Our Ladies, page 24
Can I have a red wine with two spoons of sugar in it? Kay goes.
Eh? The barman goes.
Don’t say ‘Eh’, goes Fionnula.
The barman looked at them.
Listen, put two spoonfuls of sugar in the red wine, went Kay, I’m pregnant and it’s good for me. I shouldn’t be drinking and a Malibu and Coke.
Fionnula laughed and goes, Hush, honey, look!
Chell came walking down fro the stairs. All the guys looked at her strangely, amazed they were so pissed they’d missed her before; she seemed smaller, then Fionnula saw she was carrying her long boots.
Hiyas!
How’d you get in?
Climbed in the fuckin window out the back, where the fuck’re all the sailors?
Tucked up in their spunky sub.
What do you want to drink?
Get us a pint of cider please, Kay. Ta. Fuck it, no sailors and all that effort.
There’s none here, just the Port workers up the stair.
Michelle and Manda are in there!
Yup. What happened to your boots?
Bust them on the way in, but Orla was saying she bought Docs for Manda an they’re in her bag.
What’s all this?
Chell looked down, an all over her dark, leopard-print top were millions of little islets of ultraviolet blue, all the little dust-motes off the seaweed, Oh fuck, ah look like I’ve got the worst dandruff ever, she bashed down at the fabric above her breasts, Who’s goan want dance wi me? She looked round, Mind who would ah really want to dance with? Ta, she took the pint cider an guzzled a big dollop offof the top.
Orla an Kylah came down the stairs an went spinnin cross the dancefloor thegether in a mock waltz then put their arms up an started twirlin their hands round.
There’s an idea, goes Kay.
What? goes Chell, no even looking at her. She shook her head an goes, Ah telt them to try blend in to the background a bit, she says an took a swig more cider.
Kylah had fallen over on the dancefloor an Manda had broke free of her snogger, she helped pull Kylah up an hugged her, then she saw all the ultraviolet motes on her and was swishing her palms around Kylah’s lilac T-shirt. Chell watched her an minded Manda gogglin at her fanny when she pissed in the sink at those guys’ place. The boy Manda had broken away fro, stood stock still, kinda bemused, awkward an watchin.
Time After Time came on.
Orla came boundin up the stairs laughin and goes, We jumped in the back window on a pile of seaweed. We’re stinkin of seaweed.
Beats spew, went Kay, an they all laughed.
Chell laughed and goes, What are we like the lot of us?
Manda had gone back to snoggin the man, turnin slowly on the spot, next to Michelle who had stopped makin any attempt to dance an was just massively snoggin the other guy on the spot.
Kylah came up the stair offof the dancefloor an laughed, Hiya!
I’m buying everyone drinks, goes Kay and I’m drinkin wine with sugar in it.
Hey, let’s taste, goes Kylah, Mmm, can I have one then?
Kay an Fionnula looked at each other an burst out laughin.
What? goes Kylah.
Oh, nothin, we’re no laughin at you honey. It’s somethin else.
When Kay went up the bar, Kylah goes, Hi, do you know what Kay’s like on cello?
Ah’ve never heard her since second year, but she’d been getting tuition ah think. How?
I’d really like try sing along to it, like solo voice an a cello, be weird.
Mmm, sometime, sure you can. What were you saying bout you left the band?
Ah was feeling bad earlier but am glad ah did now. There’s always a time when it’s best to go solo. Grace Slick or that. Ah was thinking, maybe come up the night, wee fuckin jam session wi posh Kay.
Wouldn’t mind a wee jam session with her maself, Fionnula thought an says, Aye, maybe.
An since we’re same sizes, wouldn’t mind checking out her wardrobe, Kylah nodded to Kay, up the bar, the old Port marshals harmlessly flirting wi her, in Kylah’s new clothes.
Fionnula stared, laughing.
Whaaaaaat? Goes Kylah in a kinda cutey-pie way.
Fionnula just shook head an says, Kylah, you’re a star, you’re a star already an you should mind that.
Chell goes, Ah wish Manda would get shot of that grot, ahm sure you can catch something offof this carpet, she nodded down at her feet.
Aye, athlete’s foot, worse than the pool.
Athlete’s foot! More foot and mouth.
