The Shadow and The Draw, page 2
“Amryn -“
“Just leave me alone.” I push past her.
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” She says, and I can hear the hurt in her voice. “Why would you kiss someone else when we just -“ She trails off.
“Cora, I don’t want to kiss anyone else, but sometimes, I just want to feel like I’m a regular guy, who can do those things, you know?” I can feel the sneer on my face, and I don’t want to be cruel, but I’m hurting. “I have to watch you, with Finn, all the time. You think that’s easy?”
“You know I don’t feel that way about him.”
“And?” I say with a laugh. “What does that change? I’m still just the Draw, still just your dirty secret -“
“You are not my dirty secret!” She cries.
“No?” I scoff. “Then what am I?”
She shakes her head. “You know exactly what you are, Amryn, you’ve always known that.”
“Yeah well, I can’t be that. And this -“ I gesture back and forth between the two of us. “It stops, now.”
“Amryn -“ She takes a step towards me.
“Go back to the party.” I point over her shoulder. “Your fiance’s waiting for you.” I turn on my heel.
“I want to be with you.” But she doesn’t follow me. She knows there’s no point.
I keep walking, through the forest, away from her. The night is warm, and the moon is bright.
Only four weeks until she’s his.
Tonight was the last time.
2
Cora
It takes me a while to realise the drumming I can hear is rain against my window, and not the thumping in my head. I pull my pillow over my head. I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have had so much whiskey last night. It does this to me every time. But seeing Amryn with that girl, and then having a stupid fight with him…
I don’t have a right to be angry. He’s not mine. I know that. Even though he’s been my first, my only. I’ve never been with anyone else. I never want to be with anyone else. But I don’t have a choice. None of us do.
I roll onto my back, throwing my arms out. I hate this. I’ll never forget the look on Amryn’s face the day we were summoned to the council and told what the Fates had decided - that I was destined for Finn, and Amryn was destined to be alone, to be the Draw.
It still didn’t stop us, of course. I’ve loved Amryn ever since I can remember. It’s always been him. I close my eyes, breathing in deeply, allowing myself a small smile. I think back to that first time, and all the times since then, remembering the feeling of Amryn’s mouth on mine, his hands on me, his -
“Cora!” My mother calls from the kitchen. I can smell bacon, and coffee. She’s been doing this a lot lately, putting in a lot of effort to make every meal, every moment we have together special. I think she’s scared. I think she’s realising that soon her little girl will be a married woman, and won’t be at home anymore.
I push back the comforter and swing my legs over the side of the bed, my head hammering hard. I clutch a hand to my temple, and swear to never drink again. This is bullshit.
“Cora!” My mother calls again.
“Coming!” I stumble to the bathroom, pulling on my white robe with the wide kimono sleeves as I go. As I fold it over my chest, I look down and see the love bite on my breast. Shit. We’re not being careful enough. Not that it matters. It was the last time. Right?
My mother’s standing by the stove serving up bacon and eggs when I walk into the kitchen. She gives me a big grin. “How’s the head?”
I grimace as I sit down at the white table under the window. “I hate whiskey.”
My mother laughs, placing a plate in front of me. “Come on, eat up. It’ll make you feel better.” She pours me a coffee, stirring in the oat milk she insists is better for me than regular, and places that down too. “So.” She fixes me with a stare as she sits down with her own coffee. “How are things with Finn?”
I shove a forkful of bacon and eggs into my mouth so I don’t have to answer right away. Finn’s fine, I guess. He’s tall and blonde and muscular and all the shit the girls love. He’s a good kisser. He’s strong. He’ll be a good alpha.
I look up to see my mother still waiting expectantly. I shrug. “Things are fine. He’s very - affectionate.” I choose the word carefully.
My mother frowns. “He’s not overstepping any bounds, is he?”
“Oh no.” I shake my head quickly. “No, nothing like that.”
“Because Lordain and Morgan have been very adamant about the both of you keeping that until after the wedding,” my mother says sternly.
