Our Ladies, page 19
The curtain whipped aside an an older nurse was there, Can you be quiet and move out here now please. There are seriously ill people in this ward.
Fionnula looked up, This lassie’s no feeling too hot either.
This girl is drunk. There is a man having a heart attack over there.
Fionnula scowled dangerously, She was brought here in an ambulance unconscious an we’re juss going. Her dad’s a dead famous doctor ya know.
She’s been sick, she had too much to drink. This is a hospital, not a bar.
Well can you call us a taxi? We’re no from this place, ah mean I don’t have a clue whereabouts I am.
There’s a phone in reception though I doubt a taxi will be wanting to take anyone in that condition.
Look here you fuckin old boot, you’re a nurse, no a fuckin policewoman, fucking right this hole is a hospital an this lassie’s ill, an we’re leaving in a minute so quit terrorising her ya fucking ugly fat bastard, go on, get out our fucking sight ya, look that fuckin crucifix round yur neck, a fucking Jesuit, Kay eh, shoulda known, goan, fuck off FUCK OFF. Fionnula threw the wet towel at her but cause of her hunchedness over Kay, there was no aim an the paper touched the nurse’s shoulder an fell to the floor.
I’ll get security.
Get the fuckin queen see if ah care, ya fuckin bitch.
Kay spat on the floor an went, Fuck off a minute will you, an let me get on to feet.
The nurse was gone, Kay laughed an says, They really are overworked, we shouldn’t be shouting at them.
Ah fuck them, it’s no fucking BUPA, ma old man pays his taxes every month.
Where’s ma shoes? What’s the time?
It’s fucking twenty past six.
Oh Christ, I can’t sing like this.
Yes ya can, we can make it, ah don’t have a clue where the fuck we are, the ambulance went for fuckin miles, we’re on the fuckin outskirts, but you seemed to have enough money, we’ll phone a taxi. Ahm meant be in rehearsal at seven so ah’ve gotta go change, take off ma nail varnish, we can tidy you up a bit, here, Fionnula kneeled near the spewed-on lino an started putting Kay’s leather shoes on for her. Kay sat on the edge of the bed wi her face in her hands. Sometimes she chuckled then went sudden quiet.
Fionnula took her hand and helped her onto the floor.
Okay?
So so.
Take your time. I’ll just get the bags, Fionnula cooried, reached out an took the fallen wad of damp towels, used it to scrape the spew offof the back of her leg an the raised heel on her old platform shoes. She dropped the tissue on the floor an picked up both schoolbags, shouldered them on her left an linked wi Kay using her right arm.
Like she’s a hundred year old, thought Fionnula as they walked up the ward’s length, an says, Ah’ll phone a taxi. A younger nurse turned round and looked at them, she looked a second too long an Fionnula goes, Are you seeing enough?
Pardon?
Ah says are you SEEing enough? Then they had to turn to the left, Poor Orla, eh?
What?
Having to had been in these places, she pushed open the door an they were back in the waiting area where Fionnula’d been for ages. Just as they moved through, a guy was getting trundled past in a wheelchair, there was something up wi his foot, all blood guntering over the top of his white trainer on one foot.
Ooops, wonder what happened to him? Fionnula whispered.
I think I’m going to sick up again.
There’s the toilets, I need to phone. Here, you best get in uniform, she handed over the bag.
You got change?
Aye.
By the phone, Fionnula put her bag down between her feet while she waited for a woman to get off. Three orderlies were over at the door, one goes to Fionnula, Were your two frae that party over Burdiehoose.
Eh? goes Fionnula.
You an yur pal, were yous at that party?
Nut, goes Fionnula.
Yon classic wi the toe off was he from the party as well?
Nah, goes the-wee one.
What’s this? goes the fat one.
