feeling started to intensify as it coiled harder in my abdomen.
Tate let out a low groan and then I was on that ledge again. It tightened... wrapped around me. I held my breath and dug my nails into his chest as I grounded my hips. I tightened my body as the coiling sensation held me in place on my ledge. I wanted to leap. I was ready to. My lungs begged to breathe as I held the feeling as long as I could.
“Cadence,” Tate said my name in a way that made me know he was on his ledge too. I moved harder into him.
I let the coils take me, throwing me far over the edge. I gasped his name and shattered on him. He gripped me and rolled me onto my back before I could process. The pressure of him back in me, took my breath away. He moved rough against me, burying his head into my shoulder. He reached his ledge and I dug my nails into his back to hold him against me as we trembled in each other’s arms.
We were desperate to hold onto each other.
The thought of loss was unbearable to us.
My bones were jelly and turned me to molten lava every fucking time he touched me, looked at me, spoke to me, or was just near me. He laid on top of me and smooth my hair away from my face as he looked at me.
“Don’t you dare get on that fucking bus.” He whispered.
“I won’t.” I promised, laying there spent. My chest rose and fell rapidly.
He kissed my forehead as he rolled off of me and laid on his back.
We laid there, still panting and processing everything this awful week brought up.
Then after a few long moments, I stood from his bed and walked towards the master bathroom. I turned the shower on and stepped in.
I started washing my body off with his body wash. There was something empowering, smelling like him and washing off the fear and anxiety that I had been blanketing the last couple days. Taking in his woodsy scent, I inhaled deeply. I closed my eyes and took long steady breaths.
Seconds later Tate stepped behind me, just like I anticipated. He kissed my shoulder and ran his hands over my body. He touched me everywhere as he pressed my naked body against his solid chest.
“Cadence, will you and Waylan move in with me?” He asked again.
I sucked in a breath at his question.
“No.” I whispered out of reaction.
“Why?” He asked, trailing kisses up my neck and to my ear.
“Because...” I started, but couldn’t think of a reason why.
I wasn’t going to before because it would be unstable for Waylan, but I couldn’t see my life without Tate. He knew every dark secret about me.
