Women of Courage, page 33
‘Here,’ he says, handing Faith an item of clothing. She stands up, holding it out in front of her. It looks like a skirt but it is actually sewn in two parts like a pair of trousers. ‘They’re Margaret’s, I don’t believe she has worn them in years so she won’t mind if I give them to you.’
Faith blushes again. ‘I am not so sure she won’t mind.’
‘I promise you it will be fine. Go and try them on.’
Smiling as she heads up to her room, she’s excited to be trying on something so modern. Surprisingly they fit well, although a little loose and definitely a little short, but it means Faith can swing her legs around and still be covered up. She looks down at her right foot which is now clearly on display. Her instinct is to put her skirt back on, to hide her disfigurement from him. Then again, it might just be repulsive enough to put him off me.
Entering the kitchen again she finds Geoffrey is not there. The door’s propped open, so she goes out into the yard. He’s just coming out of the storage shed pushing a bike. When he sees her, a boyish smirk appears on his face. She grins back at him as he pushes the bike over, never once looking down at her feet, although they’re clear to see.
‘I’ve lowered the seat, try it for size.’
Nervous now, Faith steps over the bar and positions herself on the seat. Once sitting down, she can only reach the ground with her toes. She tilts the bike slightly so her left foot is fully on the ground supporting the bike, and her right foot clangs against the chain. She looks up at Geoffrey in dismay.
‘Here.’ Kneeling, he picks up her right foot.
Shaking her leg, she makes Geoffrey let go. Her heartbeat drums loudly in her ears and she feels sick. No one but Nell has ever touched her foot, not even Bertie. Loathing for her deformity seethes through her mind every day.
‘I’m sorry, I should have told you what I was going to do. I’m just going to place it on the pedal, that’s all.’
He reaches for her foot again and Faith has to fight every nerve in her body to resist pulling away from his touch again. Astonishment makes her look at him with new eyes.
‘Right, now you’re ready. I’m going to hold onto the handlebars so you don’t have to worry about falling and you are going to put your other foot on the pedal, right?’
Nodding, she cautiously lifts her leg. The bike instantly wobbles and she puts it back down again straight away.
‘I won’t let you fall, I promise, surely a little wobble doesn’t scare you?’
‘Oh, but it does!’
This time, Faith trusts his strong arms to hold the bike securely, putting her foot on the pedal despite the wobbling. The next quarter of an hour is spent with Geoffrey running alongside the bike as Faith gets to grips with the pedals and keeping her balance. Eventually, he let the bike go and she goes riding down the lane by herself, laughing giddily. Stopping first proves a little difficult, but she soon gets to grips with leaning to the left so she can put her good foot down to steady herself.
Her first fall has Geoffrey turning white, which sends Faith into fits of giggles. When she’s confident enough they decide to go for a ride down the lane heading for the stream on the far side of the estate. Geoffrey fetches a canteen which he fills with water and Faith throws together cold meats, cheese and bread, placing the lunch in the basket, which hangs on her handlebars.
The feel of the breeze against her cheeks seems to wash away all her cares, making her laugh and filling her with joy. After an hour of riding they find a place to stop. Working together, they spread the rug under the shade of an old oak. Then, after dividing the food, they sit in comfortable silence as they eat, as they watch the birds sing and dance in the air over the water.
With the picnic’s finished, Geoffrey lies back, placing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. Faith lies down on her side, propping her head up, using her arm as support.
‘Thank you for today. Riding a bike is so exhilarating and I would never have experienced that without you.’
Geoffrey rolls onto his side, propping his head up, mirroring her position. ‘I can honestly say it has been my utmost pleasure.’ As he gazes into her doe-like eyes, he wants to say so much more but, conscious of his promise, he remains silent and doesn’t reveal his feelings.
After a short rest they take a walk and Geoffrey regales her with stories from his childhood, making her laugh. He loves it when she smiles; her whole face changes, sparkling with life. And when she scrunches up her little Grecian nose in laughter, he yearns to reach over and kiss it. He knows, as the day proceeds and they get to know each other better, that he has found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. A need to make her smile and laugh is now deeply embedded in his heart.
