Off Limits (The Limits Series Book 1), page 1
Off Limits
Limits Series Book 1
Shayna Astor
Off Limits
Copyright © 2022 Shayna Astor
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, locations, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or deceased, or actual events, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotation in book reviews. For more information, address shaynaastorauthor@gmail.com
Edited by Heart Full of Reads
Edited by NiceGirlNaughtyEdits
Cover Designer Coffin Print Designs
Formatting Caelan Fine
From the Author
Off Limits is a full-length, stand alone that features strong language, mature situations, explicit sexual scenes, abandonment, alcohol use, promiscuous behavior, and death of a loved one. This book is intended for readers age 18 and up.
To some, Shay may be considered an annoying character. This is intentional in many ways as her relationship with Lochlyn is her first real relationship. Her growth is meant to be big and take place over multiple books.
Thank you so much for reading my novel! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Contents
Other Books by Shayna Astor
Dedication
1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 7
8. Chapter 8
9. Chapter 9
10. Chapter 10
11. Chapter 11
12. Chapter 12
13. Chapter 13
14. Chapter 14
15. Chapter 15
16. Chapter 16
17. Chapter 17
18. Chapter 18
19. Chapter 19
20. Chapter 20
21. Chapter 21
22. Chapter 22
23. Chapter 23
24. Chapter 24
25. Epilogue
Playlist
Coming Soon
Setting Limits
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by Shayna Astor
Hot & Cold
Shattered Pieces
Own Me (A dark romance)
Off Limits (Book 1 in the Limits Series)
Setting Limits (Book 2 in the Limits Series. Coming December 20 2022)
Stay tuned for the last two books in the Limits series in early spring 2023.
Dedication
To every one who ends up with the one they
always knew they wanted.
Chapter 1
Lochlyn Reynolds is the one boy I want to date. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.
He’s the guy I want to share my first kiss with. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.
He’s who I want to be with. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.
Maybe if I repeat it enough times, I’ll start to believe it. I’ll stop dreaming about his hands on me. Stop drooling over him as I watch the rivulets of water flow down his impeccably toned chest and abs as he climbs out of the pool. So far, it hasn’t worked. Nothing can happen with Lochlyn. He’s your best friend’s brother. Her very, devastatingly handsome and sexy older brother.
Already I’m on the cusp of losing my so-called resolve.
Humid July air wraps its thickness around us on this starlit night. Eyes glued to the crackling fire, Lochlyn slouches in his Adirondack chair to my right. He’s been home from Cornell for eight weeks now, and though we see each other almost daily, this is the first time we’ve been able to get time alone together. Time I cherish.
Chelsea, my best friend and his sister, left for bed hours ago. She’s never been a night owl; she’s usually ready to go to sleep by ten o’clock, but wakes up at six every morning. I’m the opposite—staying up late, then wishing to sleep all day.
We’d spent the day at their house swimming and lounging by the pool, coming back to my house for Chinese food and a fire. I expected Lochlyn to leave when Chelsea did, but he’s made no move to rise from his chair. I appreciate the company, especially his.
“So, how are you? Really?” His feet almost reach the fire pit as he stretches out his six-foot-two frame. I’m acutely aware of how close his chair is to mine, so much so that I could slide my hand and touch his. But I can’t do that. Because of Chelsea. She’s been my rock for the past year, and my best friend for fifteen. Not to mention, I’m sure he doesn’t see me that way.
“I’m okay.”
He tilts his head, frowning. One thin lock of his light brown hair falls into his eyes. The sides are still cut short, but the part on top looks like it’s grown a little longer than he usually keeps it. “Shay. Come on.”
I release a low breath as I pull at a string on the hem of my shirt. My lips curl down in a way that I try to fight around everybody else. “I don’t know. Every day is different. I didn’t just lose my dad. I lost my family. I basically never see or talk to my mom anymore. If I do, it’s about the store, while at the store. We’re like passing ships in the night. And I miss her, which I hate to even admit because what eighteen-year-old misses their mom? Especially because she’s still here…she’s just not here.”
Dad passed away a year ago come September. It was one week and four months before I turned eighteen. Lochlyn had come home from college for the funeral, staying six days instead of the one night I’d expected. He and Chelsea spent that time with me, keeping me from being alone. Lochlyn sat with me, talked to me, let me cry. Unlike Chelsea, he never tried to cheer me up or take my mind off it. He let me mourn.
Those few days he was home was when I started having real feelings for him. I’d always had a crush, always appreciated how gorgeous he is. That week changed things. We’d often spent a lot of time together since he and Chelsea have always had a close sibling bond. Close enough that she told both of us when she lost her virginity at sixteen, which, in hindsight, was a mistake because he got very protective and angry.
What changed things was his gentleness with me, his overwhelming sense of calm. It certainly helped when he pulled me against him after the funeral. Lochlyn and Chelsea had me sandwiched between them on the porch swing as I bawled. When she got up to get me a water, Lochlyn had pulled me into his toned chest and held me.
