Adamant Spirits, page 178
Robin shook his head, a half-amused expression on his face. “Munchie recently took up archery, and he doesn’t have that much control yet. I didn’t trust that he’d always hit the target at the ranch. This way people can shift and run around the ranch without fear of a wayward arrow hitting them.”
“And here I thought that you’d brought it to protect me.” The words slipped from me naturally, more teasing and softer than I would have liked. Dammit, I was being lulled into comfort—the feeling of us that had always been so natural and easy.
Robin’s face turned serious. “I’ll always be there for you, Mar. I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to.” He pulled another arrow, nocked it, and let it fly.
My heart clenched as the sound of the arrow whizzing through the air dimmed and the white and blue tail feathers disappeared into the night. He kept catching me off guard with his sweet words and gestures.
“Remember when we got stranded outside Santa Fe on a road like this?” Robin asked, clearly unaware that I was feeling all the feels.
I pulled myself together quickly and looked around. “We could be in the same place, if it wasn’t for those.” I pointed at the bright lights of Vegas in the distance.
“Those lights.” Robin wrinkled his nose. “I know people get all nostalgic over their hometown, but not me. I feel that way about some people and the orphanage, but honestly, I could do without ever returning here.” He shot me an uncertain glance. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask why you came back. Of all the places on the planet, why come back to Vegas?”
I stopped walking. He mimicked me, and our gazes locked. “Where else could I have gone, Rob? I didn’t have anyone to turn to for help. At least here, I knew how to survive.”
“How could you say that you didn’t have anyone, Mar? I proposed to you, and you left.”
I shrugged, trying to pretend like a well of frustration wasn’t rising inside me. The muscles of my face tightened though, betraying my false cool persona.
“You didn’t come for me, that’s how. I thought you’d come running after me, promising to change, just like in the movies. That you’d beg for another chance, say you’d never stoop so low again.” A sob broke my voice. “But all I got was . . . silence. So yeah, I came home. It was what I knew.”
He threw his bow to the ground, making me jump. “I didn’t come after you because I wasn’t good enough!” His voice echoed through the vast nothing that surrounded us.
I blinked, not comprehending his words. “What do you mean not good enough?”
“For you,” Robin said, his gaze locked on the ground. His fists curled into tight balls. “I wasn’t good enough for you. I never was. And that night . . . well, you drove that point home, Mar.”
I took a step toward him, and the sound of the gravel moving underfoot seemed to jolt him out of his trance. He looked up, and I jerked backward. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
“I only wanted to be with you, Mar. I wanted to love you and give you everything that you deserved. I know I did it the wrong way—that I was a total idiot.” He shook his head and dragged a hand over his eyes. It came back wet. “When I stole that ring, and you denied my proposal, it hurt, but dammit, you were right. It didn’t take long for me to see that you deserved better. If I wanted you, I needed to do better, be better.” He reached forward and took my hand.
Electricity shot up and down my arm. I shivered as all my nerves lit up in a way that I hadn’t felt in far too long. His hand was cool and dry, but supple. Just like it had been all those years ago, when he’d been mine. My heart cracked open. Back then, we’d truly lived. Although we were orphans, together we were strong. The world had been ours for the taking.
A memory of Robin’s hands running up and down my body pierced my mind. Heat flared through me. His eyes hadn’t left mine, and I felt a pull to be closer to him. I bit my lip, as I trembled. My body yearned for his touch, it had for years. Until this moment, I’d been able to ignore that yearning. No longer.
Even if it would break the parts of me, I’d spent months painstakingly pulling back together, I wanted Robin.
And from the familiar look in his eyes and the scent of his arousal, I was sure he felt the same way. But did I dare let him in? Even for a moment?
“Mar,” Robin breathed.
A world of desire flooded me. I couldn’t deny the pull he had on me. Maybe this can work—as a one time thing. Closure, perhaps?
Half of me, probably the half that had downed too many drinks while catching up with old friends, believed the lie. The other half thought it was the stupidest idea I’d ever had. But honestly, the way my body was humming, I wasn’t sure if I cared.