Riding the bikes back in the late afternoon proves to be difficult for Faith, as the path slopes gently upwards and she’s tired, so her right foot keeps slipping off the pedal. In the end they walk side by side, pushing the bikes.
Back in the courtyard Geoffrey takes the bike off her.
‘I’ll make some tea and bring it to the dining room for you, m’lord.’
He’d just been so happy and now he feels as if she’s thrown a bucket of cold water over him. He is so hurt he can’t answer so walks off without replying.
Faith is lighting the stove to boil some water when he comes into the kitchen.
‘I will be in the library. You can bring my supper there.’ His voice is cold and emotionless as he walks into the hall without a backward glance.
Chapter 9
Merry laughter fills the tiny house as they sew the finishing touches into their dresses for the wedding. The giddy sisters have embraced not only Nell into their family, but also Bertie and Faith. Their generous spirit of loving kindness is something that Faith had not expected.
Eva already considers Bertie her little brother and sole responsibility, dedicating every spare moment to playing with him. They are in the yard now as she chases him around with a jug of water, threatening to soak him. The back door’s propped open, allowing the musky-mellow September breeze to wash through the house. As the women sit with dresses on their laps, they stop to watch, laughing at Bertie’s ‘please catch me’ run.
‘I’ve finished!’ declares Maisy standing up and holding her dress against her body.
‘‘Tis beautiful, the soft blues reflect your loveliness so well,’ says Nell.
‘Well enough for Douglas to notice me, do ew think?’
Everyone agrees it will surely catch the young man’s eye.
‘And what if you get his attention but then after a while he returns home to Scotland?’ asks Faith.
The glaze pales in Maisy’s eyes. ‘I tell ew the truth see. That very same thought has been in my mind most repeatedly. Do ew think a man might take to a new home, if he was to fall in love?’
‘I am sure he might, but before you fill your head with questions of love you should take the time to get to know him, find out if he’s worth his salt,’ answers Nell. ‘There, I’m finished now as well.’
Ooh’s echo around the room as the girls gather around Nell, who’s holding up her deep-blue dress for all to see.
‘Oh Mam, ‘tis right pretty.’
Nell smiles at Faith, joy radiating from her eyes.
‘The pearl buttons Lady Driscoll gave ew just add that special touch, don’t ew think Mrs. Miller?’ says Elaine, reaching up to touch the row of tiny buttons that run down the back of the dress.
‘Lady Driscoll gave you buttons?’ asks Faith in surprise.
‘Yes, but more than that, she asked me two Sundays after you started working at Driscoll, if I would have use of some odd sewing things she had. Of course I said yes. The next day she turns up with a huge hamper of bits and pieces, including the fabric which I used to make your new blouse. All sorts of pretty trinkets inside, which I have been putting to good use.’
‘She’s sooo kind,’ sighs Amy.
‘Yes, a more respectable lady there never was,’ says Nell.
Faith cringes, had her mother just compared her to lady Driscoll and inadvertently reminded Faith of her failings?
‘Shall we go now?’ asks Maisy. ‘I’m sure Pa will be waiting on his swper (supper) now.’
‘Yes, let’s go,’ replies Nell. Before they go, she takes the dress upstairs, and lays it carefully upon Faith’s bed.
With chattering louder than the chug-chug of the colliery winding-engines’ pistons, the ladies pile into the butchers. Suddenly, Faith is overcome with a feeling of not belonging. She turns to Nell. ‘I’ll be off now.’
‘Don’t be silly, come along in and have super with us,’ says Amy, linking her arm through Faith’s.
‘Stay, Faith, stay,’ adds Bertie, before running into the house calling out Eva’s name.
As she watches him it feels as if her heart is breaking; he’s already comfortable enough to think of the butchers as his second home. She’s glad he’s happy, and over-the-moon that he will never be hungry again, but a bitter, bitter taste fills her mouth as she realizes he’s moving away from their special bond.