Tucking one of my dark brown curls behind my ear, I continue, “I haven’t even heard from Logan in months, let alone seen her. It’s not like we were that close, but she’s my sister.”
Shaking my head, willing away the tears, I go on, “I don’t feel like I’m on a good path. I delayed Cornell. My dad had been so happy when I applied. ‘My baby going to my alma mater—nothing would make me happier.’ That’s what he’d said when I’d filled out the application. And now? I should be packing my things and leaving in a couple weeks. Instead, I’m staying here, going to community college, and working at my parents’ store. The one thing I swore I’d never do.”
“You’ll get to Cornell. It’s temporary. You’re doing it for your family.”
I scoff, slouching in my seat. “What family?” How can what we’ve become constitute as a family anymore? I spend more time blocking out the pain of losing all my blood relations in one day than I care to admit. Especially because two of them are still alive, choosing not to be available.
Filling my lungs, I speak louder. “I’m just afraid I’ll get stuck. That I’ll get stuck here, working at the store, going to community college. That’s not what I want for myself. And I’m dragging Chelsea down with me.” I’ve never admitted that to anyone, let alone myself.
The feeling of Lochlyn’s hand on mine startles me, and tingles ping through my entire body. When I turn to look at him, his blue eyes, which appear darker in the night, are fixed on me. “You’ll get out, Shay. And Chelsea made her own choice. You didn’t ask her to stay. She did that on her own.”
“Yeah, but she did it for me. And your parents were so mad.” Chelsea had delayed her acceptance to Cornell as I did. “She didn’t have to. She could have kept on the straight and narrow. But Chelsea doesn’t have a path. She zigs and zags. While she may be using you as an excuse to stay, I could have seen this happening without you. And my parents will get over it. If they wanted more say, they could be around more.” He says the last part with a bite to his tone.
But he’s right. Chelsea’s grades almost weren’t good enough to get her into Cornell. It’s just another glaring reminder of how starkly different Chelsea and Lochlyn are. Aside from their looks, Chelsea being much fairer than Lochlyn, with hair so blonde it’s almost white, Lochlyn’s exceptionally smart. He graduated top of his class in high school, in a group of over two hundred, and from what he says, is doing very well at Cornell. He studies, but not nearly as much as Chelsea needs to. Things come easier to him.
It’s just one more thing I find attractive about Lochlyn. Looking at him, you’d be sure he’s just a pretty face with those piercing blue eyes and sharp cheekbones. But his intelligence shines through in a simple conversation.
“Aside from worrying about Cornell and Chelsea, how are you? How is Shay?” I must not have given him
How do I answer that?
“Honestly? I don’t know. I kind of feel lost. Like I don’t have direction, like I don’t know where I belong. Before my dad got sick, it was pretty clear cut. Get good grades, get into a good college, and leave. Now, though? It’s not clear at all.” I hesitate before treading further. “Sorry, I know that was more about college. I guess it’s just at the forefront of my mind.”
“It’s okay. Whatever you’re thinking, you can talk to me.”
My eyes fall to my hem, where I start picking at my shirt again. “I don’t know. My dad’s death anniversary is coming up in two months. It sounds far away, but it’s almost still surreal that he’s gone at all. I can’t explain this weird feeling.
“My mom’s still so broken. I don’t blame her really, because they’d been married almost thirty years. Suddenly, he’s just…gone.” Part of me feels like I should have more emotion behind this sentiment. Instead, I feel numb. “Thank God for Chelsea. I really don’t know what I’d have done without her this past year.”
Feeling a squeeze on my hand, I turn my dark brown eyes to him. “What do you say we have some fun the rest of the summer? Try to take your mind off things?”
My heart flutters when he says we. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“What are your thoughts on things like, I don’t know, skydiving?”
My eyes widen. “Um, not so good.”
He chuckles. “How about bungee jumping?”
“I’m sorry, have you met me?” My eyes narrow, the fingers of my free hand pressing against my chest as I lean forward slightly in my chair.
I’ve never known Lochlyn to be that much of a daredevil. In fact, I can’t think of a time he’s done anything he shouldn’t do, aside from attending a party or two. Right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was just aiming to make the conversation lighthearted.
His chuckle turns into a laugh. My pulse speeds up at the sound. “Okay, so no crazy stunts. How about the shore? Would you want to drive down to shore one day?”
“A beach day sounds great, but I’m not sure I should leave my mom. I told her I’d be at the store every day to help out.”
He nods, running his fingertips along his bottom lip, drawing my attention to his mouth and how much I wish he’d press it against mine. Heat crawls through my body, and I just hope it doesn’t reach my cheeks as I think about what his lips might feel like.
I shake my head at the thought. Off limits. There’s also the glaring fact that he doesn’t look at me that way.
