Off Limits (The Limits Series Book 1), page 27
With a quick change of position, he spins me around to face him, hands grabbing under my thighs as he lifts me up, flipping off the burner and pushing the pan to the back of the stove.
“I think I burned my eggs,” I say against his lips.
“I’ll make you new ones.” His mouth claims mine as he starts walking toward his room.
Lochlyn has his mouth around my nipple with my fingers tangled in his hair while we lie on the bed when my phone starts ringing.
“Ignore it,” he says against my chest. I have no intentions of doing anything but just that.
My back arches and I squeak as he presses into me, his mouth latching onto my neck.
For the past four days and nights, he’s alternated between slow and sensual, and hard and fast, bending and twisting my body to meet his desires. It doesn’t matter to me; it all feels incredible.
As he moves inside me, slowly, my phone rings again. Lochlyn groans against my neck.
“Ignore it.” It’s my turn to say it, though more breathless than Lochlyn had been.
As his hand slides up my side, wrapping gently around my throat, he starts moving faster. His thumb presses against my chin as I try to tilt my head backward, moaning as the pressure builds.
“Look at me, Shay.” The huskiness in his voice vibrates through my body. I could stay in this bed with him forever and it wouldn’t be enough.
“God, Lochlyn,” I breathe as the pressure peaks and my nails dig into his shoulders and I let out a scream. Slowing but not stopping, he continues to grind his hips against mine as I work through my trembles.
I lock my eyes with his, needing more of him, all of him. “Again.” It’s one simple word, but his lip quirks up before he leans down and presses his mouth to mine, kissing to my ear.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispers against my ear before taking the sensitive skin between his teeth.
“More.” It comes out harsh, forceful, especially as I have to work to say it around the hand pressing against my throat.
Leaning back on his knees, he takes one of my legs and puts it against his shoulder, wrapping the other around his waist. Bending forward, he rests his arms on either side of me. We’ve never had sex this long before, something I know Lochlyn does for me. I don’t have to ask, and he doesn’t have to explain. I know. Because I’m realizing everything he does, he does for me.
It doesn’t take long until the familiar tingling takes over me again, and I’m about to come. I wrap my hands around his arms as I arch, digging my nails in as I whimper. His breath hitches as the hand by my head grabs at the sheets.
Releasing my leg and hovering above me, his thumb runs along my lower lip before he leans in and kisses me, rolling to his back, chest heaving.
When I regain my ability to think, I sit up, pulling the sheet around my chest before leaning down to find my phone somewhere on the floor.
Lochlyn grabs my bicep, trying to pull me toward him. “Lie down with me.”
“I have to find my phone. Whoever it was, called twice.”
“So what? It can wait ten more minutes.”
“It could be my mom. I haven’t talked to her in three weeks.”
“You’ve only been here for about three weeks.”
“Exactly.”
He grumbles as he slides his hand down my back. Finding my phone under my shirt, I sit up.
“It was Chelsea.” Immediately, I call her back.
“Don’t.” One corner of my mouth tips down, and I shoot him a glare. I needed the time away from her, but he won’t even talk about her.
“Hey, Shay.” Her voice on the other end of the line is hesitant.
“Hey, Chels. What’s up?”
“Sorry to bother you. Were you busy? Actually, never mind. I don’t want to think about what you were busy doing.” Lochlyn, who’s leaning close enough to hear, laughs lightly as he starts kissing along my shoulder.
“We were just making breakfast. What’s up?”
“I just…I miss you, Shay. You’re my best friend! I haven’t seen you in four days. I’m wondering when you’re coming back.”
I look over at Lochlyn. He wants me to stay indefinitely, but I’m not sure it’s the best idea. I’d chosen to room with Chelsea for a reason. And while I love him, I think some time apart every now and again will be healthy for our relationship. And I need to fix things with Chelsea too.
“I’m not sure yet, Chels. Lochlyn and I are still repairing things.”
“That you broke,” he says near the mouthpiece. With a flat hand, I push his face away, scowling at him.
“I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make it up to you. I want us to be okay again. I don’t know how to do that if we’re not talking and you’re avoiding me.”
“I’m not avoiding you, Chelsea. I’m just putting all my focus into Lochlyn right now. It needs to be that way for a little while.” I hesitate. “I need to come get some more clothes.”
“No, you don’t,” Lochlyn says against my shoulder, a smirk on his face.
“Maybe we can spend a few hours together when I do.” It’s a suggestion I’m not sure I actually want to follow through with, but I need to give her something.
“I’d really like that. Will it…will it be just you?”
“Is it a problem if it’s not?” I wasn’t planning to bring Lochlyn aside from dropping me off and picking me up. But I need her to be comfortable with us together and seeing us together, or things will never be better between her and I.
“No, I mean, I guess not. I was kind of hoping we could have some girl time. But if you want to bring him, that’s fine. It just may be awkward because he’s still not talking to me.”
“Well, Chels, I haven’t talked to you in four days either.”
“Yeah, but we had all that time together. Aside from the day I went to his apartment to talk about you, I haven’t spoken to him in over six weeks.”