Nell puts her arm through Faith’s other arm, and so she’s marched into the butchers by the two women who won’t let her leave. The wonderful smell of lamb cawl (stew) floats through the house and shop and pulls everyone straight to the kitchen.
‘I’ll not lie to ew. If ew hadn’t turned up soon see, into that pot I would have dived and not sure I be, that there would be any left for ew women,’ says Bernard, his smile making wrinkles appear around his eyes.
His daughters leave him gazing lovingly towards Nell, as they flurry around fetching bowls, spoons and cups to the table.
‘I hope ew don’t mind, but to dinner I have invited old Griffin.’ Bernard looks at Nell with raised bushy eyebrows.
‘Of course not, the more the merrier I say,’ answers Nell.
‘I’ll fetch another stool,’ adds Amy.
Just as the last pieces of the evening meal have been put down on the table, there’s a knock on the back door. Amy pulls open the door and lets the old miner in.
‘Boy, do ew have good timing, henwr! (old man). Sit ew down now at the head of the table, Griffin.’
‘Well, it’s like this see. If ew get invited to dinner where the house is tipping over with the weight of sooo many women, well, ew have to take no risks see, and get yourself a plate of swper before it’s all gone.’
‘Ach-y-fi, ‘tis rubbish ew do talk henwr,’ laughs Maisy. ‘Now pass me your bowl and let me fill it before I change my mind.’
Everyone’s bowl is full, and chattering comes to a stop as all eyes turn to Bernard. ‘Let us pray,’ he says. They bow their heads and he thanks God for the food they are about to eat, and for lots of other things as well. At one point his daughters begin opening their eyes to look at their newly converted father, wondering if he would come to an end so they might eat their cawl before it goes cold. ‘Amen,’ he finishes.
‘Amen,’ is repeated by all, including Bertie. All, that is, except Faith.
Munching on a large mouthful of bread, Bertie looks at Faith. ‘Ew didn’t say rr’men.’
Faith’s face flushes rich pink as she reaches for some bread and ignores him.
‘You didn’t say rr’men,’ Bertie repeats.
‘Not everyone prays, bachgen (lad),’ says Bernard.
Faith looks at him in gratitude.
‘Why not?’ asks Bertie.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ says Nell. ‘Now eat your food.’
Bertie stares into his bowl, clearly puzzled and frustrated.
‘I don’t believe in Him, that’s why I don’t talk to Him,’ Faith blurts out.
The sisters carry on eating and passing things around the table, whilst Nell, Bernard and Griffin openly stare at her.
‘What? Would you have me lie to my own...’
‘Faith!’ Nell half rises from her chair as she realizes what her daughter is about to say. Both women glare at each other, but when Faith doesn’t finish the sentence, Nell slowly sits back down.
‘Ew know, those penstif (obstinate) pit ponies and donkeys are finally beginning to work once more?’
Everyone looks at Griffin, who has deliberately broken the tension.
‘The ponies?’ asks Elaine.
‘Aye, the pit ponies,’ answers Griffin.
‘What happened to them?’ asks Amy.
‘Well see, it wasn’t what happened to the ponies like, it was what happened to the miners that caused all the problems, in it.’
‘What was that?’ asks Faith.
Bernard knows the story and so starts tucking into his slowed-cooked lamb with gusto.
‘Well ew see, since this yer diwygiad happened the men have stopped their cussing and blaspheming and turned to more genteel language.’ He scoops a few hurried spoons of food into his mouth before looking up again. Puzzled faces look back at him. Chuckling, he takes his time savoring the cawl. Then looking up, he finds all eyes are still on him, as they wait to hear the rest.
‘Any lady can go down the pit now and not blush, not even once, for hearing something offensive she will not.’
‘Ack-uh-vee! What about the donkeys?’ demands Eva.
‘Well, it’s like they all went deaf, see. No matter how many times they was politely asked to move, the stubborn mules refused to budge. Like statues they became, so they did, like fine pieces of art in a grand museum.’
‘What was wrong with them?’ asks Amy.
