Adamant Spirits, page 100
But somehow in the midst of all this, thinking of her as just a good guard felt like a reduction, too. His mind was playing tricks on him. Best to get out of here fast.
He dropped his hands. “I’m sorry,” he backpedaled. “That sounded…” He couldn’t say it. “I didn’t mean—”
“Yes.” She bounced on her toes a little. “I want to see this.”
Thirteen
Sophia negotiated each rung of the ladder with the utmost care. Climbing the bell tower in heels and a mermaid-cut gown hadn’t been the best idea, but she didn’t regret it.
The ballroom had become stifling. Too much scheming, too many charades, and the life of an innocent guard—someone who had saved her—hung in the balance. Maybe Dad could tolerate that, but she couldn’t. The arrogance, the laziness, the willingness to destroy one of their own still crept over her skin, making her itch.
Niko climbed onto the platform and offered her a hand, then easily pulled her through the opening. As one of the few structures in all of Nios that hadn’t been computer generated, the bell tower bore the wear and tear of the real world. The aged wooden planks and wrought-iron railing were about the oldest things she’d ever seen in Nios. Somehow that was a comfort. It wasn’t flawless, but nothing ever really was. At least this place felt real.
She crept to the railing, allowing the stiff breeze to blow through her curls and soothe her. The last rays of sunlight were fading on the horizon. People had already started to congregate in the square below. Children squealed and chased each other. Soft laughter and jovial voices drifted upward. Such happiness, but it had been marred by the investigation. She couldn’t shut her eyes anymore to the downfalls and tragedies that had led to this perfection. It was bittersweet.
Niko stood beside her, warmth emanating from him. “Are you okay? I can help you back down—”
“No. It’s not that,” she replied, rubbing the corroded metal of the railing under her thumb. “How did I blindly enjoy things like this before? How did I miss all the sacrifices that go into…” She waved a hand at the square. “This. I feel like such an idiot.”
“No.” Niko’s voice was low and comforting. Her gaze wandered to him, and he tightened his lips like he was holding back.
She didn’t want him to.
She looked away, brushing her curls behind her shoulder.
“What we do is important. This,” he said, pointing to the crowd below. “It’s exactly why we fight. So this can be real. No matter what happens, I won’t regret that.”
She blinked. That’s exactly why she fought, too—for her home, everything she loved. So children could giggle and stay up late, so families could focus on building memories like these rather than fearing for their safety. So no one else had to live without their mothers. He felt the same way?
“Very few people have seen what we’ve seen, and most people who do see it turn away. They pretend it’s not there. You’re different.”
A laugh escaped from her tight throat. Maybe that was the problem. “I feel different, all right,” she murmured.
He turned to face her, and she did the same before she even realized it.
“It’s not a bad thing. You’re genuine and brave. You’re a great sparring partner.” He shrugged, smirking. “You tried to take me out with a swing kick. I gotta say I didn’t see that coming. You’re the only person I know who doesn’t seem to mind 4:00 a.m. wake up calls.” He flashed a wide smile. “And you read paper books. Who does that?”
Her books.
Heat blazed in her cheeks. He’d noticed her fairytales on the shelves in her room. Her gaze dropped to the floor, and she couldn’t pick it up. She nodded, keeping her head low. “After my mom died, my dad was still out in the field a lot. He would bring me fairytales when he would come home. I guess he wanted me to have an escape.”
“I wasn’t bringing up the books in a bad way.” The urgency in his voice jarred her. “Don’t change, Sophia—especially not for the Leadership. Promise me. No matter what happens with the investigation, no matter where you end up after all this, you won’t change.”
She rubbed her arms as another breeze blew by. She’d have to change, wouldn’t she? Either she’d have to find a way to stomach the Guard’s complacency, or she’d have to leave the Guard. She glanced out on the square as the crowd grew, remembering graduation. Even then, with her father assigned to black ops, she’d wanted to stand up and defend all this so badly. But it had turned out to be a lonely battle. Most people seemed obsessed with their own careers. And just when she’d found someone like herself, he might be taken away. “This is a far cry from a fairytale, Niko.”
A twinge. Faint, but distinct in her core, like walking with a pebble in her shoe. A lie—she’d lied to him just now. It wasn’t intentional, but even as she’d said the words, she’d known they weren’t true.
There was more to fairytales than the end, and her heart had drawn the similarities the moment he’d mentioned her books. Leadership’s betrayal, the battles waged, the losses they’d suffered, and yet here Niko stood. He’d been irascible when they’d met, but that wasn’t who he was; he’d proven to be genuine and selfless.
He’d been there when she’d needed him most. He fought for good, and his passion—she smiled and allowed her gaze to wander over his broad shoulders to the tips of his tattoos. Even in the faint light, she could see the golden hue of his skin and feel the weight of his intensity. While she kind of preferred the tousled look he had when they were working out, the way he’d looked tonight in his formal dress uniform—the whole package… she drew in a breath.
Yep. She’d lied.
Regardless of what she felt, the idea of them was a fairytale. She was an L-1, barely noticeable to someone like him. And she’d seen the way women looked at him when they were out on runs; they practically threw themselves at him right then and there.
