Miles for Love Series Box Set, page 107
Walking up her driveway, I clear my throat and try to swallow down the bile, before I ring the doorbell. When she opens the door, her face brightens. God, I’ve waited eight months to see that smile. “Grant!” she gushes, opening her arms. “You’re back!”
I hold her tight, and suddenly it’s as if all the shit that happened between us has vanished. Her grip on me is close. She smells amazing. Like flowers in a meadow. She doesn’t smell like that fucker that just left, either, because I’d die if I had to smell that again. When she pulls back, she’s searching my eyes. Stacey is beautiful. Tall, slender, mid-length straight red hair, and brown eyes. Her signature eyeliner brings out the green fleck in her eyes, and I can’t help but stare at them.
“When did you get back?” she asks, still holding me.
“Just last night.” I answer, wanting to kiss her so bad it hurts. I haven’t been with another woman since Stacey. Tyler thinks it’s so lame, but I don’t.
“How come you didn’t call me?” she asks, slightly wounded.
“I wanted to surprise you.” I say honestly.
She smiles. “Well, it worked. How are you?”
“Good.” I glance back quickly. “I, um…saw Mark leaving. Is he coming back?”
Her smile slips a notch. “Not until later. He had to go to work for a while.”
And I wonder if that’s her saying that we can mess around. Yeah, I know, it sounds cheap and shallow, but it’s been eight months. At this point, I wouldn’t care if she’d had his kid while I was gone, I’m desperate. But I make no move towards her, because I don’t want to be shut down just as fast. “Stacey,” I say, and she releases me as though I just insulted her.
“Grant. Come and sit.” She says, and I get the feeling that I’m not going to like to hear what she has to say.
“Okay.” I mutter, taking my shoes off. I join her on the couch.
“You look good.” She compliments, and I feel like she’s softening me up, preparing me for the blow.
“You too.”
“I know it must haven been difficult for you, you know, the last time you came home.”
“Yeah,” is all I can think of to say. Difficult is an understatement. She fucking tore my heart out if I’m being honest with myself. The more I sit next to her, the more I’m picking up on the vibe that I’m old news. That I shouldn’t be here. That all the feelings I’ve conjured up about her in the months while I’ve been away were for naught.
She swallows, and the sound is amplified in the silence of her living room. “Grant, Mark and I are engaged.”
Trying to stifle my reaction, I hold my breath. Talk about feeling like being left behind in a shit storm. There is a coaster sitting on the coffee table before us, emblazoned with the logo from the shithole company that Mark works for. I stare at it. I picture his face on it, and in my mind, I punch it so hard that his fucking face explodes. “Congratulations.” I manage, feeling the bile rise in my throat.
“Thanks.” She says, and she touches my hand.
“So…when’s the big day?” I’m amazed at how well I can hold back. In my mind, I’m fucking losing it on her. Shouting, screaming, asking her why she left me hanging on like a fucking loser for all this time. Why she made me believe that she was just working through some shit and that she still missed me is beyond me. Tyler is right. I’m a fucking fool. It takes everything in me not to get up, tell her to fuck the hell off and die, and walk out of there, punching a wall in my wake.
“We’re getting married in Canada. Next summer.” She explains. “It’s complicated with his job.”
I look at her. “You’re getting married in Canada?”
She looks at me, almost apologetically. “Yeah. I’m moving there, actually. We just sold the house. The sign only came down just yesterday.”
Glad I was the last to know. “And you’re happy about that?”
This, from the woman who has an American flag hanging from her porch, and another one in her garage. She pays attention to all the American sports teams, the Olympics, you name it. Stacey is very patriotic.
“Yes.” She says shortly.
And it’s like my mouth takes over my brain. “Stacey, why are you marrying him? I thought that you said he was just someone to get you through while I was away.”
Then she says something that shocks the shit out of me. “Do you have a ring for me?”
“What are you talking about? I just came back from a ten year mission. Last check, you were waiting for me to come back, so we could start our lives together. Yeah, you broke it off with me, but in the same breath you also told me that you loved me.”
