The Secrets of a Sin, page 11
Even after all our moving and fighting, his fingers somehow manage to stay snug inside me. With eyes that reigned in fury and undeniable lust, he drops his head down until our noses touch, and his breath intertwines with mine. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I please, and if that means I have to bury myself inside your whore of a principal, then so be it. But make no mistake, angel, you’re mine until I decide otherwise. The minute you offered your cunt to me, you signed your fucking life away to the devil. And baby, I’m just getting started with you.”
My eyes bulge. My heart gallops. And my rage grew into hatred. Red hot hatred that coiled with my sickening attraction towards a man I couldn’t stand. I was never someone he could ever actually grow feelings for. I was merely someone forbidden and alluring that he could sink his claws into and use until he wanted to discard me. But, sadly, for Arsen, two could play at his game. “Now who’s lying?” I focus all my negative energy on his face, hoping to somehow give him some of my grief. Lifting my chin, he grins proudly at my defiance. “You don’t want anything to do with Principal Welch, or to be inside her for that matter. The only pussy you’re desperate to get into is mine, and unfortunately for you, you're doing a poor job at convincing me you deserve it. So, perhaps I will have to search elsewhere.” Even if everything I said about searching for someone else was a complete lie, the way Arsen’s eyes darkened to a deadly shade had my insides contorting.
Forcibly dragging his digits out of me, he palms my whole pussy in his hand and presses his nose roughly against mine as his eyes scour me harshly. “Is that what you want to do? Find another man to half-ass please you with his dick while the whole time you imagine it is me fucking you?” He breathes grimly across my face while his eyes zero in on my opened mouth. “This pussy ain’t anything special. It may be tight and squeezing me like a damn vise, but it’s nothing I haven’t felt before.”
I want to lean forward and bite his damn lip off. Make him bleed for every rude word he’s spoken to me, but instead, I ground myself onto his hand that is cupping me and take what I want. “Guess I’ll have to find someone who finds my pussy special then.” I rock slowly against the roughness of his hand, scraping my clit against his knuckles. Surprisingly, he doesn't back away from me as I expected him to. He remains stoic and immobile, but his breathing flounders as if he is struggling to stay sane. Confirming that our eyes are connected, and I have his full attention, I open my mouth. “And I can promise you it won’t be difficult.”
Swirl after swirl, I spin myself further into an orgasm that's crashing the surface of being volatile. I didn’t care if he was pissed. I didn’t care that I hated him. All I wanted to do was come.
“Now who’s lying? You think once they find out you’re one of the freaks from St. Catherine's, they'll still want you?” He shifts his hand against me in a circular motion, giving more friction to my sore slit. “Nobody wants damaged goods, angel. And you have the word flawed written right across that fucking beautiful forehead of yours.”
Beautiful?
Out of that whole horrible statement he just said to me, I only took in him calling me beautiful.
“Lucky for you, I’ll make an exception.” He growls as our grinding turns savage, and my eyes are rolling back into my head. Every movement is painful, but there is no stopping what is about to happen. I was teetering on the verge of relief. “I’m the only man who will accept you for the monster you are. Now come on my fucking hand so I can soak in all your sins.”
With the final twist of my hips, I come hard.
I come violently.
I come unashamedly.
Screw you, Arsen Hale.
Screw you.
9
CHARLOTTE
Past
It’s been two whole days since I’ve had sex.
I thought that maybe after finally doing it, my urges would soften, but boy, oh boy, was I wrong. The severe ache between my legs worsened, and the only thought that surged through my head was how I desperately needed to be filled. My stomach clenched and churned every second that my hole was empty, and the only thing that seemed to dull the pain was my fingers. Every rough stab of my digit soothed a portion of the sting that gushed through me, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more.
