Chase, page 13
Theo
Izzy is the very last person I expected to see here tonight. It’s much to mainstream for a girl like her, and I can’t say I was happy to see her grinding up against some sleazy asshole on the dancefloor. Though, at least she put him in his place before I got to them. Dressed all in black, and with plenty of skin on show, she looks amazing. But out of character. Her makeup gives her a sexy edge but detracts from her naturally beautiful face, and her hair… actually, I can’t fault her hair. It’s hanging down in big curls over one side of her shoulder where it has been clipped back. I always loved the way she wore her hair down, flying all over the place; it captured her essence in every way. But it was never this ordered, never this styled. Just another part of her that’s lost at the moment.
She eyes Daniel and me with wariness, and I can’t help thinking she’s battling with both relief and fear, all at the same time. She wants to be saved but is too afraid to let anyone in, too afraid she’ll be let down all over again. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I know now I shouldn’t have let the pain of her being with someone else stop me from making sure she was ok. Because she wasn’t. I’m not sure she ever has been.
“Hi,” she finally says to Daniel before turning back to face me with her arms crossed over her body, hiding her exposed midriff with what could be described as shame. “What are you doing here?”
“I asked first,” I reply, just as seventeen-year-old me would have done when we reconnected in the school library. I smile, but she rolls her eyes, so I wipe it from my face. “Daniel and I are actually here on a work-related issue. We’re…babysitting.”
She frowns in confusion at the same time as Daniel grins, knowing this sounds weird to those not in the know. He takes pity on her perplexed expression and leans forward to introduce himself.
“Hi, I’m Daniel,” he says, holding out his hand, which she reluctantly takes hold of and shakes. “So, you’re the girl Theo’s been obsessing over for years?”
I smack the bastard round the back of the head all the while he chuckles at my expense. I’ll be giving him hell for that later. Izzy doesn’t look at all impressed either, though she keeps her hands to herself and merely takes a step back.
“Well, he shouldn’t bother wasting his time over me,” she huffs, “I’m a lost cause.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Daniel says, looking at her with a friendly smile. “From what I’ve heard, you sound like his perfect girl.”
“I’m not that girl anymore but thank you for the…compliment?” she says with a mask of a smile on her face. “Anyway, I’m gonna head back out. Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too,” he says, looking completely lost over this girl whom I’ve talked non-stop about for years. He turns to look at me in question, as though I have any more idea over what’s happened to her. She pays no attention to the exchange, simply turns around and leaves without another word. “Er, are you sure about this, Theo?”
“Deadly,” I reply without pause as I watch her slink through the endless crowd of bodies.
“You best go after her then,” he says with his hand slapping over my shoulder. “I can deal with Richards.”
“You sure?” I ask out of politeness, even though I’m already walking toward her, leaving him to chuckle behind me.
As I follow her through the throng of people, her head drops down to avoid the gaze of men looking for a good time, with some even trying to reach out for her. Someone cups her ass, and I want to lunge for him, but she just pushes him aside while she continues walking toward the back. She keeps moving until she reaches the edge of the stage where she finds a secluded spot to begin dancing again.
The music begins with a slow, sensual beat, and she sways her whole body in time. Her hips swivel in circles and she throws back her head, looking completely lost in her own mind. I move in closer, so I am almost touching her back with my chest. At first, I remain standing, appreciating the sensation of her moving the air in front of me. I take in the scent of her perfume, the smoothness of her skin, and the silkiness of her long hair. Before long, I can’t resist sliding my hands down the sides of her body, only stopping them when I reach the top of her hips. She doesn’t even bother to turn around to see who these strange hands belong to, instead, she moves her ass back against my groin. We slowly move and twist together, ignoring how fucked up this is.
As she increases the pressure of her body against mine, my hands move around to her front so I can hold her more tightly. She reciprocates, reaching her arms around to the back of my neck as I nuzzle my nose against the curve of her shoulder. I graze my lips against her soft skin, desperately wanting to lick and suck. She moans gently and it goes straight to my cock. I can’t help it; the delicate gasp that she emits from her throat has always had this effect on me.
As I harden to the point of pain, I decide to make her face me, so spin her around, expecting her to be surprised when she sees that it’s me. But she’s not. My heart pumps with force when I realize she’s letting me dance with her like this, even knowing it’s me. In fact, she thrusts her hips against mine and begins stroking my arms.
We stare into each other’s eyes, not once breaking contact. An urge that feels too strong for being in the middle of a nightclub takes over, and I lean in close to her face. So close, our lips are almost touching; I can feel her breath on my skin. Her chest is moving in and out so quickly, I can’t tell if she’s excited or scared. I choose to take my chance and press my lips against hers. She encourages me, kissing me back with the same lust I feel for her, and we instantly stop dancing. It’s like stepping back into a time machine, reigniting all of those feelings we had for one another when we were teenagers.
The kiss, the best of my life, is so intense, I grab hold of the back of her dress and begin exploring her with more hunger, more need, more desperation.
“God, Izzy, I’ve missed you so badly,” I mumble between taking her mouth like I’ve wanted to for so long.
