The Shadow and The Draw, page 9
He clenches his lips together as they quiver. “I’m sorry.” He swallows hard. “I would take you away from it all, if I could. If we could run away, I’d take you right now, and I’d kill anyone who tried to stop me.” His eyes are full of anguish. “But -“
“We’re both trapped.” I say simply.
He steps closer, and puts a hand on my shoulder. “He hurt you, didn’t he?”
I nod. “I’m sore. He was rough.” I reach up and touch his cheek. “He’s nothing like you.”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “The guy who let you get raped, yeah what a star.”
I grab his face in my hands. “Stop it!”
“I should have stopped him!” A tear runs down his cheek as he cries out, and then his arms crush me to him, against his cold, wet body. I nuzzle into him, sobbing. He holds me tight, and I wonder if maybe we should both just drown ourselves, and escape our misery that way. Or maybe someone will see us now, like this, and then they’ll just kill us both, and it’ll all be over.
“I don’t want to go back to that house.” I whisper, my fingers clinging to his chest.
“I know, baby.” He raises my face to his, and I can see him hesitate, see that he wants to kiss me. His eyes clench shut, and he presses his forehead to mine. “I know.”
“Can I come to your house later?” I ask. “Finn’s got to meet with the Astala clan elders. I can sneak out of the house.”
Amryn’s eyes open and he flinches, straightening up. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’re Queen now, the guards will be watching you.”
“I’ll make sure no one follows me, they won’t even notice I’m gone.” I start crying again, and I wonder if I’m ever going to fucking stop. “Please, don’t push me away. I just - I don’t want to - to do anything. I just want to be close to you. Just for a little while.”
He sighs heavily, and presses a kiss against my forehead. His lips are so warm. “OK. Come by later. Just be careful.”
I’m sitting alone at the kitchen table, staring mindlessly at the wood grain. Finn was very concerned about me, fussing over me when I got back from the lake. He had the good grace not to ask why my clothes were wet. He almost cancelled the meeting with the Astala’s but I pushed him out of the door, insisting he couldn’t miss it. Because I want to see Amryn.
There’s a knock at the door, and I look up to see Ceili on the porch, smiling widely at me. “Hi cuz!” She lets herself in. “How’s married life?”
I smile weakly. “Only been 24 hours,” I reply as she sits down opposite me. “Probably a bit early to say.”
“Where’s Finn?” She asks, tossing her pale hair over her shoulder.
I rub my temple, feeling a headache coming on. “He’s with the Astalas, having a big Alpha meeting so they can beat their chests together.”
Ceili laughs, then eyes me carefully when I don’t join in. “You OK?”
I wave my hand dismissively, and lean back in my chair. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Oh, so not OK?” She nods. “Ok sorry, never mind. Let’s talk about something else.” She claps her hands together and smiles brightly. “So the wedding was amazing, what a party, huh?”
I smile weakly. “Yeah, I guess it was. Did you have a good time?” I ask, jamming my hands into the pockets of me sweater. “Last time I saw you, you were on your fourth tequila shot and going strong.”
She bites her lip and examines her fingernails. “Oh I had a great night.”
I laugh. “Breaking hearts again, huh? Who was it this time?”
Ceili shrugs, feigning innocence. “Just someone I’ve had my eye on for a while, and I finally had the opportunity to pursue.” She leans back in her chair. “A big, strong, handsome someone with the most beautiful cock I think I’ve ever seen.”
I raise my eyebrows. “So no one I know huh?” I say with a short laugh.
“Oh you know him alright.” Ceili looks around conspiratorially, leaning over the table. “Did you know,” she drops her voice low, even though we’re alone, “that between the hours of the wedding and the ascension the rules of the blood covenant are lifted?”
I frown. “What are you talking about?”
“Yep.” She nods emphatically. “No rules, sweetie.”
“So what does that have to do with anything?” I’m confused.
“The Draw?” She bites her lip. “Mhmm. Him being off limits? Uh-uh. Not off limits anymore.”
