Miles for Love Series Box Set, page 27
When I see the pills, I look at her. She tries in vain to stuff them back in her purse without me noticing. “What the hell are those?” I ask, waiting for the lie.
“Mints.” There it is.
“Like hell they are.” I seethe.
Her eyes dart to mine. “Do not talk like that to me.” she barks.
“Then do not lie to me.” I look around for my underwear and pants and put them on, suddenly feeling very aware of the fact that my balls are hanging out…in more ways than one.
“Who do you think you are, Aleks?” she asks, her voice is as cold as ice.
“Your boyfriend, your lover…and the last time I looked, the man who you were trying to have a baby with.” My arms cross over my chest. She hates it when I do that, but I do it anyway.
“Well…maybe I do not want to have a baby anymore.” She points out, chuckling, like it was a huge fucking joke to begin with.
“So, why did you not tell me?” my voice raises an octave.
“Are you…yelling at me?” her eyes are slits.
Never in my life have I ever wanted to slap a woman before. My chest is heaving I am so angry. As she waits for me to answer her, her toes are tapping defiantly on the ceramic tile floor. The look on her face says that she does not give a damn about how upset I am. The lie, the betrayal, means nothing compared to the fact that I am raising my voice at this spoiled, rude, selfish and overbearing princess. Never hit a woman…never hit a woman. “You come to my parent’s birthday tonight, embarrass me, insult my parents and my friend, then you practically fucking rape me against my own fucking door, and now you are going to stand there and lie to me? You are on the fucking pill, and who knows how long you have been on the pill without telling me. What ever happened to honesty, Svetlana?” she hates it when I call her by her full name, too. Sveta is the preferred short form.
But I ignore that fact, because her eyes are wild with rage. I have never raised my voice or sworn in front of her before now. Her fist balls up and she is about to punch me, when I stop her with my hand. “That is it.” I say, baring my teeth at her. “Take your clothes, your purse, and whatever fucking shit you have left here and get the fuck out of my life!”
Her chest is heaving now. She pulls her dress up, stuffs her fake, oversized tits into her bra and pushes her feet into her six-inch heels before doing up her dress. The smile on her face is so overly sweet it takes everything in my power not to smack it off. “I was done with you two months ago, Aleks. That is when I went on the pill…for my other boyfriend…who does not want little brats like you do.” I make way for her so she can open the door and leave. “Maybe the next woman you meet will not mind you being such a mama’s boy.” She spits before leaving.
I watch her walk out to her car that was parked in my driveway since this afternoon. As she peals out of my driveway, she flips me the bird, and I smile.
As God is my witness, I will never date another woman again after that. Even a year later, wild horses could not drive me to another woman. And then I go, a year later, and do the stupidest thing I could ever do, and it changes my life forever.
Chapter 2
Mallorie
Present Day
Brent looks at me and sees the longing look on my face as my sister-in-law, Kayla, holds her and my brother Daniel’s first baby in her arms. Sure, we have Henry, our six-year-old son, but I’ve longed to have another one for at least a few years. Jealousy does not suit me well, but I can’t help it. Kayla and Daniel found each other, fell in love, got married, and while it took a number of years for them to have Mitchell—because my brother wanted to open up his medical practice first—they still have him, and my brother’s been using the word ‘kids’ for a long time, so I know they’ll have more.
The coming together of Brent and I was by no means romantic. After my long-term boyfriend was unfaithful to me while I was away in Afghanistan, serving our country, Brent and I got together in a drunken stupor. He was a sergeant and I was just a corporal. Which is a huge taboo in the military caste system. My military service was cut short during my pregnancy, and I haven’t been back since. Although Brent promises that we’ll get married some day, and we’ll have more kids together, it hasn’t happened. As I said before, Henry is six. I keep telling myself that it will happen, but the more days that pass the more the hope fades.