“Mar? Are you okay?” Robin’s voice was low and raspy.
“Let’s shift,” I blurted out.
A shifter’s most primal nature came out when they shifted. If I was going to deny reason, which I desperately wanted to do, releasing my fox would make it much easier. If I was in my fox aspect, and did something I’d later regret, it would be easier to forgive myself.
“Shift . . .” Robin’s eyes grew wide. “Are you sure?”
In answer, I gave in to my magic. Fur sprouted from my skin, and my body contorted, shrinking in on itself. My nose and ears elongated, and claws grew where nails had been. A tail sprouted, and magic made my clothes and anything I carried disappear temporarily.
I fell to all fours and shook, reveling in the sensation of air flowing through each follicle of my fur. I sniffed at the air, taking in the aromas of the night. Although shifters had a sensitive sense of smell in human form, it was nothing compared to their animal form.
Sand, rubber burning at least a mile away, cactus water, and finally, the scent of another fox tantalized my nostrils. I turned to find a red and white fox, his tail and ears raised, his fur gleaming, and his head cocked to one side.
He always was such a handsome fox.
As if hearing my thoughts, Robin approached. He slid to my side and rubbed his long, silky body along mine.
Every cell in my body quivered with desire. I needed him. My body wasn’t just aching for him to relieve my tension—my heart was too.
I need this closure so I can move on, I told myself, aware that it was only a lie I wished to come true. But while the closure issue was iffy, one thing was certain. I hadn’t been laid in months, and right now I desperately needed the sexual release. My body knew Robin’s well, and it was crying for physical intimacy in a way I’d never experienced before. Aching for it.
Old Marian, meet sex kitten Marian. She wants something, she takes it.
I turned tail and sprinted for home.
Robin followed, and my heart rate sped up. Eventually, he caught up, and we ran side by side. Robin’s fur—a deeper red than mine—glistened in the moonlight. His paws pounded the dirt, and he released an excitable yip.
The sound was so alluring, so wild and free, that it took all I had not to jump on him. But I kept running, deciding to give myself the time to change my mind—for my reason to win out.
It didn’t.
The second I rushed onto my front stoop, I shifted back to human. Robin followed my lead, and a breath later, my back met the door. His hands landed on my hips and our lips met, hungry and needy. Slowly, his hands traveled up to run through my hair, tugging gently near the roots just like I liked it.
A moan rang from my lips, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had made my decision. I fumbled for my keys, slamming them in the lock.
Robin tensed, and his eyes snapped open. “Mar, are you sure? I want this, but I know you—”
I shoved the door open and yanked him inside.
Eight
Sunlight drizzled in through my window, and I stretched across my bed, long and luxurious. Robin’s hand flopped over my side to rub my stomach before falling still.
My lips twitched upward as I twisted to peek at him. His eyes were closed, his lips parted in light slumber.
He looks so sweet. Nothing like the man who’d ravished me last night.
Heat pooled in my core. In our years apart, both Robin and I had learned a few new tricks. Last night, his tricks had rocked my world and reminded me what it felt like to really desire someone and to be desired. And hot damn, it was amazing.
Moving quietly, I washed up, prepared breakfast, and got ready for work. I’d finished my hair and patted my arrow necklace into position beneath the high neckline of my uniform when Robin appeared at the bathroom door.
Butt naked. My heart gave a hard thunk as he grinned at me.
Oh, dear lord, I did not anticipate this . . .
My mouth dried up as my eyes raked down his muscular body to his perfect, sexy hip “V”. His chest tattoo, a tribal fox which I’d discovered last night, tempted me to run my hands across it. Robin possessed a body few women could resist and a smile that would make the most holy of people want to sin.
“Morning, Mar-Bear.” Robin swaggered into the bathroom and pushed my hair behind my shoulder. His soft lips found the crook of my neck and began to explore.
“Mmmm,” I sighed. Unable to help myself, my eyes fluttered closed as my head dropped the opposite way, allowing him more access.
