Our Ladies, page 20
They’re mates wi The Man, one lassie muttered.
Shut up, goes the one wi the gold rings.
We’re gonna get killed if we don’t get down the road on the bus.
Ah don’t give a fuck, yous might get killed here, yous should be doggin it anyway, like us, stead of posin round here. You musta have plenty money for yon drinking.
Ah think that’s quite cool, leave um alone, Mary.
Shut it. Let’s see yur purses?
I don’t believe this, Kay moaned.
Show them yur bag Kay.
Aww fucksake! The girl wi the rings stood back, as Kay opened her bag an held it out.
Aww, mockit!
Told ya.
All my money’s in there, in the pockets, says Kay, Help yourself.
What about you?
Fionnula took out her purse an showed to the leader girl. The girl took out the single pound note an handed the purse back to her.
Let’s see in your bag.
Fionnula opened it an the girl ruffled, Mmm, you’re no ma size anyway. She coughed an handed the bag back. Got any fags?
Fionnula took out her packet, slipped free a cigarette an gave it to the girl then quickly lit it. She didn’t offer anyone else.
Keep em, goes Fionnula. The girl slipped the pack into her plasticky kagool.
Yous best be goin, the girl says.
Fionnula went to walk on an the girl stopped her. She held out the single pound note, and she looked round her gang to make sure the point struck home, Am givin yous this back, no cause am shittin it off The Man, but you’ll need it for bus fares.
Right, Fionnula nodded, hard as fuck an did a singular chew at an imaginary bit gum.
Say hello tae The Man frae Mary McNiven, right?
Aye.
The girl moved aside an Fionnula stepped on, the single pound note still held in her fingers. Kay zipped in behind her an followed. They walked on without turning back, Kay goes, God, I almost died of fright. You were quick with your wits there.
Fionnula growled quietly then muttered, Um goan come back here an bite her fuckin nipples off. No one fuckin tries rob me.
Kay went quiet.
They would have killed me if you hadn’t been there. Did you see their faces at my bag of spew! They both laughed.
Ach, they don’t kill anyone. Just wee lassies. Just didn’t have time to fight.
Fionnula? Did you give your number to that drug guy? He was frightening.
He was honest, Fionnula smiled.
You did?
Why? Kay turned to her. I didn’t ask the doctor to marry me! Jealous? She smiled.
Kay looked back, very pale.
I wish you were, Fionnula suddenly says. She grit her teeth, faced front an kept walking.
Kay says nothing, then goes, Where are we? We’re not going to make it for you at seven, we’ll be lucky to make it for eight. I mean where in hell are we?
Ah don’t know, I think we missed it. They came to a bigger road but it led off to the left, not the right. Private cars sped round it. Then in the distance, they could see the castle, last of the sun tamling its heights and huge marmalade screes of cloud way over behind it, startin to fill a sky wi colour. Fionnula says, There’s the castle, this is a big road, it’ll lead us straight in, but as what way to go then ahm none the wiser, we need a map or something. We’ve got to keep going; that’s life.
So they did keep going, on up the road replete wi private cars cushing by but nothing in the way of public transport.
Christ Kay, goes Fionnula, to keep her spirits up, If we do get a taxi, it’s goan cause a rumpus when the driver finds we’ve only money at the bottom of a bag a spew. Awful touchy about taxi cleanness in this city, she chuckled.
And on and on, till they came to a roundabout, the grass at its sides muddied, the high arc lamps already on, despite the generosity of the evening light, an the cars jostlin round, beepin and fightin all in a hurry to get to where an why, an it was possibly one of the ugliest places in the land, for these girls who came from a town, hunched round a harbour like a classical amphitheatre, where the ocean grew still in a trapped bay an the mountains of the islands seemed to hang in the skies of summer nights and in November the sea turned black while salt gathered in the window corners of even the furthest-back houses. An even though Fionnula’s family was hidden up the back, in the dip of land where history put council housing, away fro the Victorian resort villas, even there, was saving grace of the skies where clouds would always, move faster than anywhere these girls would ever travel to and where the dying light of day would falter in the slow-moving coal-fire smoke above where owls an foxes moved in the grey-black woods of the shelterin hills, hundreds of feet above the bus-stops.