Since Brent’s last mission finished, he’s been working for his dad’s company. They manufacture and sell specialized household construction equipment. It’s great money, so great that Brent has insisted that I stay home with Henry, even though he’s in the first grade now. I’ve done a little freelance work from home for the military, but it doesn’t pay much, and it’s painfully boring. Thank goodness I come from a good family, with many in the medical field, so money has never been an issue for us.
Kayla hands me two-week-old Mitchell and I cuddle him close, looking at his huge blue eyes and chubby cheeks. He’s perfect. He never cries. Just like Henry when he was that size. When he started walking, Brent would hold his hand and he was so patient with him, walking up and down the streets in our neighborhood. He was so proud. As Henry started talking, Brent would help him learn to read and write. Hours he spent, day in and day out, working with our son, until his grammar and comprehension level was way beyond that expected of a Kindergartener. When he started school, it was a breeze for him.
Now that Henry is getting older, Brent shows him how to do minor repairs, and he’s coached him on how to ride a bike and play baseball. A notably supportive father, Brent has been there for Henry since the day he was born. When I hand Brent the baby, he takes him and gushes over him just like I did. A feeling of hope bubbles up inside me. Sitting with the baby, seemingly adoring him, Brent admires him for more than a half an hour before he starts to fuss.
“He’s hungry.” Kayla says gently, cradling his tiny head in her hand as she grasps his bottom and pulls his infant body towards her. My heart melts at the ghost of a frown that shows on Brent’s face.
“You two ever think about having another one?” Daniel asks, elbowing me.
“I’d love to have another one. How about you, honey?” I ask as Henry hovers over Kayla while she nurses.
He sighs and tilts his head. “Some day, yeah.”
“Well, Henry’s at the perfect age to be a great big brother.” Kayla supplies as the baby suckles her happily.
“He is.” Brent agrees, but the unsure edge is evident in his voice. Henry loses interest and walks over to the television.
“C’mon, honey. Remember how sweet Henry was when he was a baby?” I coax. That gets a warm smile but no further comment.
“You better hurry up, man. I know my sister here doesn’t wait around forever.”
Looking at Brent, I watch his warm smile slip a notch. “Yeah, I know that. But things are a little…uncertain right now.”
Now my smile slips. “What do you mean?”
He tilts his head again in that way that tells me there is a lot to his story. “Well, my brother wants to work for my dad’s company.”
Brent has a much younger half-brother from his dad’s second marriage, who just graduated from college.
“And there isn’t a spot for him right now.”
“Is your dad going to retire?” I ask, growing concerned.
Brent waves. “Na. My dad’s not ready to retire. Not by a longshot.”
“So, what’s the deal then? Is your dad going to expand?” Daniel asks.
A resigned sigh from Brent. “He’s working towards it, yes. But…I’ve decided to take a step back from the company for a while.”
My face falls. “What? W…what are you going to do?” I pause. “Do you want me to go back to work…because I can do that.”
Lifting a hand, Brent silences me. “That’s not necessary, honey.”
“Okay,” I say, puzzled.
“Commander Edwards called me a couple of weeks ago.” Brent announces, bringing up the name of the head of his former Battalion when he served.
“Oh yeah?” Daniel says, interested. Daniel served for a number of years as well, before he and Kayla met. “What did he have to say?”
“There’s a mission coming up in a few weeks. Right up my alley.” He names the mission and explains its purpose, highlighting that it’s a similar mission to the one that he and I were serving from back before Henry was born.
“But…” I interrupt, and he looks at me, knowing full well that this is the deal we agreed on when Brent came back to be a part of mine and Henry’s life. At first, when I was dismissed from the service during my pregnancy, Brent fazed himself out of my life, even after promising to be a father to the baby when it was born. I wouldn’t forgive him, and I told him that he wasn’t welcome to see the baby unless we had some ground rules. We would both be good parents to Henry, and neither of us would join a mission again, for the foreseeable future.