Yellow light shifted around them. The holograms. Hundreds of glowing images floated by, surrounding the tower in beautiful warmth and stealing her breath.
Perfection.
Not the facade she’d witnessed at the ball. Real, authentic beauty surrounded them. Darkness waited for them below. The cost of the beauty hadn’t been fully paid, but for now it was here, with them. She peered at him only to find his gaze locked on her.
Turn away. Be professional.
She didn’t. Instead, she took a step closer, unable to look away.
His hands drifted out toward her, then snapped to his side.
“You’re right.” He heaved a deep sigh. The yellow light on his face faded as the holograms rose beyond the tower. “This isn’t a fairytale. Send me your reassignment request. I’ll do what I can to get you a good assignment while I still can.”
The moment shattered. The magic, gone. He thought she’d give up on him so she could get a good assignment?
“You think I care about assignments right now? They could hand you over for criminal prosecution.”
His chest deflated with a heavy sigh. “Don’t worry about me, Sophia.”
“I know what really happened. You want me to forget and move on?” She raised her voice. “Look down on you from my cozy new office, think ‘that’s a shame,’ and just move on?”
“Black ops is over,” he said, his eyes too intense. “I’ve burnt too many bridges, but you can change things in the future.”
“I want to change things now…”
For you…
She shook the thought away. Sure, he deserved to be cleared, but there was more to it than that. She couldn’t leave him behind. All the things she’d seen without noticing, his selflessness, intelligence, sheer aptitude in combat—big brown eyes, his gleaming smile when he was happy, those tattoos.
“Listen to me. You don’t have to be held back by this. You are an amazing guard.”
Guard?
Her mind swelled with irrational disappointment.
Of course that’s all he’d see when he looked at her. She’d fought for a spot on this unit. She’d earned it. That’s what mattered.
“I want to stay on the unit,” she insisted, backing away.
His massive shoulders sagged. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but your dad is head of Personnel Command. You know how this ends.”
She glared at him, pressing her lips together to hold back a multitude left unsaid. She didn’t care how the Leadership wanted it to end. “I’m not giving up.”
The sky gleamed gold, but he stood in the shadows, shaking his head. “It has been an honor to fight alongside you.”
“Then keep fighting with me,” she begged. “I know the odds, but that doesn’t mean we can walk away. Until our very last breath, we have a choice.”
“I will fight this to the end,” he said, his voice low and solemn. Her hands ached to reach out and touch him. He cleared his throat, moving away. “You know you have a spot in the unit for as long as you want it, but for your sake, you should start thinking about your next step.”
That might have been wise… if she could forget him. “I’m not interested in—”
“We’ll fight this together under one condition,” he continued.
She planted a hand on her hip. What would he ask now?
“I will fight, but I will not take you down with me—that’s my choice. If there comes a time when I run out of choices, you’ll have to accept it and find a new assignment far away from me.”
She didn’t want to think of a time when Leadership finally cornered Niko, but deep down she knew it was a possibility. He was an easy mark for them.
Regardless, she and Niko would be fighting this together for now. It was as good a deal as any. She nodded, even though inside she was gearing up for the battle that waited for them below.
Fourteen
Niko dropped the barbell and shook out his hands. A couple more intervals of dead lifts, and he’d move to the box jumps or maybe just run until he hit exhaustion.
Sophia was good, bold, beautiful…
And totally off limits.
A group of guards passed by, eying the weight he was lifting. Maybe if they came to the gym to lift weights instead of gawk at people, they’d be able to lift more, too. He hated the main gym in the barracks, but it was his only option after breaking the punching bag. He lifted the bar again for slow, controlled reps.
Time was running out, but Sophia refused to acknowledge that. Leadership only needed one scapegoat, but if she stayed too long she’d get caught in the crossfire, and he didn’t want that. She was a good guard—the kind of person who could actually change things at the highest levels. And she was risking all of it.
He shouldn’t have even gone to the ball. He’d said too much—felt too much. And now the feel of her in his arms was in his head. At this point, he didn’t even trust himself to tell her how much he respected her. Even a little bit of the truth would unravel the rest. She’d connect it all; she was too smart not to, and what would she do then?
He could still picture her in his office, feet planted, eyes glinting when he’d called her Anton’s girl. Despite Niko’s efforts to wash her out, nothing he’d done in the entire first month of knowing her had drawn her out quite like that. She definitely didn’t need another guard falling for her. If she knew, would she resent him, too?
There’d been a light in her eyes last night, moments where she’d gotten close. His fingers curled, feeling empty. He’d wanted to wrap his arms around her, feel the warmth radiating through her silk dress, kiss her.
He gripped the barbell and started another interval, but it wasn’t helping him forget—nothing had helped, but he needed to find something before he could face her again. Right now, he still wanted to throw that bar with all its weight through the window. Staying away from equipment that could be turned into projectiles was probably the best course of action.
Time for a run. He strode to the door.
“Going on a run by yourself?” Anton called from behind him.
Niko halted.
“I thought all those runs were to get Sophia alone. We both know how you like to parade around with her.”