There was an absurd council seat, that presented the southerly view across the roundabout, Kay dropped the bag of spew an flopped down.
I’m sorry Fionnula, I’m sorry, just a breather. We’re lost, aren’t we? It’s my fault you’re going to miss the rehearsal. Drinking like that. I’m an asshole.
Kay. It was fun. It was a laugh. Think how we’ll look back on it. We’ll get there for eight. I’ll be in the deepest shit you can imagine but we’ll get there for eight. Fionnula sat by her.
It’s my fault though. I’m crazy.
You’re not crazy.
Kay says, Fionnula, I’ve got the fat belly.
What?
I’m pregnant.
The traffic circled the roundabout. They were really saying these words wi a good bit loudness.
She looked at Fionnula. It was dusking out now and you could see the whites of their eyes but the brownness was black, same as some of the lurking bushes of the landscaping ahind her.
Fionnula opened her eyes and mouth wide, says, By Iain. By Iain you are pregnant cause of the night wi him and Catriona. The way she had says it: obviously not questions. She was speaking out these things to try and bring them clear into the world, the way a baby would come or an aborted foetus would hit air. But. Jesus, have you told your folks?
No.
Have you told … ?
I’ve only told you. Ana-Bessie wouldn’t be able to handle it, I thought about going to Catriona but …
Jesus, Kay … fuck … how long?
About nine weeks. I was at a place today, a clinic place for abortions. That was a lie about looking at rooms. I’m … I was going to apply for halls of residence. It’s just, my parents are such bloody Catholics, they’re dead against abortion. Even with Dad a consultant, but he’s in some pro-life pressure group in the profession, yet … all these tears came into her black eyes and they caught the arc lamps as soon as they pushed out, an they were, in their way, quite beautiful. Her voice was steady tho, This would break their hearts, an I’m so expected to go to university … she shook her head and looked, hopelessly, at a yellow cement mixer circling the roundabout. And peeling off in the city centre direction.
Look Kay. Now, you want to get rid of the baby. Or you feel you have to get rid of it for university?
I don’t know anymore. I mean, I don’t want a baby, what can I do with a baby? It’s a total disaster, my whole life is a total disaster just in two months it’s gone crazy. And drinking an smoking like this with a wee baby in me, she burst out a sob.
Shush, goes Fionnula.
I was drinking and smoking like that today, to make myself have to have an abortion, acting as if I’ve already decided to get rid of it but … I know I haven’t made up my mind, I’m denying it. I’ve done an awful bad thing and I should pay for it.
KAY that’s just more Catholic bullshit, like your mum and dad. You’ve done nothing wrong … it’s just baddest fuckin luck … Fionnula reached out and that was it … she took the hand; was it the left or the right? Fionnula will never ever remember, and Kay’s head just went right down on Fionnula’s blazered shoulder and the crying came and came as Fionnula, numbed, put the arm around her, realised she was hers for the taking but shivered, stared out cross the ridiculous roundabout. God had delivered the girl to Fionnula. Look at the cost, ahm going to fuck her, just a matter of time, but what Fionnula felt was anger, not anger at Iain or Catriona, not anger at Kay’s folk, not even anger at their absurd religion, but anger at the sky and the roundabout and the whole charade that puts a young, lovely girl, lost in a city; unknown as to what she really wants an too lonely to imagine. Fionnula was seething that the big jigsaw was meant to fall at random into any old picture but why The Perpetual was just pain, pain, pain, Orla witherin away or drowned fathers an a so-called family tree more like a straight stick of Chell.
Kay, cmon it’ll be okay.
For all my parents being posh and Pulpit Hill, you tease, but now I’m just like Michelle or any others this year.
