Miles for Love Series Box Set, page 50
“Well, that’s good. Is it working from home?” she asks, pulling a bottle of water from her purse and taking a sip.
“Yes. They already knew about Brent’s discharge.” I squirm. “I had to get a little personal and tell them about our recent family changes, so they get it that I can’t do anything unless it’s from home.”
“Cool.” She gives me a once-over. “You look different.” She looks again, like she can’t put her finger on it.
I shrug. “I’m the same person. Maybe going away made me look different.”
“That’s probably it. You look more relaxed.” She takes another sip. “How’s it going with Brent? Your mom is having a cow worrying about you.”
“Nice that she tells me.” I comment snidely. “It’s…awkward to say the least.”
“I’ll bet.” She widens her eyes. “He been coming around a lot to see Henry?”
I sigh. “Yeah, like every day.” I raise my hand. “Which, I don’t mind so much, because Henry is crazy about his dad, but, Brent…talks to me more, and he’s…changed.”
“Did you tell him about Aleks?”
Now my eyes widen. “Are you nuts? No!”
“Have you been talking to Aleks?”
“Yeah. Here and there. It’s kind of difficult with Brent around so much. I’m hoping to play my ‘back to work’ card soon, so he’ll slow down a bit.”
She tightens her loosening ponytail. “How’s Aleks?”
I can’t help the smile. “He’s wonderful. Sweet. He keeps showing me his routine and talking to me about what we’re going to do the next time we see each other.”
“Do you guys have like…phone sex?” she snorts.
“Um…no. That’s just a tad awkward with a kid in the house and an ex who pops up out of nowhere.”
She’s silent for a minute, biting her lip. “Mal, level with me.” A pause. “Are you still in love with Brent?”
Not even a little bit. I shake my head. “I think he put a nail in the relationship casket when he left for Afghanistan.”
She places her hand on my lap. “Hear me out for a second, okay?”
I nod.
“If you’re not in love with Brent anymore, then why haven’t you even mentioned anything about Aleks to him? Are you trying to protect him?”
Considering her unexpected question, I pause. After a beat, I answer. “I guess because in a way I’m still convincing myself that Aleks and I aren’t ever going to be together. That we aren’t real. That what happened between us was a fairy tale.” I look at my hands. “Because I know that we can never be together again. And I guess by me not telling Brent about him, it makes it less…official…that I met someone else.”
“So you’re not hoping that with Brent’s return that he’ll want to get back together with you?” she asks carefully.
“No.” I say levelly.
“But if he did want to, you know, get back together…what would you do?”
I draw in a deep breath. “God, I don’t know.” I look at the ceiling, and then I put my head in my hands. “I love Aleks to death, and I’ll know I’ll never have anything like that ever again. But Brent is Henry’s dad. We have six years together. Aleks and I only had two weeks.” I put my hand in the air for emphasis. “Aleks is so goddamn talented, smart, sexy, he can have any woman he wants. He’s not going to wait around for me.”
“He bought you a car, Mal. He’s expecting you to come see him perform. He’s waiting for you.” Her tone is firm and level.
“Larissa, how can I do that? I mean, I’d love to. I would absolutely love to do that, and I would if I could. But that doesn’t change anything. He has his life there, and I have mine here. Going to see him again will only make it that much harder to leave him again.”
“Then you need to tell Brent about him.” Larissa says honestly. “Because if I’m picking up on the same vibe as you’re picking up on, and if he wants to give it another try, then him finding out about Aleks is better done sooner than later.”
I look at her like she’s just grown two heads. “What vibe are you picking up on?”
“Well, for one, if he didn’t want to see you, like he shouldn’t if you’re broken up, then he would be asking you to drop Henry off in a neutral place, rather than visiting him here.”
“He’s probably just wanting to make Henry feel at home. Keep him better adjusted.”
Larissa gives me a look. “The last few times he’s been here, you’ve told me that he sticks around until long after Henry goes to bed.”
“So? We have things to figure out.”
“And have you?”
“Kind of.” I wince.
“Mal, do yourself a favor and tell him about Aleks. If he has any intention of getting back together with you, then it’s better that he knows that first.” She pauses, and then draws in a deep breath before continuing. “Of course, you need to also decide, you know, if you want to get back together with him.”
Blinking, I’m silent for a moment. In my heart I know between both men who I love, but I also love my son. And Henry adores Brent. That is as clear as day. He really likes Aleks, too. Three or four times now, Henry and Aleks have laughed on the phone together. Aleks even showed him how he does a handstand and can walk on his hands. Henry got a real kick out of it.
Larissa interrupts my reverie with a bold statement. “And don’t accept anything other than a ring and a couple more kids from that man, if you do decide to get back together with him.” she’s only half-joking from her tone. “And a big wedding…after mine.” Now she’s just being cruel.
“Shut up.” I snuffle a laugh.
“Come on. I’m taking you to little league.” She says.
“Why?”
“This way I not only get to see my favorite six-year-old up to bat, but I also get to sit between you and Brent.”
I smirk. “Nice.”
“Hey, I do what I can to show my support.” She’s facetious.