“I know, Mom,” I assure her, trying to keep my tone light. “It’s nothing like that. He just - I dunno. He wants to kiss me all the time, he touches me a lot, tells me how beautiful I am all the time.” I stab my fork into my bacon.
“Because you are beautiful, sweetie,” my mother says indulgently. “I mean just look at you. Curly hair and that golden skin and your beautiful green eyes, of course he wants to look at you all day.”
I smile. Mothers always think their children are beautiful. “Yeah well, he seems very pleased to have such a pretty fiancee.”
“And rightly so.” My mother sighs as she leans on the table. “I heard Lordain had to pull Amryn into line. That boy -“ She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I have a feeling he’s going to be trouble for you and Finn.”
“No he won’t.” I don’t mean to snap, but I do. “And he’s not a boy anymore, Mom.”
“I know you’re fond of him, sweetie -“
“And you’re not?” I ask her incredulously. “I mean, you practically raised him after Elspeth died.”
“Of course I am,” she replies quickly, “he was always a good kid. But now, I mean, he needs to know when to fall in line.”
“It’s not easy for him, you know.” I say. “I mean, imagine not even being able to touch another person? No kissing , no hugging, never holding anyone’s hand? That’s awful.”
“Those are the rules, Cora.”
“Well, the rules are stupid.” I throw my fork onto my plate, the pounding in my head returning as anger swells within me. “Why can’t the Draw do their duty if they’re in love? The Striker is allowed to have a regular life, have a family and -“
“That’s just Fate, sweetheart.” My mother interjects. “We demons know how important the Draw is, and it’s a role that should be respected. Especially by the Draw himself. Look at Lordain. His Striker died in the last war, so now he relies fully on Roche to protect him.”
“And what if Roche dies?” I ask dryly.
“The Fates will choose a new Draw for him,” my mother replies, “because the Draw is the one that is important. The most important of all. And that burden brings strict requirements with it”
I shake my head. “Amryn didn’t ask for this.” I say quietly. None of us did. I don’t say that part out loud.
My mother reaches across the table and takes my hand. “Come on now, I didn’t mean to upset you. Eat your breakfast and we’ll plan your birthday party.”
I raise my eyebrows. “My birthday party? I’m not seven years old anymore.”
My mother laughs. “No, but you’ll be 21, and since you can’t have a party on your birthday because of the ascension, I thought it would be nice to celebrate before it. A 21st birthday is a big deal, honey.”
It sure is. Adulthood. Responsibility. Crossing a threshold there’s no coming back from.
“I wish your Dad was here.”
The words catch me off guard. My mother never talks about my father anymore, she stopped years ago. She really must be feeling nostalgic, with my birthday and the Ascension coming up. “He’d probably love the party.” I say quietly.
My mother chuckles, but her eyes look sad as she gazes out the window at the falling rain. “Yes he would.”
We sit in silence for a while, and I drink the disgusting oat milk coffee, swearing to never touch the stuff again once I have my own house. Oh fuck. My own house. With Finn. The impressive log cabin Lordain had built for us - where Amryn fucked me in the bathroom last night. My face burns at the memory.
“Oh,” my mother says suddenly, “your wedding dress arrived.” She gets up from the table, rushing in the direction of her bedroom.
It had taken us a long time to pick out a dress. I didn’t want to get married in white, but everyone insisted. It felt wrong to me. Not because of the stupid “virgin” thing - no, I think I was just determined to push away the idea of being a bride. I wanted black or pink or red, under the premise that I wanted something fun. Something different. But different wasn’t OK.
My mother carries out the garment bag, holding it up and unzipping it, revealing the flowing white gown with thin straps. It’s simple at least. “And we can do your hair with the white flowers,” my mother says, gazing adoringly at the gown.
“Sounds great, Mom.” It doesn’t sound great at all, but I don’t want to ruin her mood. “Well, thanks for breakfast.” I get up from my chair and clear my plate.