I know honey, we’ve no right. Kay, know it doesn’t help but I admire you, you’ve really gone for it, and no one can take that away from you an keepin this to yourself; that takes nerves of steel. You’re braver than ah ever could be. Come on. We need to get goin. And it’s then, it’s then she feels it in her left hand cause her right one has gone over, other side of Kay, an is rubbing up an down Kay’s arm, squeezing the odd time when a bad sob comes an she can feel the crown of her head, pushed in at her neck, hair all compressed an Fionnula has even girned her eyes tight shut just for a jiffy, suddenly not sure if this touching will make it easier to take Kay’s face in her hands and kiss her and understand she is transgressin what is fair, much more than Catriona, an Iain, on that night that Fionnula’ll always be trying to better. There’s something in her hand and wi her arm still round the pregnant girl, she’s kneading it an remembers it’s the pound note, an she rubs its greasyness wi her thumb. Fionnula breathes in an swings the arm off Kay who straightens an rightaways rubs up at her eyes. It feels horrible to peel away from the realness of Kay, an Fionnula is unfolding the pound note in her two hands now an she sees what it is an she says, Kay! in a bright voice and there, in the evening light it’s JL McAdam hisself … inventor of the tarmacadamed road an there is his face on the pound note beside the grid of streets, the layout of the main streets of the capital city!
It’s a map!
And so, with the pound note folded out in her palm, then clutched safe in her fist, arm in arm bumping thegether wi Kay’s tired movements, the two girls traverse through the thoroughfares and boulevards, the map on the money leading them back to the place of their appointment.
That Taken Glow
Manda an Chell walked into the police station, two shoulder bags an Chell an Kylah’s French Connection each. The Pig looked up fro the Evening News, Hello. Again.
We’d like to report a theft, went Chell.
I’m sure you would, is it something you have stolen or have you actually been the victims of … theft?
I BEG your pardon, goes Chell.
Is it something you are confessing to stealing or have you yourself had something stolen?
Manda turned to Chell an goes, I thought you says he’d help us!
Shush. I don’t like your attitude sergeant, we’re here to report a theft.
Not from the pick n mix section of Woolworth? Or not knives and towels from British Home Stores?
What are you talking about?
Would I be correct in supposing you’re from the school called Our Lady of Perpetual … he looked down at a sheet of paper … Succour?
In a hushed way, Chell goes, How do you know?
Just a hunch, nodded The Sniff.
Quieter now, Chell goes, We’ve had, some clothing stolen, and we thought we should report it but, eh, maybe we won’t bother.
Oh really. Did you want a signed receipt for insurance purposes? Versace was it, a few Gucci handbags and a Leica camera? Why don’t I just give you a receipt and you can fill it out yourselves, consult some of the shop windows on Princes Street!
A para polisman! Manda giggled, looked at him an says, You’re like John Cleese.
Chell goes, A man stole our school uniforms.
The Plod stared at them.
We weren’t wearing them at the time, Manda suggested wi a real innocent helpfulness.
Hush, snapped Chell. She doesn’t mean anything was going on at the time, Chell added.
Who was this man? asked the Flatfoot.
His name was Danny, where did you meet him? Manda turned to Chell.
We met him in the Highland Club, announced Chell.
What! goes Manda.
Oh! goes The Filth.
You never told us you met him there! Manda shouted.
What’s the matter? Yous never asked.
What the fuck were you doing there! Manda yelled.
We went to phone a taxi, when YOU, she pointed at The Scum, Wouldn’t help us book a taxi.
It’s only for men in there, Chell.
There were loads of lassies in there!
No wonder. It’s a brothel, Chell!
Eh?
It’s a brothel, ya silly cow.
Don’t call me a silly cow!
Hoi HOI! shouted the copper, This is too much! Now a whole bunch of lassies from your school have been trooped in an out here all afternoon. Did your best to clean out the pick n mix counter at Woolies then it was down to BHS where yous took whatever you could, kitchen knives, towels whatever. All of it on the security cameras. Now the ladies … the nuns from your school have been absolutely frantic, so I suggest you forget about all this and get up to the exhibition centre now, before you get into any more trouble.
Shoplifting, brilliant! goes Chell, That’s just fantastic, it’s no just us that’re in the shite then.
Aye but we’ve still had our uniforms nicked, goes Manda, Ah’ve lost a kilt an tie to an extreme an dangerous pervert who’s loose in your city.
Come on, we’ll just have to face the music.