“I did love you, Grant.” She admits half-heartedly. “But I didn’t know when you were coming back for good. I’m…not cut out for waiting and for being put second all the time. That’s the truth.”
“Do you even love this guy?” I ask bluntly.
“Yes. I do. And he’s done really well for himself. This promotion in Canada is huge, and it’ll set us up to get a nice house and start a family.”
I don’t know what else to say. Then I think of something. “Does he know about me?”
“He knows of you, because of that…incident.”
“Does he know how you felt about me?” I ask, my eyes dare her to lie to me. “Or at least how you claim to have felt about me?”
Our heads turn simultaneously towards the driveway when the dipshit’s car pulls in. “Shit.” She mutters, sighing.
Oh, this ought to be good. Funny how the shoe is on the other foot now. It takes everything in me not to grab her and kiss her, just to put on a good show for the asshole. Make him feel how I felt some eight months ago. “You want me to scoot out the back door?” I offer, but the quirky smile on my face says that I’m enjoying watching her squirm way too much.
“Funny.” She says. “Just…be cool, okay? It’s…not like we were making out on the couch or anything.”
Mark walks in and our eyes lock.
First words out of his mouth are, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Chapter 2
Stacey
As my heart leaps out of my chest, I try to figure out how to get out of this one. I had no idea that my ex-boyfriend Grant was going to show up today. He just came out of the blue. Mark is a territorial guy, and he won’t take Grant’s presence here lightly. Truth be told, it took a lot of convincing Mark not to tear Grant a new one when he caught Mark and I in bed together last year. Mark didn’t know about Grant, so it was a surprise for both of them. The coitus interruptus was the least of my worries, and it took months of telling Mark that I had no feelings left for Grant, for him to finally believe me.
Grant is sweet and emotionally frail, and half the time I can’t look him in the eye because he’s so sincere. He’s completely in love with me, and I’ve never had the heart to tell him that I don’t love him nearly as much. I do love Grant, I do, but not enough to have a future with him. We had a strong love before he went away to Afghanistan, but over the years, as he came home on leave, it dwindled. Could I ever tell him that? Absolutely not. It would break his heart.
As I stare my fiancé in the eye, I half lie to him, making like Grant is an unwelcome guest. I would never turn the man away, but at the same time, I needed to tell him the truth. The look in his eyes said that he would have taken me, warts and all, right then and there, in my hallway. I couldn’t let that happen, and thank God I had the sense not to let that happen, since it would have been a deja-vous with Mark making a surprise about-face home.
“Take it easy, partner.” Grant says, after Mark’s none-too-pleased opener. “I was just coming by to say hello.”
“H…he just came back from Afghanistan.” I supply. “I was just telling him that we’re engaged and moving to Canada.”
“Congratulations.” Grant says, although his facial expression and his tone of voice says more like, ‘eat shit and die, motherfucker’. Bending down to put his shoes on, Grant ignores the searing gaze Mark is giving him from the doorway. His stance is all but saying that Grant will have to plough through him to get out the door.
As he stands upright again, Grant adjusts his pants, and it’s almost like a draw between two men. Grant is a big guy, no doubt about it. He’s like a wall of muscle and heart, and anyone who goes up against him doesn’t have a prayer. Even Mark, who works out at the gym five days a week, and is obsessive over his body. That said, he still can’t hold a candle to Grant’s ‘eye of the tiger’, which is I’m guessing why he had so much success behind enemy lines. It’s also part of the reason why I initially fell in love with him.
“You gonna move out of my way, or am I going to have to move you?” Grant snarls.
“You lay a finger on me, faggot, and it’ll be your last.” Mark seethes.
“For someone who didn’t want me near his precious wife-to-be, you’re sure having a hard time letting me get the fuck away from her.”
“Mark. Grant.” I say flatly. “Stop it.” I pull Mark away from the door. He glares at Grant as he steps away.