“Where are you going?” She asks, zipping the dress back into its bag.
“I need to go train,” I reply, stretching my back. “A workout will be good for my hangover.”
My mother looks out the window. “But it’s raining.”
“I don’t care!” I leave the kitchen quickly, and head back to my bedroom to change into black leggings and a neon pink crop top. Yes, a workout is definitely what I need. I pile my curls on top of my head and secure them with a black scrunchie.
The rain is invigorating, and the compound is quiet as I make my way across the grass towards the training yards. The windows of the log cabins are dark, and smoke curls from some the chimneys even though it’s summer. Everyone’s sleeping off a hangover it seems.
There’s about 400 of us living here, on these acres and acres of land in the valley. It used to be a much smaller clan, but now Lordain is the head of the biggest one. Ever since my father died, and our home was destroyed. Lordain took the survivors in. I should be grateful I guess. Some days it doesn’t feel like much of a blessing.
I look up at the wooded hillsides, watching the mist roll down off them, wondering if Amryn is still out there, or if he returned last night. I shouldn’t have followed him. I have to be so careful not to arouse suspicion. It would put Amryn in danger.
I grab a bo staff as I enter the training yard, swinging it absently in my hand, twirling it across my palm. I approach the wooden dummy with the swinging arms, and slam the bo staff into its body, sending the arms flying into rotation. I easily hit them all back, alternating the bo staff back and forth.
“You’ve gotten real good at that.”
I stop, smiling to myself. I turn around, and Amryn’s standing there, in the rain. He’s not wearing a shirt, and his tattooed arms are crossed over his chest, and everything’s muscly and bulging and so fucking hot. His black hair hangs over one shoulder, his hazel eyes fixed on me. And he’s smiling at me, our fight from last night forgotten.
I hold the staff out to him. “You want to have a turn?”
He shakes his head. “I like watching you.”
“Oh come on.” I grin at him. “Show me your moves, Runt.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Don’t call me that.”
I bite my lip. I don’t even know why I said that. It’s cruel. I shouldn't call him that.
He steps forward, grabbing the bo staff from me. I stand back, and watch as he spins the staff in front of him, behind his back, seemingly not even touching his hands as it whirls around him. With a deft movement, he swings it at the dummy and shatters the top of it clean off in a shower of wood splinters.
He throws the staff to the ground and stalks past me.
“Amryn, I’m sorry.”
He stops, turning back towards me. Oh god, he’s so beautiful.
“Don’t call me runt.”
“I know. I know. I’m so sorry.”
He points a finger back towards the houses of the compound. “They all talk to me like that. But not you.” His finger points at me. “Not you. Ever.”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Amryn.”
He nods and looks away, unmoving.
“Did you like that girl?” I ask him.
He looks back at me and scoffs, smiling. “Seriously?”
“Yes seriously.” I pick at one of my fingers. “I mean, she was pretty.”
“She was.” He looks up at the rain falling. “You’re prettier though.”
“Did you want to fuck her?”
He shakes his head, grinning crookedly. “Not allowed, baby, you know that.”
“But if it was -“
“Cora.” He interjects, his expression suddenly earnest. “Leave it.”
He’s right. This is a pointless conversation. I’m jealous and that’s all there is to it. “Where did you go last night?”
“Up into the mountains,” he replies, looking up into the green hills, now shrouded in mist. “I just needed to -“ He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He goes to one of the wooden stores, opening it and pulling out two boxing pads, putting them over his hands. “Come on, Alpha Queen. Let’s see what you got.” He drops into a lunge, the pads in front of him.
We’ve been training together for years - or rather, Amryn’s been training me for years. He’s the born warrior. We know each other’s moves, almost like we know what the other person is thinking, but lately I’ve been able to surprise him, and it’s a thrill every time.
I smirk, then rush at him, swinging to the left, raising my right knee at the same time, smashing my fist into the pad and catching him in the ribs with my knee. Amryn stumbles backwards, chuckling. “Is that all you got? You really did drink too much last night.”