Up until now, nothing has been discussed since then. “I know what you’re going to say, Mallorie, but I’ve been thinking about it and I think this matter is worth discussing.”
“So, are you thinking about going back?” Daniel probes.
“Daniel, if you didn’t have pride in your job, do you think you could be a good father to little Mitchell here?” Brent asks.
“Well, I don’t know. I’m a doctor and Kayla’s a registered dietician, so I guess we both have pretty commendable jobs.”
“But if you were a grocery store clerk or a banker, or a goddamn tool salesman, you probably wouldn’t be such a proud parent, would you?” Brent says, making it sound like he runs a child trafficking ring.
Daniel looks like Brent just asked him how big his balls are. “Um…I don’t know. I suppose not.”
Becoming more upset by the second, I glance over at Henry, and see that he is deeply enthralled in a cartoon that Kayla put on for him earlier, she even gave him a set of headphones, which he is now using. Bless her. “So, what are you saying, Brent? Are you going against your word? Are you heading back to Afghanistan?”
“Mallorie, I can’t keep doing this. I’m…a goddamn salesman. It’s demeaning. I’m a military Sergeant, goddammit!” he slams his fist against the wall, reminding me of the passion in him that once drove me to him, which is now backfiring in my face.
“But you’re also an excellent father, Brent! How long are you going to be gone?”
“I haven’t made my decision yet.” Brent lies.
“Bullshit!” I seethe. “How long?”
“A year…two, maybe.” He admits. His expression is so solid I have to look away.
“So me sacrificing my military career was all for naught then.” I admit. “Or any career for that matter.” I look at him. “Since you insisted that I stay home with Henry, I don’t even have a career, thanks to you.”
“Hey, I never told you to stay home.” Another lie.
“Like hell you didn’t!” I spit. “If that were the case, I would have gone back to work two years ago, when Henry started school!”
“And what would you have done, huh? Go back to the military?” Brent points out with scathing directness.
“So, it’s okay for you, but not for me?” I point out. Kayla switches sides so the baby is suckling the opposite breast. Daniel watches her with an adoration that makes me ache. You would think that my younger brother or his wife would be uncomfortable with us having this argument in front of them, and in their house, no less. But that’s not how us Lynches work. We were raised in a home where we said what we meant, and we always told the truth about how we felt. There was never any shame in that, and we were all a passionate bunch. We still are, and that’s half the reason why I was so drawn to Brent: because he mirrored my passion.
“Mallorie, with all due respect, you were a corporal.” Brent says fairly.
“Yeah, but who knows what rank I would have now if I hadn’t given it up.”
Glossing over my response, Brent looks at me. “Look, I never said I made up my mind.”
“It sure sounds that way to me.” I say, feeling my heart pound with anger.
Two weeks later, as I watch Brent slide into his military uniform, I see Henry walk into the bedroom, beaming at his father in his freshly dry-cleaned suit, loaded with military badges and pins, and I take in Brent’s face as he picks our boy up and holds him in his arms for the last time before leaving. “You take care of your mother, okay? You’re the man of the house now.”
“Okay, daddy.” He says. “Can I come with you?”
“No, daddy’s got to go on his own this time. Maybe when you grow older you can come and join the army, just like daddy did. You’d love it, son. You get to see the world, you get to defend the country, and you get to meet all kinds of wonderful people.”
“Do you get a gun, daddy?”
“Yes, you do. And they teach you how to shoot it, too.” He licks his lips. “I tell you what. How about when I come home next time, I’ll teach you how to shoot?”
Henry nods emphatically, and Brent smiles. “Okay, partner. That sounds like a plan. “I have to go now, okay? But daddy loves you like crazy, okay?”
“I love you too, daddy.” Henry says. Neither of them sheds any tears. Both Brent and Henry have emotions of steel. I’m pretty up there, too. As he sets Henry back down on the floor, Henry runs for his radio-controlled car in the hallway, something Brent bought him for his birthday. He loves it and constantly plays with it.
