Sweet Madness, page 6
Okay, I get it. I went overboard, but come on. I look good. From my soft pink cowboy hat, white tight crop top, skin-tight jean shorts, and sparkly pink cowboy boots.
His words from a second ago come to mind. That’s too much pink…
Blasphemy.
I gasp dramatically and narrow my eyes playfully at him. “Take that back, grump.” I take a step closer, while he takes two steps back.
I follow him until he hits the bright yellow wall behind him.
Gotcha.
Pointing my finger up at his face, I clarify, “There can never be too much pink.” Pink is the most magical of colors. Pink has always evoked feelings of comfort, warmth, and hope for me. The color has always made me smile.
The man is completely oblivious to what he’s saying. Absolutely clueless.
Out of nowhere, something that feels like pink happens. Again.
Shaw’s upper lip twitches momentarily—so fleeting that I almost miss it. Almost.
He smiles.
Well, it’s something close to a smile before he gets a hold of himself.
Bummer.
Yet this time, the almost-smile lasts a second longer than the last.
Thank God for small victories, I guess.
“Are you done?” He clears his throat, looking a bit flustered. Huh. Interesting.
My proximity affects him just as much as he affects me. That’s one more point in my favor.
The silence envelops us, the cozy ambiance of the boutique and the bustling noise of the staff fading into the background as I find myself lost in brown eyes that make it difficult to catch my breath.
Time stops, and everything that hurt me yesterday seems to fade away as Shaw Banning looks down at me. At that moment, fractures of the people we used to be come to the surface to greet each other—the man who smiled with his entire face and the little girl who used to collect the stars for him each night.
As if snapping himself out of the trance we’re both under, he sidesteps me and quickly grabs a pink dress with small watermelons on it, gently tossing it to me and catching me off guard.
One second, he’s hot; the next, he’s cold; and the next… he reveals the man I used to know, even if it’s just for a brief second.
Holding the pretty dress, he chose closer to my chest, I nod, making my curls bounce with the movement. “I’m ready to go.”
Someone clears their throat, interrupting us. Shaw and I turn to find the saleslady staring at me a little too closely. For a second, I forget who I am to the world. Only for a moment, and all because of him.
The saleslady smiles and then walks behind the counter to murmur something to her coworker. They both glance at their phones and then at me.
Busted.
It was nice not being me, even if only temporarily.
But then, not wanting to sour the moment, I ignore the women as an idea pops into my head.
“Hey, Shaw,” I say, giving the salesladies my back and focusing only on my bodyguard.
“Yes?” He reaches behind his back to grab his wallet and glances back at me.
I give him a smile that has trouble written all over it. “Can we make another stop?”
The big grump narrows his eyes, looking suspicious, but after a minute that feels like a lifetime, he gently nods before turning back to the overly flirtatious women and handing one of them his credit card.
Five minutes later, Shaw has bags filled with clothes in both hands and his perpetual scowl on his face as he guides me out of the tiny store towards our next stop.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
Shaw
The moment the girl bats her eyelashes at me and asks if we can make another stop before we head back to the ranch, I should say no.
But I don’t, and now we’re here.
“So… how do I look?” The little vixen flips her hair and smiles shyly over at me.
It should be a fucking crime what she just did.
Her once-long raven curls are gone, now they fall just above her breasts, adorned with subtle pink highlights woven into the dark strands.
Biting down hard, I feel my fucking molars shake with the force. I suppress the urge to tell her just how pissed off I am that she did this.
And what a fucking mess that would that be.
I have no right to care, and I shouldn’t. I should only be focused on her fucking safety, but I do care.
In under two days, this petite terror with a dazzling smile and eyes that could dismantle my defenses has already push me to question my sanity.
She caught me off guard again. That rarely happens, yet she’s done it more than once now.
When I notice that my silence unsettled her enough to make her smile fade, I decide to speak. “Let’s go.” Then I turn my back and silently pray to whoever is willing to fucking listen to a man like me that the weeks will fly by or that the fucking freak after her family would be dealt with— whichever came first.
“You know… Shaw Bear. I don’t remember you being this much of a…” She stops mid-sentence.
“A what?” I bark, feeling a little too much.
“A drag.” She makes a face that should make her look ugly, but it does the opposite. The girl looks adorable as fuck. I don’t think anything could ever make me think of Ella Kenton as ugly, and that’s a problem for me.
A big fucking problem.
Taking a deep breath, I turn around to face her. Locking eyes with her, I feel a flicker of something unfamiliar—like flames dancing across my skin whenever her blue eyes meet mine. What the hell is this feeling?
But before I can figure out what the feeling is, I decide to do what I always do
Fuck shit up by being a miserable fuck.
“Listen carefully, Miss Kenton. I’m here to protect you, not to be your friend. These pathetic attempts to get me to relate to your spoiled brat struggles or bond in any way are pointless. Save yourself the embarrassment and me the annoyance; let’s keep this strictly professional.” The second those harsh and cruel words escape my lips, regret consumes me. Damn it, I regret them. I might be an asshole, but that’s no excuse for being cruel to her. She doesn’t deserve it. She hasn’t done anything wrong.