Thats what Michelle’s doin wi yon guy.
They laughed.
Ma little toe’s been sore all day wi these boots, goes Orla.
Aye, they’re nice tho.
Kay arrived wi sugared wines.
Ta, that’s fucking great, goes Kylah.
So you bought Manda a pair Docs, Orla?
Cmon. We all know she’s no money.
They all nodded.
An ah’ve got a pair. Or rather, I don’t, she goes an tapped her tits.
All laughed.
Ah feel like a slow dance but no wi anything in here. Am bored out ma skull, goes Kylah an she stamped off, somewhere up towards the toilets.
Last one the night, the DJ barked an the last orders bell whanged behind the bar.
Stockard Channing’s voice filled the blue light, the opening moments of There Are Worse Things I Could Do, offof the Grease soundtrack. All the Sopranos put down their drinks simultaneously.
I’ll take the hassle if you will, goes Fionnula, an she could feel herself shaking.
Let’s go for it, says Kay.
Chell had grabbed that boy who’d first made move on Kay, Don’t you stand on ma fucking toes, she says, draggin him away fro the bar.
At first, The Night Fionnula McConnel Slow Danced Wi Kay Clarke, they weren’t star attraction, cause Kay and Fionnula were already conjoined mong the ultraviolet, thick in dry ice, when Kylah spun onto the dance floor doing a pretty good waltz, her arms wrapped passionately round the sanny bin. This raised a good chunk of unheard laughs an smiles till, cautiously, men began to cross over from the bar to the railings by the floor.
Fionnula felt she had to keep whisperin as Kay leaned against her, hair all over her face, she was so nervous she wasn’t enjoyin it, stuff ravin through her mind, Fionnula says, Ah don’t know why you’re worried about getting expelled cause, if you, if you had baby, being expelled’s perfect cover for being away fro school. You get expelled but you don’t get all the stuff ah having to leave cause you’re pregnant.
Manda had stopped snoggin her man an stepped aside of him when he moved in front her, so she could watch, stood by the rails. When he saw what she was looked at, he fair lost interest in Manda. Even Michelle had broke off to watch; Catriona an The Hairdressers up in one of the booths all stood up when Kay an Fionnula’s slow dance took them close to the stairs and out of sight of the furthest booths.
The song had finished an the full lights come up, an it was in the clear and vivid light, Fionnula had goes, Kiss me.
Ice and the Pearl
Outside in colder, breezier air, the dark round back of the Mantrap, Kay was leaned gainst Fionnula’s arm, then there was a bit distance to where Michelle stood. Manda was over by the pile of seaweed, helpin Orla first, make the jump down from the wee toilet window, an promisin catch her. Chell tossed down the backpacks an made an easy jump wearing Manda’s new Docs. The sanny bin came flying out first, missed Manda and made a real din, then Kylah jamp, crashing into the pile of weed an collapsin it, laughing an standin.
Halooo! Kylah called.
Hi, Fionnula went, quietly.
They began to move round the front, Fionnula an Kay walkin a little apart, Manda in front. There was a crash back in the darkness where Kylah seemed to ah disposed of the sanny bin.
Kylah came running, running out glooms an started walking longside Kay, It would be brilliant to one day, do a bit singing with you, if you want, on your cello, Kay, eh?
That’d be brilliant.
Just like me, wailing away, you, maybe me on guitar, like that’s kind of stuff am into doin rather than bands, me out front wi a circle boys round gawping. The music should be first, see ya, she ran on, so she was hopping aside Manda.
What the fucka ya doin? Manda goes.
Eh? went Kylah.
Don’t fucking talk to them.
What’re you on about? goes Kylah, but they were beside the door of the Trap, so Manda juss did a big huff out.
Ladies. The island bouncer nodded.
Kylah visibly sped up an turned her head aside, but sudden-like Manda stepped over to him, What’re ya doin after?
Why, where are you goin?
Barrels.
Kylah was stopped at the corner when Orla and Chell an Michelle an Fionnula and Kay caught up.
Can ya believe that? goes Kylah. Fuckin Manda Tassy’s been there!
That’s musta been why he juss let her in. She looks youngest of us all, goes Michelle.
Fuckin acts it as well, Fionnula grumbled, but the others says nothin, just flickered nervousy looks at Kay.