“It’ll be just me.” Lochlyn bites my shoulder. I turn my head to look at him and point my finger, mouthing, No biting, to which he smirks and takes my fingertip between his teeth.
“That’ll be nice.”
“Probably tomorrow.”
“I’ll make sure I’m around all day.”
“Alright, Chels. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Bye, Shay. Oh, could you—”
I hang up before I hear what else she has to say. If she puts up an argument again, I won’t be siding with her. I’d spent sixteen years living in her shadow, letting her take the lead, letting her tell me what to do and what not to do. It had almost cost me the person I love the most in the world. I’m not going to stand for it anymore.
Lochlyn lies down on his back, pulling me down against him.
“You’re really going to go over there? And without me?”
“I do need you to drive me, but yes, we need some time, at least to talk without you around.”
“Why can’t you talk in front of me?”
“Because you’re not exactly being nice to her right now.”
“I’m still mad at her.” He says the words very slowly and with enunciation on each one.
“She’s still your sister, Lochlyn.”
“I don’t care. She cost us six weeks together. Six weeks.”
I take a breath, putting my hand on his chest. “Are you planning to change your mind? Decide that this isn’t what you want after all?”
“No. Of course not. I told you—”
“Then it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Look, nobody can predict the future, but I’m not planning on not being with you. Ever. Six weeks will seem so minimal. Plus, how many years did you spend longing for me?”
He loops a curl behind my ear. “Many.”
“Exactly. And I know, because I spent years longing for you too. Those six weeks, they were awful. I felt like my heart was ripped out when you stormed out that day.” His arms tighten around me. “But we’re here, we’re together again. That’s all that matters.
“Chelsea needs some time alone, to truly appreciate what she could have, maybe should have, lost. But we can’t just shut her out forever. I don’t want to. We’d all always been so close. I don’t want that to change just because we’re together. I think it’ll be nice.” I lean up, pointing at him. “And you have to figure out how to be nice and deal with Brendan.”
Groaning, he asks, "Do I have to?”
“Yes, you do. Because she’s happy with him. If we want her to be happy for us, you need to be happy for her. Listen, I don’t care if you threaten him weekly; she is your sister, after all. But you have to find a way to at least be pleasant. If not for her, then for me.”
“Well, if it’s for you, I guess I’ll have to find a way.”
“Only because it’s for me?”
“Yup.” He pops the ‘p’ at the end of the word.
“Why not for Chelsea?”
“Because I wouldn’t do anything for her. But I would do anything for you. Anything.” My chest inflates as my heart flutters and his lips graze the spot on my neck where he can see my pulse.
“Anything? Really?”
“Really and truly.”
“Okay then. There’s something I need you to do for me.”
He straightens and looks down into my eyes. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?” There’s a sultriness in his voice, and I know his mind has gone to a dirty place.
“Make me some breakfast?” My shoulders scrunch to my ears and a sheepish smile spreads across my face.
A chuckle rumbles from his throat as his head drops to my stomach. “Anything for you, baby girl.”
Chapter 20
As the anniversary of Dad’s death approaches, I start to withdraw into myself. Chelsea and Lochlyn are still barely talking, and seem to be fighting for my attention. She and I have worked our way back to a close friendship over the past two weeks, but to say things are strained when we’re all together is an understatement.
While sitting in our room after class on Tuesday, the day before the anniversary, the two of them keep arguing over where I last spent the night. I’ve had enough.
“Would the two of you just fucking stop already? I can’t take this shit anymore!” They both freeze and look at me. I still rarely curse, yell even less. “You’re acting like children fighting over a toy. I’m not a thing; I’m a person.”
“We know that, Shay. We just both want to spend time with you.” Chelsea’s being gentle. She’s learned the hard way that if she pushes me too far, I’m not going to lie down and take it anymore.
Lochlyn doesn’t say anything. He and I have already had this conversation, where he’d promised to be better, yet in front of Chelsea, he regresses to being a small child again.
“I’ll make this simple. I’m going to spend time with who I want, when I want. We’re all here together right now. If the two of you could get over your petty bullshit and make up already, then things would be easier. You both need to understand who the other person is and that they have a role in my life,” I spit the words out angrily.
Lochlyn, who’s been leaning up against the wall while sitting on my bed, slides forward so that I’m standing between his legs. He wraps an arm around my chest and kisses my neck. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I shrug him off. “Nothing.”
Chelsea looks at Lochlyn, the first glance I’ve seen between them that isn’t filled with irritation and disdain. Instead, it’s filled with worry.
“Are you having trouble in your classes?”
“No, Chelsea, that would be you.” My rebuttal catches even me off guard.
“Wow, Shay. If you’re mad at me about something, just say so.”
“I’m not mad! Christ, can’t you just see I’m tired of being talked about like an object rather than a damn person who has opinions and can make her own decisions about who she sees and what she does and when!”
Lochlyn hops off the bed and grabs my hand, dragging me out the door. He doesn’t slow down or talk to me until we’re outside, where he loosens his grip. I yank my hand from his and spin away from him.
