The Secrets of a Sin, page 29
After classes and a long, overly extended announcement about Sister Mary taking over as Principal, I decided to head back to my room where I’d impatiently sat waiting for Arsen. Six hours doesn’t seem like a super long time, but to me, with nothing to keep myself preoccupied, they were the longest six hours of my life. And it was only seven right now.
So, I just sat on my bed, and I did what I do best, think. I thought about my future. Arsen and I’s future after I leave St. Catherine’s. Would he want me to move in with him? What was I even going to do after I graduated? Go to college? Which college? And what the hell would I study?
Everything was so simple right now. We talked, we spent time together, we fucked. Three very easy things that weren’t exactly that effortless for us. And to mix in more stresses, we had Phoebe’s murder to solve. It should have been hard to even think about screwing someone who just lost his sister and recruited you to help solve her murder, but as depraved as we are, we couldn’t help it. We were drawn to each other like two polar magnets, and once we connected, it was a celestial explosion.
Fucking heavenly beyond words. I seem to have found a new obsession. A new disease that I pray I’m never cured of.
Then suddenly, breaking the silence in my room, a knock on my door vibrates the walls.
“Who is it?” I shout, feeling lazy and not wanting to leave my bed.
“It’s me.”
Annalise.
Fuck.
I instantly want to tell her to go away, but a gut feeling tells me I shouldn’t. Perhaps if I talk with her more, I can try to pry out information about Phoebe. As much as Arsen would hate it, I need to do this for him. Despite his reluctance.
“Come in.” I announce as nicely as I can, knowing our last few encounters didn't exactly go too well. If I was going to get her to confess, I needed to play nicely.
The door gradually opens, and a flash of her blonde curls comes into view before her whole frame enters the room. I immediately notice she’s changed from her uniform to a short black miniskirt and a hot pink blouse that hangs off each shoulder.
“Hey.” She grins, with her hands still on the door.
“Hi.” I smile back, wondering why she was so dressed up, but I had a feeling that before she was sent here, she wore outfits like this constantly.
“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot the other day.” She groans while dropping her focus onto the ground before glancing back up. “I said some terrible things that I’m sure made you extremely uncomfortable. I just want to apologize and hope you still want to be my friend.” She frowns.
Slightly taken back by her apology, I skeptically study her before brushing my hair behind my ears. “It’s fine.” I answer, still slightly embarrassed by what has happened between us in the time span of us knowing each other.
Sighing, she shuts the door and stalks over to my bed before dropping down beside me. Right away, I can smell her floral perfume as it enters my nostrils and possibly my bloodstream by how potent it is. “It’s not fine, Charlotte.” She groans sadly. “I just want us to be friends. I want you to like me, not hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.” I respond, even though I’m not entirely sure how I felt about her. Or Priscilla and Verity, for that matter.
“I tried coming here this morning to apologize, but I ran into Arsen Hale.” She scowls with darkened eyes. I try not to react, but my form stiffens.
“You did?” I question stupidly.
“I caught him roaming the halls, close to where Verity’s room is.” She focuses on me as my heart sinks. “I stopped and asked him what he was doing here, but he caged me into the wall and told me to keep my mouth shut.”
Verity?
Why the hell would he be by Verity’s room?
I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch something and scream at the possibility of him and Verity together, but another part of me told me it was nothing. There was no possible way he would be with her and do that to me.
“Are you okay?” I ask on a swallow that burns my throat. She smiles at me then grabs my hand softly, intertwining our fingers together.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just don’t like him.” She admits, and all I can do is nod because what else can I do?
I couldn’t let her know about Arsen and me. I couldn’t let anyone know about us, but the stabbing feeling in my heart made me want to peel over and cry. I needed a way to talk to him now, to ease my mind, and for him to tell me I was the one he wanted. I needed his possessiveness.
“I have an idea.” She rubs her soft digit over the top of my hand. “How about we go out? We can have a girl’s night and have some fun.”
That sounded like an awful idea and something that I had no intention of doing. Being out alone with Annalise sounded like trouble. Dangerous trouble that I didn’t need to get in.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I shake my head. “I’m not really in the mood to go out, anyway.” I try to remove my hand from her grip, but she only tightens it.
“Come on.” She pleads. “It’ll be so much fun. Plus, I want to make up for being awful to you.”
Her eyes shone with a hopeful glimmer, but I wasn't falling for her tricks again. Like I mentioned once, she’s always used to getting what she wants.
She continues to stare intensely through me, but the ringing of a phone interrupts us. She moves her focus to her back pocket and pulls out her phone before answering it.
“Hello?” She asks.
Her eyebrows dip in confusion, and she stands up.
“Hold on, Verity. I can barely hear you. Where are you?”
She pauses, listening to Verity on the other end.
“You're at Club69? With who?”
Her eyes then fill with flames.
“Priscilla’s there? She never told me she was going out?”
Finally, her mouth forms into a straight line.
“Arsen? As in Arsen Hale is there?”
What the hell?
Everything inside my body shuts down, and the only thing left is pure wrath. Why was he in a fucking club? Was he there with Verity?
