Chase, page 25
“Better life?!” I yell with bitterness. “Better life?! You saw how they treated me! You knew my life was miserable and yet you did nothing! You said nothing, I hate you. You should have aborted me when you had the chance, it would have been a lot kinder than what you did to me!”
I’m trying to force Theo’s arms apart so I can attack the bitch in front of me. He senses this is going nowhere but downhill, so hoists me over his shoulder. I thrash about, but it has little effect.
“You tell her, you tell her everything!” he says to Nonna, who is now comforting a weeping Frankie; her tears have no effect on me however, I meant every word, I hate her.
Theo marches us out the door and away from there. He doesn’t put me down until we’re safely at his car where he puts me down and holds on tight until I go limp from exhaustion. Only then does he release me.
“Izzy, talk to me, Iz,” he pleads, shaking me a little as I stare into the oblivion of shit that lays before me.
“I…I…I’m like your stepsister!” I cry before covering my eyes with both hands and let that sliver of gross information slip in. Theo laughs before pulling me back into his strong arms. “How could she have left me there, Theo? How could they lie to me for all these years? I just…I don’t…how can I process all of this?”
“I don’t know, Iz. Fuck, I’m just as shocked as you are,” he sighs sadly. “Let’s go back home and see to that furball of yours; calm down a little before trying to even think about how to handle all this.”
I nod sadly because he’s right, this is too much to take in. It’s still too raw. What I do know, however, is he’s still here. He hasn’t run, which surely means, given everything, he never will.
_____
Theo
As soon as we’re back home, my home in fact, we both wander into the house in a daze, still feeling shell shocked by my mother’s revelations. I decide to show Izzy around the new security system I’ve had installed, including cameras in all the rooms, except the bathrooms and main bedroom. There’s also a new intercom system, including cameras to show who is at each outside door. It is both a safety measure and a means of collecting any evidence should Ethan decide to ignore my warning and return.
I’m not sure how much of my rambling Izzy takes in, for I think her mind is unsurprisingly elsewhere. She seems much too preoccupied in seeking refuge in the fluffy dog that follows her around like she’s the moon and stars, all in one. Stella was definitely one of Mom’s better ideas; it’s a shame she’s made some epically bad decisions in the past.
We then spend the rest of the evening in front of the fire; Izzy watches the flames with a hypnotic look in her eyes, all the while Stella sprawls out, resembling a rug. I pull Izzy against me as I lie behind her, lost in my own thoughts over the woman I call ‘Mom’. Neither of us talk beyond the odd perfunctory comment, but hopefully my being with her is support enough.
The sound of my phone ringing breaks us out of our silence, even the dog gets up with a half-hearted wag of her tail. I look at the caller ID and huff loudly, but the son in me can’t just ignore her.
“Mom?” I say in a voice laced with so many emotions, I’m not sure what it conveys overall. Izzy turns back toward the fire and curls herself up even more tightly than before.
“Theo, I know I’m the last person that either of you want to talk to right now, but your grandmother…well, I’m afraid she hasn’t got much time left,” she says with a sad sigh. “The doctor says it’s likely to be a matter of hours. Please come, she wants to see you both one last time.”
“Ok, yeah, sure.” I sniff so loudly, Izzy moves around to face me with a look of concern. “We’ll leave now.”
“Good, that’s…good. I’m going to say my goodbyes now and then I’ll leave,” she says sadly, “this needs to be about your grandmother, not all this other stuff. I love you…I love you both.”
“Yeah, me too,” I whimper a little; there’s too much emotional drama going on for anyone not to break a little.
“She’s not got long left, has she,” Izzy says sadly when I hang up. I can’t say the words, so instead, I pull her back to me and hug for longer than we normally would, knowing that when we eventually let go, we’re going to have to go and face saying goodbye to Nonna.