No lookin at Fionnula or Kay, but in her own ways of eloquence, Kylah goes, A mean, when yur wasted enough, you’ll snog, that’s way it goes, I’ve near snogged ma brother out of boredom when ah’ve been pissed enough, eh? But wi him!
Aye, Chell an Orla quickly agreed an that was it. If Fionnula an Kay had been willin to leave it at that, they might of had the whole thing forgot, an put down to another wild night.
She kept slaggin him to fuck, goes Michelle.
You could see Kylah really tryin defuse the whole vibe that was buildin, tryin go along wi it so far hersel, but then Manda was catchin up so they all walked on an into Barrels an it was Orla up the bar, turning to Fionnula, an Fionnula goin, Whisky, triple whisky.
You don’t drink whisky.
First time for everythin.
An course every cunt was lookin, an fuckin Catriona an The Hairdressers over in the corner by the juke box starin, an half the useless bastards that was just in the Mantrap, specially the men, cause it’s such a poxoid affair of a town, that the night club’s actually a good place to catch a quiet pint! Fore you have to face yur grim local for final orders. An the marshals, were lookin cause it’s all the Catholic girls who’re hot on each other, most of them are ex-merchant navy an just’ll laugh it off an forget by their stocious bedtime, but you can’t separate who was who, as in, who just starin cause of Kay’s legs an being a new face on the scene, an who is staring cause in this town, rumours are down the street fore the wind is.
Manda was straight up, openly lookin back then talkin quick to The Hairdressers and Catriona, who had a dead expression on her face an Kay ordered a tequila through Orla an smiled at Fionnula, I just want to see how quick I’m sick.
Fionnula shook her head an leaned on the bar, like a man would, but alas, Michelle and Chell had found the booth by the door so Kylah was over there yakkin nervous about anythin so Kay an Fionnula looked at each other.
That’ll be £10.66 please, says the barman.
Battle of Hastings.
Battle of Hastings, says Kay an Fionnula, simultaneous, quick, then both burst out in hysterics.
Stay here, goes Fionnula. Let’s fuckin’ stay here. If you’re gonna burn your bridges burn them, an she takes a swallow of the whisky and curdles her face right up.
Ah think men put water in it.
Fuckin salt water.
Look at Catriona, look.
Fionnula turned an Kay held out her arm an gave this real quayside wave.
Fionnula laughed openly as Catriona juss had to stand, rigid, wi her wee sister in front her, layin off so furiously the ponytail back of her head was shakin. Fionnula laughed more, this wasn’t just laughin at the situation, it was a laugh AT Catriona.
Under breath as she waved more, Kay muttered, Wave back. Wave back, remember me? I licked your fanny.
Fionnula was really laughing by then, Ah don’t think you did it well enough, Kay.
Oh I did. I can assure you, I did, the way she was reacting at the time.
Ah see! laughed Fionnula, a deep laugh. Obviously that kind of thing happens every night to Catriona Tassy, an she’s strugglin to remember yur face, or maybe somethin else!
They both laughed.
Cmon, let’s sit, an they crossed to the booth where Chell, Kylah, Orla, an Michelle were.
The girls all stopped talkin when Kay an Fionnula arrived. Kylah did her best goin, We were just saying, mind when Anne Curran got suspended and she was so bored she started comin into school every day.
First time she’d come in on time in her life!
It was right enough! goes Chell, Her attendance was perfect after she was suspended, it was brilliant!
Then they stopped her comin in.
Ah don’t think they’ll have that problem wi us.
Manda had begun traversin the bar floor towards them, slowly getting closer. Kylah got visibly jittery, Did yous hear the sub had someone died in it? That’s why it was ashore. A guy had a heart attack an his coffin got took ashore this afternoon.
Died of too much wankin! Chell gave out a laugh as Manda stepped over Kay’s leg an slumped into her seat, sucked huffy on her Hooch. There was an all-round silence. Everyone smoked. Everyone drunk.
Ah think you’re really selfish, goes Manda.
Is that what your sister says, so you’re sayin it? went Fionnula, no lookin at Manda an then Kay looked a bit the uncomfy cause Manda’s bullshit was not worth comin out wi what her sister had done an Kay gave Fionnula a warnin look.
