Sweet Madness, page 7
Then, suddenly, every image of Ellaiza Kenton smiling back at me with stars in her eyes flashes through my mind, hitting me all at once. Once again, I find myself struggling to breathe. What the hell is wrong with me?
More images hit me.
Ella at the clothing store, dressed from head to toe in pink with cowboy boots and a smile on her face.
Ella munching on pink macaroons and chocolate cupcakes.
Flowers.
The color pink.
Happiness.
Her.
So kind and pure, even when I hurt her with my careless attitude and angry words. Not once did she lose control, hurled insults my way, or acted like a royal brat.
Shit.
I messed up.
Her sad smile haunted me until I can’t fucking take it anymore.
Then an idea pops into my head—a pretty fucking stupid one.
“See you later, boy.” I scratch Peppermint’s mane. He grunts, as if asking where I’m headed. I must be losing my mind. I’m talking to a fucking horse. Yet, I answer him anyway because something about Peppermint has always soothed my soul. “I’m going to make a fool out of myself just to make the sweet heiress smile again. Wish me fucking luck.” With that, I head out of the stables and make my way into town.
And all the way there, all I can think about is young Ella sharing her favorite treat with me and offering me her friendship. “We friends now, Shaw Bear.”
My words and attitude hurt the girl—the girl who is no longer so little but has the same big heart.
Dammit.
The first stop I make instantly makes me regret leaving the ranch as soon as I step inside the tiny, colorful store. Billy’s Blooms. A place filled with cheerful voices, loud country music, and a hippie-looking girl who loves poking her pointy nose into my business whenever she catches me around town.
I’d rather not go inside—her cheerfulness can be too much to handle. But it’s the only one in town, so I guess I have to suck it up and get out of here as quickly as possible without hurting another girl’s feelings with my sour mood and shitty attitude.
“No way. Are my eyes seeing what they think they are?”
Yeah, I’m regretting this already.
“Billy,” I greet.
“Well, if it isn’t none other than Shaw Banning.” Billy Bloom—yes, that’s her legal name given to her by her equally cuckoo but very lovable mother, Sunny Bloom—stands behind the counter, which is covered from one end to the other in flower arrangements. Business is always booming since it’s the only flower shop in town. Mother and daughter run it together along with two other businesses.
The petite blonde with her hair cascading in long waves, smiles wickedly. Happiness radiates from her, much like it once did from Ella. “What a pleasant surprise,” she laughs joyfully. “I must confess, I never thought I’d see you inside my shop,” she grins as if she knows something I don’t. “Must be that girl, huh!” she claps excitedly.
The fuck…
The background music abruptly stops, and I notice several women whispering among themselves, their gazes fixed on me.
This is why I hate leaving the ranch. This fucking town is as happy and welcoming as can be, but the people here do love to gossip.
My instincts are on high alert as I try not to give anything away about my client.
Then something on the wall catches my attention—a small TV. There, Ellaiza’s face is plastered on the screen while some lady talks in the background. Undoubtedly, more gossip and conspiracy theories are swirling around her disappearance.
I need to deal with that before it blows up and makes guarding her more difficult. Maybe she should post on her social media as if nothing is going on. That might get them to stop and move on to the next hot and vain topic.
“Golden boy.” Billy’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn away from the TV and look at her again.
Golden boy. How I hate that name. She’s not the only one who calls me that. Most people in town do. My cousin, Ben, used to call me “Golden Boy” when we were younger, and everyone else picked up on it, feeling like they had a right to do so.
I don’t say shit. I never do.
Breathing through my nose, I lean forward and then say through gritted teeth, “Can you keep a secret, Bloom?”
No, she can’t.
Her green eyes sparkle as if the idea of a shared secret between us makes her happy. The girl is too kind for this world, I admit.
“I need flowers.”
“I guessed that,” she smirks.
Clearing my throat, feeling uncomfortable as fuck, I try again. “What flowers do you suggest?”
“It depends,” she says, leaning back with a serious expression crossing her face.
“Depends on…?” I lean back, raising a questioning brow.
“How bad you messed up, I guess.” Billy shrugs.
She’s kind and smart—too smart.
I sigh and ponder for a moment. Maybe a moment too long, because the next thing I know, Billy leaves her spot behind the counter and stands next to me.
“When you think of her, what color comes to mind?”
Ella’s face flashes through my mind, and a warm sensation spreads through my chest.
Another long moment passes before I speak. “Pink,” I mumble, feeling annoyed.
“Pink is good. This is good. We can work with pink. Now, we’re getting somewhere.” Billy then moves toward my right and stops next to a table with dozens of pink roses. Shit. There’s more. “And what word would you say best describes her?”
“Sweet. Sweet and too damn kind,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck, feeling even more irritated than when I arrived.
“Bingo!” Billy says happily. “And we have a winner.”
I watch as she picks brown paper and pink ribbons, then I stand back in silence as she works her magic.
After a while of just watching, I ask, “Why those?”
I know why she chose them. I also know who supplies her with the lovely flowers. I do.