‘They didn’t understand the instructions anymore, see. They were so used to cussing to get them moving, that they no longer understood the miners, who have all had their mouths washed out with heavenly soap!’
There is the slightest pause before everyone around the table starts laughing.
‘‘Tis the truth I speak, so I do. It’s taken months to re-train them to obey new instructions. They did put the colliery right behind on its production schedules. Even Laird Anderson has come to visit the mines to find out what was happening.’
There is no need to explain who Anderson is, for a lot of the collieries in South Wales belong to the Scotsman.
‘I surely would have liked to be down those mines. Watching the miners trying to make the donkeys move must have been a funny sight,’ says Amy.
‘Aye, ‘tis indeed a funny thing this diwygiad, a touching and a changing a person it be, and all for the better. Have ew not seen a change in your own daughters, Bernard?’ Although Griffin is asking the butcher a question, his eyes are fixed firmly on Faith.
Feeling his stare, she can ignore it no longer and lifts her head to look back at him. His leather-like, sun-kissed face, full of wrinkles and blemishes, looks back at her with somber austerity. Knowing eyes study her over a huge bulbous red nose. She feels uncomfortable and fidgets in her seat.
‘Now that ew should mention it, I have! I thought it was Mrs. Miller’s good influence over them, but to be honest like, I think they’ve been changing since this year past. Yes, yes indeed, now I consider it, it’s been ever since they first went to listen to that young Evan Roberts, when he was preaching over in Cardiff.’ Bernard regards his daughters who are all looking at him with love. His eyes swim with emotion. ‘I didn’t hear ew,’ he whispers.
Amy jumps up and comes behind him, giving him a huge hug. ‘‘Tis not us ew had to hear, Pa. Ew wouldn’t know until ew felt the Lord yourself.’
He pats her hand, not ashamed to embrace in public, as he had been but a month ago. ‘‘Tis full of joy ew all have been,’ says Bernard.
Amy gives him a kiss on his cheek, before going back to her seat.
‘Now I tell ew the truth,’ continues Griffin, ‘since a young lad a Christian I have been. Faithful all my days in the best way I knew how.’ He continues looking directly at Faith, who puts down her spoon, finding herself getting lost in his deep rich accent.
‘But since this yer movement of Duw has swept through Wales like a tidal wave, I have been a changed man. Oh, and ‘tis praying I be, that I’ll never change back. All my doubts and my questionings have been dispersed as the joy and the peace of Duw has soothed my soul. Yet, I am a weak man and my sins do plague me still, even amid this glorious movement. Should be easy, should it not, for a man on fire to remain true and good? Nothing good comes easy ew mark my words, for something worth having often requires some sort of sacrifice.’
Faith develops a lump in throat. Scrunching up her toes she tries fighting back the emotions that are battling to be released.
‘Do ew know when I was in Ebenzer’s a few months back, I heard the Rev. D Collier say, ‘the mistakes in his life had been many but, praise be to God, who declares that we are truly loved and truly forgiven’. Aye, since that sermon I tell ew, Psalm 103 has become most precious to me. For it states that...
He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.
Forgiveness is most precious, but not only to offering it unto others but in accepting it for ourselves.’
Faith pushes her chair back and squeezes words out of a tight throat. ‘I need to get back. I don’t want to be walking in the dark. Night everyone, I will see you in two weeks at the wedding.’
‘Nos da chi,’ the sisters say with worry filled eyes.
‘Nos da chi, Faith bach,’ says Bernard, watching her as she hastens to the door.
‘Faith, stay,’ cries Bertie, climbing down from his chair and running after her, his little chin wobbling.
She leans down and cups his face in her hands and puts on her gentlest smile. ‘I will be back soon.’ She kisses his forehead. ‘You be good now.’
Eva comes over and picks him up. ‘Will ew sleep with me tonight, my little man?’
All dejection is gone in a split second. ‘Will ew sing to me?’
‘Oh aye, yes I will.’
Faith catches a sob in her mouth, and turning she flees before it can escape. I should be singing to him. It’s me who should tuck him into his bed, me, me, me.
