Miles for Love Series Box Set, page 97
“I agree.” I interject. “My parents are pretty cool, too. I mean, we’re not overly wealthy, but we’ve never needed for anything. My parents put me through teacher’s college without flinching, and my other siblings went to school without any problems. Growing up in a family that can afford some of the things that others can’t sort of gives you a different perspective on life.”
“Exactly.”
We pull up to the restaurant, a casual one, a chain restaurant, and Tyler takes my hand in his as we walk in. His hand is so warm and inviting, but most of all, comforting. He’s the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. My mom adores him. She called me earlier and said that he came by and fixed her car because when she was over the other day to bring pancakes for me, he noticed that her car was making a strange noise. It was just a fan belt that needed tightening, and it took all of five minutes, but still.
As we are seated, I smile at him. “What?” he chuckles.
“My mom loves you.”
He smiles. “Yeah. She’s so sweet. Reminds me of my mom, and I’m her favorite.”
You are slowly becoming my favorite, too. “So you’re a mama’s boy?” I tease.
“I suppose I am. But I’m also my dad’s favorite, too.”
I chuckle. “Did you ever think that maybe they both tell all of their children that they’re the favorite?”
He frowns. “Possibly. Christopher wasn’t the favorite until he met Ashley. He was always the problem child.”
The waitress brings us our menus. “I love this restaurant.” I say. “So many delicious things to eat.”
“Do you want to order one of the party platters and share?” he offers.
“Oh, that’s a great idea.” I smile.
Tyler orders when the waitress comes around. His hair is getting a little longer, and his curls are coming out more. I can’t help but stare at him as he politely places our order. His teeth are perfectly white, and his lips are full and soft-looking. For a man, he has very long eyelashes, which lend him an innocent yet handsome air. Those blue eyes are mesmerizing. They have a greenish fleck in them when the light hits them a certain way. When his gaze catches mine once the waitress leaves us, he smiles. “Did I miss something?”
“No, not at all.” I say, shaking off the daze.
“Are you nervous at all about the appointment with Jason tomorrow?” Jason is Tyler’s friend, the one that is the family lawyer.
“Are you coming with me?”
He nods. “Sure.”
“Then I’m not nervous.” I state. “I did a little research, so I’m better prepared.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of research?” he asks, genuinely interested.
“Well, I know that I can’t file for divorce until I’ve been legally separated for a year, which kind of sucks. I was hoping to have this done and over with well within a year.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, he won’t see the light of day before that year is up.”
“It does. But I’d still feel better if I didn’t have to wait. I want this…over.”
He looks at my left hand. “I see you aren’t wearing your wedding rings anymore.”
“No. I took them down to the bank and put them in my safety deposit box. Those, plus a necklace and a pair of earrings that he bought me years ago. One day I’ll pawn it all, but for now I just wanted it out of sight.” I say this with more conviction than intended.
“Do you know what would make you feel better?” he asks.
“No, what’s that?”
“Buy yourself some new jewelry. I know girls always feel better when they replace old with new.”
I wave. “I’m not in any rush. Truth be told, I always disliked my engagement ring. It wasn’t my taste, anyway.”
“Really? What didn’t you like about it?”
“I like simple. Mine had too many little stones, and at the time I know it was a trendy look, but I would have much more preferred a solitaire or even just something without crushed diamonds all around it.” I pause. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful ring…just…not my style.”
The waitress approaches, bringing us water, cutlery and napkins. When she leaves, Tyler looks at me. “Your face is all healed now.”
“Yeah? I’d gotten so used to the look, I hadn’t noticed.”
His eyes search my face. “You look much better. Even your eye looks completely normal.”
“Thanks.” I grin. “Those baths really help, too. I think even the humidity helped heal my face. My ribs aren’t even sore anymore.”
“I noticed that you’re walking normally, so I figured they’d healed, too.” He takes my left hand in his and looks at the ring finger. “Looks funny.” He rubs the spot where my ring was.
I grin. “It feels funny. I’ve been wearing that a long time.”
The waitress brings us a platter, warning us that it is hot, and we both look at it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. “Oh, man, does this look good.” Tyler comments.
“It does.” I agree.
Ten minutes later, we’ve both devoured it. There is nothing left except a few crusts from the garlic bread. “Have you had enough, or do you have room for dessert?” Tyler asks.
“I’m stuffed.”
He pats his belly. “Me too. You want to head back and go for a walk or something? Work it off?”
“Sure.” I say, motioning for the waitress to bring us the bill. When she arrives, I take the bill.
Tyler reaches for it. “What…do you think you’re doing.” He grunts, taking it from me.
“You and Grant paid for the pizza last week.” I say.
“Don’t even think about it.” he says warmly. “This dinner is my treat.”
“Lots of things are your treat, Tyler.” I state. “When are you ever going to take something back?”
He looks at me. His eyes slide down to my lips, and then back up to my eyes. “Alright. If it means that much to you.” He hands me the receipt back.
“Thank you.”
Twenty minutes later, we’re walking in my neighborhood. “I haven’t heard from Frankie today. You suppose they’re ‘busy’ again?” I air-quote ‘busy’ in a teasing manner.
