Suburban Warlock: A Slice of Life Fantasy, page 25
The cigar fell from Glok’s mouth.
‘What did you just say?’ He asked.
‘The museum. That’s where this belongs. These are ancient artifacts.’
‘Okay, I take it all back,’ Glok frowned with deep disappointment. ‘The old you is not back. The old you would have stopped at nothing to hoard as much gold as he could.’
‘I did hoard as much gold as I could – literally. $6 million was as much as I could comfortably carry across the country. Any more and I would have probably put my back out getting it here before I turned thirty. Not ideal.’
‘Fuck ideal!’ Glok shouted. ‘You can pay for the best chiropractor in the country with all of this!’
‘Do you know what’s worth more than even more gold? Being able to wake up at 10am, order a burger and fries for breakfast and spend the rest of the day sunbathing in the backyard of a house that’s all mine.’
‘With an ever-increasing pile of gold sitting next to you! Right? Right?!’
‘Gold that’s doing what?’
‘GETTING BIGGER!’
‘I have enough gold to last me the rest of my life, man. Enough that I can afford to chill out from now on and worry about the finer things in life, like Sophie, like Victoria, like the awesome house that I call home now.’
‘I knew it, Trent. You’ve gone soft. Helping people. Pfft. Where’s the enterprising, overpowered dungeon clearer that I used to know?’
‘Retired,’ I smiled to myself, throwing the gold bar back into the chest.
‘Javv, what do you think about this?’ Glok asked, patting my hovering familiar on the side as he bobbed up and down nearby. ‘I feel like I do all of the talking around here, and you never put your two cents in the mix. Should he keep it?’
Knowing whether Javvik was preparing to do anything outside of battle was always tough to tell considering he spent of his time hovering lightly on the air silently.
For a few moments, Glok and I just stared up at him. I was around about ready to assume that was all he had for us, but then…
Javvik pushed his skeletal hands slowly into the folds of his hood and slowly drew it back.
My breath caught in my throat. I had never seen his actual head before.
A large skull sat atop the heavy cloak that Javvik wore, completely void of anything that had once made it a living being. The purple light of his being glowed in his eye sockets, the only part of him beneath that hood I had seen before now.
Then I noticed the tusks jutting out from his lower jaw.
‘You… You’re an orc?’ Glok whispered.
‘I was an orc, a long, long time ago,’ he spoke. ‘Now I’m something quite different. One moment, please.’
Javvik hovered over to the chest, reached out a skeletal hand and picked up one of the gold pieces. He sank his orcish teeth into one of the pieces and held it up the light of my lantern.
‘Hm,’ Javvik muttered.
‘You have no idea how many questions I have right now, Javv,’ Glok whispered, sounding scared for the first time since I had ever met him.
‘I can imagine,’ Javvik chuckled slightly. ‘As for the gold, I think that our master should donate it to whatever cause he sees fit.’
‘But why?’ Glok asked.
‘Because I believe that he should.’
‘That’s not a reason!’
‘You asked for my opinion, not the justification behind my opinion.’
‘But that’s not how this works!’
‘It works however I should say it works,’ Javvik spoke, looking to Glok with those terrifying purple eyes. His skull was unmoving, but I could swear that he frowned.
‘Noted,’ Glok spoke, another frightened whimper on his voice as he took another step back.
‘Good.’
‘But I do have one request of you, man.’
‘Go on.’
‘Never ever remove your hood again. Even with nothing but a skull for a head, you look pissed off.’
‘Ignored.’
Chapter 42
Museum Revitalized
It was morning by the time I emerged from the dungeon with the treasure and. The beautiful sunrise shone down over the hills just outside of Emberfall with all the beauty that nature could muster.
We drove through the hills with the top down, taking the winding, descending road back into Emberfall, enjoying the clear air along the way.
‘Straight to the museum?’ Victoria asked from the driver’s seat.
‘Your place,’ I answered. ‘I need you to use those lawyer skills of yours to draw up a contract.’
‘Oh?’
‘When gold like this is found, you never know which hands will turn greedy. After we donate all of this to Emberfall Museum, who knows what kind of cloying hands could come out of the woodwork to try and lay claim to it? We need to know that everything we’re donating is going to the museum, and nowhere else.’
After a pitstop back at Willow Lane, Victoria got to work drawing up a contract at her dining room table.
‘How long does it take to write these things?’ I asked. ‘I’m guessing a while. I don’t want you to feel like I’m overburdening you with work.’
‘Overburdening?’ She laughed charmingly. ‘You’re funny…’
Victoria waved her wand, and in a matter of moments the contract came to life with ink. Words appeared in an intimidating, calligraphic hand, scrawled across the page with all the prestige I could ask for.
‘Law Magic,’ she shrugged, ‘It’s easy to draw up contract frameworks.’
‘Okay, this is the most suburban thing I’ve seen so far,’ I said.
‘It got the job done back when I was actually on the job. Out here it doesn’t have much use, though it does occasionally come in handy when it comes to getting the more boring paperwork through for pro bono cases. You should see the look on some of the faces when I get this stuff drawn up and whipped their way in a matter of minutes. Law Magic users are really uncommon out here. I know it’s not very sexy, but I can’t fault its usefulness.’
