Outcasts MC (Complete Series), page 65
Tommy held out a hand for me to shake, and I did so, hoping I didn’t look too nervous. “Otis has told us a lot about you,” Tommy said gravely. “Says you show a lot of promise.”
“Thanks,” I said, glancing over at Otis.
“How are things going with Cora?” Otis asked, abruptly changing the subject. Maybe it wasn’t time for me to go to New York, not just yet. Another internal sigh of relief. “I don’t have time for details just now; Tommy and Kurt and I have some business to attend to this afternoon. But I presume you’ve made some progress?”
I nodded at him. “Yeah, I’m getting a lot of information,” I told him even though that wasn’t exactly true. “I’ve been sitting in on some of her classes at the school. Turns out that we did some work with the principal earlier this year, and he got me in there under the guise of a visiting superintendent from another district.”
“Perfect,” Otis said. He clapped me on the shoulder in a surprisingly fatherly gesture. “Keep working on it. I’ll get a full report from you soon.”
I nodded, knowing that now wasn’t the time to bring up the fact that I still didn’t know just what kind of information I was meant to be finding for him. It felt like my whole future was hanging in the balance at the moment, my longevity here in Greenboro based on my ability to find out information about Cora. I couldn’t let Otis down.
I couldn’t let myself down. I was already thinking about other ways I could get Cora to meet me outside of the school. Maybe with Piper as well? If the way that Cora talked about her daughter was any indication, she was a lot more relaxed around the girl. Maybe I would get more information that way. Or maybe Piper would spill some information. Everyone knew how kids were.
Yes, if I could figure out something to do with both of them, maybe I could get the information that Otis wanted, whatever it might be. I called Dax as I walked out of headquarters and arranged to get drinks with him that night. Maybe he could help me brainstorm.
14
Cora
School morning breakfasts were usually nothing special, but I did like to make sure that both Piper and I had a solid breakfast before we went off to the school for the day. This morning, it was just yogurt, granola, and a side of toast, but Piper munched happily away while I bustled around trying to get a few last things done in between bites of my toast.
“Mommy, was my daddy a teacher too?” Piper asked suddenly.
“No, silly,” I said, glancing over my shoulder at her as I took cups out of the dishwasher and put them away in the cabinet. “Remember, he was in the army.”
“But was he an army teacher?” Piper persisted.
It was a question I had been waiting for her to ask for a while now. She was old enough to know what the army was, at least in an abstract sense. But it wasn’t like I could tell her that his “job” had been to carry a gun around foreign lands, try not to get himself blown up, and shoot insurgents. Piper was only five. I didn’t want to spoil her innocence and tell her that the world wasn’t always a beautiful and sunny, happy place.
“No, he wasn’t an army teacher,” I said. “His job was to make sure that people were safe.” I supposed that was true enough, and not something that Piper would really question.
“Oh,” Piper said, frowning as she thought about that. “So like a police officer?”
“Kind of, yeah,” I agreed, nodding. “Like a police officer in foreign countries.” That was as good an explanation as any.
“Huh,” Piper said.
And then, because it was something I never wanted her to forget, I added, “He was one of the good guys. A hero.”
“Did he like school as much as I do?” Piper asked, and I had to laugh.
“I don’t think anyone could like school as much as you do, bug,” I told her. “But yes, your daddy was very smart. And he never got in any trouble at school either. He had all the answers to all the questions.”
“Cool,” Piper said, as I wondered where this was all coming from. Maybe her class was doing a unit on families as well? I should ask her teacher about that, maybe. Just so I would be prepared for any of the other questions that Piper might ask. Such as: “Do you think I’ll ever have a new daddy?”
“What?” I sputtered. It was a question I probably should have expected. Piper was smart. And I knew that there was probably at least one other kid in her class who had a “new” daddy or mommy. Still, when she asked it now, I felt flat-footed.
“Do you think I’ll ever have a new daddy?” Piper repeated like she thought I hadn’t heard her. “Harry’s daddy has a girlfriend. You could have a boyfriend, right?”
“I could,” I said slowly. I sat down across from Piper at the table, heedless of the time. If we were late because of this, surely it was excusable. “But Piper, I’m not sure I want a boyfriend.”
“Because you want a girlfriend?” Piper asked matter-of-factly, and again, I was left sputtering.
I shook my head, laughing a little. “Oh, Pipes. No. Not because I want a girlfriend. It’s complicated, though.”
“Because you miss my daddy too much?” Piper asked, wise beyond her years.
I nodded slowly. “Yes,” I told her. “I miss your daddy a lot.”
“But you should be happy,” Piper said, frowning.
“I am happy,” I reminded Piper. “I’ve got you, remember? You’re all I need in my life.”
Piper beamed at that. “Okay,” she said. “As long as you’re happy.”
I shook my head and glanced at the clock, swearing internally. “We’ve got to get to school,” I said. “Run and put your shoes on, okay? Your sneakers, not your sandals.”
“Okay!” Piper said, slipping down off her seat and skipping out of the kitchen.