Chapter 24
Theo
The room is empty, save for the old woman lying in the bed before us. The machines beep from beside her, telling us she’s still here, but only for a little while longer. The knowledge of this has me leading Izzy inside, keeping hold of her hand as we take our seats before the woman who has meant so much to us both, the one that brought us back together. We try and smile, even though both of us are losing the fight to hold back our tears. No one wants to face people crying over your impending death.
“Did I ever tell you where that ring came from?”
The old lady points to the ring she gave to me with which to propose to Izzy, long before our fake engagement became an idea; it was when I had come back to save Izzy. I didn’t know then that I was too late. After Ethan had sent his lie of a photography, I had been tempted to throw it away. Fortunately, I put it back in its delicate box and told her to keep for when we were both ready.
“It wasn’t from your grandfather,” she says with a mischievous smile, “it was from my Theo.” She reaches up to stroke my chin, grinning when she sees the confusion on both of our faces. “His name was Jack, and he was one of my father’s employees. He wasn’t considered good enough for marriage material; it would have caused my father great embarrassment to have one of his lowest paid employees marrying his daughter. When he discovered us kissing one day, I was sent away to stay with my aunt, and he was fired on the spot.”
“Did you love him?” Izzy asks, holding one of her hands with the same hand that holds her ring. Nonna studies it for a moment or two, a tear perching on the end of her eyelashes.
“More than anything,” she says quietly. “He gave me that ring before I was sent away. He said it was a promise to marry me as soon as I returned home. Unfortunately,” she says with a smile that tries to hide the sadness of the memory, “I was married off before I returned home. In fact, I was already pregnant with your father by the time I returned.”
“Oh, Nonna,” Izzy cries, “I don’t know what to say. What did Jack do?”
“He married another girl,” she replies with shrug, “and we avoided each other; it would have been too painful to do otherwise. He eventually moved away with his wife and their two children. I heard he and his wife separated about twenty years ago.”
“Why didn’t you look him up?” Izzy asks, ever the adventurer.
“Because I was still married to your grandfather,” she laughs softly, “and by the time he passed on, Jack had already died.” We all seem to look down with heavy hearts over her sad tale. “The point of this sad tale is that this is not an unhappy occasion because I’m hoping that perhaps I’ll finally get to see him again.”
Izzy finally breaks and cries against her weak hand on the bed.
“Don’t leave me, Nonna, you’ve been my whole family,” she whimpers, shuddering her with the intensity of her cries.
“You have a new family now, Izzy,” she says, stroking Izzy’s blond locks with affection. “Theo is your family now; don’t let him go like I did. Keep hold of one another, no matter what anyone else says or does. If you want to build bridges with Frankie, then do it before it’s too late.” Izzy looks up at her and smiles as much as she can. “I’m going to miss you both, my darlings,” she sighs with a sob that’s enough to break me too.
“I love you, Nonna,” Izzy whispers.
“I love you too, my little Izzy!”
_____
Izzy
Nonna died at four thirty-three pm from lung failure. She had lost consciousness only about an hour before her heart gave out and the intermittent beeping ran constant. On her wishes, no one tried to revive her. I like to think she went peacefully, like walking through a door to meet all the people she had loved and lost along the way. Hopefully, Jack.
Now that she’s passed, and a heavy-set sadness has taken over, my old friend, bitterness is beginning to seep its way in. My only saving grace is Stella’s desperation to remain by my side wherever I go, and Theo of course. However, Theo is just as upset as I am, so we’re kind of trying to lean on one another without a lot of success, not that he’ll admit it. Whereas I keep sitting and staring hopelessly into space, Theo is pacing, clearly not knowing what to do with himself.
“I bet you wish you could just turn back time and return to America right now,” I eventually say into the silence. “This trip has been full of nothing but painful revelations.”
“Don’t be stupid Iz,” he says, pausing in his latest step and coming to sit next to me instead. “Do I really have to remind you that we’re in this together now? Please stop doubting me, I need you now more than ever, so please don’t push me away.”
