Alien Hope, page 5
Until now. Standing beside him with Abby, where the differences between Taiga and me were no doubt glaringly obvious.
I took a deep breath, standing up straighter and holding Abby’s packs just a little tighter.
I was the one she asked to go with her this morning, I reminded myself.
I did not only remind myself.
I burned the fact into my brain.
But even so, I could not help the small, relieved sigh that escaped me when Abby’s gaze did not seem particularly drawn to Taiga or any other male here.
Such relief was completely absurd.
But, as I’d learned long ago, emotions often tended to be absurd. Which was why it was so much easier to not bother trying to explain them to anyone.
“Well, should we go?” Abby said. And now that warm gaze was only on me.
Cursed waves, how I wanted to keep it there.
“Yes,” I answered. As I looked into her eyes, I felt as if I were falling. As if their dark wells were even deeper than the Bitter Sea of my homeland. But I would welcome such depths. I was a strong swimmer. Always had been. I hefted her packs and adjusted the grip on my spear, ready to face the desert and the dawn with her. “We shall go.”
CHAPTER TEN
Abby
I realized too late that travelling with Kohka meant I’d be riding on his back like a goddamn toddler getting a piggyback ride. I’d gotten so used to riding the irkdu with the Sea Sand warriors that I’d just mentally morphed that experience onto my expectation of going out over the sands with Kohka. I fished out some hide straps and he fastened my overstuffed packs to his side before popping his spear between his fangs and crouching down onto all fours on the sand.
Shit.
Not only was this piggy-back style, but since he’d be loping across the desert on all fours, more like some kind of big cat than a man, I’d be leaning pretty far forward to stay stable. Though it wasn’t that big comparatively speaking, my stomach would no doubt be pressing against him, at least a little.
Please, Peanut, keep the kicking to a minimum while I’m on his back. I’m begging you.
Although, I doubted Kohka could feel much through the armour of the shining, metallic scales and spikes on his back. His brown colouring was concentrated on his front. I noticed for the first time that most of the scales on his back were slate grey and silver. I also noticed, not for the first time, just how gorgeous he was. His anatomy was physical strength perfected, and yet it was balanced with the subtle, refined shimmer of those scales. His broad back angled down into a wide waist packed with muscle. Tree-trunk thighs pressed knees into the sand, and his tail, nearly as wide as his thigh at its base, tapered to an agile silvery point. As the sun rose higher and bathed him in more light, I found myself fascinated by the way his scales hugged his frame. Like exquisitely-wrought chainmail clinging to the roiling brutality of muscle beneath.
Lovely to behold. But harder than stone.
I reached out a tentative hand, to see just how smooth and hard the larger scales of his back would feel. When my fingertips grazed the polished-metal surface of his back, he twitched, tension whispering down his form. It was so subtle that I nearly missed it. A slight movement in his head and tail. A tiny, tightening quiver along the spikes of his spine, gone as quickly as it appeared.
I guess he can feel things through these scales after all.
Feeling awkwardly aware of the eyes of the guards on me, I hoisted myself onto Kohka’s back. There was no twitch of response to my touch this time. In fact, it was the opposite. Kohka had hardened into complete stillness, like I’d just climbed up onto a marble statue.
But then?
The marble shattered.
Without a word, without any sort of warning, Kohka exploded into movement. I yelped, holding tightly to his neck as the tents, the settlement, and everything I knew on this planet turned into a blur behind us.
Then disappeared.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kohka
I had to keep moving.
I had to stay ahead of her scent.
If I slowed too much, if I stopped...
I’d be done for.
Having her on my back was already the strangest, most delicious sort of torture I could imagine. Her heat seeped through my scales. Her thighs were spread wide across me, the crux of her little female body nestled so close, so –
Faster.
With a grunt that reverberated down the length of the spear in my mouth, I forced my limbs into greater action. The burn in my muscles did little to soothe my unruly mind. But it was better than nothing.
But I could not maintain that speed for long. Not due to any insufficiency in my own strength, but because Abby was begging me to slow down.
I did so immediately.
Somewhere in her lineage, she must have had a king for an ancestor. I can deny her nothing.
“Thank you,” she sighed, her grip loosening at my neck.
Would she be thanking me if she knew why I’d gone so fast in the first place? That I was trying to outrun her scent? Perhaps even somehow outrun her?
It did not matter. The human ship was in sight. Soon, I would deposit her there.
Then I would leave her.
As the ship grew larger in my vision, I imagined Abby growing smaller as I left her. A soft, smiley little dot in the distance, calling goodbyes at my back.
The bone handle of my spear almost cracked under the sudden pressure of my fangs. The idea of dropping Abby here and leaving, unsure when, or if, I’d get to see her again, made my fangs fill with venom. It was as if there was some great enemy nearby I had to fight and kill.
But there was no enemy. None besides time and space, distance and duty.
The chaos of not understanding her. And not understanding myself when I was around her.
We reached the ship. A horrible mixture of dread, loneliness, and relief swept through me as Abby dismounted, somewhat unsteadily, from my back.