“You ever come around here again, pal, and I’ll fucking kill you.” Mark warns.
“I’d like to see you try, asshole. I’d take you down without breaking a sweat.”
The pissing match is getting old. “Okay, enough. Grant, thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you made it back.”
He looks at me and nods once. “Yeah. Yeah, take it easy.” He says to me, and then he addresses Mark. “Have fun in Canada, asshole. I’m sure the Canadians won’t think much more of you.”
“Yeah, fuck you, dickwad.” Mark says, tipping his chin up at him.
“Fuck you, too. I hope the fucking plane bursts into flames, asshole.” He says as he walks down the path towards his truck, past Mark’s small sedan.
“Hey, you know what they say about dicks who drive big trucks, right? That they have little pussy wieners!” he shouts to Grant.
“Ask your fiancé, man.” Grant scoffs. “She would know.” he says, giving Mark the finger.
My cheeks flush. Mark looks at me coldly. “Don’t you say a damn word.”
I roll my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Mark. Would you stop? He’s gone.” I point out, as Grant’s truck passes the house, not before he gives the finger to Mark again.
“Fucking asshole.” Mark says, slamming the door. “What did you ever see in that dickwad, anyway?”
I sigh. “Do you really want to get into this now?”
He’s so angry the vein in his neck is still puffed out. “Yeah, I want to know exactly why you were so goddamn attracted to that loser. I mean, I give you everything you need, right? What the hell did he ever offer you other than total fucking abandonment.”
“It was more than that, Mark, and you know it. It just…wasn’t enough.” I say, defeated. I sit on the couch as Mark still stands by the door, as if Grant is going to make another appearance.
“He didn’t touch you, did he?” Mark demands.
“What, now? God, no!”
“Good. Because if he did, I’d have to go hunt the little prick down and kill him.”
“Would you grow up? He’s gone. It’s over.”
“Just what business does he have, anyway? Coming around here like he owns the fucking place. Didn’t you break up with him? Can’t the guy take a fucking hint?”
“Yes, I broke up with him, Mark. But I don’t think he ever got over me.”
“Yeah, well, he better get over you right quick, now. You and I are getting married.”
“He knows that, Mark.” I say, bored.
“Good. He better not come by here again, or next time, I will kill him.”
“Mark.” I whine. “Enough.”
Later, as Mark heads back into the office, after having dinner and calming down a lot, I call Grant’s house on a whim. I feel so awful for what happened today. Tyler answers the phone.
“Hey, Tyler.” I say warmly. “It’s Stacey. Is Grant there?”
“Err…yeah, hang on.”
Grant comes on after a brief pause, where I hear Tyler cover the phone and say something to Grant. “Stacey?” Grant says.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Hold on a sec.” he grunts, and I’m assuming he’s moving to another room for privacy.
“Hey,” he says again. “What are you doing calling here?”
“I just…I felt awful for what happened earlier with Mark. He had no right to treat you like that.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, Stacey, but that guy’s a pure asshole. I don’t know what you see in him.”
I scoff. “It’s funny, because he said that same thing to me about you. I guess you two are at an impasse.”
“Look, I don’t know what you want. If your fiancé finds out that you’ve called me, he’ll come after me, and not that I’m afraid of the jerk or anything, but I don’t need this shit in my life. I’m done with it.”
“He won’t find out, Grant. I promise. I just wanted to apologize. And to be honest, if I’d known that you were back in town, I’d have arranged to meet with you somewhere neutral, not at our house.”
“I didn’t know that you were living with the guy. You could have told me that sometime in the last eight months.” He’s borderline snide.
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“No offence, but that’s kind of lame. I mean, you could have been honest with me from the start, Stacey.”
“I know. And I’m sorry for it. I just…didn’t know how to tell you when you were so far away. I wanted to tell you in person. I swear if you had called me when you were back in town, I would have met up with you and told you right away, and that’s the truth.”
“Fine. Well, what’s done is done, I guess.”