Billy doesn’t look away from what she’s doing but answers me anyway. “Pink tulips are known for meaning affection, caring, good wishes, and love.” I cough at that, but before I can get a word in, she interrupts. “And you, my friend, need all the luck you can get.”
“What makes you think that?” I ask curiously, feeling too damn exposed.
“You haven’t set foot inside this store since, well… never. But here you are, and a man only buys flowers for a woman when he’s in love or when he’s messed up. Trust me, I know.” Her eyes turn sad, and her whole happy demeanor shifts.
I know that expression. That’s the face of a girl who has been hurt.
“Someone hurt you, Billy?”
The question makes her smile, but it’s a smile that resembles the ones Ella Kenton has given me since she arrived—sad smiles. Fake smiles.
“Haven’t we all been hurt once or twice?” she says softly, just before handing me the perfectly crafted bouquet. “Here you go, Shaw.”
I want to ask her more, unsettled by how quickly her mood has shifted, but I hold back. Who am I to question anything when she’s right? We’ve all been hurt and will most likely be hurt again more than once in life. It’s inevitable. Trust me, I would know.
Instead, I ask, “How much do I owe you?”
She waves me off. “It’s on the house, Golden Boy. It’s always nice to see a man willing to grovel.” She chuckles, and the ladies behind me seem to swoon along with her. “So dreamy…” she adds.
I shake my head at her dramatics. Reaching inside my back pocket, I take a couple of bills and drop them in her tip jar before heading for the exit.
“Hey, that’s too much!” she calls out after me.
“See you around, Billy.”
Then I leave the store, ready to climb inside my truck when I see a tiny shop that looks like the color pink vomited all over it. There’s a huge pink macaroon on top of it next to a sign that reads, Sunny’s Sweets.
I smile at that. Not a very clever name, yet it’s catchy—just like the owner.
Another thought pops into my head, and I sigh heavily, feeling exasperated. Turn around, Shaw. Get in the damn car and drive back to the ranch.
Do I do that?
No. What I do is drop the flowers on the back seat of my truck and head in the direction of the pastry shop. I’m going mad. There’s no doubt about that.
Space Note
“Did you know that Saturn has the second largest moon in the solar system? It’s called Titan. You’re my Titan.” - E
Chapter
Seven
DADDY, I’M OKAY
Ella
“Sometimes in life, you have to close the door on something that hurts so another door can open. The door that leads to happily ever after.” — E
“You know, sometimes people say stupid things when they’re scared, right?” My cousin Willow uses sign language to communicate, looking so sad that it makes my heart ache. We’ve been video chatting for less than ten minutes, and she’s already managed to get me to spill everything to her.
Everything that was said by Shaw and how it made me feel.
My younger cousin’s mass of wild, light brown curls—-the same shade as her fathers’— frames her face, making her look ethereal and angelic. But what makes Willow even more beautiful in my eyes is the warm light that shines from within her. There’s no one like her in this world. At least not in mine. That’s why, when I have a bad day and don’t want to worry my parents, she’s the first person I call. Her sweet aura makes me feel like maybe not all is so bad.
Like now.
It’s been a whole day since I last saw the grump who has taken permanent residence in my head. Part of me is still mad at him for the harsh way he spoke to me, but honestly, I’m more embarrassed than angry.
I know I shouldn’t take it personally. He’s right. I’m not his friend; I’m just his client, and I need to come to terms with that, even though it hurts my heart. I had hoped we could at least be friends, but he doesn’t see me that way anymore, and we’re not who we once were.
Time has passed, and the bond we created during that year of my life is no longer there.
Was it ever?
“Scared?” I sign at the same time I speak out loud. “Why would a six-foot-four man who looks like the god of thunder himself if he had a ranch in Montana be afraid of me?” That can’t possibly be it. The Shaw Banning I knew back then was fearless—fearless and strong as an entire army. I don’t think time has changed that.
“Ella,” my cousin signs at the same time she presses her gorgeous face to her computer screen, taking over my entire screen. I laugh at that.
“Low…”
“Remember what my dad always says?” She raises a thin eyebrow.
Uncle Riagan says many things. Some things are hilariously crude, some sweet and inspiring, but most of what my uncle says comes from a place of love. Always.
Leaning back in my seat, I let out a deep breath, feeling defeated. “I don’t think that’s the case here, Low.”
“Even grown men are afraid of wild hearts.” Willow smiles softly as she signs the words her father once told us when my other cousin, Raiza, asked if he was afraid of anything in this world. Willow’s dad had said that the only person he feared in this world was my Aunt Mila. He had explained that she was the only person who could ever hurt him.
Could it be true?
Is Shaw Banning afraid of me?
“Perhaps he’s afraid of what you represent…” A thought suddenly pops into my head, taking me by surprise. Is that why he was so dismissive and angry yesterday? Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it.
Maybe I’m just a silly girl… wanting to think that it is more than what it really is.
A movement on my screen snaps me out of my thoughts, and I focus on my cousin once again. My heart feels heavy now, but for a different reason. As I glance at Willow, I notice the sadness in her eyes, and then I see the dark circles underneath them.
