Corrupted, page 25
“I think perhaps by that point it was too late,” admitted Lucy and the widow looked at her enquiringly and sympathetically. Lucy could not take Michael’s widow looking at her in such a way, especially when she owed this woman nothing. “Look I don’t have to explain any of this to you,” stated Lucy and the widow blinked before she smiled slightly at Lucy.
“No of course you don’t, you don’t owe me any explanation.” She started to get up to leave, but Lucy gestured at her to sit back down.
“Why now?” asked Lucy suspiciously. After all, was it just a coincidence that after she had remembered she was a murderer, that Michael’s widow had just shown up out of the blue?
“What?” asked the widow looking questioningly at Lucy.
“Why did you seek me out now after all this time?” repeated Lucy, if she had been defensive and suspicious of people’s motive before she remembered she was a murderer and before Remy tricked her, then she was even more suspicious and defensive now. The widow appeared uncertain, as if there was something she was struggling to come to terms with or something she at least did not want to share with Lucy.
“I have been thinking of doing this for a while”, she admitted honestly, “but now I am to become a grandmother…I needed to put some demons to rest before my grandchild is born.” Lucy blinked, wondering how so many years had passed since Michael’s death that his son was now to have a son of his own.
“Michael would have been a grandfather,” said Lucy quietly and the widow nodded at her.
“Yes, he would have,” she said, “that’s why I had to know, and now I do so thank you.” Lucy felt extremely odd being thanked for something that was not within her control, but she simply nodded at the widow who got up to leave. However, Lucy knew she would regret it if she left without being certain of the truth, so she jumped up quickly too.
“Are you being truthful?” asked Lucy fearfully, “did Michael really love me? I can take the truth.” The widow’s facial expression softened, as she gazed Lucy, through narrowed eyes.
“When he told me, he wanted the divorce I was livid,” she confessed, “I started looking through his things for proof of who you were, of something that might tell me why he was doing it. I came across a ring he had recently purchased, I assumed he was going to ask you to marry him.” Tears trailed down Lucy’s face as she realised how many years she had spent hating Michael, wondering why he had used her and now it turned out that she’d been wrong all this time.
The widow began to walk away towards the exit, but after a few steps, she turned back to look at Lucy. “I blamed you for years for tearing my family apart,” she said, “as far as I was concerned you were the root of all the evil in my life from that point onward.” Lucy grimaced, she knew this woman would not have thought fondly of her after what had happened, but it was extremely uncomfortable to hear just how much she had been despised. “I no longer blame you,” said the widow, “and I’m sorry that I did.” Lucy blinked as the woman walked away, wondering why some people found it so easy to let go of their hurt and anger while she had clung to hers. Then she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder and turned to see the security guard gesturing to her to leave the visitors centre. As she followed the security woman back to the main building, she was a whirlwind of mixed emotions, but the biggest feeling inside of her, was despair. With a trial looming, she wondered just how much pain there was to come.
Chapter Forty
Confessions
Dear Diary
It turns out that I did do it and I don’t know how I can live with myself. Robertson has told me that I’ve been suffering from a condition called dissociative amnesia, which means I blocked out what I did for months, I never thought I could hurt another human being, so I can’t contemplate that I ended someone’s life. It all seems like a bad dream, but one I can’t wake up from. What do you do when you suddenly realise, you’re a monster? How can somebody else forgive me when I can’t even forgive myself? I don’t blame Remy for what she did, but I am shocked at how she managed to deceive everyone. I can’t believe she turned out to be the sister of the person I murdered. Every day I wish I was dead, and sometimes I think I should just end my life, but then I think that my suffering would be over, and I really don’t deserve that. The least I can do is serve my punishment. Everything I’ve been through has turned me in to who I am, but I’m the one who made those decisions, I’m the one who did that wicked thing. Would it have been any different if someone would have shown me a little love? A little kindness? If I’d have known Michael had loved me? It’s possible, but then again possibilities are endless and all I’m faced with is the ugly reality of what I did and who I am now; I AM MURDERER!
Lucy
Epilogue
A dark figure crossed the road behind the Charwood institute, towards a woman waiting stood on the pavement. He wore dark joggers and a navy-blue hoodie; he seemed to be walking with a purpose. When he got to the woman, he observed her carefully for a moment before saying, “did it work?” The woman smiled up at him sweetly.
“Yes,” replied Remy. “She still believes you’re dead…”
To be continued...
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R E Harper, Corrupted
