Macon's Heart, page 25
part #2 of San Francisco Series
“Me.”
“And it’s pretty obvious she knows you better than anyone, including me and the other people in your life you’ve known for years.”
“She does,” she agreed. “How does that happen?”
“I have no idea.” Keira chuckled lightly.
“One day, I have these best friends – who I think know me better than I know myself – and any woman I’d actually settle down with would have a hard time trying to fit into that,” Macon said.
“I know: all the inside jokes, all the drinks and conversations, parties and weekend trips; you start to think that no woman would want to try to fit into the group because it’s hard to compete with all that history,” Keira added. “Emma and Hailey, for example, have like a century of history. Then, there’s that whole group of friends Emma has found herself fitting into. I used to think I was lucky because at least they all live in Chicago; Emma has to deal with you weirdos all the time.” She tossed a playful smile in Greene’s direction.
Greene returned it and ran both of her hands up and down over her face before standing somewhat resolutely and turning back to Keira, who sat forward expectantly.
“She’s always fit into this group, you know that. Emma’s amazing. We all love her and the two of you together,” she told Keira.
“And it’s the same with Joanna, Make. She’s amazing. And the two of you together are also amazing.” Keira stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Maybe Joanna messed up this morning. I don’t know; I wasn’t there. Maybe you need to cut her a little slack because she’s in a different situation than either of us has ever been in. We don’t know what that’s like. And maybe you’re both right, or you’re both wrong.”
“Either way, I should apologize.” Greene nodded more at herself than at Keira.
“You have a right to your feelings. Just express them to her and try not to get defensive or make it about you,” she advised.
“I don’t know how I can do that tonight, since she’s on parent patrol.”
“And you’re really worried she’d leave you because of what her parents might say or do?”
“No.” Greene made her way toward the front door with Keira following closely behind. “It’s more like I see it happening how I told you before, and tonight is the jumping off point.”
“So, if you don’t stop it tonight, then what?” Keira questioned.
“They’ll start getting more and more involved in our lives because they want me out of their daughter’s. Joanna will have a hard time fighting them off. They don’t live in Chicago,” she reminded. “It’s not that long of a drive for them to run interference.”
“Talk to her,” Keira implored with a gentle hand on Greene’s forearm and a softness in her tone that suggested she understood Greene’s concerns.
“I will.” Greene opened the front door. “See you later.”
“Call me if you need me,” Keira offered.
“I will. Have fun with Hailey and Charlie. That’s one interesting week-long double date.” Greene laughed a little.
“Hailey’s in town this week for work, and Charlie sometimes tags along with her. I like them both. It was strange, at first, but they’re crazy about each other. I know Emma’s crazy about me. It’s not strange anymore. Plus, I get her wanting to see them whenever she can. I have you guys here; Emma’s friends are all in the Midwest.”
“Tell Emma I said hi. I’ll go figure out the situation with my girlfriend so she and I can end up domesticated like the two of you,” Greene said with cynicism in her tone but hope inside her mind for that future with Joanna.
“Hey, you should have dinner with us tonight.”
“The four of you?”
“Yes.” Keira laughed.
“So, I’d be the fifth wheel? No thanks.”
“You wouldn’t be a fifth wheel. And you should meet Hailey and Charlie; they’re great. Plus, I think Emma would love all of you guys to meet, anyway. I can see if Hill can make it, too, so you’d be one of six. I’ll call her now and set it all up. Just come back here. I’ll text you the time later.”
CHAPTER 27
“Mom, I’m serious: you need to drop this,” Joanna argued with her mother as she raced through the door of the restaurant.
Her father held it open for both women and then moved in after them, closing it behind him. He ambled to the hostess podium to let the staff know they’d arrived for their reservation.
“Joanna, I’m not saying you should break up with Macon. What kind of name is Macon for a woman?” She seemed to be asking herself as she wiped at the bench seat in the restaurant’s lobby to remove invisible dirt and dust.
Joanna resisted an eye-roll as she flopped down next to her mother and watched as her father continued to talk to the two women behind the podium.
“It’s a family name, Mom. I’ve asked you at least ten times to leave this alone already. Now, I’m telling you,” she retorted.
She’d left Macon in her apartment earlier partly out of necessity; she would have been late for her job had she not left. But, being honest with herself – as she sat and waited impatiently for a table so this dinner could officially begin and then, hopefully, wrap up quickly – she’d also left Macon in her apartment in that moment because she’d been a complete coward and had no idea how to handle a situation like this. When she’d first realized her feelings for Macon, it had been an adjustment in her mind, but it had been a somewhat easy one to make. Macon was already so ingratiated in her life, and they seemed to fit so well together. It was also a simple adjustment, because ever since she’d met Emma at work and begun hanging out with her friends, she’d been surrounded by lesbians. It sounded funny to her, as she watched her father finally lumber over to the bench to sit alongside his wife and child.
A random wedding had led her to an amazing group of friends, who happened to be women that dated other women. She’d never really thought about that before this moment, but spending so much time with them, seeing how normal it is – dating another woman, watching them go through the same things as heterosexual couples go through – helped play a part in her ability to consider Macon in another light. She’d opened herself to Macon and wanted nothing more than to spend her life with that woman. But, this morning, she’d let her overbearing and never approving mother get the best of her. She’d never forgive herself for making Macon feel unworthy or doubt her feelings for her.
