The Shadow and The Draw, page 7
I know he’s wrong, I know Lordain knows. But I don’t want to think about it right now. “How was it, up in the mountains?” I ask instead.
Amryn scoffs. “Boring. Stupid.” He pauses. “Lonely.” His hand is still on my cheek. “I - I missed you.” He knows he shouldn’t say it. He knows what will happen. But he says it anyway.
And I can’t stop myself.
I throw myself into his arms, my lips on his, and he reacts immediately, his hands in my hair, his mouth opening for mine, and he tastes sweet.
“I missed you so much.” I’m crying, clutching on to him. “Oh god, I missed you.”
“It was fucking torture.” He says, his forehead against mine.
“I thought I could get over it.” I shake my head. “I thought I could let you go, I thought it would help.”
“Me too.” He clutches me to him. “I spent all this time trying not to think about you and then I’d fucking dream about you, every single night.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do, Cora.”
Neither do I. There’s nothing to do.
The alcohol is giving me courage I shouldn’t have, not here, not now, especially not after what just happened. But I want him.
I push him down onto one of the chairs, straddling him, kissing him deeply.
“Cora, stop, wait.” He says against my lips, but his hands are under the hemline of my dress as it rides up my thighs. “Someone might see us.” He’s breathing hard, and my hand moves down between us, rubbing him through his pants. “Oh fuck.” He sucks in a breath.
“I need you.” I tell him. Because I do. I fucking do, so bad. I pull my dress up, and I feel him undo his pants, and then his cock is rubbing against my thigh. His mouth is on my neck, his hands gripping the back of my head. I pull my panties aside, and he exhales heavily against my skin as I lower myself onto him.
The sheer ecstasy of having him inside me sends electricity coursing down my back. He feels so good, too good, too good to never feel this way again. He throws his head back as I ride him, and he moans, and it’s because of me, because of how good this feels. He’s mine. He’s only mine.
This is so stupid. This is so dangerous. I’m addicted to him. I wrap my arms around his neck, working myself up and down his cock, my nerves firing, the alcohol making everything even warmer and hazier. He says my name, his hands on my hips, moving me faster.
“Cora!” Finn’s voice echoes across the yard.
“Shit.” Amryn pushes me off him. “Get inside, quick.” He adjusts his clothing, and I pull my dress back down around my thighs as I hurry into the house.
I run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, leaning against it, panting. Fuck, that was so stupid. That was so so stupid. We nearly got caught.
I hear their voices outside, hear Finn going on and on about his father, his stupid father, the jealous Alpha. He’s angry. Amryn’s trying to calm him down, trying to tell him everything’s going to be OK, but Finn won’t stop raging. And he nearly caught his Queen fucking the Draw.
Finn would kill him. Me loving Amryn will get him killed. Lordain suspects. No, he knows. Amryn can kid himself all he wants, it’s not about power. Lordain said it - we have to be kept apart. He knows. He fucking knows.
Tears spring to my eyes. This has to stop. It just has to. It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other, it doesn’t matter that I love him.
The Ascension is in five days, and then I’ll be Finn’s. There’ll be no going back.
Tonight was the last time.
5
Amryn
The day is here.
I sit on my bed in my black suit, staring at the floor. I should get out there. The afternoon light streams into my window, and it’s gold and warm, and everyone has been saying how great the day will be, what a perfect day for a wedding.
I didn’t sleep last night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Finn on Cora, and it made me sick. He’s going to take what’s mine today. He’s going to destroy what’s hers. And he has no idea. No one has any idea. Except maybe Lordain.
I shouldn’t be surprised that he knows, he has his ways of finding out everything that goes on in this compound. And Cora and I have been irresponsible way too many times, just like we were on the night of her party, when she fucked me on the porch of her new house. We’re idiots. We’re reckless. It’s almost like we want to get caught. They would kill me. And yet I can’t stay away. I can’t say no to her. I need her.
But I haven’t seen her since that night. Well, that’s not true - I have. We had to sit through the fucking rehearsal dinner two nights ago, and I pretended she wasn’t there. It hurt her, I’m sure, because it fucking hurt me.