I want her to say it back, to tell me she wants me just as much as I want her. But instead, she makes a small gasping noise of disgust, screws up her face, and shuts her eyes to me. As I move back to see what she’s about to do next, she shakes her head and bolts. Fucking bolts!
She runs as fast as she can through the crowd of people, pushing and shoving as she desperately tries to get as far away from me as possible. She moves so fast, I find it difficult to keep up with her, but I know I need to keep her in my sight, or I’ll risk losing her. She stops momentarily to talk to a girl who’s draped over some guy at one of the tables, grabs a bag, downs a drink, then takes flight again. She heads straight for the exit and leaves through the door without another look back. Fortunately, her stopping means I’m now only seconds behind her. So much so, I’m within reaching distance when we both hit the cold air outside.
Chapter 13
Izzy
When I feel a hand grab hold of me, I know it’s his, and I curse myself for letting our dance go as far as it did inside. It’s precisely what I’ve been protecting myself from for the past decade. I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to feel anymore; I barricaded myself from any kind of strong emotions. It felt safer to hide behind my mask of indifference, but when we kissed just now, I felt just as strongly as I did when I was fifteen years old. But I can’t… No, I won’t go through any of that again. It would surely destroy me once and for all.
Back to the here and now, and I find myself being pushed against a wall where Theo cages me within his arms, refusing to let me go all the while I thrash against him. People pass by, not even attempting to try and intervene. For all they know, this weirdo could be trying to attack me, and yet they look away, pretending not to see. Guess I should be used to this reaction; at least these people are strangers to me.
“Izzy! Izzy, please? Look, I’m sorry,” he cries out, trying his best to gain eye contact, but I refuse him and keep shaking my head to stop myself from giving in. “Please, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… Look, I got carried away, but I swear I just want to be your friend. Please, stop fighting me!” he practically shouts, the urgency in his voice evident.
He pulls me against his warm body, embracing me in such a way, I don’t have the physical or emotional energy left to fight him anymore. Eventually, I just slump, giving in to him, just like I did in that library all those years ago. Only then does his body release its tension, and he leans down to cup my face between his hands. I’m finally forced to give him the eye contact I was fighting so hard to avoid.
“Please, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I am here for you, Izzy. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to go near you…not if you don’t want me to.”
“You left!” I eventually cry when he refuses to stop looking at me as though he can see through all my bullshit. “You left and I…I died!”
And then, for the first time in years, I break down on him. I break down on somebody other than myself. But it isn’t through choice, and now I hate myself for it; I haven’t cried in years because I’m not sure I will ever be able to stop.
“But I won’t leave you now,” he says, stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down; it works to some extent. “I love you so much, Izzy, you’re my best friend, don’t you know that?” I can’t answer him through my sobs, so I just stand and let him hold me. “Will you come home with me? Please?”
After a moment or two, I concede by nodding my head, though I am still extremely unsure about all this. Before I can change my mind, he takes off his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. He then helps me walk down the street toward an awaiting black car. Once inside, he pulls me over and lets me rest my head on his lap where exhaustion hits me like an impenetrable wall. I fall almost instantly. Sleep is the best time of day for me; it means I’m out of reality, out of touch. Sometimes the nightmares find me, but if I’m lucky, I will have a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
_____
Izzy
I reluctantly wake from sleeping in the back of Theo’s car. And when I say, reluctantly, I mean he gently nudged me awake to inform me that we were back at Nonna’s house. As soon as I hear his low voice, the horrible realization that I had lost it in front of him only an hour ago has me wincing over how pathetic I must have looked. Rather than talk about it, I decide to make a rather ungraceful exit from the car.
“Er, thanks, Theo, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I mumble, quickly heading straight for my salvation at the top of the staircase.
“Wait, Izzy,” he snaps, as though it’s an order, “turn around.”
The surprising thing is, and for reasons unknown to me, I do as he says. I can only say my humiliating moment of vulnerability has me back to being the submissive little girl I used to be. I need to snap out of this role and fast; I’ve not done what other people tell me to for a long time.
“Seeing as we’re announcing our engagement tomorrow, I think you should start wearing this,” he says, shocking me completely when he produces Nonna’s ring from his pocket.
“Have you been carrying this around with you on the off chance a situation like this will arise?” I ask as I take it from his fingers and pop it straight into my bag. “You do know it’s not a real engagement, don’t you?”
“Oh, believe me, I’m well aware of that, Iz,” he replies with a sigh, knowing my moment of weakness is now over. “However, you need to get used to wearing it around other people. I also refuse to be made to look a fool when you go out grinding up against other guys. Not to mention the fact that you leading them on and then dropping them isn’t exactly safe, now is it?”
“How dare you!” I finally snap at his arrogance, as well as his condescending tone. “Listen, Theodore, I’ve looked after myself for the past decade, and believe me, I’ve had to deal with a lot worse than some idiot with a bruised ego. How many girls have you led on over the years? Don’t stand there judging me because I like to have a good time!”
“But you don’t do you?” he calls out after me, making me stop statue-still on the step. “You don’t enjoy all that kind of stuff, Izzy, you never have. It’s like you’re punishing yourself, or them, or both of you. Tell me, have you ever actually been with a man?”