“Probably.” He chuckles. “I’m not sure what I’d do if I didn’t have you to hang around with.”
“Well, what have you done in the past?”
“Grant’s only had one other real relationship, so it hasn’t been a problem before.”
“And what about yourself? When you’ve had a relationship?”
“I’ve only had one other before, too. It didn’t faze Grant. He just carried on like she wasn’t there.”
“So, now this may be an awkward question…” I trail off.
“Shoot.” He says casually, like I can ask him anything.
“What did you do when you wanted…you know…to have…relations with someone?”
His shy smile is adorable. “We had a system. We’d just text each other. I’d go over to visit someone or to my parent’s place. And he’d do the same. Or it would happen at the girl’s house. Whatever. It always worked out.”
“And I suppose you had these ‘systems’ worked out a lot?”
“Are you asking if I get around?” his eyebrows lift, but it’s so adorable.
“Well, yeah.” I giggle.
He shrugs. “I don’t know…maybe.” His face is a little pink. I want to squeeze his cheeks.
“Am I embarrassing you?”
“No.” he lies. “But, I suppose I can’t ask you the same. So it’s not really fair. Unless you want to answer sex questions about you and Paul.”
“Ask me anything. The answer is no.” I cut the air with my hand as I joke.
“No, you didn’t have sex with your husband?”
“Hardly ever. He was always too focused on work.” I explain. “I mean, when we were first married, yeah, it was often for about the first year, but then it died out. It’s pretty normal, I think.”
He gives me a look like I just insulted myself. “Why would you say that?”
“Well, isn’t that the cliché? I mean, that’s what happens in a marriage, no?”
He looks at me and scoffs. “Uh, ask Daniel, Christopher or Mallorie, and they’ll tell you no, that sex gets better the longer you’re married.”
“Really.” I’m stunned. “Well, then they must be outside the norm.”
“Maybe, but I think it’s all in what you make it.”
“I agree.”
He slides his arm around my waist. “You tired?”
“Yeah, I think this will be my last lap. I want to be fresh tomorrow when I go to the lawyer.”
“You’ll be fine.” He says, tucking his hand in the loop of my jeans. “But you’re right, we should get you home.”
When we arrive back at my place, Tyler surprises me. “I should go.”
“Oh…” I can’t hide the disappointment in my voice as we stand by my front door. Lifting my arms, I give him a hug. He holds me tight. Probably tighter than he ever has before. It feels so good I don’t want to let go. His one arm is higher up on my back, while the other is lower, caressing my waist. Inching me further towards him, he pulls me even closer, so I’m pressed right up against his body. Something inside me starts to pulse. I can feel his heartbeat against mine. My eyes close instinctively with this very foreign yet inviting feeling.
My mind is reeling. I don’t want him to leave. Not because I need him to stay, but because I want him to. Right now, Tyler means everything to me. Lord knows how we arrived here, and I don’t know what that means, whether we’re great friends or more, but either way, I love having him around. Wait a minute…do I…love him? Yes. I love him very much. And the way that he’s holding me, I’d say that he loves me, too.
“Thanks for dinner.” He whispers in my ear, which gives me such a thrilling shiver, it’s almost evident.
Kissing his cheek, I say. “You’re welcome.”
He pulls back, but only enough that we’re nose-to-nose. His voice is soft. “Are you okay alone tonight?”
I nod. He hasn’t loosened his grip on me. Inside I’m begging him not to. And then it just comes out of my mouth, and I can’t stop it. “I love you, Tyler.”
The look of relief is so evident on his face, I almost chuckle. He rests his forehead on mine and closes his eyes. “I love you, too, sweetheart.”
“Do you want to stay?” I whisper.
He shakes his head no, but he says. “Yes, I do. But I know that we’re crossing a line here, and I don’t want to make a mistake.” he lifts his head and looks me in the eyes with such a loving gaze I could melt. “You have…things…you need to work out before we can take another step.”
“Are you saying that you can’t stay again until I’m divorced?”
“No,” he shakes his head against mine, lightening his answer, making me chuckle. “I just…I think it’s too soon.”
He makes it so easy to love him. He always says all the right things. “Okay.” He’s right. Both him and I know it. But what I want to tell him is that I’m not implying that we sleep together tonight. I just want him here. But maybe he’s two steps ahead of me. I mean, he isn’t still married, and he didn’t just experience firsthand what I did from Paul. He’s a grown, needy man, who probably can’t handle much more of this sharing the same bed with someone you love, without being able to physically declare his true love for me. I get it. It’s a lot. And the fact that Tyler has stayed with me almost every night since then is telling.
When he finally loosens his grip, he does it with a gentle rub of my back, and I drink that contact in. The magnetism is almost too much. I want to pull him back, hug him tighter, kiss his lips, but that wouldn’t be fair to him. I know how he feels about being with a married woman. It was the whole reason for our initial awkwardness when we first met. I have to respect his morals. Tyler will let me know when it’s time.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he says softly.
“You bet.”