I can’t breathe as what she’s saying dawns on me. “You fucked Amryn?”
Ceili laughs. “I think it’d probably be more accurate to say he fucked me.”
My stomach seizes up. “You’re not joking.”
“Why would I be joking?” She leans back in her chair, rolling her eyes to the ceiling as she sighs. “He was amazing. And also, he is huge.”
“Where did you do it?” I ask, willing my voice not to dissolve into a squeak.
“In the woods, the first time.” She grins, twirling her hair around her finger.
“The first time?” I ask weakly.
Ceili nods. “Yeah, and then we went back to his house. And then it was the shower and the bed room and then the floor because we fell off the bed.” She laughs out loud. “Oh my god, and his stamina. He just kept going and going, it was crazy. I don’t even know how many times I came. I could barely walk when I got up this morning.” She sighs, throwing her hands behind her head and gazing at the ceiling. “I can’t believe I only got the one night with him. I am going to be suffering withdrawals from him for a long time.”
I lurch to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, gulping it down. My hands are shaking.
“Are you OK?” Ceili asks me. “Are you hungover?”
I shake my head, leaning on the counter. “No, I think - I’m just a bit lightheaded, my bleeding started.”
Ceili frowns. “Oh you poor thing, what a way to start married life, huh?”
“Yeah, it sucks.” I fill my glass again, sure I’m going to be sick from too much water and the nausea that won’t stop washing over me.
“You’re not angry that I slept with Amryn, are you?” Ceili asks, rising from the table to lean on the counter beside me.
I shake my head. “Why would I be angry? He’s not my - my - anything.”
“No I know,” Ceili says quickly. “I just know you two were close growing up, I didn’t want it to be weird or whatever.”
“It’s not weird, Ceili, really.” I reach over and take her hand, forcing myself to look at her face, forcing myself to smile. “It’s fine. I’m glad you had such a good time with him. He - he deserved one good night like that.”
Ceili pouts. “Why does it have to be only one night? Can you and Finn get married again?” She laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah, why not?” I try to laugh too, try to show this isn’t bothering me, but instead the floor tips away from me, and I put a hand to my head as everything around me sways.
“Cora, holy shit.” Ceili grasps my hand. “Sweetie, you look awful. Maybe you should go to bed.”
I nod. “Yeah, I think I might do that.”
She nods, her brow crinkling with concern. “OK, you go on and lie down, I’ll leave you to rest. I just wanted to check that you were OK. You know, after -“ She shakes her head. “We’ll talk about that another time.”
“Yeah, sure.” I smile weakly. I never want to talk about that, ever again.
“Bye sweetie!” She heads out the door, and I hear her footsteps down the porch stairs, crossing the gravel drive.
Once I’m sure she’s gone, I stalk out the door, across the yard, keeping behind the tree line so the guards don’t see me. My head’s spinning. I feel sick. I’m going to fucking throw up. I circle around behind Amryn’s cabin, pushing through the wooden gate, checking before I close it that no one has followed me.
I knock on the door quietly, and wait. Nothing. I knock again, a little louder, and I hear movement. The door opens, and Amryn’s standing there, a small smile on his lips.
“You fucked my cousin?” I can feel tears in my eyes.
His face drops. “Shit.” He pulls me inside, closing the door behind me.
“You fucked Ceili?” I ask him. “On my wedding night?”
“Cora, I was drunk, and -“
“You fucked my cousin in the woods, and then you brought her here?” I dash my tears away with my wrist. “How could you?“
“How could I?” He asks incredulously. “How could I what?”
“Sleep with somebody!” I cry. “How could you sleep with somebody that wasn’t me?”
“What do you want from me, Cora?” He asks, holding his hands out in front of him. “I had one night, one fucking night to be like everyone else, one night to just not have to think and watch and wait to have the shit kicked out of me for looking at a pretty girl, and you’re mad?”
“Why didn’t you come find me?” I ask, stupidly.