I look up and smile at him because I’ve never had someone like him to lean on, not since the last time he was here.
“I’m sorry, old habits and all that,” I reply sheepishly, to which he kisses me. “Apparently, our fathers are already trying to arrange the funeral,” I sigh, not wanting to consider any of the miscreants that call themselves my family. Nonna was right, my family is now Theo and Stella, full stop.
“Izzy,” Theo starts in such a way, I know he’s about to say something I’m not going to be happy about…as if I need anything else. “Mom…I spoke to her last night, and, well, she’s asking to see you.”
“Oh,” I simply reply because right now, I don’t really want to acknowledge Frankie’s existence, let alone meet with her. But on the other hand, she’s Theo’s mom too. So, squeezing my eyes shut, I get up and grab hold of Stella’s lead, who immediately gets to her feet and begins wagging her tail ferociously. The sight of her over excited reaction has my mood lifting somewhat.
“Izzy? What should I tell her?”
Theo makes a move to go and collect his own boots from beside the front door, still muddy from the last walk. I love him more than anything, I do, but after ten years of trying to hash out the problems in my life by myself, I could really do with some alone time. Trusting him is still a learning process, still something I need to explore and make mistakes with. If I don’t take this time now, he’s right, I will end up pushing him away.
“You don’t want me to go with you, do you?” he says, smirking over my silence. “Izzy, I get it, I do, but I don’t want you going out by yourself. Your brother is still out there, remember?”
“Believe me, I know that, Theo, but I need some time to make my peace with everything.” I walk over to where he’s standing, because regardless of what he just said about understanding, he still looks a little crestfallen. “Then, I promise, I’ll talk about where to go from here. I’ll stick to the woods out the back, and I’ll take my phone, alarm, everything, ok? Besides, I have my ferocious guard dog with me.”
We both look at the grinning golden retriever standing in front of us, looking about as scary as a Care Bear and end up laughing.
“Fine,” he sighs before kissing me gently. “I love you, Iz, always.”
“I know,” I reply, “everybody does.”
_____
Izzy
I spend the first half of my walk trying to empty my head of everything that’s too hard to think about. From experience, I learned that distraction is key, so I watch Stella the whole time, trotting along the path, jumping through the bushes, chewing on sticks and basically loving life. Theo had explained the night we brought her home that she had been rescued from a puppy farm by Mrs Hughes’ son. The dogs weren’t kept at all well; they were underfed and used as breeding machines. Stella and her eight siblings were found caged up with her mother. Only three of them survived, all the others were in such a bad state, the kindest thing had been to put them to sleep. The mother included. With such a sad beginning in life, I look at her in awe. So forgiving, so happy, so in love with everything. Will I ever feel like this?
We stop at a nearby stream where I throw sticks into the water, laughing at Stella every time she ungraciously jumps in to get them. I end up sitting on the mound of earth that sits at the top of the bank, losing myself in the trickling sound that comes from the water running its course over various rocks and low lying foliage.
“What should I do, Stella?” I ask her out loud, to which she crouches down low, seemingly only interested in me throwing her another stick. I laugh at her again, mentally thanking her for managing to bring some lightness into my life, even after losing my grandmother. “You need to be my new Nonna figure by the way, so you’d better up your game, puppy.”
I throw the stick, which she proceeds to go after by sticking her entire head under the water to retrieve. What should I do though? Do I give Frankie the chance to tell me her side of things? Or do I do what I’ve always done and put on my usual mask to the world, pretending like it doesn’t bother me either way? I can’t seem to make my head sway one way or the other; I literally have no idea what to do.
Sighing at my reflection in the water, I reach inside my pocket to retrieve Nonna’s ring, then stare at it as though it might give me her insight through some form of mystical power. It truly is a pretty ring and reflects her beauty and insight in every way, but it’s not her. No one will be her and I don’t know what to do with that information. I’m supposed to be a therapist, someone who guides others to their own answers, but I’ve never been able to do that with myself.