More than somewhat unsteadily, actually. Instantly, I dropped my spear from my mouth and I lifted my claws from the sand, kneeling as I gripped her waist to steady her.
We froze, both of us staring at my hands on her. Even though she was not as small as some of the new women, my hands looked gargantuan against her sides. My thumbs, with their black claws, looked like weapons on her body. Monstrous and deadly.
And perhaps I was a monster.
Because I...
I could not let go.
I’d only ever seen her in her cloak. I hadn’t gotten to see much of her body. But now, I could feel it. Feel the tingling warmth of her beneath my rough hands. Her abdomen was somewhat pronounced, as were the swells of her chest above. All of her so curved and luscious and –
“Let go!”
I snatched my hands away.
“I... I am sorry,” I stammered, getting to my feet. Now I was the one who felt unsteady. Knocked entirely off course in bewilderment at my own behaviour. I only needed to make sure she wouldn’t fall. And yet I’d held her for entirely too long. Far beyond what was necessary.
Or appropriate.
“No. I just... It’s OK. I was wobbly, so thanks for steadying me. I just don’t like people touching me there.”
“There?”
She tugged her cloak away from her body, creating a tenting effect that further hid her shape. Then she pointed at her abdomen. “There.”
Dismay made me grind my fangs. You are an ignorant oaf.
“I apologize. Most sincerely,” I rasped.
She gave me a small smile that I did not feel I deserved but clamoured for nonetheless.
“It’s alright, really. You couldn’t have known. Sorry I snapped at you about it.” Her smile grew. “There’s one way you can make it up to me.”
“Anything.” The word was out before I could stop it. Before I could think about the consequences. And the consequences, it turned out, were colossal.
“Kohka,” she said, her eyes keen and determined as she made her request of me. “Take me with you. Take me to the Deep Sky.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Abby
I should have expected it, but Kohka’s instantaneous reply stung a little anyway.
“No.”
Shit. I was kind of hoping he’d just take me along without asking too many questions...
“But I have to go! It’s very important! They, um... They need me at the settlement!”
Kohka’s brilliant silver eyes narrowed. I started sweating, and it wasn’t just from the heat of the morning sun beating down.
“Why have I heard nothing of this? Just yesterday you were collecting my mating fluid for more of your work on the ship. The ship I’ve just brought you to.”
“It’s fine. We have enough doses of the drug I was formulating to get through the next few births.” I left out the part about how one of those very doses was in a cooler inside one of the packs currently strapped to his side. “Kat can take over my work, anyway. I’ve left her all the info and the formulas for when they need to make more. But I need to go... Um... I need to go continue my work at the Deep Sky settlement. There will no doubt be human women giving birth in the mountains, too. And none of the women there right now are chemists who can recreate the drug.”
“The journey is too dangerous.”
“Not with you!” I replied quickly. And I believed it, too. Kohka was probably the biggest, baddest thing I’d run across anytime soon.
He still looked unconvinced.
“When was this decision made?” he growled. “I have had no new instructions from my Hakah. And unmated males are not supposed to take new women that far from the settlement. There should be chaperones from the other tribes.”
Kohka had a slightly shy (and completely freaking adorable) awkwardness to him at times, but not now. Now, his obviously sharp intellect was picking apart my claims, bit by bit.
This isn’t working.
I felt my face fall. Kohka’s gaze narrowed further, taking in my change of expression.
I can’t get any bullshit past him. I’ll have to be honest. As honest as I can be, anyway.
Beads of sweat rolled down my back at the thought of changing tactics with him. Because this was my last shot. My Hail Mary. If he turned me down this time, I could be stuck here for good.
My heart slammed. Peanut rolled over, his movement a physical reminder of what I had to do. I desperately blinked back a sudden burn of tears at the thought of giving birth to a human boy among all these territorial Gahns.
“Kohka,” I said, hating how shaky my voice sounded. No doubt Kohka heard the tremor in my words, too. His gaze, previously so narrow with suspicion, went wide.
“I need this. I need you to trust me and take me with you. Please. This is something I have to do. I can’t go with any Sea Sand men. It has to be just you and me.”
Kohka stared at me in obvious surprise and confusion.
“I’m sorry I lied to you about taking me to the ship this morning,” I added. “But I’ve been planning to leave with you all along. If you...” Fuck. More tears. I swiped angrily at my cheeks. Kohka’s nostrils flared, his pupils tracking the movement of my fingers across my tear-dampened skin.
“I know we just met,” I said, sniffing hard. “I have no right to ask anything of you. But if you care for me at all as a new friend, you’ll do this for me. I can’t explain my reasons right now. But I have to leave the settlement. I have to go with you. Only you.”
Kohka still said nothing. Panic jolted through me, making my words faster. More frantic.
“Maybe you don’t care about me at all. That’s OK! You don’t have to be my friend. But I need... I need an ally right now. And I want it to be you.”