There’s a party down there, we’ve had a steady stream ah casualties aww day; boys caught in their zips, lassies hurt fightin, suspected overdoses; the lassies were saying they kept cawing the ambulances fae a box cross the road that they’d had Telecom come in an fix special, for convenience of folk cawing taxis an that, but in between … incidents, they’d gone out to caw again an the fuckin phone’d been vandalised. It sounds a fuckin riot down there, the orderly took out a wee sheaf paper, Look, ah made sure ah goat the address, um goan get some of the ward nurses an go straight down after the shift!
Can ah ask you something?
You can ask me anything.
Fionnula smiled, Where are we? Ah need call ah taxi.
Little France General Hospital, they’ll no take ya tho, specially after the toe job there, you’d be better goan down the bus-stop.
What do you mean?
Aww the taxi drivers are the fuckin sisters’ old men, it’s the sisters organise aww the taxis out here.
Aye, noone here gets out alive, he laughed.
Fionnula didn’t know what they were joked about an she dialled the big yellow taxi number above the phone.
Yes.
I’d like a taxi please at Little France General.
Yes. What department are you in?
Accident and Emergency.
Oh. Name?
McConnel.
Ah have McConnel down here as drunk and disorderly, two females.
What the fuckdye mean?
Hitherewhydoantyawatchyerlanguage.
Eh? Yous are a public service, how come you’ve lists of details like that, are you the secret service or something?
So you are drunk an disorderly?
No we’re not, an we need to be at the exhibition centre at seven. Ma friend had a violent reaction to food.
So what yur saying is, yur friend could be sick at anytime, an in a taxi it can take us an hour an a half to clean it out an get it back on the road again. A taxi can make a hunner pound in an hour.
Ah bet that’s the fare into town too! Ah mean this is bang outta order, this is unreal, are you saying yous as ah taxi company choose yur customers!
Aye. We’ve just taken a fare over to Casualty at Little France, toe cut off, pishing hooring blood all over an if that’s no bad enough, the dirty cunt gets down an does a shite on the taxi floor; an you’re telling me ah cannie choose ma customers.
Well fuck you! Fionnula slammed the phone down an muttered, Townie cunt. Hey, she called over to the orderlies, Can ah’ve a wee shot a pen?
Fancy goan a party later? the guy wi the address in his pocket flicked up a pen.
Eh, ah cannie no, sorry.
She phoned directory enquiries, wrote down two other taxi company numbers an phoned the first one, Hi ah need a taxi urgent down to exhibition centre.
All right, where are you?
Little France General, Accident an Emergency.
It’s no you that did the shite in the taxi is it?
Oh Christalmighty! Fionnula put the phone down an walked away.
Hoi can I have ma pen back?
Kay was both hands on a sink, throwing up into it. Spew clods had blocked the plug so’s each fresh a-boaking fell an splashed liquids onto her blousey thing an jacket.
What an image of Love, thought Fionnula, an says, Okay, we’ll have to take the bus.
I’d do anything for a toothbrush.
That might be a bit premature. Cmon, you’ve got to get changed. Condom’ll kill us if we’re caught in this. Your stuff in there? Go get changed; don’t lock the door. Ah don’t want you crashing out in there, no battering doors down.
Fionnula stepped into the cubicle next Kay; she didn’t shut door proper an it kept swinging inwards an she bopped it closeer. She changed into her school shoes last so’s no huffing to endure cold feet on unclean-feeling tiles through her tights.
Ya fit. Kay? she knocked the door an pushed it in a wee bit. Kay was stood, no tights, school shirt open, Fionnula looked at the longness from below Kay’s belly button up to the white, front-fastening bra (so no choir un-doings from behind) an above, on, the longness and flatness went, between the pointy breasts, complete up to the neck where it at last started to curve out over her throat that moved as she spoke. Fionnula thought, Iain an Catriona had that, an goes, Eh?
Am I white as driven snow? She was halfway up doing the buttons, face chuffa’d down at them wi no trace of double chin.
No. A bit lipstick would be an idea, yur a wee bit washed-out-looking. Fionnula stared as Kay packed stained clothes into her bag. She passed her blazer, as Fionnula took, metal donked gainst edge of the door: the Prefect badges, suddenly odd, like they come from a long time ago.