So much fucking more that I couldn’t think straight. Food tasted bland, my friends' text messages were ignored, and my usually neat and tidy room was a chaotic mess. And it was all because I decided to indulge in my cravings. Now everything in my life seemed to have spiraled out of control over the course of just one weekend. I knew it had been the start of something destructive and had wreaked havoc on my life, but I couldn’t stop the urges even if I tried. I no longer felt like I was McKinney. I was just a fraud of a girl who happened to resemble the renowned Mayor and his Elegant wife. And, of course, they were oblivious to everything and never even wondered why I spent the whole weekend locked up in my room while they carried on with their seemingly perfect life without me. To uphold the McKinney name, you had to be flawless in all aspects. From the clothes you wore to whoever you dated, I had to remain clean and exemplary. And I was, up until Friday night.
Wrapping my still raw and sore fingers around the metal of my locker, I hear soft giggles from behind me, causing my head to slightly turn towards the sound.
“Fucking slut.” The words strike me hard and fast like a slap to the face, and I quickly meet their eyes.
Were they talking about me?
The minute my eyes clashed with a short brunette, a sophomore, she shook her head in a repulsed manner and stalked off with another girl beside her.
What the hell was that all about?
My chest expanded with every rapid strike of my heart. Surely, they couldn’t have been talking about me? As I slowly closed my locker and made the long trek to class, their crude words remained floating around in my skull. I was popular, well-liked, and was friends with most students at LakeWood Prep, so why did I have some lower-class girls calling me a slut? It made my stomach sink, creating a knot-like feeling in my lower abdomen and a tightness in my throat.
“Looking hot, Char.” Chris, an extremely muscular senior, announced from beside me with fiery eyes that exuded hunger. My feet slowed, and my brows dropped a tad as I studied his buddies' blatant cackles beside him.
“Uh, thanks.” I push a strand of my dark hair behind my ear, watching as the blonde next to Chris nudges him in the arm.
“We're here if you need us. For anything.” Chris grins, displaying his boyish dimples as his gaze drops down the length of me. “And I do mean everything, Char.” I swear I catch the pink of his tongue sliding against the bottom of his teeth, but it quickly becomes forgotten as his strange words sink in.
Okay?
I nod awkwardly, not really knowing how to respond to him and feeling slightly flushed from their intense stares. As I’m about to walk away, Chris responds again, and this time his tone drops a whole octave.
“The both of us will take good care of you.”
My body freezes almost immediately, causing my blood to go ice-cold and my heart to halt its steady beating. Cruel laughter rings out all around me, but my head and eyes don’t seem to process much of what’s going on. Everything is at a standstill while my whole life flashes before my eyes.
What the fuck do they know?
My head quickly whirls in their direction, and my eyes instantly land on the cell phone that Chris is holding, and the sound of my moaning blares through the tiny speaker.
“You have the prettiest tits I think I’ve ever seen, McKinney.” The blond moans, his eyes glued to the screen like a toddler watching cartoons. All three can’t seem to tear their eyes off the screen, and I feel my heart crumble piece by piece onto the school’s floor. My throat feels clogged with harsh words and violent screams, but the only thing that appears is tears.
They recorded us.
They recorded me.
From all around me, I can hear the sounds of my Friday night being played on the phones of every student at LakeWood Prep. From my blissful groans to the sound of skin slapping, my body feels violated. My heart feels demoralized. But worst of all, my reputation is fucking ruined.
“Charlotte Mckinney. Please report to Principal Howard’s office at once.” The voice on the intercom announces. “Again, Charlotte Mckinney. Please report to Principal Howard’s office at once.”
In that moment, all eyes swarm over to me, and I feel a sliver of my soul slowly die from their subjective gazes. They were staring at me like I was no longer the girl who had it all. Their envious glares were now filled with a mixture of amusement and revolt as they all watched me come unhinged on their phones. My feet speedily carried me down the halls, passing the thunderous howling of classmates I once called friends. But now, I knew I could never show my face at this school again. How was I ever going to recover from this?
Easy. I wasn’t.
Our name would be tainted forever, and I was the cause of it. On Friday night, Charlotte Mckinney was reborn, but today, she died.