Even if they worked through this, she’d always be able to see Macon’s fear and disappointment on that expressive face. Joanna lowered her head as the image came to her for the millionth time that day. She’d promised herself, while she’d been snapping photos at yet another wedding, that she’d never make Macon feel that way again. She’d stand up to her parents and get her mother to accept that Macon was the one she wanted. And, if she was lucky, Macon would forgive her. They’d have a photographer take pictures at their wedding someday, because she knew that was what she wanted more than anything. Macon Greene was her other half, the one she’d been searching for her entire life; and she would not risk losing her.
“It’s a man’s name, Joanna.” Her mother turned to her.
For the first time, Joanna could see the pronounced crow’s feet and wrinkles around her mother’s mouth. The woman had pasted a thick coat of red lipstick on, as if to attempt to draw attention away from them, but Joanna saw them clearly, along with the line of foundation her mother had used that morning to cover her entire face before applying layers of powder over it. The foundation was a shade too dark and made the lines close to her ears obvious, along with the fact that her neck was a shade lighter.
“It’s my girlfriend’s name, Mom. I like it. I love it. I love her.” She turned more to her mother. “She’s–”
“Here,” her father interrupted.
Joanna looked in his direction first, before following his pointed index finger in the direction of the front door of the restaurant. Macon was standing there, looking down at her phone. Joanna stood and was promptly pulled back down by her mother’s hand on her wrist.
“Joanna, we said this was a family dinner. Did you invite her after we left?”
“No, Mom,” she replied and stood back up, losing her mother’s hand in the process.
“The reservation was for three people,” her father stated matter-of-factly.
Joanna glared at him before she realized that he wasn’t even thinking about Macon. Her father was a very straightforward man. He appeared to be running through how four people could possibly fit into a reservation for three people.
“Dad, I don’t think they have tables just for three people here. We’ll be fine.” She made her way over to Macon, who was still staring down at her phone. Just as she approached Macon, her own phone beeped in her purse, but she left it there and stood in front of her girlfriend. “What are you doing here?” she asked and suddenly felt upset with Macon. “I asked you–”
“I just texted you,” Macon replied, and her eyes showed concern that, Joanna guessed, was in place because of her own tone toward the dark-haired beauty.
“Hey, Joanna,” Keira greeted as she, too, made her way through the front door, with Emma close behind and two other women behind her that Joanna knew to be Hailey and Charlie, Emma’s best friends from Chicago. “Did we know you were going to be here?” she asked Macon.
“I didn’t know we were going to be here,” Macon answered her and then turned back to Joanna.
“Hey there,” Emma greeted Joanna and took Keira’s hand.
“I’ll check on our reservation; make sure they made the adjustment,” Hailey stated and then approached Joanna to give her a hug. “We didn’t know you’d be here. It’s nice to see you again.”
“You too.” Joanna hugged her back. “I didn’t know you were in town.” She glanced at Macon as if it was Macon’s fault she didn’t know. “Hey, Charlie.”
“Hey.” Charlie waved.
“We’re here for the week.” Hailey pulled back and pointed in the direction of the podium where she then walked.
“We changed the reservation to add Greene and Hillary, who’s on the way. We should add you, too,” Charlie suggested.
“I’m here with my parents.” Joanna pointed to the two people sitting behind her, likely trying to listen into the conversation she was currently having.
“I didn’t know we were coming here,” Macon stated.
“It’s true,” Keira interjected and separated from Emma’s hand. “I told her to meet us at our place. We didn’t know Hailey had made reservations here until ten minutes ago. We just drove Make over; she didn’t know until we got here.”
“I texted you,” Macon repeated. “Do you want me to go?” she asked.
Joanna knew she had a decision to make and that it would impact her relationship with both her parents and the woman she loved, who was standing in front of her, giving her the chance to make it.
“Joanna?” her mother interrupted her thoughts.
Joanna turned to see her mother standing behind her, with her father to her right.
“Mom, these are my friends: Keira and Emma; Hailey’s over there, and this is her wife, Charlie.”
“I’m here. Sorry, had to park.” Hillary entered in a rush.
“And this is Hillary,” Joanna offered.
“Nice to meet you all,” her mother replied in the false politeness Joanna knew all too well.
“Oh, two more?” Hailey returned and noticed the two people standing behind Joanna.
“We have a reservation,” her father said.
“We can all sit together, yeah?” Hailey suggested and glanced in the direction of her wife. “They’re putting tables together for us. I’m sure they can grab a few more chairs?” she questioned in Joanna’s direction now.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Hailey,” Joanna replied.
Macon’s face told Joanna she’d said the wrong thing. When the phone dinged again in her purse, indicating at Macon’s initial message, Joanna pulled it out merely to silence the incessant sounds. She read Macon’s message, and her face dropped. She clicked the button to darken the phone’s screen and tossed it back inside before looking up at her girlfriend.
“Keira, I’m going to pass on dinner,” Macon stated and turned away from Joanna. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.”