When I got to my classroom, walking in just before the morning announcements started, I saw Xander sitting in the back of the classroom. I paused, feeling momentarily flustered. Then, I gave him a little wave and went about getting things ready for the first lesson of the morning, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was pounding.
I hadn’t heard from Xander since the other night when we’d had sex. I hadn’t expected that I would, and to be honest, I was grateful I hadn’t. I didn’t regret having sex with him, per se. I had felt so relaxed the next day, more than I had expected even. Blissed out, I guess. But it definitely couldn’t happen again, so I was trying not to think about it.
But now, seeing him here, I couldn’t help thinking about it, and him. I remembered Piper’s questions from that morning, about me having a boyfriend. But even if I wanted a boyfriend, Xander was far from boyfriend material. He had a motorcycle. He might not have been a linebacker in high school, but all the same, he was a total bad boy now. He was the complete opposite of Jackson.
Once upon a time, maybe he and I could have been happy together. But I was mature enough to know that while that kind of excitement and passion could be fun in a one-night stand, it wasn’t the kind of thing I was looking for in a long-term situation. Especially not with Piper around.
Still, later that afternoon when the kids were at gym and Xander came up to the front of the classroom to chat, I couldn’t help smiling at him.
“Where were you yesterday?” I asked, surprising both of us. “Not that you need to be here every day, but aren’t you supposed to if you’re trying to protect someone? Or were you, like, lurking in the parking lot spying on me?”
Xander laughed and shook his head. “It’s not that kind of protection,” he said. “And I had another work thing that took up my morning. Didn’t want to drop in in the middle of the afternoon and disrupt the class either.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, even though there was something inside of me saying I would have appreciated the interruption if it meant I got to see him. I pushed those thoughts aside.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere with me again tonight. And Piper as well. The carnival is in town.”
I stared at him for a moment. I knew I shouldn’t get involved with him, and I wasn’t sure I wanted Piper anywhere around him. Especially not after the kinds of questions that she’d been asking that morning. But on the other hand, going to the carnival with him did sound like fun, and Piper would probably be distracted enough by the lights and excitement that she wouldn’t think to ask any of those sorts of questions anyway.
“All right,” I found myself saying. And it was worth it to see the smile spread across Xander’s face.
15
Xander
Dax had been the one to come up with the idea of me taking Cora and Piper to the fundraising carnival. It was a brilliant idea. We had both come up with a few other ideas prior to that, most of which involved driving all the way to Boston, such as going to the zoo. I wasn’t sure I could convince Cora to do that.
Or we could go hiking. Cora had mentioned that Piper liked to hike, after all. But I was afraid that Cora might view that as something that the two of them did, a mother-daughter activity, and I didn’t want to intrude on that. Not just yet.
And then there were the other ideas, ones that Cora and I could do on our own, without Piper needing to be there. I was afraid if I suggested one of those, Cora would decide to leave Piper behind with a babysitter. But I did think I was more likely to get information from Cora if Piper was there.
The carnival was local, and it wasn’t something Cora and I could do without bringing Piper along. It seemed like the perfect idea.
Plus, I kind of liked the idea of it. In my head, I could already picture Cora cheering Piper on as the little girl played carnival games. I could picture her laughing as she and Piper went on all the rides. It was going to be a fun night, I was sure.
Honestly, the whole outing was worth it just to see the way that Piper’s eyes lit up when we arrived at the carnival. “I take it you didn’t tell her where we were going?” I asked Cora in an undertone.
Cora shook her head. “I wanted it to be a surprise,” she said, grinning at me. She knelt next to her daughter, fixing the girl’s scarf. It was a surprisingly nice night for the time of year, but there was still a slight chill to the air. “You can thank my friend Xander for bringing us here,” she said. “It was his idea.”
To my surprise, Piper threw her arms around my legs. “Thank you!” she said happily. She turned back to her mom, eyes still shining. “Can we go on all the rides?”
“You know I can’t do the spinny rides,” Cora reminded her daughter. Then, she looked speculatively at me, and I nodded. “But I bet if you asked nicely, Xander would go on some of them with you.”
Piper turned to me, her little hands pressed together. “Please can we go on the rides?” she asked.
“Sounds like a plan,” I told her, grinning. “What should we go on first?”
Even though I kept trying to remind myself that this was work, that I was supposed to be finding out information about Cora, I found myself forgetting about that over the course of the evening and instead just relaxing and having fun. In fact, I was surprised at how much fun I was having. Piper was a total laugh, giggling at nearly everything, totally energized by her surroundings. She wanted to go on every ride if we could, plus play all the games.
And I wasn’t about to argue. Maybe I should look at tonight as just laying the building blocks for future work. You know, get Cora to see that I wasn’t a terrible guy, that I could handle her life. After all, wasn’t Piper one of the reasons that Cora said she and I could never have sex again? If I took that reason away from her, then maybe things could work out between the two of us.
Of course, there was also the fact that Cora might be Otis’s daughter and Piper his granddaughter. The last thing I should be doing right now was thinking about trying to get into Cora’s good graces and back into her pants.