“Yeah,”
We’re silent for a beat.
“I just don’t understand how you can love a guy like that. He’s pure ego. I know the type. He’s insecure as hell, too, judging by his reaction to me today. How can you be with a guy like that, when you and I were so good together? I just don’t get it.”
“We were good together for all the wrong reasons, Grant. It would never have worked. You were there, I was here. I just…couldn’t wait any longer.”
“Yeah, well, it seems to me like if you’d held your wad just a few more months, things would have been different. I mean, I’m back now. For good. But what’s done is done. You’re marrying the asshole and that’s that.”
“Grant.” I sigh. “Look, I never told you this, because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Yeah, heard it before, Stacey.” He’s irritated. “Let me guess, you were with him since day one. The second I left American soil you were in his pants.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Is it true?”
“Not exactly.”
“Yeah, well, it’s close enough.” Grant’s voice is low. “I just hope that you have more balls to tell this guy the truth.”
I bite my lip. Grant will never understand. To a degree, he’s been sheltered in Afghanistan, not having to worry about the realities of those he’s left behind.
“Does he know the truth about us? Did you ever tell him? You know…that you loved me and promised that we would get married and live happily ever after? Did you tell him that, Stacey?”
“Grant, you’re not being fair.” I plead. “You don’t go telling your new relationship deep details about your old one. Mark wouldn’t hear it, anyway.”
“It’s called being honest, Stacey. I’d want to know the truth. It’s just too bad that you didn’t feel the same way.”
“If he ever asked, I would have told him.”
“Bullshit. What’s in it for you, anyway, Stacey? Is he rich, famous, I know he’s got a dick the size of a gherkin, so it can’t be that. You always said I was the best sex you ever had. Did you ever tell him that?”
“Of course not.” I say flatly. “If he didn’t want to hear anything about you, it surely wasn’t that.”
“So, what is it about him, huh?”
I think for a moment. “He was here. You were there. It’s that simple.”
“So it’s a relationship of convenience, is it? Is that how you want to live your life?”
“I love him, Grant.” I’m direct. “I know that you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth.”
“Did you ever love me?”
“Of course I did! You know that!”
“When did you stop?” he asks bluntly.
“I don’t…know.”
I know what’s coming next. I can feel it like a shiver running up my spine.
“Funny thing is, Stacey…I never once stopped loving you.” Bingo.
“I get that…Grant.”
Silence.
I know what else is coming, and I can’t stop it. I know he’s going to say it before it comes out of his mouth. It’s the reason why he came to see me today. It’s the reason for that twinkle in his eye and that passion in his fight with Mark today. It’s also the reason why he took the call from me tonight, instead of relaying the message to his brother to tell me where to go.
“You want to…take some time and think about this guy…make sure that this is what you want, Stacey.” A pause for emphasis. “I’m here. And this time I’m not going anywhere; that I can promise you.”
I’m silent.
“If he’s just a bump in the road for us, I can live with that. I can set aside the fact that you cheated on me with him. I know you were lonely. I was lonely, too. Only difference was I couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole damn time I was away, and that’s the only reason why I never strayed.”
“Grant,” I say in warning. What the hell do I say?
“Just promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”
I have to stop it. “Yes. I’ll think about it.”
“I’m here.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon.” He says so low I almost can’t hear him.
“Yeah, soon.” I say.
Only it doesn’t happen
…for another six years.
Chapter 3
Grant
My brother Tyler is so in love and he doesn’t even know it yet. He’s met up with this girl…our niece’s teacher, and he’s flipped out over her. After being burned by two married women, Tyler’s stooped to an all new level…to telling chicks that he’s gay to avert any unwanted advances. It’s fucking hilarious. Actually, Ripley’s pretty cool, or Mrs. Baker…lol. Because that’s how I know her. She’s hot as hell, but like I said, she’s married. The only reason why I know her is because me and Tyler are splitting up the pickup duties for our niece, Lacey, who is Christopher and Ashley’s kid.