“For what…breaking us up if there is a possibility of us getting back together?”
“I can’t help it if I’m partial to your Latvian Lover.” She winks.
“My mom and dad will hang Brent by the balls if he pulls any stunts on me again.”
“I’m sure he knows that.” She licks her lips. “Can I be there when you tell him about Aleks?”
I elbow her. “You really don’t like Brent much, do you?”
Her eyes are slits. “I want to see the man squirm.”
“What if we do get back together?”
“Then I’ll support you one hundred percent.” She says solidly.
“Lie.”
She shrugs and smiles. “Let’s go.”
***
After finally forcing Larissa out the door, I realize just how right she is. Brent has no intention of leaving until he has a chance to have me alone first. I can’t believe how blind I’ve been. The minute I bid her adieu, with the glaring expression on her face, I sit Brent down on the couch. Henry is fast asleep, exhausted from little league.
“Brent, I need to talk to you about something.” I say, inviting him to sit on the couch with me.
“Good. I was kind of hoping that I could talk to you about something, too.” He says amicably.
He looks at me with an expectant face. I draw in a deep breath. “Okay, I’m just going to come out with it.” I lift my hands in the air and then rest them on my lap. “When I was in Latvia, I met someone.”
His face, which was a moment ago somewhat bright and content, becomes forcibly impassive. “I assume you mean that you met a guy.”
I nod. “Yes, of course.”
“Are you…planning on seeing him again…I mean, is he coming here? I assume you aren’t going back there…” he’s blathering, searching for the right words to say and the appropriate things to ask. Larissa was so right I can’t stand it. Why else would he be asking me these things?
“No. He’s not coming here. I am invited to go back there, but I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to.”
He’s quiet for a minute, digesting. “Is it serious?” he finally asks.
I’d like it to be. I’m so in love with him it hurts, and I know that he feels the same, but we’re from two different countries. It would be so hard. Brent saves me from answering a difficult question by coming to his own conclusion. “Of course it isn’t serious. You were with him for all of what…two weeks?” he smirks, like the thought of something gelling into a serious relationship could happen that quickly. Someone who has been in a failed relationship for six years would think that. I say nothing, and let him believe what he wants to believe. He is silent, too. Then, after a couple of minutes, he seems to wrestle with himself on what to say next. I don’t throw him a bone. “You need some time, Mal? He asks softly, as if we both know what he wanted to talk to me about, but neither of us are going to in light of what just came to light.
Again, I don’t answer, and I let him draw his own conclusion. He rises. “Okay.” He grunts. “I should go.” And instead of being awkward, he leans in and kisses my cheek. I suddenly have the urge to go wash my face. “I’ll see ya.” He says.
What have I just done?
Chapter 29
Mallorie
The phone rings and I see it’s Aleks calling me. A smile is across my face in an instant. I’m just getting up at six o’clock in the morning, so it’s just past lunchtime in Latvia. “Hi, baby.” I say, unable to hide the happiness in my voice.
“Malishka, how are you?” he asks, sounding very chipper. He’s sitting on his front porch.
“Better now that you called.” I answer honestly. “What a nice way to start my day.”
“I was looking forward to talking to you all day, malishka. You are the only one who brightens my day.” He makes a kissing noise and I reciprocate.
“You are too sweet for words.” I gush.
“Is Henry awake yet?”
“No, but he will be soon.”
“Good. I want to show him something.” He pauses to reach over and pick up something off the table beside him. In his hand is a signed baseball. “I hope he likes this. You will need to give me your address, so I can ship it to you.” He tells me who autographed the ball, and informs me that it is some famous old player that, of course, I’ve never heard of, because I don’t pay attention to baseball. “I bought it off the internet. I would have had it shipped directly to you, but I wanted to make sure that it was authentic. The papers came with it. It is the real deal.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet. Henry will love it. Thank you.” I am so pleased. The man hasn’t even met my son, and he’s already buying things for him. “Why don’t you just send it to him, and he can open it while you’re on camera? That way you can see the surprised look on his face.”
“That is a great idea, malishka.” He agrees. I give him my address, and he tells me that he will ship it today.
“I have some great news.” I announce.
“Yes? Tell me.” he prompts, smiling from ear-to-ear.
“You know how I went for that job interview?”
“Yes,” he gestures with his hand, “did you get it?” his smile is so heartwarming.
“I did! And I can work from home again. It’s so perfect.” I shake my head. “Thank God something is working out right.”
His smile slips a notch. “Is everything else okay, malishka? Tell me.” the concern in his voice is genuine.
I wave. “Oh, nothing I can’t handle, baby. Don’t worry.” I change the subject, not wanting him to know the truth. “How is the routine coming along? Did you master those moves that you showed me the last time?”
He pinches his index finger and thumb together. “Not one hundred percent yet, no. But with some more practice, I will get there.”
“I can’t wait to see it again.”
“I can’t wait to see you again, malishka.” He says, surprising me. “It has been only four weeks, and yet it feels like I have not seen you for a year. I miss you so much. Please, tell me you will come to visit me soon.” He pleads. “I would come out there if I could, but I must practice here. After the competition, I can come and see you any time.”