Kay crossed to the mirror, Look at the sick in my hair, oh God.
Best to leave till it’s total dry and crunchy then just brush it out.
Voice of experience? Kay managed a smile.
I haven’t had experiences you have, she handed her the blazer.
Kay looked wi brown eyes, This is one I’m trying to forget, she goes quietly, an she was putting on her lipstick. Fionnula had out a bottle nail-varnish remover an was scrubbing at her nails wi a grab of bog paper. Kay moved away an Fionnula suddenly felt hurt.
Smell of that, Kay smiled.
Oh sorry.
Kay was ducked into her bag an had out a little bottle of perfume. It was so small an probably expensive, Fionnula couldn’t make out a name on it.
Want?
Fionnula held out her arm, back of her hand up, Kay put the bottle in, underneath the arm on the wrist, where veins show, the fat glass neck pushed in on the pulse an together, in time, as Kay continued to press, looked in each other’s eyes, Fionnula twisted her arm, Kay keeping the bottle pressed on the wrist, above that clenched fist then lifting it smooth so one, two, three blobs hit the blue veins.
Don’t waste it on me … Kay righted the bottle an Fionnula massaged the perfume in an lifted her wrist to her nose, Oh lovely.
It’s Mum’s. I pinch it, syphon a bit into this.
What is it?
Don’t know, Dad got it for her in Italy.
How are you feeling?
I don’t think I can get on a bus.
No. Leave your tie till we get out of here. Ready?
The door of the Ladies opened and the orderlies saw what were now two schoolgirls, walk out the exit and down the driveway with its saddened shrubs. At the bottom of the driveway they turned right an were gone.
The bus-stop was on a long straight section of road. All the glass had been cunted out an little diamond piles shivered in among the hedging roots where it mustn’t of ah been no sweeped up.
Look at the time, goes Kay. It’s okay for me but your rehearsal starts at seven.
Ah know. An where the fuck’s all the buses then?
Are you sure it’s this side of the road? How do you know it’s not the other?
Fionnula looked down the road, Maybe we should walk a bit, if we got to a busier place there might be taxis about, then am saved.
Let’s walk down a little then, see what’s round that corner.
And begin to walk is just what they did, Fionnula keepin looking back over her shoulder, for as to a bus. Round the corner there was another long straight wi the appearance of files council housing off to the left.
If we could find a phone box, an the street name we could phone taxis fro somewhere in the estate here or maybe find out where we are.
Are you sure about it here?
Come on Kay, they speak English. Fionnula started down a street. A few of the houses seemed boarded up. Kay an Fionnula walked quiet, past a couple ah flat blocks an there were pint milk cartons out on the window sills.
Why are there pints of milk out on the window sills? goes Kay.
Manda’s dad used huff do that.
Why?
Keep it fresh. No fridge, Kay.
As they approached the end of the hill of tenements, Kay goes, Look, we’ll get a street name here. At the end, the street nameplate was missing, just a rusty stain showed where it had been. Sprayed on the pebbledash were the words, HIBS END OF THE STREET!
What does that mean?
Don’t know, went Kay.
They walked onwards, the sun was falling all over the way, so birds flying in the opposite direction of the two girls, above the telephone wires, seemed jet black gainst the clear sky. It was cooler in the shadows.
They passed a block spray-painted on the end in big pink letters were the words YOU ARE NOW ENTERING A DRUG FRIENDLY ZONE.
I think we should turn back. Fionnula? This place looks, rather dodgy.
Anything downmarket from a Barratt house an you’re calling it dodgy, Fionnula smiled at her so no to make it seem too nastyish.
Just then a helicopter went over, dead low, Don’t worry Kay, there’s the Barratt helicopter now, Fionnula laughed. Though clearly marked on the bottom of the chopper were the letters P O L I C E.
Up ahead there was a variation on what ya might call the dominant architectural style of the area. A block-like red brick place wi gold letters: The Broadsword on the side wall. There was someone outside: a restless-looking young man in a white T-shirt.