Pulling his fingers away from his mouth, he throws his hand in the air. “Welp, I guess that just means we’ll have to find things to do at home, like lounging by the pool. Maybe a few parties…?”
“Maybe. We’ll see.”
He nods. “I know, you’re not much of the party girl. But it could be worth trying, at least this summer while you’re feeling off.”
“Lounging by the pool sounds nice.” Especially because then I’ll get to see him without his shirt on. The tattoos he’s gotten since he turned eighteen make him even sexier. Especially the lyrics he has scrawled along the side of his left rib cage. It was the first tattoo he got, quickly adding other lyrics on his inner right bicep, and a sword down the back of his left forearm.
Damn it. I shake my head again, trying to disperse the thoughts, as though they’d tumble to the ground in chunks of words. “Okay, I don’t want to talk about me anymore. Tell me about you, about school.”
His hand pulls against mine slightly as his shoulder rises and falls. “Not much to tell, really.”
“Oh, come on. You just finished your second year. What’s it like?”
“It’s fun. It’s nice to have fewer responsibilities. My dad can’t check every report card for grades or call the teachers. The freedom’s nice, the parties are pretty awesome.”
“And the girls?” I’m painfully aware of Lochlyn’s reputation as being “a sex god,” so even though I asked the question, I don't really wish to know his answer. According to the rumors, which he has neither confirmed nor denied, he slept his way through the entire girls’ volleyball and field hockey teams, and earned this title from them at school. I’m sure college has been no different.
My insides twist as he smirks. “The girls are nice.” He shoots me a sideways glance, causing heat to rise to my face. I’m not sure how much Chelsea has shared with him in terms of my entirely nonexistent sexual history. She’d told me she keeps me out of most conversations. But I don't believe her. Not wanting to know more, I don’t press. Lochlyn and I are worlds apart in this area.
He can have any girl he wants, he knows it, and often does if the rumors are to be believed. And he doesn’t want me. Why would he? I’m his little sister’s best friend. She’s also forbidden it. She’s told us both, several times, that she is absolutely not at all okay with it.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy his presence—one that I’m acutely aware is missing when he’s at college—while I have it. He is the star of my dreams, after all.
We sit watching the flames for a few minutes, the only sounds the crackling of wood and the occasional distant chirp of a cricket.
“Can I tell you something I haven’t told anybody?” My voice is so quiet I’m not quite sure he heard me until he intertwines our fingers. For a moment, I stop breathing and turn to look at him. His eyes are on me, waiting for me to share.
I take a deep breath, preparing myself. “I feel horrible for thinking this, but I almost feel like it’s better my dad’s gone. He was in so much pain, so miserable. It was awful seeing him like that.”
“I remember.” Lochlyn had come by every time he was home while my dad was sick. Since we’d grown up together, our families had always been close. He came to see him before he left for school, just a few weeks before my dad passed.
Tears spill from my eyes without warning. I reach up to wipe them away, but Lochlyn beats me to it, leaning over in his chair, keeping his hand in mine while also gently swiping a thumb across my cheek.
It may just be my imagination, but his hand hovers against my jaw for a moment before he settles back in his seat.
“I saw how broken my mom was, how broken she still is. Logan can’t even bear to call. And somehow, I just feel at peace. I don’t know, maybe I’m the one who’s broken. I didn’t even cry at the funeral. I mean, I did after, but that was kind of it. I know I’m crying right now, but it’s more for feeling…guilty. That I’m not more upset. I kind of always sense it’s right there, on the cusp of breaking free, but it never really does. And the times it does, it always just feels like it’s something else.” I shake my head, looking down at my lap. “I don’t know, maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
“Shay. Shay, look at me.” I turn my face to him, his blue eyes gentle. “There is nothing wrong with you. I was here with you after the funeral. You didn’t shed a few tears. You cried, truly cried. Just because you weren’t more upset then, that you aren’t breaking down every day, doesn’t mean you’re broken. I know you miss your dad. He was a great man. And I’m sure you’ve been upset more often than you realize.”
He pauses, looking pensive. “You’re one of the most down to earth, mature, and intelligent people I have the pleasure of knowing. I think you look at the situation differently. I think you can look at it and see that your dad was suffering. That while you lost him and miss him, he’s no longer miserable. That’s not being broken, Shay. That doesn’t mean you don’t miss or didn’t love your dad.”
His words make tears pour faster from my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s what he said or missing my dad. He’s right, I do miss my dad, every day. My dad was always the first one up in the morning, making breakfast for everybody. Every morning he said the same thing, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It sets the tone for your entire day.”
I look up, wiping the tears and sniffling a little. Then, I break out into a small smile. “Ya know, after he died, I couldn’t eat breakfast. For weeks. I just completely skipped it. I haven’t had a real breakfast since then. I alternate between a piece of fruit, a handful of cereal, a granola bar. Anything quick and easy that doesn’t require real cooking, since I never really learned the basics.”