“I’ll see you, buddy.” Brent says as he walks down the stairs with his suitcase in hand. It’s almost like I’m invisible.
“You sure I can’t give you a ride to the airport?” I offer.
“No, hon. I’ve got a cab coming. Should be here any minute.”
“Okay.” I say, looking at the floor. He tips my chin upward with his hand.
“Hey,”
I look at him.
“I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone.” He says soberly. “Let’s call this what it is…a break.”
My eyes search his. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want you to sit around waiting for me, Mallorie.”
“What does that mean?” I’m insulted that he’s even insinuating this.
“Mallorie, you know we were never meant to be together.” He explains softly. “You and I…we got together for all the wrong reasons.”
“But I thought we stayed together for the right reasons.”
He shakes his head, looking me straight in the eye, as my heart breaks in two. “I don’t think so.” He whispers. “And I don’t think it’s fair for us to keep going on like we’ll be together forever. I’m leaving, and I don’t know when I’m coming back.”
“But…what about Henry?”
“I’ll always be his dad, Mallorie. I’ll write to him and we’ll talk over the phone, and I’ll come visit him when I come home. I’ll still be there for him.”
“You just don’t want to be with me.” I clarify.
He sighs, letting go of my chin. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“Fine.” I say, swallowing back the tears. “Go. But just remember that I love you. Whether or not you love me. Whether or not you love your son. I love you.”
He lifts a defensive finger. “Now hold on a minute. I love my son. You just heard it yourself.” He gestures with his eyes towards Henry, who is upstairs, running his car up and down the hallway, squealing with joy as his car plows into the wall and crashes into the baseboards.
“But you don’t love me, do you?” I say as though it’s a rhetorical question. “Tell me something; how can you live with someone for five years without loving them? Was I just a roommate to you? Is that all I ever was?”
We hear a car pull up and honk its horn. “Look, Mallorie. I tried to make it work. I gave it six years. I went to work with my dad every day for five goddamn years, selling parts, working my ass off doing something I hated, came home and tried to be a good dad to Henry, but I…I just can’t do it anymore.” He glances out the door and motions to the cab driver that he’ll be one minute. “I gotta go.”
“Sure.” I sniff. He pulls me close and hugs me, even though I fight him at first.
“Mallorie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to have to do this to you. But you’re a great mother. You’ve dedicated every minute of your life to him since the day he was born, and I know that you never regretted it.” He grips me tighter, and then pulls back. “I do love you.” He says softly. “But it’s not enough.” he kisses me on the lips so passionately that I think he’s going to make love to me right against the door. His tongue dips in slowly yet vigorously, and when he’s done it leaves me breathless. Another one of the reasons why I fell for him.
His lips find mine once more before he says goodbye. My eyes are red with unshed tears. Part of me wants to hit him, part of me wants to beg him to stay, and part of me wants to tell him to never come back. But the only part of me that I actually listen to is the one that says when one door closes, another one opens.
Little did I know that the door would open the next time my phone rang.
Chapter 3
Aleks
Egor stands above me, spotting me as I bench press nearly double my weight. Feeling the veins in my neck bulge, I grunt, placing the barbell back in the cradle. “You want to spot me now?” Egor asks.
“Sure,” I say as I rise and wipe the sweat off my brow. At the end of each day, we normally do a workout, and depending on who is left, we practice different things. Trading places with Egor, I lift my head and see some of my medals that I have earned over the years. There are so many of them, I have to split them between the gym, the gymnastics school where I teach, and home. Mama even has some from when I was a boy still at my childhood home.
The certificates I keep in an acid-free photo album at home, just in case I ever have to use them for reference when signing up for competitions. I have competed in so many events I have lost count. Most of them I have won, some of them I have won first place. Thankfully, none of my colleagues ever draw attention to them, because I was bullied a lot for it when I was younger. Until I grew to be this size, that is. Then it seemed like they left me alone. The scars never go away though.