I open my mouth to undo the damage, but it’s too late. The sadness in her eyes quickly vanishes, replaced by a forced smile. I don’t know why, but it stings—like a rusty dagger piercing my chest.
But instead of breaking down or cowering like most people do when I act like a bastard, she lifts her chin and hardens her gaze, looking like a replica of her father. Angry. Annoyed. Shit. Disappointed. “As you wish, Shaw…” Her pretty blue eyes look vacant. The light that had been shining so brightly is now gone. “But just so you know, the next time you speak to me with so little respect, I’ll give the same energy back. I don’t ever want to pull out the boss card, not with you. Never with you, but don’t test me. You won’t like it.” With that angry parting statement, she turns and leaves me standing there feeling like I am six inches tall.
I deserve it. I lost control and snapped at her when she’s done nothing wrong. She’s only trying to make the best of an uncomfortable situation.
Shit.
As I watch her exit the boutique, her words replay in my mind, and guilt claws at me. But there’s something else too—something that is messing with my head.
Her angry words did things to me. At that moment, I saw another side of Ellaiza Kenton.
The pretty heiress has sharp claws.
Space Note
“Jupiter is large enough to fit inside, 1,000 times. Just like my heart is big enough to fit all your beautiful and ugly pieces. All of you.”- E
Chapter
Six
BILLY’S BLOOMS AND MACAROONS
Shaw
Past
“I saw her eyes in every star in the sky.” – S
There has always been a certain calmness about a night sky full of stars. Even amidst the darkness, those tiny, luminous orbs of plasma manage to let light shine through. It’s a breathtaking sight that has always brought peace to my soul since I was a young boy.
Tonight, the moon shines brightly, and the weather is a perfect balance—not too cold, not too hot. It’s just right.
Spring in D.C. is different from Montana. Everything is different here than back home. Everything.
Fuck, who would’ve thought the young punk born and raised surrounded by horse shit and western hospitality has just signed a contract to start bodyguard duty for none other than the only child of the President of the United States of America, Ellaiza Kenton.
I meet the five-year-old three days ago at one of her father’s presidential rallies while he announces his plans to run again. My cousin, Ben, asks me to meet up with him so I can get a feel for what the job entails. I know when he calls me up to offer me the job as soon as I get out of high school last month that it won’t be an easy task. Not because the family is difficult, but because guarding someone’s life is no joke, and guarding the heart of the Commander-in-Chief—that’s another thing entirely.
There’s also the fact that I’m no good with kids. Well, I haven’t been around them much. I am an only child, and so is Ben.
I worry I’ll fuck this up and end up back home in less than a month.
“Don’t fuck this up.” My cousin reads my mind and warns me as we stroll along the illuminated path that leads us through the White House’s Garden.
“I won’t.” I hiss, feeling annoyed already by his comment. I wish he had more faith in me. I’m not the same punk that got into trouble every chance he could, testing not only Ma’s last nerve but authority as well. I have doubts about this job and my ability to guard someone’s life, but fuck it, I wish the man who’s like a brother to me had more confidence in me.
Ben, sensing my change in mood, stops and turns to look at me. His eyes, the same shade as mine, pin me in place. I see worry and love there. Shit. He loves this kid as if she were his own. The President is someone important to him too. Understanding dawns on me. “These people are my family too, Shaw,” Ben says, staring straight at me. “You’re a part of theirs now. This will be good for you. You’ll see.” He claps my shoulder tightly. “But if you hurt that little girl in any way, cousin or not, I will break your fucking face.” He threatens viciously.
I don’t have a chance to answer when the sweetest voice sounds through the garden. “Mister Happy, may I offer you a cup of tea?” A little girl dressed in pink—from the large bow in her hair to the pointy shoes on her feet—holds a tiny teacup towards a small blue bear with a pebble for an eye.
Ellaiza.
“There my little lady is…” Ben, the big oaf, booms.
The little girl gently sets the toy kettle down on the small table and then turns to us, beaming with the biggest smile.
Her smile is infectious.
“Hero!” The First Daughter gasps in excitement, stands up, and hurries towards us, completely forgetting her imaginary guests at the table.
“What about me?” Ben feigns hurt. “You wound me, Ellaiza.”
Ellaiza rolls her eyes playfully at her honorary uncle. “I see you all the days, Uncle Benji.” She extends her small hand towards Ben. “Did you bring something for our guests?”
Ben laughs and drops down to her level. It’s almost comical how big my cousin is compared to the child. “There’s one problem, though.”
“What is it?”
Ben places one chocolate cupcake with pink frosting on the table. “I only brought one for you.”
Ellaiza touches her chin with her index finger as if in deep thought, then her smile brightens, and her eyes grow wide. “That’s okay! We can all share!” Then the little girl with a trust fund that could most likely end world hunger breaks her tiny cupcake into pieces and shares it with us and her stuffed guest.
“Ella, you made a mess.” Ben’s laugh could surely be heard across the West Wing.