Just as Stella comes to rest her slobbery wet mouth on my lap, offering her services to sulk with me while I fall deeper into depression, a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders before cradling me against his warm, hard chest. I would jump if I hadn’t smelled the familiar aftershave that he wears nearly every day. I lean into him and rest my head against his warmth, feeling instantly comforted by his presence.
“How did you know we’d be here?”
“Would you think badly of me if I said I’ve been secretly following you just to make sure you’re ok?”
He laughs nervously and I smile against his arm before kissing it.
“No. Maybe a little creepy, but ultimately, no,” I tell him while he maneuvers himself to sit behind me, placing his long legs on either side of me. Stella is instantly vying for his attention by giving him unapologetic slobbery kisses as well as wagging her tail like her life depends on it. Theo laughs softly against my neck before kissing it with the gentlest of touches.
“Dad called,” he says with a little strain in his voice, “they want to read the will at your parents’ place tomorrow afternoon.” I make no verbal reply, just sadly nod; it all seems too soon, too raw. “It means Ethan will be there, as well as Frankie.”
“I assumed as much,” I huff through my nose, “but you won’t leave my side, will you?”
“Not a chance in hell, Iz,” he answers with another of his soft kisses, “I’m never leaving you again. Iz.”
“Good,” I whisper as I close my eyes, taking comfort from this promise.
“I want you to come back to America with me,” he says, his words making me turn around suddenly so I can look into his eyes. I almost laugh because he’s nervous. As if I would ever say no to him. “I want you to move in with me. W-will you move in with me?”
We stare at one another for a few minutes, all the while I try to find my voice. I feel much too stunned by him asking me what I’ve wanted him to ever since he left me when I was fifteen years old.
“Yes,” I finally reply with a whimper in my voice. He instantly relaxes and pulls me in for a long, all-consuming kiss. “And Stella?”
“Of course, Stella,” he says between kisses. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Finally, something good.
_____
Theo
Izzy is a bundle of nerves, even Stella can sense it; she’s sticking to her side like glue, whimpering at me now and then to take note of our girl. I try to soothe the both of them, but seeing as Iz is not going to feel any better until all of this is over, there’s nothing I can do to help either of them except be here. I have to admit I’ve got my own concerns over today, mainly trying to stop myself from breaking Ethan’s fucking neck, the sick perverted bastard. I could easily swing for her father too. But losing my shit now isn’t going to help anyone, particularly Izzy.
The only positive thing is the fact that it’s a beautiful day, and as we drive down the motorway, back toward where everything started, Stella sticks her head out the window and enjoys letting her wet tongue fly out behind her. At least she’s found something to calm her nerves, unlike Izzy who is getting more and more agitated the closer we get closer to her old house. It looks like we’re the last to arrive when we get there, everyone’s cars are already blocking up the drive.
With this in mind, I swing by to Nonna’s old place at the last minute and park there. Izzy breaks her anxious daydreaming to look at me quizzically.
“I thought we could walk Stella through the woods, show her our old haunts,” I answer her silent question, smiling as I point to the old bridge.
“But we’re late already, aren’t we?”
She might be frowning but she also looks incredibly relieved.
“Nope,” I grin, looking at my watch, “we have two minutes to go. Besides, when has Izzy Chase ever worried about being on time? Or what her parents think of her for that matter?”
“Which ones?” she scoffs but continues to let Sella out the back.
I choose not to answer, for there is no answer to give her, so instead, I link my fingers through hers and head toward the woods she used to hide out in so often. They look exactly the same as they used to, even the bridge where we stop to play Pooh sticks for a little while. We take long moments to enjoy the sight of our big, silly puppy nose diving for stones that aren’t even the ones we threw in for her. Every time I deliver a kiss to Izzy, she seems to relax a little bit more, taking my presence as the comfort she needs to get her through the day.