“This is very serious shit, Charlotte.” Principal Howard said with a slight scowl across his mouth. “Not only has this film been published online for the whole world to see but, whoever filmed this, could be facing criminal charges.” His tone went from mild to hot in a matter of seconds. Sitting across from him, all I felt was numb. My head was elsewhere, like wondering where I could find Kai and Carter, and personally mutilate their pricks so they could no longer exploit girls. I was unfeeling. My body felt dead as I sat stoically in the chair, but my blood scorched with a vengeance. I should’ve known that it was all too good to be true anyway. It was beyond idiotic of me to believe that Friday night would be our dirty little secret and would be swept under the rug and forgotten. Nothing that mind-blowing and carnal was ever meant to be buried. And they made sure they had a way to remember our night forever.
“Who are the men in the video, Charlotte?” He asked, noticing my attention slowly drifting away from him. What is he going to possibly think when I say I have no clue, that I only have their first names? Will he think I’m slut like the rest of the student body? I shouldn’t give a shit what he or anyone thinks anyway, but the idea of being ‘that girl’ doesn’t sit right with me.
“Two friends from a party.” I lie, peering down at my trembling feet that bounce swiftly against the ugly brown carpet. Lying was nothing to me, especially since my entire existence seemed to be built around secrets. No one truly knew the real Charlotte. Only the fake facade I was required to be around the public. On the outside, I was prim and proper. My chocolate locks were always curled to perfection, and my clothes were modest and presentable. But, on the inside, I felt wild. Untamed and feral. I demanded to be unleashed and proclaim who I truly was. I wanted to paint my skin red with the hands of men who’d breathe life back into me. Day and night, I wanted them at my disposal, using me just like I’d be using them.
“Did you know you were being recorded?” He interrupts my thoughts with flushed cheeks and a hand that brushes across his sweaty forehead like he was uncomfortable asking. I wanted to lie again. I wanted to say yes, that I knew the whole time I was getting fucked that there was a camera in the room, and yes, I enjoyed it. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that
My eyes shift towards the door as the sounds of heavy stomping and arguing approach Principal Howard’s office. The loud shrill of my mother’s voice followed by my father’s grunting make me grip the armrests with force. A violent storm is coming, and it is coming for me. The door flies open with a hard smack on the wall, and my mother’s frantic eyes seek mine out. The second her wolfish eyes collide with mine, I see the outrage and unadulterated resentment in her broad stare. Revulsion and disbelief are emitting from every pore and surface on both their faultless bodies. They are watching me from the door like I am someone other than their daughter.
A stranger. And perhaps I am. So, with the small amount of dignity that I have left, I lift my chin high, letting them know their pride means nothing to me.
“You foolish girl!” My mother shouts as she rushes towards me with intent. I brace for impact, squeezing my eyes shut and tensing up my frame. I hear her hand fly through the air before I feel the crack of her palm wallop the side of my face. Pain radiates across my cheek as my father swoops in, and swiftly pulls her away from me along with Principal Howard. Rubbing the soon-to-be welt with the tips of my fingers, I stare at my mother with staggered eyes. Her usually cool composure is now heaving in the arms of my dad. Her habitual elegant bob is a mess of frizzy curls while her clothes are wrinkled and disorderly. She looks rabid. Terrifying even, and the origin of the problem is me.
“What. Did. You. Do?” She enunciates each word with venom, and a shaky finger pointed in my direction. My eyes drift to my father, who appears disappointed more than anything as he holds my mother back with a stern grip. He looks terrible too, but it was his dreary eyes that wedged a knife straight through my cold heart. “Well?!” She howled again, clearly impatient and annoyed by my refusal to answer.
“Mrs. McKinney, this conversation will only happen when you're both calm and equipped to listen to what Charlotte has to say. I can’t have you smacking your daughter in my school and causing a scene. So please restrain yourself.” Principal Howards speaks with caution because anyone with two eyes can tell my mother is in a fragile state right now.
“What could she possibly say to make what we saw acceptable?” She focuses on Principal Howard with an eerily calm voice but eyes that could still burn right through you.