“Is it the kids at school again?” I whisper, but I sign for her as well.
She shrugs.
So, it is the stupid kids again.
Dammit.
She won’t tell Uncle Riagan or Aunt Mila. This is the third school they’ve transferred her to in less than two years, and the last time it happened, Uncle Riagan threatened to visit every kid who had ever hurt his little girl’s heart, while Aunt Mila suggested homeschooling. I know my cousin, and she worries too much—maybe even more than I do.
I need to do something, but what? How do I tell her parents without making her feel like I didn’t respect her choice? She’s an only child and has only her parents in Philadelphia. She has no one to have her back while in school. I had my siblings to help me get through the hard teenage years. Raiza has her brother, Azariel, but not Willow. She had her foster brother for a while, but that didn’t end well.
So, until I find a way to help, I’ll do what she does for me. I’ll be her safe place.
“You know your voice is as beautiful as you, Low. There’s no one, and there’ll never be anyone quite like you.” I hope my words make her feel better. I’ve never felt hatred before, not even towards people who have hurt me or my family, because I believe in forgiveness. But lately, with Willow, I can’t seem to shake off the anger I feel towards the world we live in—a world where people with rarity are mocked and hurt instead of celebrated. My cousin is perfect as she is. She’s smart, funny, sweet, but most of all… Willow is a rare soul. A kind one who has so much love in her heart, not only for her people but for those who don’t have anyone to love them.
You see… Willow loves broken things. She doesn’t love them because she’s obsessed with fixing them, no. She finds beauty in people, things, and animals that aren’t perfect. She’s that sweet. So, it hurts me. It hurts me and angers me how someone can be so cruel as to mock her for something she has no control over.
My aunt Mila had complications during childbirth. The air wasn’t reaching Willow and they had to do an emergency C-section. The lack of air and the trauma contributed to hearing loss. She uses cochlear implants and is able to detect and understand sounds.
Still, she believes her voice is ugly after a bad experience at school with a bully.
Anger simmers in my belly, but I breathe through it and try to calm myself, not wanting to worry her.
My eyes catch the white and red poster on her wall. A poster of her favorite F1 driver, someone my little cousin once cared a lot for. I guess that’s why Willow and I gravitate towards each other more than my siblings and a bit more than with Raiza.
We both know what unrequited love feels like.
She too surrendered her heart when she was too young to understand what true love was.
Life has reunited me with the one man who’s ever made me feel like I could fly, the same can’t be said for Willow.
Maybe he’s just one chapter in her book, or maybe it’s not their time.
Only time will tell.
A slight buzzing sound lets me know that there’s an incoming video call from my father.
“Have I ever lied to you, Low?” I ask my cousin.
She shakes her head, looking adorable yet still so sad.
“Then believe me when I say there’s no one like you, and that’s what bothers them. Those kids are all bland. They don’t shine, and if you believe their words, then you’re allowing them to steal your shine. Don’t let them win. Aunt Mila never did.” I sign while staring straight at her, not paying attention to Dad’s video chat request. I’ll call him back as soon as I know Willow is okay.
“One day everyone will be kind,” she signs, looking so much like her mother at that moment that it brings a smile to my face. Aunt Mila reminds me of the sun, while my mom and Aunt Kadra remind me of the moon and the stars. They all shine equally and just as beautifully, but there’s something about Aunt Mila that makes everyone feel like they’re basking in the sun when they’re around her. There’s never a dull moment with her, and to me, Willow is just like that. I hope one day she sees herself the way I do. But until that happens, I’ll keep reminding her.
With a bright smile on my face and my heart less heavy, I repeat the words we were constantly told by Willow’s mom while growing up. “One day, Low.” After ensuring she’s no longer as sad as she was when we first started chatting, we bid our goodbyes with plans to talk soon. She hangs up and I call Dad back.
I glance at myself in the mirror to ensure I look okay, not wanting to worry him. Then, I press accept and wait for the chat to connect. As soon as it does, the most handsome man over forty appears on screen.
Sebastian Kenton is not only the best father a girl could ever ask for but also the best man I’ve ever known. He has the most stressful job in the world, and yet he manages to come home to his wife and kids every day and be our champion and our safety net.
Pushing my notebook and colorful highlighters aside, I lean forward on the desk to get closer to my father, even if it’s through a screen. I make a mental note to continue with my assignment and school schedule after I’m done chatting.
I’m already behind after deciding to switch majors from criminal law to astronomy. I made sure to reach out to the university and my professors. Thankfully, my professors understand my situation—or at least what they think is going on. I couldn’t exactly tell them that I had to leave D.C. and relocate to another state because there was a stalker after me and my family. I’m also pretty sure Uncle Benjamin had a hand in making this transition a lot smoother. I wouldn’t put it past him to threaten anyone who could compromise my safety.
Whatever the case, I’m grateful I finally have the chance to do something for myself—something I love. Now, I just need to find the right time to tell my father that I no longer wish to follow in his footsteps.
But judging by the look of things, today doesn’t seem like the day. Despite how handsome he still is, my father has dark circles under his eyes.