It takes everything in me not to kiss him goodnight. My gaze is divided between his eyes and his lips.
“Okay.” The anguish in his eyes is almost unbearable. He feels awful leaving me. He wants so badly to stay, and I can feel it in his energy that he’s battling with himself right now.
“Okay.” I smile with a little wink, trying like hell to let him know that it’s okay. Tyler has the biggest heart on the planet, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to make him feel even a little bit guilty for doing the right thing.
With a little wave, he leaves.
I find myself standing by the door, waiting to see if he comes back.
…but he doesn’t.
Chapter 17
Tyler
God…dammit, was it hard doing that. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I think that that was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. No woman has ever told me straight out that she loves me. And then I turn around and leave her? What the hell was I thinking? But I know exactly what I was thinking. Ripley doesn’t need an added complication in her life right now. Fine, I used my morality as an excuse, because, let’s face it, her husband is locked away in jail for an undetermined amount of time. The divorce, at this point, is just a formality. In her eyes, and evidently in her heart, too, Paul might as well be dead.
The last thing I want to do is rush her or make a mistake with her. But, man, after she told me she loves me, I should win an award for the restraint I showed her. Every cell in my body was telling me to take her in my arms and make love to every inch of her until she cried out for me to stop. But she means more to me than that. This girl is…everything. And I don’t want to mess anything up by taking a step too soon. She needs to sort this divorce thing out first. She doesn’t need anything marred by the budding love that we have for each other. It came out like this was for me, but really, it’s for her.
As I pull into the driveway, surprisingly, I see that Frankie’s car isn’t there. When I walk in the door, Grant is sitting on the couch, drinking a beer. “Hey,” I say.
“Hey,” he answers. “You get the night off, too?”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “Frankie gone?”
“She wasn’t feeling well, actually.” Grant says with slight concern.
“Yeah? Everything okay?”
“Yeah. She got a killer period.” He chuckles like he feels her pain. “Poor thing kept going to the bathroom every ten minutes.”
I scrunch my face. “Yikes.”
“How come you’re home? I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Long story.”
“Uh oh…”
“Nothing’s wrong, man. I just…fuck, I don’t even know where to start.”
I explain to him how we both said we love you and how I feel about proceeding. “I just…I don’t want to fuck it up, man.”
Grant takes a sip of beer. “If you ask me, you’re going to fuck it up by not doing what you should have done tonight. When she tells you she loves you, and you know you love her, which by the way, was no fucking secret, man, you weren’t fooling anyone…and you don’t…be honest with her and seal the deal…you’re playing with fire.”
“Easy for you to say, you don’t even love Frankie.”
“Not yet. But I like her a lot.”
“Does she love you?”
“I don’t know, man. She hasn’t said as much.”
“So you’re sleeping with a girl you don’t love, and you have the gall to tell me that I should be sleeping with a girl I do love. How does that make sense?”
He taps his temple. “Logic.”
“Yeah, well, I think your logic is in your pants.”
“Fuckoff. You’re just pissed that I have the balls to do my honey and you don’t.”
“That’s not it at all, and I think you ought to cut back on the beer, man. You’re crude when you’re tanked.”
“What are you, my mother now?”
“Keep it up and I’ll call our mother. Go to bed and sleep it off.” I shove his shoulder. “How long ago did Frankie leave, man? How many have you had?”
“A while ago, man. We just made it through dinner.”
“And you chugged a couple back the minute she left?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, so.”
“Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you do love her. Maybe you knew you’d miss the hell out of her, so you got wasted the second she left.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
I smirk. “I’m heading off to bed. Got some work to do.”
He salutes me.
A few hours later, after I’m caught up with some stuff that will make my life easier tomorrow, I decide to go to sleep. The appointment with Jason is after school, so Ripley wouldn’t miss any more time from work, but in the meantime, I have to make sure I get all my ducks in a row.
The next morning, I send Ripley a good morning text. She replies back with a smile. I don’t want to think about what’s going through her head today. I can’t even imagine. But as the hour approaches, I send her a message, saying that I’ll meet her at her house, and she replies with a thank you. Grant picks up Lacey from school, and as he returns, I head out to Ripley’s house. “Good luck, man.” Grant says to me on my way out.
“Yeah, thanks. You seeing Frankie tonight?”
“Yeah, probably. If she’s feeling better.”
“You mean you haven’t spoken to her today?”
“Yes, shit for brains.” He’s snide but kidding. “But I didn’t outright ask her how her period is.”
“You could just ask how she’s feeling, dickwad.” I point out.
“Get lost.” He says, almost whining.
I smack him up the side of the head, and he punches my shoulder, before I walk away. I’d do more to him, but I don’t want to show up all banged up to a lawyer’s office. Ripley answers the door, and she takes my breath away. In a long pencil skirt and a white blouse, done up just enough to show a tasteful amount of cleavage and a tiny pendant around her neck, I have to look twice. Her hair is tied up in the back loosely, with curls hanging down the sides of her face. Her look is finished with a pair of black pumps. “Wow.” I say, looking her up and down. I’m in a pair of suit pants and a linen shirt.