Ah hope we do get expelled. No ways I can ask Dad for money, how am ah goan tell him ah lost my kilt?
Least you’ve got your shirt.
Nae use without a tie, snapped Manda.
Ladies, ladies, the fashion discussion outside unless you want me to take down details of the theft.
He’s no exactly likely to hand it in, is he? Walk in with all these stained clothes at a polis station, ah mean he had ma knickers on his head!
Le Couchon automatically glanced down at Chell’s legs an she caught his glance.
Chell goes, Ah yur okay, ah’ve got ma leopardy tanga on.
Manda burst out in the hysterics.
The Snoop went a brasser of redness.
Kylah sat listening to Orla in McDonald’s, casionally squinting over the top floor tables. Orla (braces in) says, He’s coming up on the mail train, am goan meet him at the station when it gets in at four.
Really think he’ll come?
Aye.
What there’s guys fro the submarine in the Mantrap?
Well that’s supposin any of us get in, an supposin the sailors are there an supposin any are cute and supposin any of them would go for me.
But you’d consider pulling twice in the day?
Normally anytime but the night? No. No ways. Ah’ve asked him to come up an it wouldn’t be good to copoff wi another. An ah know for a fact he might be into stuff I am.
Kylah made a slurp noise in her drained Coke, Like what? She leaned elbows on the table.
Juss stuffff, Orla raised her eyebrows. Stuff I want to try. Getting tied up an that.
Kylah leaned back an laughed, Getting tied up at four in the morn, that’s mental? What else are ya gone do?
Ah know I can stay at Fionnula’s or Chell’s or yours an that’s great, though, ah dont like being round your brother’s cause ah get so embarrassed, but if yous go home ah might stay up wi him all night, walk to the castle at Christiansands, watch the sunrise … if it’s no pishing wi rain. An don’t forget, station buffet’s open at six these days so we could go sit there. He says he’ll have to get the early train back out and down here for his … work.
That’s so romantic. You’ve got That Taken Glow bout you already.
That what?
That Taken Glow a girl gets when shes into a guy. It makes girls more attractive to other guys too.
Nah.
Ah swear it. Like yur no going wi anyone, no one asking you out, then one guy asks ya out an he’s nice an yur sorta thinkin about him an then five or six guys are all asking ya out cause you’ve got That Taken Glow. Quite amazing really, an ya wish they could just all ah asked ya out, nice an steady, one after the other. Maybe wi gaps between. Life is never ordered like that, Kylah squinted at her watch. They’d already took their nail varnish off but Chell an Manda seemed to be cutting it a bit fine wi the uniforms an they had Kylah’s bag of French Connection clothes too.
What happened wi you an the band then, Chell says something?
Oh Orr, we were totally mashed an ah decided leave them. Ah phoned them up from this pub full of old men; ahm no too sure bout it now, it was sorta, cause we were getting out of money an the boys had gave me all this cash for CDs and ah went and never bought any, an me an Chell took all THEIR money an spent it on drink an those clothes fro French Connection. Now am sobering up the old guilties are starting, ah! Kylah screwed up her eyes, Is this the dirty tarts? Aye, YA SHAG THEM THEN? Kylah yelled. A couple fathers fro family groups turned an stared over but Kylah couldn’t see them.
No smiling at all. Schoolbags hanging fro their each shoulders an those French Connection bags danglin near the ground, Manda an Chell moved through the fluorescent tables towards them.
Hurried-wise, Manda skimmered into the slidy seat, gaspin, slidin the bags way under the table an goes, Yur fuckin uniforms’ve been nicked!
Oh, nice one, Kylah put her finger up to the contact lens-less eye an tug-tugged down at the skin, We really believe ya.
It’s right enough Kylah, am sorry, goes Chell.
All four girls stared at each other.
Dead gen? goes Orla.
What about ma French Connection stuff? went Kylah.
It’s all here, it was strictly school uniforms he was into. In a hushed drama-y voice, Manda looked at Orla an goes, We’re no fucking joking, these two met him when they were hanging about in a fucking BROTHEL, yon one ah pointed out to ya, they fuckin thought it was a pub!