“Sure,” Keira replied with a knowing expression. Joanna wondered what the woman knew of their morning argument, based on how she’d come to Macon’s defense earlier. “I’ll order you an Uber since we drove you.” She pulled out her phone.
“You okay, Make?” Hillary asked.
“I’ve been better,” Macon answered her while still facing away from Joanna.
“Joanna, our table’s ready.” Her father placed a hand on her shoulder from behind.
“Hailey, can you ask them to add a few more chairs?” Joanna asked.
“No problem.” Hailey smiled and headed back to the podium without another word.
Macon turned back with a confused expression on her face.
“Cancel the Uber?” Keira asked Joanna.
“Cancel the Uber,” Joanna confirmed. “Stay,” she half-whispered to Macon and took her hand by the fingertips, at first, until Macon allowed Joanna’s fingers to mingle with her own.
“Should I cancel our table?” her father asked her mother.
“Yes,” Joanna replied. She turned away from Macon to face her mother. “This is my life, Mom. These are my friends. If you want to have dinner with me, have dinner with all of us.”
“Joanna–”
“Mom, stop,” she demanded but kept her tone soft so the others wouldn’t hear. “Please.”
Her mother pursed her lips, glanced at her husband and then back to Joanna before she nodded reluctantly. Joanna nodded back at her in silent understanding that neither of them was particularly happy at that moment, but that they’d both accepted that now was not the time to bring it up. Joanna turned back to Macon and took her hand.
“We’ll catch up,” she told Charlie and Emma, who were standing the closest.
“Okay.” Emma nodded and took Keira’s hand.
The group walked off toward the podium, where they met Hailey. Joanna’s parents were still behind her. She couldn’t say too much to Macon while they were in earshot, so she pulled Macon aside, with her parents still looking on but unable to hear.
“I’m sorry, Macon,” she began.
“It’s okay.” The woman shook her head.
“It’s not, though,” Joanna replied. “Your text message nearly broke my heart, Make.” She thought back to the message that had told her Macon hadn’t known the group was coming to this restaurant and that she’d make herself scarce. It had gone onto say that she’d hide behind someone or something, or leave altogether if Joanna wanted. “Baby, I am sorry.”
“I know. Me too,” Macon replied. “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”
“Can we make it through this dinner and then go to your place or mine and talk?”
“If we make it through the dinner. Your parents hate me, Jo.”
“They don’t hate you; they don’t know you.”
“They hate that I’m a woman.” Macon looked behind her, and Joanna didn’t need to turn around to know she was staring at her mother. “Your mother is shooting me dagger eyes right now.”
“She shoots dagger eyes at everyone; you’re not special.”
“Jo, I stood up to my parents for you. I told them not to act like pretentious assholes. We left because they couldn’t commit to that. I haven’t talked to them since then. And this morning, you had the same chance, and you didn’t take it. Do you know how that made me feel?”
“It wasn’t exactly the same, though, Macon,” Joanna explained.
“How was it different?” Macon’s eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
“The table’s ready,” Charlie said to the four members of their party who were still in the lobby, while the rest of them were making their way down a long aisle of patrons dining at their own tables.
“Let’s just get this over with.” Macon turned away from her to follow Charlie while Joanna stood still.
“Joanna, are all of these women…”
“Lesbians?” Joanna huffed out a laugh. “Most of them, yes. Hillary is bisexual, Mom.”
“And you are?” her father asked.
“In a lot of trouble with my girlfriend, Dad,” she replied.
CHAPTER 28
Greene ordered a glass of wine, but she wanted something much stronger. Joanna’s mother was giving her the side-eye glare, though, so she resisted, not wanting the woman to think her an alcoholic. She thought about abstaining altogether and ordering water or iced tea, like Joanna’s mother had done. But knew she needed something to get through the night.
“We have a big convention next week in Chicago,” Hailey explained to the large group at the rectangular table. “I’m here to make sure headquarters is ready to roll.”
“No Summer or Lena this time?” Keira asked about two of the other friends she knew from Emma’s Chicago group.
“No,” Hailey returned. “Summer hasn’t been involved in the company officially for a while now. She’s basically left it to Seth.” She paused and looked at Joanna’s parents, who were completely lost. “Seth and Summer Taft.”
The look of recognition came on their faces. Hailey continued telling the group about why she was here and how Charlie joined her because after Hailey completed her work, they’d go on a short trip to wine country. Emma then spoke about an upcoming event for her department that Keira was planning for them, and that her boss was soon to be promoted to a vice president; Emma was on her way to taking her old position. Hillary then added that the head of the Women’s Studies Department was thinking of taking a sabbatical and naming Hillary as the interim department head while she took time off to further her research. Everyone had major updates to provide the group, but as Greene sipped her wine, wanting to gulp it instead, she felt as if she had nothing to offer. Greene felt it more than really noticed it, but there was silence that overtook the group as their entrées were placed on the table in front of them. She brought her mind back into focus and felt a few pairs of eyes on her and a few others on Joanna. It was apparent their friends were waiting for their personal and professional updates. Even Joanna’s parents seemed to be waiting.