I put my hand to my chest, and run my fingers over the medallion I’m wearing, the one she gave me for my 18th birthday. The first night we slept together. I know I shouldn’t surrender to the memory, but I do. I close my eyes and remember everything about that night; Cora putting her arms around me, whispering in my ear, telling me to come to her room once everyone was asleep.
I snuck in quietly, and she was waiting for me. I crawled into her bed, just like I had so many nights for years, but this time she was naked. She was warm and sweet, wanting me, just me, and I knew I wasn’t allowed to do it, I knew she wasn’t mine, but she gave herself to me anyway. And she claimed me for herself. There’s no one else for me. She said there was no one else for her.
Except now, there is, because now everything changes. Because she’ll be his. She’ll be the Queen. There’ll be no more sneaking around, no more stolen moments. I’ll never see her again, not alone, not like that. It was finally the last time.
And it’s killing me.
I get up off the bed, forcing myself outside, into the cruel fucking golden sunshine. There’s no point delaying it any further.
Everyone’s here, hundreds of people, all here to celebrate the wedding, and the Ascension. It only happens every 25 years or so, so everyone’s put in a lot of effort, dressed up and dripping in gold and silver. There’s white flowers everywhere, their scent carried by the heady summer breeze.
I’m the Draw, so I have to be Finn’s best man. Front seat to seeing him marry Cora. Fucking amazing.
I make my way to Finn’s house, pasting a smile on my face as I pass everyone. Happy, so happy. Everyone’s happy.
Morgan is on the porch of the log cabin, in a floor-length red gown, her red hair pinned up on her head. She’s smoking a cigarette, and smiles appreciatively as I walk up the porch steps. “Well hello there,” she says, running a finger down the lapel of my jacket. “You look great, Amryn.” She opens her silver cigarette case and offers me one.
Fuck it.
“Thanks,” I say as I take it, and she lights it for me. I inhale deeply, and it feels better than it should.
“What a beautiful day, huh?” Morgan says, casting her eyes out across the compound. “Such a special day. My only son getting married.” She takes another drag of her cigarette, and eyes me carefully. “The Summer Solstice is a pretty special day in so many ways, you know.”
I nod. “Yeah it is.” I don’t know what she’s talking about.
“Between the wedding and the peak of the moon, there aren’t really any rules.” She laughs, flicking the ash from her cigarette. “It’s almost like the Clan is sort of -“ She gazes at the sky, as though trying to find the right word. “Like the Clan is suspended in a sort of limbo. No roles, no rules. No status. Like the world is taking a deep breath.”
I suck on the cigarette. “OK.” I still don’t know what she’s talking about.
She grins. “You should have seen Roche after our wedding.” She raises her eyebrows and chuckles. “Fucking every girl he could get his hands on.” She covers her mouth abashedly for a moment and eyes me sheepishly. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t talk like that to a young man like you.”
I feel an icy sensation wash over my shoulders. “You mean -“
“Oh yes, sweetheart.” Morgan nods her head, laughing. “After the wedding, it’s a free for all.” She stamps the cigarette out in the ash tray, and gives me a shy smile. “I’m sure you’ll have a fantastic night. So many pretty girls here.”
I take a deep drag on the cigarette as she walks back into the house. Fuck. Nervous tension builds in my chest, and the butterflies storming in there make it almost impossible to breathe. I put the cigarette out, the taste of smoke lingering on my tongue. My eyes stray to the chair next to the table, and - fuck.
“Brother!” Finn comes out of the cabin, dressed in a black suit with silver embroidery down the sleeves. He grabs me in a bear hug. “Day’s finally here!”
I give him a wide smile. “I’m happy for you.” I say. I hope I sound sincere.
Lordain comes out of the cabin, with Morgan following. She gives me a conspiratorial wink. The butterflies keep storming.
“Well, let’s go.” Lordain says, leading the way with Morgan clutching his arm. “Luckily it’s not raining.”
I’d prefer that. Rain and mud and sodden and will anything not remind me of her? Shit.