A veil of red clouded his vision, making it impossible to speak. It would be bad if he threw Anton through the window, right? Or would it be a favor to everyone? He turned around, glare settling on Anton’s smug face as he strolled closer. “Some of us actually need physical training for our job, Anton—not that I’d expect you to understand.”
“We’ll see how much longer that’s necessary,” Anton replied, lips twitching upward.
He had to force the words from his tight chest. “Because of your order.”
“You heard what you wanted to hear—because you’re impulsive, violent, and dangerous.”
Niko flinched. “I know I’m a monster, Cipriani. Do you know you’re one, too?” He took a step closer, but Anton stood his ground. “I never wanted that mission. I told you it was too dangerous, and you ignored that. This is on you.”
Anton held out his arms with a beaming grin. “My word against yours, I guess.”
“I would never have put my unit in danger like that.”
“Your unit? Last I checked, your leadership duties were suspended at the disciplinary panel. I’m the commander of the black ops unit now.”
A breath rumbled out of Niko’s chest, sounding like a growl. Defeated. Without so much as a fight. He needed to get out of here before he decided to dole out justice himself.
“Speaking of the unit,” Anton said, tilting his head. “I’ll be reassigning Sophia. As her commander, it’s my job to make sure the best and brightest aren’t mired by something like this.”
Niko grinned. “Try it. She’ll take your head off.”
The smile dropped from Anton’s face. Without throwing a punch, Niko had drawn blood.
“We’ll see about that. You’ll be gone soon. Then who will she be loyal to?”
A kick to the solar plexus would shut Anton up, but when he’d promised Sophia he’d fight—she hadn’t meant like that. Instead, he shrugged. “We’ll see where the investigation leads.”
“The investigation is over,” Anton spat. “Postponing the hearing got you nothing.”
“There’s still time,” he said as casually as he could. “Maybe I’ll go back to the scene and see what I can find.”
“No, you won’t.” Anton’s lips curled. “If you had come back with actionable intelligence, this might have been a different conversation, but you didn’t, and now we need to bury this whole thing—and you with it. Stay away from Santa Rita. It’s already going to be a nightmare to fix because of you. It’s over. Accept it. That’s an order.”
Niko doubled over with laughter. “You make it sound like your orders mean something.”
“You think I got to where I am without getting my hands dirty?” Anton stepped directly in front of him, features tight. “I don’t need a pulse gun to kill you.”
Niko’s laughter faded. He stepped toe to toe with Anton, squared his shoulders, and met his glare. “I’m not scared of your threats.”
“You should be. Imagine the commendations I’d get if I stopped a rogue guard from trying to restart the war with the Tavians.”
“Restarting the war?” Niko rolled his eyes. “That’s a stretch. Even for you.”
“I thought you’d get it by now,” Anton snickered. “It’s all about what the evidence suggests.”
Niko searched his face—wild eyes set in taut features with bulging jaw muscles. Two Level-1s lifted weights about ten yards away. Another Level-3 drank water off to the side. If he throttled Anton right now, he was pretty sure no one could stop him in time.
A flurry of white came to a stop in his periphery. Royce in his usual robes, but what was he doing in the Guard’s gym? A small man who had to be about the same age as Royce straggled behind him. Royce’s gaze fixed on Niko, and he inclined his head before walking out.
“As interesting as this is, I have to go,” Niko said, stretching his neck and forcing the tension from his muscles. “Maybe you can tell me about your own magnificence some other time.”
“Keep to your orders, Kalos!” Anton shouted after him.
You mean hurry up and die for your mistakes.
If Niko was going to burn for this, he’d figure out a way to take Anton with him. He stormed out of the gym and scanned the barracks’ large lobby. It was nearly empty. Niko walked one way, then another, searching the many alcoves and corners used for meetings, friendly gatherings, and even the occasional casual hook up. He’d nearly gotten to the end of the space when someone cleared their throat from behind him. There, in the far corner, Royce smiled.
“Lieutenant Kalos, it’s been too long.” Royce’s voice was as casual as it was serene.
“I’ve been a little busy,” Niko said, rolling his shoulders to release the tension. “What are you doing here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be under constant protection in your compound?”
“Yes, but I’m a Seer.” Royce shrugged. “Slipping through the security perimeter is one of my favorite games. Anyway, I simply hate unsolved riddles. I’ve mulled over your case for days, and it occurred to me I should introduce you to someone.”
Niko raised an eyebrow, hoping this was going somewhere, but he never could tell with Royce.
“This is Edwin Harper. He’s one of Nios’s finest cyber engineers.”
Edwin’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, showing his age, and he extended his hand. “How do you do, Mister—I mean, Lieutenant Kalos.”
Niko drew in a breath and forced a smile before shaking his hand. It was a wonder this man was still working at all.
“Edwin helps to manage many of the systems that integrate with our implants. In fact, he built quite a few of them before the war.”
“Great. Can he monitor the Tavians, too? That’s the only way I’m going to know how they found us,” Niko snapped.
Royce pursed his lips. “No, but he often can find communications.”
Niko’s gaze shifted between the two men. “And you found someone who has been communicating with the Tavians?”