Ah mean I have to come out to the Mantrap as well every Saturday an now we’re the laughin stock of the town cause yous are so pissed.
Ahm no that pissed.
Fionnula, ya can’t go around doin that, people’ll think you were lezzie.
Fionnula leaned right forwarders, Don’t tell me what I can an can’t do, the school an the church are at enough of that without ma friends startin.
Friends! Some best friend that does that. Everyone knows we go round thegether Fionnula, Manda looked an there was pain in her face right enough.
Manda, it doesn’t matter, it’s nothing, can’t you see how it doesn’t matter? It’s you makin it out somethin …
But she was on a roll, You’ve really been getting on ma nerves lately, ah doan know why, am just ma usual self but you’ve been weird, an now this. Manda looked near to greet.
Manda, ah don’t want talk about it, ah just want to get pished, we’re fuckin young, you’re actin like a forty-year-old already.
Am ah fuck, it’s just you’re immature, don’t value yur friends an you’ll regret it, ah mean, where’d the fuck YOU come from? she turned on Kay.
Fore Kay could get involved, in a direct line of energy that cut everyone else out, Fionnula glared, shoutin, She was sick, ill, ah found her.
That doesnt make sense, how’d you just meet her in that huge city an why she have a change of clothes?
Cause she was lookin at a flat for university …
That’s not true, Kay snapped.
Yes it is, went Fionnula.
Chell and Orla looked from girl to girl an sipped their drinks an nibbled at their crisps.
Kay Clarke goes, I was at a clinic that I’d telephoned from a call box round the corner from here a week or so back. It’s basically an abortion clinic. That’s where ah was today, just talkin to a doctor and a counsellor woman.
Fionnula put her face in her hands, Nooo.
Kay Clarke looked at Michelle an says, Michelle, I’m nine weeks pregnant.
Probably never had the Sopranos been so quiet an so still for so long. Fionnula coughed.
You okay? Michelle, smiled. You seem okay, better than I was but … its goan be different for you, eh?
Manda mumbled, Wasn’t to know an ah don’t think tonight helps matters, but she was just starin at Kay Clarke, eating this all up wi her eyes.
Chell goes, God, Kay, why didn’t ya say?
Why, what difference should it make?
What’re you gonna do? says Orla.
I haven’t been able to decide. It’s obvious I’m not fit to be a mother but my parents are against abortion.
Well I’m gainst it, but ah mean for me, ah don’t believe in it, ah do think it’s murder, a sin, but that’s for me, ah wouldn’t judge another girl, that’s for you to make up yur own mind, Michelle shrugged.
It’s a shame but it’s no a sin. Abortion, Orla insisted, lookin round.
Jesus, Mother of fucking Hell, went Chell, slowly shakin her head, lookin down at Manda’s Docs bought by Orla an on her feet.
Cause if that’s a mortal sin, all the stuff they say is, is, juss by having sexy thoughts it’s mortal sin, like we were saying the day. Whereas all am hopin is to be doin some mortal sins after four, Orla smiled.
Well, wear a condom, we say, goes Kay.
Aye here, goes Michelle, takin another out her pocket.
Its okay ah’ve got.
Look, ah think ah’ll get home, goes Kay.
Everyone looked at them. Fionnula sat still, her face long, an looked ahead.
Kay stood an shrugged.
Who was it then? goes Manda in a bored-pretended voice.
I wouldn’t of thought it would be you to ask that, says Kay.
Manda gave her a bad look.
Ask your sister, Manda. Your sister knows who I got pregnant with.
What the fuck’s ma sister to do wi it?
She’ll tell you somethin.
Fionnula coughed an goes, Am goin to walk her up the road, where are yous goin?
They all just looked at her.
When this place shuts am goin wait for the mail train to get in, then maybe be in the station buffet, ah’ll be round there sevenish cause if the guy turns up, he’s only here a few hours.
Look, just come up the house, don’t be floating around, I just need a shower an a sleep, Kay shrugged.
Ah’ll get your clothes in the wash, Kylah; tune the cello.
Aye, aye, look, if you okay I’ll come up themorrow or somethin.
The island bouncer came in, smiled at Manda an went over the bar.
Fionnula picked her bag an walked wi Kay to the door.