‘Believe me,’ Sophie spoke smoothly, ‘You definitely don’t need magic for that, Victoria.’
The central plaza was quiet, with only the first of the merchants prepping their shops for opening time as the occasional delivery truck rocked up.
Most would still be half-awake, but one would be raring for the day ahead, even when the day ahead in his mind likely didn’t hold a whole lot of good fortune.
But we were about to change that.
The front doors of Emberfall Museum were already unlocked for visitors at 6am when we headed inside, with the whole place unsurprisingly quiet – save for the man running things.
‘Good morning,’ Hobbs fumbled, hurrying over from the glass case he was waxing and straightening his glasses, ‘My apologies that I wasn’t available to greet you at the door, dear visitor – it’s not often that the museum has visitors so early in the morning, but I am here to provide you with any guidance you should need-’ Hobbs trailed off as the sight of me came into view. ‘Ah, Mr. Morelian!’ He laughed, ‘I apologize for my lack of preparedness, all I need is a few more minutes and I shall be at your beck and call.’
‘You apologize way too much for a guy who does such important work for Emberfall,’ I spoke.
‘Important work,’ he repeated with a slight smile, ‘Well, I don’t know about that. I tell myself that it’s important work, but with how few people come through here and how sparing the most important of displays are, it does make me question the relevance of what I do from time to time.’
‘Well,’ I smiled, reaching into my satchel, ‘maybe we can do something about that.’
I set the chest down on the floor and unlocked it. I was familiar with the sight of such riches, but Hobbs wasn’t.
‘Is…’ Hobbs gulped. ‘Is that what I think it is?’
‘A hoard of Elderax gold,’ I replied. ‘If that’s what you’re thinking.’
‘But where… How…?’
‘It’s a long story, and for the sake of security I can’t go naming any sources. Just consider it a donation.’
‘I need your names,’ Hobbs spoke enthusiastically, ‘When the town hears of this, the museum will be more bustling than ever! We need staff, security – I have to call the mayor!’
‘Woah, woah, hold your horses,’ I said. ‘I’m leaving this under your careful watch, but we were never here. No names, no identifying information – just put it down to, uhh…’
‘A team of brave local adventurers who wish to remain anonymous,’ Victoria said, pulling out her lawyer-speak and letting it roll off her tongue effortlessly.
‘Very well,’ Hobbs smiled. ‘This is really going to turn heads, you know? Once the locals find out that we have real Elderax artifact sin our display, things will never be the same around here.’
‘I’ll bet,’ I nodded, ‘But we can’t have anybody trying to get their hands on it for their own personal use.’
‘I promise,’ Hobbs spoke insistently, ‘I would never dare…’
‘Oh, not you,’ I clarified, ‘I trust you as a man of history. It’s more the opportunists higher up. Trust me when I say I’ve met plenty who try to take advantages of situations like this.’ I handed Hobbs the contract that Victoria had written up. ‘We’ve assigned you and you alone as the overseer and keeper of these items. You just have to sign that. Any trouble from folks trying to reclaim all of this for whatever reason, you tell them Victoria Jones is keeping watch.’
‘That I am,’ my demon-horned girlfriend winked politely.
‘And if anybody shows up trying to get their hands on it without using their words – well, then you give me a call.’
We left the museum in the early morning sunshine, returned to Victoria’s car and popped the trunk. Surani’s staff was the only thing that remained, wrapped up in a thick canvas sheet, the green gemstone at its tip glowing warmly.
‘You see the problem we have, don’t you?’ Sophie said. ‘This staff would be a great display piece in the museum, and with the magic it wields having so many links to the magic in Emberfall, it would offer proof that Surani helped nurture huge parts of the town. The only problem is that Surani wants it back. The very person who it would give credit to wants to take it away from the place where it would earn her the credit.’
‘She doesn’t care about people knowing that she helped nurture this land,’ I said. ‘All she cares about is relaxing in my backyard and having possession over her staff.’
‘But does that make it right?’ Victoria asked. ‘People deserve to know the truth, that she had a huge part in building this place. The Elderax might have built the foundations of this town, but they still tried to steal her magic after burning through their own, as opposed to just working with her.’
I stared down at the staff.
‘This won’t be the only thing around here that evidences her involvement or the Elderax actions,’ I said. ‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that controversy courts attention. The museum will be back on its feet with all of the Elderax treasure on display, but in a few months’ time we could add a whole new dimension to the place by revealing the truth.’
‘But with what?’ Sophie asked. ‘Surani’s staff? I don’t think she’s ever going to part with it.’
‘We’ll figure it out,’ I nodded. ‘Right now I just want to get this thing back to her.’
‘Because you want your yard back?’ Sophie laughed.
‘Not exactly. I just think she deserves it.’
***
‘Here it is, just like you asked.’
Surani shuffled awake on her viny bed, pulled back her heart-shaped shades groggily and frowned at the five of us. I had summoned Glok and Javvik too considering that they had had a decent part in helping with all of this.
Surani’s eyes lit up with disbelief the moment she saw the staff.