He looks at me wide-eyed. “Are you fucking high?” He catches himself, takes a deep breath, running a hand over his face. “It was your wedding, Cora. You’d just married Finn. And we’ve said a million times it’s the last time, the last fucking time, and we keep on running back to each other and making it worse.”
“Was she good?” I ask.
“Oh, come on.” He turns away from me.
“Because she couldn’t stop telling me about how good you were!”
“Well great!” He throws his arms out. “What am I meant to say to that, huh?”
“She said she couldn’t walk this morning, because -“ My voice catches in my throat, and I dash away the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. “Because you did it, so many times.”
“Cora, it was just sex.” He shakes his head and shrugs. “It was sex, that’s all.”
“But it was good sex, right?” My stomach won’t stop churning. “You had a good time, and you came, and -“
“You want to know if sex with her was better than sex with you, right? That’s what you’re asking me, isn’t it?”
“Well, was it?” I ask, not wanting to hear the answer, because I might not like it.
“Of course it wasn’t!” His hands claw on either side of his face. “God fucking dammit, Cora. I just wanted - I wanted it to be you, OK?” He looks at me helplessly. “I wanted it to be you, and it wasn’t. So I fucked her, I fucked the next person who threw themselves at me, and it was Ceili, and I’m sorry OK?”
“But you enjoyed it?”
He growls at the ceiling. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because -“ I swallow hard. “Because you’re mine.”
His eyes flash as he looks at me, a combination of pain and disbelief. “And who’s mine, Cora? Who belongs to me?” He shakes his head. “It’s ironic that I’m the Runt, but everyone seems to think they fucking own me.”
I step towards him. “That’s not what I meant.”
He holds his hand out, stopping me. “I’m just the fucking Runt, the disgraced son of the striker that couldn’t protect your father.”
“Amryn, no -“
“No, that’s how it is.” He hangs his head, his hair falling over his face. “That’s all they see. My father, failing. The clan falling apart, losing their home, losing everything, because of my father. My mother couldn’t even stay around for me.” He puts his hands to his face. “No, she had to go and kill herself and leave me alone, and I’m just alone, fucking alone.”
I rush to him, putting my arms around him. “No, you’re not alone, I’m here, with you.”
“No you’re not.” He pushes me away. “You’re someone else’s wife. You’re sneaking away and hiding and if we get caught I die.”
I clutch a hand to my mouth. “I’m sorry, Amryn.”
“I just wanted to feel normal.” He sighs, throwing himself down into a chair by the window. “I just wanted to have one night of being like everyone else before I sit by and watch you all live your lives and have babies and -“ He breaks off, running a hand through his hand.
“Amryn -“
His head shoots up suddenly, and he looks out the window. “Cora, get down.”
“What?”
He launches himself at me. “DOWN!” He throws himself on me as a hail of bullets shatters the windows. He holds himself over me, shielding me as the gunfire continues.
I cower underneath him, my hands flat on the ground, and I hear an explosion in the distance, feel it reverberate through the floor. The gunfire stops, and we hear voices outside.
Amryn gets up in a low crouch, going towards the window. He turns and gestures to me to hide under the bed. I shuffle underneath it, my heart beating out of my chest. He makes his way to the window, and slowly, carefully looks outside. He drops back down again instantly, and his hands begin to glow.
“Stay here.” He whispers. “Whatever happens, stay right there and don’t come out.”
“Amryn, what’s happening?”
“Just stay there.”
We hear another explosion, and he jumps out of the broken window. There’s a yell, and running footsteps. Amryn calls out to someone, and a fireball explodes right outside the cabin. My heart is in my throat as I wait for Amryn’s voice to sound again, so I know he’s OK.
I hear him call out, is it to Vale? I clench my eyes shut. What the hell is happening?
Someone screams in the distance, a woman. It could my Mom. It could be Ceili. There’s another explosion and more gunfire. I have to help. I can’t hide down here under the bed while they’re being attacked out there. I have powers, and Amryn’s been training me for years. I can fight.