It was true. This wasn’t just about the convenient fact that Kohka was leaving the settlement at the exact moment I needed to get the fuck outta Dodge. It had to do with him specifically. I barely knew the guy, but already I could feel myself beginning to trust him. He was such a disarming combination of stoic and shy, helpful and humble. Even with all those scales surrounding him like a shield, I felt that I could see inside him. Right to his heart.
And my instincts told me it was a good fucking heart.
But I also got the sense that Kohka didn’t like feeling unprepared or being thrust into new situations. And right now, I was the new, unnerving situation. I’ve thrown this poor guy off-balance from the moment we’ve met. It was the reason I didn’t just give it all up and tell him why I had to leave here. The big lug would probably have had a fucking panic attack at the thought of taking a pregnant human across the desert away from the resources of the settlement.
Kohka’s brow furrowed. Muscles along his snout twitched, revealing a quick flash of fangs. He bent so that his face was level with mine.
“So small,” he muttered, “and yet so unknowable.”
My breath caught as one of his knuckles bumped my cheek, smearing the hot fluid of my tears.
“What does this mean?” he asked, his voice barely above a gravelly whisper.
“The tears?” I croaked. “Right now, they’re ‘Kohka, help me, you’re my last hope,’ tears.”
He went to pull his hand away, but I grabbed his wrist, keeping his knuckles against my face. I stared into his eyes, not letting my gaze waver, no matter how blurry it got with moisture.
“I’m serious, Kohka. You are my only hope right now. If you don’t help me, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.”
Kohka’s throat visibly contracted, and a pained look passed over his face.
“These tears, then... They are a sign of your distress?”
I nodded, unable to say anything else. My throat felt like it had completely closed up.
“If that is true, if these tears mean that you are unhappy...” Kohka’s jaw hardened at the back of his snout. “Then I never want to see them again.”
Kohka’s wrist slipped from my grip. Before I could even take a breath, he’d scooped his spear up between his teeth and was crouching on all fours. I stared at him in shock for so long that he finally turned his large head to look at me over his spiky shoulder, dropping his spear to speak.
“Come, Abby,” he said, more gently than someone as big as him should have been capable of. “It is time for us to go.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Kohka
Every step I took further from the Cliffs of Uruzai made me worry that I had made a terrible mistake. I knew I was not supposed to take a new woman this far out alone, especially without informing my Hakah.
I also knew that I was absolutely powerless against the stark unhappiness Abby had shown me this morning by the human ship. Something was deeply bothering her, maybe even scaring her. She’d trusted me to take her away from all of it, whatever it was.
I wouldn’t break that trust even if it killed me.
As I carried her over the sands, I chewed on the unexpected and inexplicable desire I had to help her. Certainly, I liked to help others in general. But not like this. I did not normally feel such a frantic stab of panic when seeing someone else upset. I did not normally feel like I needed to set everything in this world to rights with my own claws just to make someone else smile.
I felt that way with Abby.
Why? I had no idea. I had no mate bond for her. But there was something about her...
Perhaps more than a simple something. I rather worried that it was everything about her.
What could have prompted her to leave the settlement shrouded in such secrecy?
I knew better than to ask her. She’d already made it clear she would not, or could not, tell me. But still, I wondered. And hoped, quietly to myself, that one day she would trust me even more than she already had and would tell me the whole tale.
But for now, I would have to live with the decision I’d made: the decision to take her with me while asking no questions of her. As night fell, and we stopped to make camp, she certainly did not give me much to go on. She only asked if we could go a little longer in the darkness. To get a little further from the cliffs.
“Nobody should notice I’m gone yet,” she said, unwilling to slide off my back even though I’d gotten down low on the ground and dropped my spear. As she spoke, her chest and abdomen rubbed against me in a way that made my tail snap straight out backwards. “But just in case,” she added, “I’d like to go a little further if we can. Put some more distance.”
I’d told myself I would not press her about her reasons. But I had to know one thing, as territorial, protective rage threatened to rear its head inside me.
“You also said you did not want a Sea Sand man to accompany us,” I said tightly. “Has someone... Did a Sea Sand warrior hurt you?”
I left my other question unspoken.
Who do I have to kill?
I curled my claws into the sand to keep myself from loping back to the settlement at top speed.
But my budding anger swiftly turned to confusion when she replied, “Oh, no! Nothing like that!”
“Hmm,” I replied. I slid my spear into one of the straps holding Abby’s pack to my side. I began to move once more, crossing a little more distance as the sun set. Moving more slowly like this, I wasn’t worried about the spear coming loose from the strap, so I did not need to carry it between my fangs. This gave me leave to speak more easily. “Then perhaps it is not a Sea Sand warrior I must worry about, but you.”
“Hey!”
“What?” I asked. “You new women are frightfully clever and capable of the most bizarrely unnatural acts I have ever witnessed. Have you hidden the body of a Sea Sand man somewhere in the cliffs, and now you’re using me as your escape? I have a right to know whom I am dealing with if we are to travel together.”
There it was. That pretty laughter I’d already grown to like so much, catching in the wind.
“Was that a joke, Kohka?”
A smirk pulled at my snout.
“I do not truly believe you have killed a Sea Sand warrior, if that is what you mean,” I replied.