I throw my head up to the ceiling and close my eyes, allowing just one tear to escape before I face him head on. He has no idea what he’s asking me. Neither am I going to tell him though.
“I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re trying to ask me,” I tell him with venom, though I’m not necessarily aiming this at him. He could be anyone right now and I’d be just as angry, purely because of the subject matter. He sighs once more before shoving his hands in his pockets. The look of pity or shame on his face has my blood boiling, so I let him have it.
“Sorry to disappoint you but I didn’t wait for you to come riding in on your horse to rescue me and take my ‘virtue’. I gave up on your promises a long time ago.”
“That’s not what I was thinking,” he says sadly.
“Good,” I snap. “Goodnight, Theo.”
I run up the staircase as quickly as I can so I can hightail it to my room and slam the door on this awful night. I feel so incredibly dirty right now that I instantly head for the shower where I turn it on to ice cold. I don’t even bother to undress before I slump to the floor under the running stream of water, allowing the freezing temperature to turn me numb, right down to the bone.
_____
Theo
“Hey man, how’d it go?” Daniel yawns down the phone at me. I’ve already been up a few hours, but I can tell he’s not long been out of bed.
“Blew it,” I reply bluntly, albeit truthfully. “Too much, too soon.” He laughs at the same time as I sigh. “How was Richards? Behave himself?”
Calvin Richards is one of our newest clients, as in, the ink on the paper is still wet. However, if we play our cards right, he should make us a nice, tidy sum. That being said, he’s a risk due to his awful reputation, so we have to do some damage control before we can get him signed up to some new projects. They’re keen for his talent but cautious over his headlines. What can I say? Daniel and I always attract these types; whoever is behind them knows we won’t shy away, and we’ll get them a great deal with a new, squeaky-clean reputation.
“Three women,” Daniel replies, to which I wince. “He left with three fucking women last night. One of them is an up-and-coming pop singer; she must have only just turned eighteen!”
“Fuck,” I mutter as I rub my temples; I feel a headache coming on. “Any drugs?”
“I don’t think so, thank God, but who knows after he got back to his own place,” he says, sounding doubtful.
“Well, at least it wasn’t in the public eye. Listen, I gotta go. We have this fake engagement party tonight, so I best go and do my own personal damage control with Izzy.”
“Good luck, man, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”
He hangs up just as I hear the front door burst open. I quickly make my way into the kitchen where I’m shocked to see Izzy covered in perspiration. She’s been running and is covered in dirt from the woods behind the house. She begins stretching out, not making any eye contact, even though I can’t take my eyes off her body contorting itself into different shapes.
“What?” she accuses, still panting from her exercise.
“Er, I’m sorry,” I reply, still sounding distracted by her insane figure. I shake it off before continuing so I sound genuine instead of perverted. “I didn’t mean to get personal last night. I meant it when I said I am here for you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she says with a shrug, but I can tell she’s still pissed. She puts on one of her fake smiles before walking over to the sink to get some water. She downs two glasses, then turns to talk to me. “Is there anything you want me to do for tonight?”
“Nope, I’ve got that covered,” I reply, pretending not to pick up on her frosty attitude. “You just need to be here at about six thirty.”
“Sure,” she says, making a move toward where I’m standing. “I’ll be out for most of the day, so I’ll meet you then.” As she moves past me, I grab for her hand, but she flinches under my touch before quickly pulling away altogether.
“We’ve got to at least act like we’re a couple, Izzy,” I say softly, trying to look her in the eye, “you can’t flinch every time I touch you.”
“I know,” she says, sounding like a petulant teenager all over again. “I just haven’t…er…look, never mind. I’ll be fine, you can touch away tonight. I can put on a good act.”
She winks at me with her game mask on, then flies down the hall to get as far away from me as possible. I’m starting to fear I will never get her back; I may have lost her before I’ve even found her.
_____
Izzy
After the heaviness of last night, I find myself grinning widely and unashamedly when I see Will, a guy who has absolutely nothing to do with Theo or my past, waiting for me in the forest car park. I need this distraction desperately. His black Labrador is wagging its tail like it’s a completely separate entity and therefore has no control over its maniacal movements. Will moves out of the way of my bike, then laughs when I remove my helmet. He looks shocked over my choice of vehicle; to be fair, I only picked it up from Penny’s garage this morning, but it felt really good to let go of all that occurred between Theo and me last night. Of course, now I’ve stopped the delicious purr of the engine, it’s all starting to seep in again.
“Bet you didn’t know I had one of these bad boys?” I cannot help but laugh over his wide eyes and gaping mouth. His dog barks at me but keeps his friendly tail wagging.
“Wow, you look pretty hot on a motorbike, Iz,” he says with a smirk as he looks over my ride, his envy almost palpable through his giddy expression. “It suits you.”
“Thanks, I think?” I frown as I lift a finger to my mouth in mock thought.
“Definitely a compliment, own it,” he says, helping me dismount my bike. I lock away my helmet and then I’m ready to go, with Will leading the way.