The clans are assembled on the clearing, all standing and watching as the four of us make our way down the aisle. People reach out to clap Finn on the shoulder, to shake his hand. Everyone is happy.
There’s a bough covered in flowers standing at the front, and Lordain stands underneath it, ready to perform the ceremony. Finn and I stand beside him, waiting for the bride, waiting for Cora to emerge.
“Nervous?” Lordain asks his son with a smile.
Finn shakes his head. “Nah. I can’t wait.”
Lordain nods his approval. “You’re a lucky man.”
Music starts playing, some sweet country song I recognise from somewhere, and the crowd turns to see Cora. I dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand. I don’t want to see her. She’s going to be beautiful.
And there she is, on the arm of her mother. She’s in a long white flowing dress, her curls hanging loose down her back, white flowers in her hair. Her olive skin is glowing and her eyes are bright green in the warm summer light. She’s smiling as she walks. She looks happy. Her mother keeps putting a hand to her face, and I see she’s crying. Such a happy day. Everyone’s happy.
They reach the bough. And Cora’s mother kisses her daughter’s cheek, smiling at Finn through her tears as he reaches out to take Cora’s hand. They face each other, and I’m standing right behind Finn. Her eyes are fixed on him.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers.
“Thank you.” She replies.
“We are here to celebrate the wedding of Cora to my son Finn!” Lordain announces loudly. “These two people have come here willingly to join their hands as husband and wife, and as Alpha and Queen of this clan!”
Willingly. I dig my nails harder into my palm, sure I’m about to draw blood. Fated isn’t willingly. I know who’d be standing there looking down at her, smiling at her, telling her she’s beautiful, taking these vows, if she had a choice.
I’m making this worse for myself. I’m addicted to feeling like shit.
The ceremony goes on. They say their vows. Promise to love each other, forsaking all others. Cora’s eyes stay on Finn the entire time, and I try not stare at her face. It won’t make this any easier for her.
The vows come to an end, and Lordain steps forward, rolling up his sleeve, revealing the knot tattoo on his forearm. He puts a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “I relinquish my power to you, my son.” Lordain says.
Finn nods and puts a hand over the tattoo. The veins in his hand glow bright red, and I see Lordain’s fingers clench into Finn’s shoulder, his mouth set into a hard line. There’s a sickening smell of burning flesh. Finn pulls his hand away, and the tattoo is gone, a patch of burnt, red-raw skin in its place. Roche steps forward and his hands glow as he heals the burn, his powers as Lordain’s Draw granting him the ability to heal Lordain quickly.
“It is done!” Lordain exclaims, and everyone bursts into applause and cheers. His eyes settle on me, and the smug smile on the old bastard’s face sets my teeth on edge.
Finn turns to Cora, holding her face in his hands, and kisses her. She closes her eyes as he does, and she’s smiling.
She’s happy.
Let her be happy.
Just let it go.
“Great party, huh?” Vale sidles up to me, his face bright red from too much drinking, whiskey in hand.
I’m drunk as fuck. I’ve been downing tequila and beer and it’s a fucking bad combination. I’ve managed to avoid Cora and Finn, their smiles and their embraces and the kisses I keep hearing everyone calling out for. I’ve stayed right away and gotten stupid drunk instead, and everything is hazy and hilarious. I don’t feel connected to my body anymore. In the midst of it all, someone handed me a joint. Because there are no rules right now.
The full moon is rising above us. It’ll reach its peak in a few hours. I try not to think about what that means.
Vale looks at me and laughs. “You gotta sober up a bit before the ceremony, brother. Come on.” He pulls me to my feet. “Walk it off.”
Ceili appears at his side, wearing a red dress. She looks pretty. Her big blue eyes look up at me. “Oh jeez, you look like you need some air.” She turns to Vale, and waves him away. “It’s OK sweetie, you go on ahead, back to the party.”
“You sure?” Vale asks, his lip curling as he looks at me. “He’s pretty fucking wasted.”
“It’s fine, we’ll go for a walk and sober up.” She smiles at him sweetly. “Really, we’ll be OK. You go have fun.”