“Thanks for bringing us here,” Cora said, leaning in close to me as we watched Piper play the ring toss game. “But you are totally spoiling her by letting her play as many games as she wants.”
I glanced over, grinning at the amusement in her eyes, then shrugged. “Let her be spoiled,” I said. “It’s one night of the year, isn’t it?”
“First the carnival, then the arcade,” Cora sighed jokingly.
I laughed and dared to sling an arm around Cora’s shoulders. “Well, come on, she looks happy, doesn’t she?”
“She does,” Cora said, looking up at me. “She is.” And from the way she smiled at me, I wondered if we were still talking about Piper or about Cora herself. I felt a warmth flush through me.
“I think it’s time for you to play a game,” I told her, trying my best to cover how into her I was.
Cora laughed and shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she said. “Tonight’s all about…” Then, she trailed off, looking at me with new eyes. “I guess tonight can’t be all about Piper, can it?”
Slowly, I shook my head. “I wanted to see you again. Outside of the school.” I glanced over to where Piper was still trying to get her rings around the neck of the glass bottles so she could win a stuffed teddy bear. “To be honest, I never thought I would be much around kids,” I admitted to Cora.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Cora’s face fall. “You’re not interested in ever having kids?” she asked dully, and from the way she said it, it sounded like I had insulted her very being. I supposed that made sense when I thought about it; I’d have to be stupid not to realize that Piper was her whole world. And she worked with kids at the school as well.
But I shook my head again. “It’s not that I was never interested in having kids or being around them,” I said softly. “It’s just that I never expected to have them. I never expected to meet a woman who was interested in having kids with me.”
Maybe it was more than I should have told her at this early stage in our relationship. And I certainly wasn’t thinking about getting Cora pregnant anytime soon. But I wanted her to know that I liked spending time around her and Piper. And maybe, in some part of my heart, I wanted her to start imagining a family as well, just the three of us.
Jesus, I was getting in over my head, and fast. This was just a job, nothing more. But then why did it feel like something more? It wasn’t like I had never done important work for the Outcasts before, but this assignment carried meaning I had never felt.
Not because I was thinking of Cora as Otis’s daughter, but because I was thinking of Cora as Cora, this sweet, intelligent, attractive woman. If she was in some danger, I wanted to protect her. And what was more, I wanted to know everything about her, not for Otis’s sake but for my own.
There was a long silence between the two of us. Suddenly, Piper ran back, hugging my legs again. “I almost got it,” she told me proudly. “Can we go on the Zipper?”
“Sure,” I said, but I only had eyes for Cora. She stared at me for a long moment and then looked away.
“Have fun,” she said to her daughter, smiling. I could tell she was trying to act normal, like there was nothing wrong, but I could see the brittle edges of her smile, and internally, I winced. Too much too soon, maybe.
“We’ll be back in a minute,” I promised Cora, hoping she could read the subtext there: this conversation wasn’t over. She didn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t that I didn’t want kids; that much was obvious. But for now, I caught Piper’s hand and led her toward the line for the Zipper.
“Are you my mommy’s boyfriend?” Piper asked suddenly as we were waiting in line. I looked down at her in surprise. And then, looking out over the crowd and seeing Cora’s face watching us, I bent down on some strange impulse and picked up the little girl.
“No,” I told her frankly. “But your mommy’s something special, isn’t she?”
Piper beamed at me. “She’s the best,” she said. Then, she frowned. “But why aren’t you her boyfriend?”
I snorted and shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “But sometimes, these things grow. Can you give us a little time?” I didn’t know if the words I was saying were appropriate for someone Piper’s age or not, but I couldn’t bring myself to quit saying them.
Piper cocked her head to the side. “Okay,” she said. “But not too much time.” She grinned at me. “Mommy should be happy.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “She should be.”
We went on the ride, and all I could think about was what Piper said. Cora deserved to be happy. Whoever she was, Otis’s daughter or not, she deserved to be happy. And it made me wonder who Piper’s father was. Had he made Cora happy? Did Otis know about him?
These were all things I couldn’t ask, wouldn’t ask. Things that maybe I would muse over later with Dax, if anyone. But things I could probably never talk to Cora or Piper about. And things I especially couldn’t tell Otis about, whatever my assignment was.
We finished up on the Zipper, but before I could corner Cora alone and talk to her more while Piper played games, Cora challenged Piper and me to a game of ring toss. Next thing I knew, we were all laughing again, like there hadn’t been any sort of deeper conversations over the course of the night. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry that I had missed my chance to convince Cora I wasn’t the guy she seemed to think I was.
Nor did I know how to feel when she was the one to win a prize from the ring toss. As she handed it down to her beaming daughter, I couldn’t help wishing I had been the one to win, that I had been the one to hand that teddy bear over to Piper, that I had managed to find a place in their lives. But instead, all I could think was about the fact that neither of these girls needed me. No, they were doing just fine on their own.
It made me wonder yet again just what sort of information I should be looking for here. They didn’t seem to be in any sort of danger in the first place, and whatever danger there might be, I was sure that Cora would find a way to handle it.