My eyes burn with the need to cry, but I need to hold it together. I couldn’t let her see that I was crying because of him, even though my heart felt as though it was being ripped out of my chest and repeatedly stepped on.
“Verity, you’re breaking up. I can barely hear you anymore.” Annalise tries moving around the room to get a good signal, but as she removes the phone from her ear, she curses.
“Well, I should probably go and check on them and make sure they’re not doing anything stupid.” She growls out, irritated, as I slowly rise to my feet.
“I think I changed my mind. I want to go with you.”
I was dressed like a slut. A short black dress that barely covered my ass and clung to my body like a second skin. Since being at St. Catherine's, my wardrobe consisted of uniforms and comfy clothing, and I happened to like the simplicity of it. But as I walked along the concrete sidewalk leading to the crowded club, I felt like an entirely different girl. Not exactly like the old Charlotte, but someone new.
Someone I wasn’t quite sure I liked yet.
With Annalise trailing beside me, we started passing the line of people waiting to get inside. I could feel their heated stares all over my body, tracing their eager eyes all over my exposed skin as if I was a walking meal to them. As much as I hated it, Annalise appeared less than bothered.
“Shouldn’t we be waiting in the back of the line?” I ask while peering over at her, but she scoffs at my question.
“Absolutely not.” She chuckles. “Have you taken a good look at us tonight? We’re the fucking main attraction.” We then abruptly come to a stop in front of a large security guard, who’s watching us with the same amount of fervor as the line of people did. He was tall and burly with a tattoo of a heart right below his eye, but as I was slightly intimidated and creeped out, Annalise was the complete opposite.
“The line’s back there, ladies.” He nods behind us with an interested expression across his chubby face.
I shuffle a little closer to Annalise’s side as she puts on her signature smile that would hypnotize anyone to do whatever she pleased. And this man looked about ready to do anything for her, including jumping off a cliff, if she asked.
“Oh sweetie, we don’t wait in lines.” She grins as her hand clasps around mine, and his eyes follow the movement. He immediately leers at the two of us with heated desire and a devious smirk as if he just realized something.
“What makes you think I’ll let you through?” He crosses his tatted arms over his chest with a raised brow. Impatient and still feeling like my heart is about to crack at any second, I scowl in his direction as Annalise does something completely uncalled for and unsuspected. She twirls her head around until her eyes synch with mine, and before I know it, she’s wrapping her hand around my head and pulling me down hard onto her lips.
At first, my eyes widen in utter horror at her aggression. The last thing I wanted to do was kiss Annalise, especially in front of a group of onlookers and a security guard who’s groaning at our very public display of affection. Her lips are incredibly soft and warm and taste like cherry lip gloss. I was too stunned to move or even react, but I didn't pull away, even though I knew I should have. I briefly feel the tip of her tongue tease the seam of my lips, dragging all along my mouth until she gradually pulls away. My eyes slowly open, connecting with hers in confusion, and she smiles wide.
“Can you let us in now?” She shifts her attention to the security guard, whose blatant lust is written all over his practically drooling mouth. “You can see that us girls are just trying to get into some fun tonight, and I’d hate for you to be the one to ruin that.”
I watch his throat move as if he’s swallowing. Then, with a sidestep and a wave of his hand, he lets us through.
“I ain't gonna be the asshole to ruin your night.” He grumbles. “You sure as fuck just made mine better.”
With a loud squeal, she peers down at me excitedly before dragging me through the doors of the club. As soon as we enter, I’m assaulted with the thumping bass of the dance music vibrating throughout the busy nightclub. Strangers fill the dimly lit building to the point we have to weave in and out between them just to get past the entrance.
“I need a drink!” She shouts over the loud music, and all I can do is nod in return.
All I had on my mind was finding Arsen, but it seems almost impossible in a place like this. As I follow behind Annalise, I scan my eyes over the overcrowded dance floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. With the flashing neon lights and the huddle of people gyrating on one another, I couldn’t get a clear look at any of them. He could be anywhere in here.
He could be dancing.
Sitting at the bar.
Hiding in a dark corner.
But the real question is, is he alone?
My skin felt sticky and clammy as I bumped my shoulders and elbows into everyone I tried passing. I was as uncomfortable as I was worried, but as we came to a stop at the bar, I felt as though I could breathe a little easier.
“What do you want?” She asks while resting her elbows on the wooden top. Standing awkwardly beside her, I stare at the plethora of liquor bottles stacked onto a shelf and scan my eyes over each one. Alcohol was the number one thing sex addicts were told to avoid. Combine the two, and it can make things far worse and more damaging. So that’s why I avoid it at all costs.
“Nothing. I’m fine.” I decline and shift my eyes down the long bar that’s seated with all sorts of people. But none of them are Arsen.
“Seriously? Nothing?” She laughs jokingly. “How about I order you what I get, and if you want it, you can drink it.”
I knew I wasn’t, but I didn't feel like arguing with her.
She orders some vodka drinks, and surprisingly, the bartender doesn’t ask for an ID. Apparently, when you're good-looking, you don’t get carded here. As soon as she grabs the glasses, we make our way over to a spot towards the side of the dance floor that’s not as crowded and find a small round table to mingle around.