Fucksake lassies, nice, but ya might ah left the uniforms at home, ya know, like, it does ma image no good if am seen sellin to school kids … if someone got a photo or that, ah cannie even take yous in the foyer wi those togs, ach tae fuck. He looked both ways, Cmon just nip in a minute. He nodded to the door of the pub an vanished inside.
Don’t, Fionnula!
I just wanted to ask … Fionnula and Kay stepped after him into the carpeted foyer.
Fionnula goes, Ah just wanted to ask ya where we are an if we can call a taxi fro here? Kay was kinda looking at his arm tattoos.
Like ma tattoos? he smiled an tugged up one arm so’s you could see them, This one is Basi, one ah ma favourite designers, an this one … that’s the Armani logo … but get this, he tugged up the left sleeve an there was a rectangle logo wi a sorta compass in the middle wi the words Stone Island round an round it. He says, Stone Island, exact same as one of the labels, you know, ah was finding it expensive keeping up wi all the new stuff that was coming in, aw the labels ah like to wear, so’s a thought it’d be cheaper to just get the labels tattooed on. Permanent like! Now what’reya wantin? Es?
We’re no into drugs. Sorry. We’re …
There was a sound, Kay rushed her schoolbag up to her mouth, it was all unzipped and she spewed up into the bag, spat then zipped it closed.
Oi. Fuck! went the guy.
I didn’t want to ruin the carpet, Kay smiled weakly, wiped her mouth wi her blazer sleeve.
Ruin the carpet! Fuckin look at it lassie, see that over there, that’s a blood stain frae the night Gurrly Dobson goat fuckin stabbed. Pour it oot your bag! We piss on this carpet when we’re too wasted tae get to the bogs.
Yur fuckin clothes’ll be ruined Kay, that’s a beautiful skirt.
Mmm, doesn’t matter, look, I’ve to go outside.
Are yous two up on something? You must be, whatdye mean, ya don’t like drugs? Two fine young things like you, let me introduce you to some good ones.
Kay walked out an the door swung shut.
Look mister ah swear, we’ve got to be getting somewhere quick, all we need is a taxi, or some directions into town.
Into town? Straight up this way, take a right at the shop, left when you come to the big road, that’ll take you down The Toll, there’s buses and all sorts. Excuse me, but I think I’m passionately in Love with you, or your friend, or both of yous, ah don’t really have ma emotions about yous sorted out yet. Is there a chance I could ask you out tonight either, or both of yous?
No. I’m away the night.
Didn’t think I recognised the uniform. I’ll give you every drug on me for your phone number, he produced a pen. Fionnula smiled an right there, in the foyer of the Broadsword, she wrote down the name of the Port an the phone number of her parents on his arm.
He reached into his pocket. That is the most beautiful thing on ma arm an that’s a lovely part of the country, ah mind once …
Bye! goes Fionnula an she stepped out.
Well what a bargain, the guy says, on his own, in the foyer, That’s what ah like about the younger generation: a certain dignified restraint.
Kay was sat on a wall cross the road, her grim bag swung between her legs.
Yaokay?
Uhhuh.
Cmon, this way.
They hud gone straight up the way, taken a left at shops where a big group girls hanging outside, started to follow them. The girls looked bout fifteen an ventually one out-stepped Fionnula an stood afront her. Fionnula an Kay an all the girls stopped.
What fucking school are yous from?
Fionnula let out a big sigh.
Are you oan drugs, look the state of her, fuckin junkie.
She’s just out the hospital, twelve tequilas an a load of gin an vodkas. Look. Ah’ll square wi yous, sorry for being in yur patch but we’ve got to get into town, all our teachers are there an we got spewin drunk, she passes out an we ends up in Little France, Accident and Emergency; am mates with … your man at the Broadswords there, know what a mean? So we swung round to see him, now we’re just trying to get back cause your man’s, on business you know … ah just popped round to give him ma phone number, we’re no wanting trouble here, just be on our way after sayin hello. Cmon back an ask him if you want?