“Mar, take that uniform off and come back to bed,” Robin rasped as his hands ran down my body, sending shivers through me. “I don’t want you to go to work. I want you here, with me, like old times.”
With me, like old times.
The words ran through my heart like a bullet, and my eyes snapped open. No! What was wrong with me?! This was not supposed to be about old times! Last night had been about closure, and giving into my fox, giving her what she needed physically. My teeth dug into my bottom lip as Robin, oblivious to my inner turmoil, continued to inch my skirt up and worship my body. By the ancients, this touch felt so good, only proving one thing.
I was an idiot. Why had I allowed my lies to take me over? To convince me I could handle this? Clearly, I wasn’t strong enough to keep Robin out of my heart. And one thing was certain—if I allowed this to continue, I wouldn’t survive another breakup.
I wrenched myself out of Robin’s grasp.
“Mar!” Robin’s head snapped up and his eyes met mine. “What’s wrong—”
“I’m late for work. Gotta go!”
“B—but you don’t have to go back there,” Robin sputtered. It was the opposite of what he’d said yesterday, and I understood why. Our night of passion had affected him too, and Robin had never wanted to put me in danger.
Too bad I’m not his to protect, I thought, scooting the hem of my skirt down inch by inch.
“Someone needs to scout more,” I said. “I’m the best choice.”
“I can send someone else to scout the casino. Most of the group won’t be in on the heist, anyway.” He gripped my hand and electricity crackled up my arm. “Stay with me, Mar.”
“I have to go!” I grabbed my shoes and bag and ran out the door.
I exhaled a sigh of relief. Will had already been there and my car was parked outside, just as Robin had assured me it would be. As I stumbled to my car, I cursed myself for drinking so much that I actually believed a casual night of sex with Robin was possible.
I never had been a woman capable of pulling off easy sex. So, what the hell had I been thinking? Or maybe the better question was, why hadn’t I been thinking?! And now here I was, stuck in a boiling hot car, furious with myself, while my childhood sweetheart lingered inside my house, naked and sexy as fuck. I bit my bottom lip hard.
Sex kitten Marian is a god-damned idiot.
The AC finally kicked in, and I swore to myself that no matter what, I wouldn’t allow that hussy sex kitten to make the same mistake again.
I pushed my housekeepers’ trolley down the hallway of the hotel. I was gearing up to enter the next room when a tinkle of laughter caught my attention. I turned as an attractive young couple rounded the corner. They were staring into each other’s eyes like they couldn’t wait to rip their clothes off. For the millionth time that day, memories from the night before came rushing back.
Shame welled up inside me. I was so disappointed in myself. And confused—terribly confused.
How had I tricked myself into believing that sleeping with Robin would lead to closure? Sure, the alcohol and fox aspect had lowered my inhibitions, but I’d made both those choices. Honestly, was I that pathetic?
The worst part was that even though I knew sex with Robin—being with Robin—was bad for me and would lead to depression, now I craved him more than ever.
Stupid body. Why couldn’t it be about the sex? Just this once! That’s all I was asking . . .
With a heavy sigh, I opened the door to the next room and frantically began cleaning, hoping that it would calm my mind. I’d plowed through the room like a cleaning machine and was fluffing a pillow when a voice stopped me.
“Marian?” Anna trilled from the hallway. “Are you in there?”
“One sec.” I straightened the covers before going to meet the maid lingering in the doorway. I couldn’t believe that until two days ago my lazy co-worker had been my biggest cause for angst.
If only that was the case now.
“What’s up, Anna?”
Instead of her usual pursed lips and snarky remarks, she beamed at me. “I have—umm, an appointment—and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking over the last of my assignments for the day?”
I refrained from rolling my eyes. Her hair was down, curled to perfection, and her lipstick was freshly applied. Her appointment was surely in Albus’ office.
“Yeah, I can do it.”