He stands right behind me, so close that when he speaks, his breath tickles the nape of my neck. “Talk. Now.”
Incapable of doing that, I move away from him. He follows, putting his hand around my bicep, pulling me toward him. I spin to face him, pushing against his chest and out of his grasp.
“Go away, Lochlyn! Leave me alone.”
Both his hands land on my arms, tugging me closer. “Talk to me.”
“I said, leave me alone!” I push against him, hard, almost tumbling backward as I force myself away from him.
Instead of listening, both of his hands latch completely around my biceps and he yanks me into his chest. He wraps his arms so tightly around me, I can’t move. I thrash around, trying to break free. When that doesn’t work, I smack his chest with open palms. After a minute like that, I fist my hands and hit him, but he doesn’t relent.
“Let go of me!”
“No. Something is going on and you’re going to talk to me.” His words come out broken as I continue to wriggle, and he has to keep up with my movements.
“I said let go!” I scream. An outsider would think he’s harming me with the way I'm flailing about and struggling.
“Shay. You need to talk to me. What the hell is going on with you? I know Chelsea and I can’t possibly be pissing you off this much. There’s something else and you’re not telling me what it is.”
Puffs of air leave my mouth instead of words, and I burst into tears, my thrashing turning into grasping fistfuls of his shirt. He supports me as my knees lose their balance, keeping his arms tight around me.
I don’t know how long he holds me for, how long I just let the tears pour out of me without pause. He never asks me what’s wrong, doesn’t ask me to talk, just lets me sob uncontrollably into his chest outside my dorm.
As the tears start to subside, I’m left with just the shallow breathing and salt-stained cheeks. Lochlyn senses the calm and loosens his grip, hands cupping my cheeks as he wipes under my eyes. His face is full of worry.
“Baby, what is going on?”
“Tomorrow’s…the anniversary…of…" I try to get it out between ragged breaths.
But I don’t need to finish. “Your dad’s death. Oh, baby girl, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to the date. Fuck.”
Lochlyn looks up at the sky, and his jaw tightens as he pulls me back against him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and head, boxing me into him. I take a few moments to just breathe him in, using his steady breathing to calm my own, feeling his heartbeat beneath my fingers to ground myself to him, and letting the sandalwood scent overwhelm me and allowing me to get lost in him.
When my breaths are no longer hitching, he lowers his hands, trailing my arms to take my hands in his. He leans his forehead against mine. It’s the sweetest thing he does to me, making me feel so close to him.
“Are you okay to go inside? Or do you want to go back to my apartment?”
“Inside’s fine.”
“You sure?”
I nod silently.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, he leads me back upstairs to my room.
As soon as I’m through the door, Chelsea takes one look at me and rushes to envelop me in a hug. Lochlyn letting go of my waist. As much as I love Chelsea, I need him more, so I extend my hand back to find his.
When Chelsea pulls away, she opens her mouth to say something, but I raise my free hand to cut her off.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“We’re going to stay here tonight.” Lochlyn speaks firmly, not allowing any room for Chelsea to argue. He hasn’t slept here at all yet.
“Yeah, okay, that’s fine.”
I turn around to look at him. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “I think you need both of us right now.” The way he sees me, knows me, understands me, will never cease to amaze me.
I smile as the tears threaten to fall again. Shaking my head, I chase them away. I hate being a blubbering mess, though; it’s always happened a lot in Lochlyn’s presence. It’s something to do with the comfort I feel with him and how I can truly be myself.
Lochlyn closes up all the books on my bed, making a stack and putting them on my desk. He kicks off his shoes and climbs up, putting my pillows in the corner against the wall, leaning back and opening his arms to me.
Without hesitation or any exchange of words, I climb up and curl into him. “Let’s watch a movie or something, yeah?” He wants to distract me. I nod, unable to find my voice. Chelsea hands him the remote immediately.
If she’s at all uncomfortable with Lochlyn planning to stay, or the fact that his hand is comfortably in my back pocket, she knows better than to mention it.
I’m asleep before he even picks a movie.
When I wake up, it’s dark outside. I shake as Lochlyn chuckles beneath me. The Office is on in the background—my favorite show. My stomach grumbles at the smell of Chinese food. I sit up slowly as Lochlyn slides his hand to my lower back, sitting up himself.
“Hey, baby. How’d you sleep?”
“Fine, I think. Sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off.” Grogginess slurs my words, and my eyelids are still weighed down.
“Don’t apologize, you’re fine.”
“We got Chinese food!” Chelsea perks up behind me. I’d almost forgotten she was here when I fell asleep.
“It smells good. I’m actually pretty hungry.”
“All right, let’s eat.”
Chelsea grabs sodas from the fridge and passes out the food. Lochlyn and I sit on my bed, our backs against the wall, while Chelsea sits on hers, facing us. We eat quietly; the only sounds being from the show and the scraping of forks and cans being set down on the wood of the bedframe. I’m feeling awkward, knowing their eyes are on me, worried.
“Thanks for getting food, guys.”
“You’re welcome,” they say in unison. Chelsea had to have handled ordering and getting it from downstairs, but Lochlyn likely insisted on paying.