“Life is messy, Uncle Benji!” The little girl exclaims as she stuffs her face with what’s left of the cupcake.
My cousin looks up at me and grins, then turns his attention back to the little girl. “Those are some wise words, little lady.”
“I’m very wise!” Ellaiza jumps in place, joy lighting up her chubby face.
“That you are, my girl. That you are.”
I stand there in awe of this child’s kindness and how sweet this moment feels. So innocent and so kind. No wonder there’s so much love in my cousin’s heart for this girl and her father. We never had this back home. The air never felt this sweet in Montana.
“Hero, don’t you like cupcakes?” The soft voice interrupts my thoughts. I glance down at the small piece of chocolate cupcake and then at the girl. I hate chocolate. I hate sweets. Yet, I eat the cupcake and smile at her.
The first thing my cousin shared about the First Daughter is her fondness for all things sweet, particularly pink-frosted chocolate cupcakes.
“You are very kind, Ellaiza. Thank you.” I speak with my mouth full.
Her blue eyes narrow. “Ella. Not Ellaiza, please.”
Please.
This little girl belongs in a fairytale or a magical realm somewhere.
“Ella,” I try again.
“You’re going to be my guard?” She tilts her small head and I watch all those dark curls bounce with the move. “Uncle Benji says you are.”
“That’s right, Ella—” Her eyes narrow comically, and I try not to laugh. “Ella.”
“Magical!” She jumps up and down, causing my cousin to laugh and making my chest feel light. “We friends now, Shaw Bear.”
“Shaw Bear?” I frown at the curious nickname.
She nods once. “Yes, Shaw Bear.” Ella points toward her stuffed bear and smiles. “You look like Mr. Happy!”
Mr. Happy.
Her favorite stuffed toy from what I’ve heard from Ben.
“Friends?” The little girl repeats herself, her expression now tinged with worry, yet her kind smile remains firmly in place.
Then she does something most adults never do.
The tiny girl with stars in her blue eyes extends her small chocolate-covered hand my way and offers me her friendship and, with it, her small sweetheart.
I take her hand in mine, not caring at all that mine is now covered in chocolate and frosting because this tiny girl does what no one has ever dared or succeeded before. Ellaiza Kenton melts my heart that night, and for a year, she is the best friend I ever had.
She makes my job at the White House easy.
She illuminates everyone’s dark skies.
Especially mine.
Now
It’s the late afternoon, and I’m in the stables, getting my Appaloosa horse, Peppermint, back after a long ride around my land. Even after the ride under the sunny skies and breathing in fresh air, my mind is still a mess, and my chest still feels like there’s a big hole in it, sucking all the air. “Fuck, boy.” I pet my horse’s long mane gently. Peppermint was my mother’s favorite horse, and he’s also the first horse I ever rode.
I’m the only one who gets to be this close to him. Not even Phoenix, who is the favorite human of the other horses, gets this close. Not Peppermint.
My perceptive horse sighs as if he understands me. Sometimes I truly believe he does.
“I think I fucked up.” I breathe out as I stare into Peppermint’s dark eyes. “I’m an asshole.”
The sarcastic-as-fuck animal nickers while I let out a deep breath. Ellaiza’s sad face flashes through my mind, and it feels like a punch to the gut. Why? Why do I care if I hurt the girl’s feelings? I’ve never cared before if I made anyone feel like shit.
Then her lovely face flashes in my mind again, but this time she’s no longer sad—she’s mad. Really fucking mad. Mad and disappointed.
And me? Well… I don’t even fucking know anymore. I’m annoyed and angry. Not at her. Not mostly.
I’ve been alone for so long, alone and empty, that now, in a matter of a days—or shit, in a matter of hours—I’m feeling things I haven’t since life taught me just how stupid it is to care.
My back pocket starts to buzz. I pull out my phone and check who’s calling.
“Not this again,” I mumble as I watch the phone ring without answering.
This is the third call today that I’ve ignored.
When I agreed to guard the girl’s life, I made it clear that I would only deal with my cousin, not the Kentons. The former president has made his feelings about me clear since the very first day I started working for him so long ago.
I don’t measure up.
I’m not good enough in his eyes for him and his picture-perfect family.
I know I don’t bleed American royal blood like they do, but I won’t stand for anyone making me feel like shit. I might not be American royalty or filthy rich, but I’m a good fucking man. I’ve worked hard for everything I have, yet Sebastian Kenton still makes me feel like that punk eighteen-year-old kid again.
Still, I owe him, and it kills me that I do. One day I won’t, and that day can’t come fast enough.
I ignore the call and return the phone to my pocket.
Shortly after, another buzzing sound— a text message, no doubt another threat to my life from my former boss. Still, I choose to ignore it.
Peppermint blows his nose as thoughts of the lovely girl with indigo eyes take over my traitorous brain.
Looking over my shoulder back at the ranch house, I think about how she hasn’t left her room all day, not even when I knocked at her door for lunch.
Has she eaten? I wonder.
Have my cruel words caused damage? I think back to what I said to her and how her pretty smile had fallen from her face the moment my mocking words hit their mark.
Fuck.