I crawl out from under the bed, and over to the window Amryn jumped out of. More gunfire. I duck back down, and wait for it to stop. Silence. Three seconds. Four. I get up and spring out into the yard and sprint for a tree, taking cover behind it. The sun is setting, and the cloud cover is making the compound prematurely dark. The power has been cut, and the only light is coming from the houses burning at the far end of the compound.
Something swoops above me, above the foliage of the tree, and my stomach drops.
Angels. We’re being attacked by Angels.
I step out and summon my flames, looking up at the sky to see the winged figure circling Amryn’s cabin. I send a fireball straight up at them, and they cry out in surprise as it catches one of their wings. They plummet to the ground, not far from me, and I send another bolt at them as they raise themselves up on their arms. There’s an explosion of light, and when the flash clears, they’re flat on the ground, unmoving.
“There!” I hear the cry, and see figures on foot rushing towards me.
They’re not angels. These are demons. I can see their arms glowing in the growing night. One of them fires at me, bright orange flames, and I shield myself with my own flames, rushing straight at them. Once I’m close enough, I detonate a fireball. My flames overwhelm theirs easily, sending them running, screaming as they burn.
“Cora!” Someone calls out to me. It’s Vale. I can’t see him for smoke and flames. “Cora, where are you?”
I don’t respond. I don’t want to draw attention to myself. There’s more gunfire, and I run in the direction of my mother’s house. Please let her be OK. I feel like I’m moving through fucking molasses, and my eyes keep scanning the sky above me, which is hidden behind a thick layer of smoke.
Something swoops down behind me, landing heavily on the ground. I spin to face an angel, towering over me. He’s at least 7 feet tall. He leers at me, his eyes pitch black in a blank white face.
“You must be the Alpha Queen,” he says, pulling his lips back to reveal a mouth of sharp teeth that glint in the firelight.
I summon a flame in my hand. “Yeah I am, and I’m going to fucking burn you alive.” I send my flame at him, and a red shield flies up in front of him, shimmering, iridescent in the darkness. The flame is swallowed up by it. What the fuck is this? I stumble backwards as the angel begins to laugh.
“What the fuck are you?” I ask.
“Oh majesty,” he says, clasping his hands before him, “your powers are truly impressive. And yet -“
Suddenly there’s arms around me, and Amryn pushes me behind him. He holds out a hand at the angel, flames leaping high. “What do you want?” Amryn asks.
“Your Queen of course.” The angel says, his voice heavy with amusement. “The Alpha is of no use to me, but this one, the Shadow Queen, what a prize.”
The - the what?
“What did you call me?” I ask.
The angel steps closer, tutting. “Oh dear, she doesn’t know, does she?”
Amryn hesitates. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The angel laughs. “Of course, Lordain has done an excellent job keeping you all in the dark. Shame your father couldn’t protect Rodelth. All this could have been avoided.”
I bristle at the mention of my father’s name. “You’re going to die tonight.” I say, stepping out from behind Amryn and throwing everything I have at this fucker, a fireball of white exploding in front of us.
The red shield flies back up, and Amryn throws an arm in front of me. “What the fuck was that?” He asks, watching it blink and then die away.
“Times have changed, demon,” the angel replies. “Now, it’s sadly time for you to die, and the Queen shall come with us.”
“Cora, run!” Amryn cries, pushing me away from him.
I stumble backwards, and see the angel raise his hands, a shimmering silver dart appearing between them. With one swift movement, he fires it at Amryn. Amryn throws up his flames to shield himself, but the dart passes straight through them with a loud hiss, parting them like waves.
Amryn’s eyes widen as the dart lands right in the centre of his chest, and he’s thrown backwards from the force of its impact.
“Amryn!” I throw myself down beside him, my hands grasping uselessly at the dart, which is embedded in his skin. “Oh shit, no, no, no. Amryn! Amryn?” A dark stain begins to spread around the dart, like ink spilling over his skin. He starts to convulse, his eyes staring at the sky. “Amryn!” I hold his face in my hands. No no no. This can’t be happening.