I spin and kick backwards, Amryn dodging me easily. He backs up along the yard, and I follow him, my right fist shooting out and connecting with the pad.
“Oh come ON,” he jeers, “that’s all the Alpha Queen can throw at me?”
“Why you hiding behind those pads, Amryn?” I tease, and stick out my tongue. “Afraid I’m going to hurt you?”
He straightens up and raises his eyebrows. “Oh, it’s hand-to-hand combat you want, huh?” He throws the pads aside, and raises his bare hands. “Come and get me then.”
I rush at him, and as he raises his hands I drop into a spin kick, taking out his legs, and he falls flat on his back. He laughs, and launches himself back up on to his feet and tries to grab me, but I duck out of his grasp and spin behind him, jumping on his back, getting his neck in a vice grip.
“Look at you,” he says, then grabs on to my arm, flinging me ass end up, and I land on my back in the mud. He leans on his knees over me, and grins. “What are you doing down there?”
“You should watch out.” I turn over and crawl away in a low crouch. “I’ll get you when you least expect it.”
Amryn throws his head back and laughs, then launches himself at me again, landing on top of me, hands either side of my head. He looks down, and sees my feet planted against his stomach, giving me a crooked grin when he looks back at me. “Nice one.”
I push with all my might and while he doesn’t fly as far as I would like, it’s far enough. As usual though, his recovery is lightning fast, and he’s back on his feet.
“You can do better than this, Cora,” he says, putting his hands on his hips. I can’t help but notice how low his jeans are hanging, the rain and sweat mingling on his body and running down his abs. “Eyes up, soldier.” He barks, grinning.
I roll my eyes. “I can do way better than that, just depends on how much pain you’re prepared for.”
He bares his teeth at me and spreads his arms wide. “We both know you can’t hurt me, baby.”
“You sure about that?”
“Haven’t managed to so far.” He cocks an eyebrow. “Not anything I didn’t want to have hurt anyway.”
My mouth twitches into a self-assured smirk. “Maybe today’s the day your luck runs out, huh?” My veins glow white as I summon my flames.
Amryn laughs. “I dare you.” He flexes his outstretched arms, his tattoos rippling. “I double dare you.”
I throw myself at him, the white bolts of my flames leaping from my fingers and striking him like lightning, sending him flying, flat onto his back in the mud. I laugh. “You shouldn’t dare me, Amryn.” He lies completely still. I roll my eyes. “Come on, get up.” I say. He’s still not moving. “Amryn, this isn’t funny.”
Oh fuck. Oh no. He’s the only one who can withstand my flames, he’s right I can’t hurt him. But he’s lying there and he’s still not moving.
He wasn’t ready. I hit him too hard. Shit shit shit.
“Amryn!” I hurtle to his side. His eyes are closed, and he’s still not fucking moving. I grab his chest, shaking him. Is he breathing? “Oh my god, Amryn, Amryn, oh shit.”
His chest shakes as he begins to laugh, squinting at me in the falling rain. “Gotcha.”
“You fucking asshole.” I slap him hard across the face. “You scared the shit out of me!” He grabs my hand and rolls me over onto my back, pinning me down in the sodden mud. “Ugh!” I cry out as the mud seeps into my clothes, and all through my hair. “Amryn, let me up!”
“Do you yield?” He’s grinning at me, laughing as I sink further into the filthy mud.
I spit in his face. “Fuck you.”
His eyes flame, and then he crushes my mouth with his. This is dangerous. We’re out here in the open, anyone could see us. But his mouth on mine is so electric and so fucking delicious and all I want is for him to tear my clothes off and fuck me right then and there.
He pulls back from me and grins. “You need a shower, Cora, you’re disgusting.”
I buck underneath him. “So let me up.”
He presses his hips between my thighs, and I can feel his cock swelling against me through his jeans, and oh my fucking god I’m dripping wet in every possible way. “Do. You. Yield?” He asks me again, his lips nipping at mine.