What the hell, I’d be calling in “sick” the next day, and she’d have to pitch in then. I supposed that in a messed-up way, helping Anna out now would reduce my guilt over all the trouble I would cause later. I didn’t want to feel like I owed anyone anything.
“Leave the paperwork on my cart,” I told her. “I’ll take care of it.”
She pulled a sheet of paper out of her apron and tucked it in my clipboard on the cart. “Thanks. There are only four rooms left. Oh! And you’ll need these. You can drop them in my locker when you’re done with them, ‘kay?”
Anna unlatched an old school set of keys from a clip on her hip. My brows furrowed. The Oasis kept a few old-fashioned quirks at the behest of our vampire proprietors, but key card entry was standard for all rooms.
“Which room are these for?” I asked as I took the keys.
“Sherwood and Jehanne’s suite. Haven’t they ever assigned you to clean their penthouse?”
No, they hadn’t asked me to clean their home. I’d always assumed a personal maid did that task, not the Oasis staff. Then again, why pay someone else to do something when you already have a team of maids at your disposal?
At my silence, Anna continued, “You’ll get paid extra. I’ll make sure Albus knows to put it on your paycheck. Most of the time it’s claimed before I even get here, but no one wanted it today, so Albus gave it to me. Save extra time at the end of your shift. The place is flipping huge.”
“Thanks for the tip,” I said, my brain whirring as a revelation came over me.
The vampires were staying down the strip at the Diamond Casino. They wouldn’t leave until they were done socializing and finalizing business. I really could take my time. Would I find something in the penthouse that might help with the heist? Or proof of my parents’ murder? Blood skittered through my veins at the thought. It was unlikely, after all, they’d been dead for years. But I still had to try. I must have looked deep in thought, because Anna was staring at me strangely.
I cleared my throat and tried to look less like someone who’d had an amazing idea. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Oh, yeah! I better get going!” She turned but stopped midway, her big, blue eyes gravitating to the top of my head. “FYI your bobby pins are sticking straight up again. You should really consider a different style. This one isn’t working for you.” She shook her head like she always did when she commented on my laid-back style.
Whatever. She could deal. I hated keeping my hair down when I cleaned and wearing a ponytail for hours was asking for a headache. The half-up, half-down style I’d settled on was functional, even if the pins moved about from time to time.
“Thanks.” I fixed the pins.
“No problem. Since you won’t take my beauty tips, the least I can do is make sure your locks don’t look a total mess.”
She threw a delicate wave and sashayed down the hall. The annoyance I’d normally feel at her jabs rolled through me faster than ever. There was no time to worry about Anna. I had work to blast through, and a penthouse suite to search.
Hours later, I finally finished my daily tasks and hightailed it upstairs. Completing my work had been excruciating when all I wanted to do was go to the penthouse and look for evidence about my parents’ murders. But had I left rooms uncleaned, someone would have come looking for me. I didn’t want a single interruption while I searched Sherwood’s apartment. Waiting sucked, but it gave me more security.
I retrieved the old-fashion key, my hand trembling from pent up adrenaline rushing through me. The key clicked in the lock, and the door to Sherwood’s suite swung open without the slightest sound. I sucked in a shallow breath, stepped inside, and listened for sounds of the apartment’s inhabitants. Although I’d heard the vampires were on a retreat, I had to be sure that they weren’t there. After a few seconds of listening and sniffing the air, two fox senses that were stronger than my vision, I concluded that I was, in fact, alone.
Two days wasn’t enough time to get over the fact that I’d been working for my parents’ killer for years. However, it was enough time to rein in my emotions, and force myself to think strategically.
I wanted to find concrete proof that Sherwood had been implicit in my parents’ murder. That way, after our heist, which I couldn’t risk messing up, I could call in a tip that would put him away for good.
Ready to do some sleuthing, my gaze swept the penthouse suite, taking in the whites, golds, blacks, and occasional pops of red that dotted the main living spaces. The aesthetic was severe, full of hard-looking furniture with stark lines, red blown glass, floor-to-ceiling windows, and harsh, angular paintings.