‘You… You did it?’ She spoke in shock, awakening immediately and pushing slowly to her feet.
‘Just about,’ I said. ‘I’m not going to lie, there were a few close shaves along the way, but-’
Surani threw herself at me suddenly, wrapping her arms around me in a tight, thankful hug as she pushed her curves up to me.
‘I knew I could count on you, Trent,’ she smiled happily, stepping back and pressing her hands to my cheeks as she gazed into my eyes.
‘Least I could do,’ I smiled. ‘Give it a whirl.’
Surani flexed her hands and reached out for the staff uneasily. The moment her hands made contact, a flash of green sparked between her and the tool.
The rest of us stepped back as she laughed happily to herself. The jury was still out on the possibility that she might use her magic to cause a little chaos, but when I saw the tears in her eyes, my suspicions of that vanished.
‘Now, as promised,’ she spoke. Surani stamped her staff twice on the ground in quick succession. The whole yard suddenly rumbled, and in a matter of moments the overgrown grass that towered over our heads receded into the earth.
Seconds later it was done, standing only a foot-tall around our ankles. I couldn’t deny that the place was still a total mess: weeds and shrubs crowded the places, and the grass needed a real cut with the mower, not to mention the occasional swampy patches logged with murky water.
But here it was – the final piece of my home, uncovered and under my control.
‘Feel free to tidy this up,’ Surani yawned returning to her viny bed, setting her staff down and collapsing onto her back. ‘I’m exhausted.’
I thought that she was joking, but a moment later she passed out happily, just as she usually was.
Glok, Javvik, Sophie, Victoria and I all glanced between each other and the yard.
‘Honestly?’ Glok finally said, ‘I think it looked better with the grass. At least then you couldn’t see all of this shit. Looks like a fucking swamp.’
‘Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.’
‘Any time, boss.’
Chapter 43
Perfect Company
After coming to Emberfall I said to myself that I would never set foot in a dungeon again.
Was it a promise to myself? Not exactly. A reassurance to my sanity? Not that either. It was more a commitment to not running through the same motions over and over again.
But here I was in suburbia, the land of doing the same things over and over again – and I was loving it.
Somehow I had found myself traversing yet another dungeon, and of all things it was for the sake of somebody else.
But the nature of that somebody else was what made all the difference; not only did it give Hobbs the pick-me-up he needed, not only did it satisfy the wood-nymph’s need for a champion to keep her and her lost tribe’s stolen artifacts safe, but it would put the spring in the step of the town’s magical heritage.
After having been up all night, Sophie, Victoria and I turned in to bed and slept all through the day and long into the night. The two beautiful women I shared my bed with couldn’t have felt more at home, and even after so much sleep the next morning, I didn’t want to be anywhere other than beneath the sheets, the TV playing dimly in the background as they snuggled up either side of me.
In coming to Emberfall I had planned to settle down with one woman and spend my days chilling out. For one, I didn’t think that would be the smoking hot assistant professor living in the big house across the street.
For another, I didn’t think that another woman would enter the mix who I would fall for just as hard as Sophie. Now, with Victoria curled up next to me, her incredible curves pressed to my side and engulfing me in total pleasure, I realized just how stupid I had been.
These two women were driving me wild, and it wouldn’t surprise me if more entered the mix the longer I spent in suburbia.
Considering I was planning on spending forever here, I had no idea how many that would be.
***
Summer was fast approaching, and with it the promise of plenty of chilling out. While I tended to my home, Victoria spent the next couple of days obsessively cleaning up her house in the aftermath of the last of the temp dungeon’s presence, while Sophie finished up her work at the college.
‘I am done,’ Sophie laughed as she arrived at my place, undoing her blonde hair from her ponytail and letting it flow over her shoulders.
She shook her hair out, looking more delicious than the first time I had met her on my doorstep.
‘Fuck work, fuck research and fuck my desk…’
‘I thought you said you loved your work,’ I laughed.
‘Yeah, but I like relaxing more.’
We headed over to Sophie’s house with our swimming gear. Sophie and I changed up and relaxed on a pair of sun loungers in her backyard. There wasn’t a shred of wind, and the pleasant bubbling of the jacuzzi nearby added a warm white noise to the yard.
‘This is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my summer,’ Sophie said, ‘No work, no papers, no nothing.’
‘Wish granted,’ I smiled, placing my hands behind my head and relaxing on the lounger. ‘Maybe I’ll be able to get an intentional tan for the first time in my life.’
‘You already look like you’ve got one,’ Sophie smiled, looking my chiseled figure up and down.
‘Only because I’ve had a chance to jog around here lately. In the past it was dungeons all day, darkness by night. I caught a little sun travelling, but it was always patchy.’
‘Look at you, suddenly vain.’
‘I’m not vain, I’m just enjoying the little things in life.’
The French doors to my right clicked open, and Victoria stepped down from the porch in her swimsuit.
‘Holy fuck…’ Sophie said it, but I thought it.
Last time it had been Sophie making me drool when she showed up and cast off her robe; now it was Victoria.
I had already seen her naked back at the edge of the forest when we had made love a few days before, but seeing her now in that black bikini against her tanned skin was something else.