I frown. “I don’t know, Aleks...I just got this job, baby. I can’t just leave now. I start next week, and I have to do training. After that I’ll be more mobile, but it will be at least a couple of weeks until then.”
“Okay, please do not stress, malishka. After your training you can see more into the future. I get it.”
“Thanks for understanding, really.”
He smiles at me and I smile at him. After a beat, he says. “You look so good, malishka.”
“I do? My hair is a mess. I just woke up. I haven’t even showered.”
“You look good to me. But then, I am biased.” He jokes.
We both chuckle. We are silent for a few moments, just looking at each other. “I love you so much.” He murmurs to me.
“I love you too.”
“I found your bra under my pillow the other day.” He says. “It still smells like you.”
I smile. “Did you hang it over the bed?”
“No, but I did hang our picture over the bed, just like you said.”
I shake my head. “It was a joke.”
“Not to me.” he smiles warmly. “Your face is the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I see in the morning. Aside from you being here, that is the best gift you could have given me.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Oh, Aleks.” I choke down a sob.
“No…no…do not cry, malishka.” He chuckles softly. “Oh, God…” he looks around, as if the way to get me to stop crying is written somewhere. Then he looks at me and starts making faces. He sticks his tongue out and pulls on his ears. I look at him and laugh out loud.
“No offence, Aleks, but what the hell are you doing?” I laugh.
“That.” He says, gesturing to me. “I had to get you to stop crying. Especially since I was the one who got you started.”
He crosses his eyes and sticks his finger up his nose. I bark out another laugh. “Stop!” I hiss, holding back a laugh. “You’re going to make me wake Henry up!”
He chuckles, putting his finger in front of his mouth, as though shushing himself. “Shoot…I am so sorry. Okay, no more crying and no more laughing.” He cuts the air with his hand.
We recover and sit for a few moments again, simply gazing at each other. “I should go, Aleks. I need to get the day started before it starts without me.”
“Okay, malishka. I need to go practice, too.” He says, scraping his face with his hand. “I love you, liybimaya.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
“I will call you later or tomorrow morning.” He says.
“Okay, have a good day.”
“You too, malishka.” He blows me a kiss and I blow him one before we hang up together.
Later, I get a call from my boss, letting me know that before fully accepting the job, that I have to do update my annual physical information as part of the protocol, before I can sign on the dotted line. I knew that. With the trip, I had forgotten that I was due. Every year since I joined the military, I have to have a complete physical exam. It’s a pain in the ass but it’s protocol. Everyone has to do it. Brent is there at the house when I get the call. He overhears everything.
“I won’t miss having those.” He says. “Have you been taking your supplements?”
“Kind of.” I snuffle a laugh.
“You still haven’t learned your lesson?” he taunts. “Since I met you, Mal, every year your doctor calls you all panicked, telling you to come in because something showed up in your bloodwork.” He shakes his head in exasperation. “Every time, your iron and B12 are dangerously low. You been tired lately?”
I nod. Then I decide that it’s time to change the subject. “So you’ve decided not to stay with the military?” I ask, grabbing my purse.
“No, I haven’t decided yet. Not unless they offer me something really good, and chances are, they won’t.” he answers honestly. “You want me to stay with Henry while you go?”
“Sure, yeah. I won’t be long.” Brent showed up, once again, out of nowhere, unannounced, on a Saturday morning. If I have a problem with it, I know I should say something, but I can’t do it. Larissa says I’m gutless. Maybe I am. Truth is I’m tired. Emotionally drained to be exact. Between worrying about work, Aleks, Brent and wondering if I’m screwing up my kid by asking his father to come around less, I find myself beyond tired.
I drop in at Larissa’s on my way back from the doctor’s. She’s knee-deep in bridal magazines when I walk in. Looking at me like she’d rather be getting her teeth pulled than looking through the pages and pages of pompous brides, she invites me to take a seat next to her on the floor. “You still have to do that? Even though you’re working from home?” Larissa asks, when I tell her where I’ve been.
“Protocol.” I say simply. “Luckily my doctor is so apt with this, they send all the required crap to work instantly. No involvement from me other than to get the bloodwork done.”
“Have you been taking your supplements, or are you going to get the famous panicked call again?” she jibes.
“Panicked call.” I answer facetiously. “You want to come with me and go for lunch?”
“Might as well keep the trend going.”
“My treat.”
“Cool.” She shrugs. “Wanna get married?” she jokes, handing me a magazine.
“What are we looking at here?” I ask, as if it isn’t obvious.
“Well, unless I want to go down the aisle in my Levi’s, I need a dress.” She pauses, giving me a stack of post-it notes, so I can indicate which dresses I think are for her. “So, how’s Brent?”
“You saw him last week.” I say, since she was at the house when Brent was there.
“Has he alluded to anything between you and him?”
“No.”
“Has he asked about Aleks?”
“Also a no.”
“Have you decided what to do?”
“About what?” I ask, flipping through the pages, mirroring what she’s doing.