“I think we need to get out on the dance floor.” She sips on her straw as her eyes focus on the mass of people dancing wildly. Her eyes sparkle with longing as mine only fill with annoyance.
I thought she wanted to come here to find Verity and Priscilla?
“What about Priscilla and Verity?” I question while taking it into my own hands to scour the club for them.
I wasn’t in the mood to dance, party, or drink when all I felt like doing was giving Arsen a piece of my mind when I saw him. I wanted him to grovel at my feet for the hell he’s putting me through right now.
“I’m sure we’ll come across them soon. So how about we have some fun and enjoy having some alone time.” She swirls the straw around in her mouth seductively before wrapping her lips around it and hallowing her cheeks.
Alone time?
I don’t want fucking alone time with Annalise. I didn’t want anything to do with her, but this was my only way of finding out more information. I had to get closer to her, even if it meant enduring extremely uncomfortable situations because it was evident she wanted me. She could tell me over and over how she just wants to be my friend, but her subtle hints tell me otherwise.
And the not-so-subtle hint when she kissed me.
“One dance.” She begs. “One dance, and then we can go find them, I swear.”
Dropping the straw from her mouth, she pouts in my direction while giving me sad puppy dog eyes. I’m sure it worked on hundreds of people before me, but all I felt was uncomfortable and edgy.
Would she use dancing as an excuse to get her hands on me? Would she try to do more than just dance?
Questions I shouldn’t even have to be thinking swirled around my head. All I wanted was Arsen and to go home. But to do so, I had to say yes.
“Fine.” I huff. “One dance, and that’s it.”
Her head lifts from her drink, and a wicked smile replaces her pout. “Then what are we waiting for?” She circles the table and snatches my hand in a tight grip before dragging me towards the dance floor. Every spot was going to be a tight fit, but once we settle next to a couple making out and two guys grinding on each other, Annalise takes the spot behind me. Her hands immediately land on my waist, and her front clashes into my back.
Leaning in close, she brushes some of my hair off one shoulder and pushes it to the other side. “Relax.” She whispers in my ear. “Just feel the music.” She starts swaying her hips in rhythm with mine while using her hands as a guide.
I despised our closeness. I hated how my body reacted to her touch. She could be anyone right now, and I’d be lighting up, but Arsen would be the only one to create fireworks within me. Annalise could never even compete, but with the way she moved against me and squeezed my hips, she wanted to.
I close my eyes and imagine she’s someone else. Someone who owns my soul and willingly risks destroying it. I dream of his strong hands holding me against him, his mouth tasting the skin of my neck, and his huge cock digging into my ass. I grind and rock into the warm body behind me to the beat of the music, losing myself in the fantasy that’s keeping me sane. The hands on me move, gliding my sides until they shift over to my chest, right below my breasts. My lungs seize at the gentleness and the closeness to my aching nipples, but the hands never stray from the spot. Instead, they migrate down low past my belly button and gradually come to a stop right above my pubic bone.
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?” Annalise moans into the shell of my ear, causing my fantasy to dwindle. My eyes shoot open and connect with the couple in front of me. The man is holding his wife from behind, and they both seem to be staring at us with clouded lust. “They must like what they see.” She giggles. “I don’t blame them, though. I’d be staring too.”
What the fuck am I doing?"
Humiliation and disgust blast through me, and I quickly tear myself out of Annalise’s arms. My eyes burn with tears. I dart off through the crowds of people, away from her and the observing eyes. I wanted to leave now. I wanted to say screw everyone and walk back to the school so I didn’t have to deal with more people.
I was appalled with myself, with how I so easily let Annalise manipulate me into these situations. I let her touch me, kiss me and bring me here, and I couldn’t help but feel more shame fill me.
Once I made it safely off the dance floor, I found myself walking towards an area that was loaded with people standing around, all with drinks in their hands. I swiftly saunter past them until a flash of red catches my eyes.
Verity.
I shuffle closer until my feet slam to a stop, and my heart falls onto the dirty club’s floor. She wasn’t alone. She wasn’t with Priscilla.
She was with Arsen.
And their mouths were locked onto one another in a destructive kiss.
I couldn’t bear to watch them together. I couldn’t stomach the fact that his mouth that once worshiped mine was now on hers. I spin around so quickly that I almost lose balance and topple over onto the person next to me.
“Are you okay?” The stranger steadies me, but all I can hear is the broken batter of my heart. Tears begin to blur my vision as I try to stumble away from the man who ruined me. He got what he wanted, and he officially got me out of his system. His words and promises of me owning his soul were nothing more than just whispered lies to give me what I wanted to hear. He never truly wanted me the way I wanted him. And I was foolish enough to give him all of me.
My chest stings as I try to catch my breath, but the air around me feels heavy and impossible to take in. All around me sounds and music fade into nothing as all I can hear are my desperate pants and cries for help.
“Charlotte?” Annalise comes into view, lowering her head to catch my eyes. “What's wrong? Why are you crying?” She frowns, noticing the stream of tears and most likely mascara falling from my cheeks.