“Yeah, go have fun,” I tell Vale. Just fuck off. Leave me alone with her.
Vale shrugs and wipes a hand over his sweaty brow. “Just don’t drink any more, you two!” He leaves with a wave, heading back towards the bonfire and noise.
“Finally,” Ceili says, “I thought he’d never fucking leave.”
“Vale,” I slur, “is dense as fuck.” I put my arm around her, and we walk towards the forest. It’s dark over here.
Ceili giggles quietly as she nuzzles in to me. “I’ve never seen you like this, Amryn.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me drunk before, babe.” The words roll off my tongue, which feels thick, foreign in my mouth.
“Not this drunk.” She says.
“You’re drunk too,” I chide, “don’t even pretend you’re not.” I pull her in closer, and she feels nice under my arm.
“Well maybe a little.” She tips her face up to look at me. She has full pink lips. Her eyes are glowing.
“A little a little, or a little a lot?” I ask, grinning.
She reaches up and runs a hand through my hair. “A little enough, I guess.”
“Hey, so I found out something pretty fucking interesting today.” I tell her. I put my hands on her waist, and back her against a tree slowly. I’m towering over her, and her face is lit up with anticipation. “You want to know what Morgan told me, babe?”
“What did Morgan tell you?” Ceili asks, smiling as her back meets the tree trunk.
“That Roche fucked every girl he could after Lordain and her got married.”
Ceili bites her lip as she gazes up at me. “Is that so?”
“Yeah.” I lower my mouth to hers. She’s so pretty. She’s so fucking hot. She has an amazing body, full breasts that are almost spilling out of her dress. And fuck I’m so hard. “No rules until the peak of the full moon.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “And what would you like to do while there’s no rules?” She’s waiting for me to move.
She’s not Cora. She’s not Cora.
My mouth crushes hers, and then her tongue is in my mouth. She tastes like strawberries and vodka. Her arms wrap around me. No one tells us to stop. No one is getting her off me. No one is pulling me away to be lectured, or beaten. I push my body against hers, and she feels incredible.
She pulls away from me and drops to her knees, undoing my belt. My pants open under her fingers and she pulls out my cock. She grips the base, gazing up at me with those big blue eyes, and then she takes me in her mouth.
I brace myself against the tree with one hand, the other in her hair as her head bobs up and down, her tongue swirling over me. I try not to thrust, but her mouth is hot and wet and her tongue feels amazing. My head is already swimming and now everything she’s doing to me is making it even hazier, everything’s warm and wrong and hot and tight.
I suck in a breath through gritted teeth as she draws me down further into her throat. Her eyes stay on me, watching me as I moan and gasp, and I can see she’s loving it. She’s loving what she’s doing to me.
I want to fuck her. I just want to be inside her. I pull away from her, kneeling down in front of her. “Turn around.” I say to her. She grins at me and obeys, puts both hands on the ground, pressing her ass towards me. I push her dress up around her waist, and yank her panties down her thighs. Holy fuck, her ass is perfect.
I grip her hips and slide my cock into her, and she moans, arching her back. No one is stopping me. I don’t have to stop myself. I can fuck her for hours.
There are no rules.
“Amryn.” She gasps as I thrust into her. “Oh fuck.”
I grab her hair in my fist, holding her head up. “You like that?” I ask.
She whimpers. “Oh fuck. Yes. Harder.”
I slam into her, and her pussy gets wetter, everything’s getting hotter. Sweat prickles on my scalp and runs down my back, soaking my shirt.
“Amryn.” She sighs.
Fuck. That’s not her voice. I clench my eyes shut. She’s not Cora. She’s Ceili. I’m allowed to have her. It’s OK. I want this. I want her.
She presses herself back against me, bouncing her ass on me, meeting each one of my thrusts greedily, like she can’t get enough of me. “You feel so good.” She moans. “I’ve wanted you to do this for so long.”
“Yeah?” I ask, putting my hand around her throat, leaning over her to press my lips to hers. “You been thinking of me like this?”