“I think what Principal Howard is saying is, we don’t know the whole story, Elaine.” My dad tries to stick up for me despite the shame and disappointment I’ve caused both of them. Growing up, if I ever got in trouble or misbehaved, he was always the one to defend me. If I ever received an F on a paper, his excuse was ‘F is for Fantastic’ or, if my mom and I were arguing, he’d always somehow manage to calm the both of us down to the point we forgot what our fight was about. But that was him, the glue of the family. And as I watched him with remorseful eyes, I could tell the glue was slowly fading. That this stupid video may have been too much to forgive, even for him.
“You do realize that you ruined your father’s whole career and reputation? All his hard work and dedication… Right down the fucking toilet because of you.” She spat, ignoring my father’s silent pleas for her to relax. “We never asked much of you, Charlotte. Stay clean and presentable but you couldn’t even keep your damn legs closed!”
The slap to my face seemed to sting less than her words. But I couldn’t blame her for being upset over the fact our entire ‘wholesome’ image as a family was ruined.
“Elaine! Enough!”
“Was it worth it, huh?” She demands with a crude smile. Her deranged eyes scoured my face for any sign of repentance but my emotions were masked with a blank stare. I was used to her cruel words by now, but I had a feeling it was about to get much worse. “Displaying your pussy to them like it’s a fucking dessert platter and letting them perform those perverse acts on you.”
“That’s enough, Elaine.” My dad grunted beside her while his grip on her tightened.
“No, it’s not enough!” She shouts, directing her attention towards him now. “I’m her mother, and she’s going to listen to every damn word I have to say, no matter how crude I get.”
Beside me, I could sense Principal Howard’s aggravation and sympathy for me as he met my vacant stare. He was probably wondering why I wasn’t defending myself or telling her off for talking about my ‘cunt’ in the same room as my dad and high school principal.
“I guess she’s suddenly mute now.” She throws her free hand up in frustration. “Which is certainly far from the truth after hearing your…”
“My screams?” I interrupt with a sharp bite that has both my parent’s eyes bulging. “Or do you mean my moaning? Because there was an awful lot of both going on.” While my dad looked more horrified than anything, my mother chuckled into the air with her head tilted towards the ceiling.
“Both of you, knock it off!” My dad bellowed, causing us both to flinch. He was always the level-headed one, so to see him erupt like this was abnormal. My shoulders slumped back, feeling defeated. Everyone in the room looks defeated. My mother dropped her ass onto the floor in a heap of tears, drowning her sorrows into the crook of her arm while my dad continued to observe me in confusion.
“Let's take a break for now.” Principal Howard cut in with a soft voice, but I could feel my lies slowly eating away at me. Their eyes were laced with a mixture of pain and betrayal. The worst kind of combination that had my heart slowly sinking in my chest. Secrets upon secrets were gnawing their way at my flesh, clogging my throat with the words I desperately wanted to convey to them.
Would they understand?
Would they even believe me after I told them?
“I...” The words burn on impact, but I continue. “I didn't know they were recording us.” I swallow, feeling all eyes connect with my trembling frame. Even my mom. “It all happened so quickly. It was like…I couldn't stop myself from what was going to happen.” At first there was silence, like they were letting my speech sink in.
“What do you mean you couldn't stop yourself? Did they force you?” My dad's furious voice questioned while I shook my head vehemently.
“No.” I feel fresh tears sting my eyes, clouding my vision. “There's something wrong with me.” Lowering both his brows, he pivots a foot like he wants to reach out to me and hold me, but instead rubs at his forehead.
“Before that night, I was constantly lying to myself that I didn't have a problem. That there was no possible way I could have something wrong with me. I'm the daughter of a renowned mayor and a retired model, there's no fucking way I can't be perfect like you both." My eyes blur, but I still meet both of their stares. “I can't stop thinking about sex.” I finally whisper the truth that has them both sucking in a gasp of air. “It's like I’m on an endless loop that won’t stop. Everything in my life is becoming. I can't concentrate, and I feel physically fucking ill when I don't feel that high. My head is filled with horrible nasty things that I
