Macon's Heart, page 13
part #2 of San Francisco Series
Joanna looked at the clock and noticed it was after eleven her time, which meant it was after eight in the morning in Rome.
“You’re sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“I plan on telling everyone,” she replied playfully. “How was rehearsal?”
“It was good. The orchestra is nice, and they’re like every other orchestra, so they can obviously play. Gail thinks they’re better than Sydney. And I think sections might be better than Sydney but, as a whole, Rome is better at performance.”
Joanna had heard the name Gail a few times and knew she was along on the tour with Macon as the coordinator’s assistant. She knew she was young and nice, but that was about all Macon had revealed about her.
“Gail, huh?”
“Yeah, we hang out sometimes. She doesn’t know anyone here either.”
“Right.” Joanna stood from her sofa and moved to the front door to make sure it was locked for the night. “Is she gay?”
“Yes.”
“And you guys hang out?”
“We do.” Greene laughed lightly. “Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“Jo…”
“Do you think she’s interested?”
“In me?”
“No, in the fucking wallpaper of your hotel room, Macon. Of course, I mean you.”
She was jealous. Yeah, definitely jealous. Macon could only laugh for a few minutes, or at least it felt like it was a few minutes.
“Jo, she tried the first time we hung out, but I wasn’t into it. That’s me being completely honest with you. She’s the hit and run kind of girl, and she’s about ten years younger than us.”
“So, she’s backed off?” she asked hopefully.
“I told her about you back in Sydney. She asks about you all the time now.”
“Oh, so now she’s into me?” Joanna smiled as she headed to her bedroom.
“She better not be,” Macon said. “She’s fun to hang out with; it’s not like I have any friends wherever we go. But she knows I’m not into her like that. I think she’s in that phase where she wants to pick up a woman a night.”
“Gross.”
“Yeah, but it’s cute that you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” She flopped down on the edge of her bed, laid back, unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. “I just know how women are around you.”
“And you know I’m not interested.”
“I know,” she replied softly and slid out of the jeans she’d been wearing all day. “I know, Macon. I didn’t mean that you would do anything. It’s just hard picturing someone else around you when I can’t be, especially when they’re into women.”
“What are you doing right now? What am I hearing?”
“I’m changing for bed.”
“You can’t do that when you’re on the phone with me,” Macon exclaimed.
Joanna stood and kicked her jeans the rest of the way off.
“Why not? You called to say goodnight. I’m changing so that I can get some sleep.”
“And now I’m picturing you in your underwear near a bed. Thanks, Jo.”
Joanna laughed and tossed the jeans into her laundry basket, on top of the pile of other dirty clothes.
“You know what I miss?”
“Your pants? Put them back on. Add a sweater or maybe a parka to that, too,” Macon suggested and received laughter in return from Joanna.
“I sleep in my panties and a t-shirt, mostly,” she informed. “Sometimes, I sleep naked if it’s hot enough outside.”
“Fuck, Jo. I’m in public here.”
Joanna couldn’t believe she could have this kind of effect on someone as beautiful as Macon Greene.
“I miss you doing laundry over here.” She changed the subject. “I miss having lunch and talking while things are in the washer.”
“Me too.”
“When you get back, I bet you’ll have a lot of laundry. Think maybe you’ll pay me a visit to use the machines?”
“No, Jo,” Macon replied, and Joanna’s playful smile disappeared. “I plan on paying you a visit to take you on a date.”
“A date, huh?” The smile returned.
“Our first date,” Macon corrected.
“That sounds nice.”
“Too many more days here without you.”
“Twenty more, to be exact,” Joanna said.
“You’re counting the days?”
“Since you left, yeah.”
“I miss you.”
“This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing one another,” Joanna added.
“Never again.”
“Never again,” she agreed with a smile. “Have a good rehearsal. Let them hear you, Macon.”
“They always hear me. It’s kind of hard not to, when I’m the only one playing.”
“No, Make. I mean let them really hear you; play for them how you played for me that night.”
There was silence for several moments. Joanna worried she’d said something wrong.
“I was going to make a comment that if I played like that for them, they’d all jump up and kiss me. But I think what I’d rather say is that I don’t want to play for anyone else how I played for you.”
“Save the kissing for me, but give them that part of you, Macon. I’ve seen it now. I saw it that night. I saw it when I went to the performance. It’s beautiful. You’re so beautiful when you play.”
“I’ll try.”
“Don’t try, honey. Do it. Let yourself go. Let them see that part of you. You don’t have to be scared to let it out.”
“Did you just call me honey?”
“I’ve called you that before. I think I called you sweetie once or twice, too.”
“You have. I had to remember we were just friends every time you did that.”
“Well, we’re not just friends anymore, are we?”
“I guess not,” Macon agreed with her.
“Macon, I want this. I want us.”
“I believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t before.”
“Don’t be. Just have the best time playing on your first ever world tour, and then come back here so we can really start this.”
“I will. I should get ready. I have to shower and change.”
“Shower, huh?”
“Yeah, now you know how it feels. You live with that image now. Picture my hands running all over–”
“Okay. I get it.” Joanna laughed. “I’ll just say, ‘have a good day,’ and hang up now.”
“Goodnight, Jo.”
“Have a good day, Make.”
CHAPTER 14
“How’s Vienna?” Joanna asked.
“Your face is prettier,” Macon replied while smiling back at her.
“You’re sweet to me.” Joanna rolled her eyes. “But it is nice to see you when we talk. I’ve missed those eyes.”
“Now, who’s sweet?” Macon wiggled her eyebrows at her. “I’m exhausted. I might not be up for long.”
“It’s late there; I understand. How was the performance?”
“It was the last one. It went well. All of them recently have gone really well.”
“Recently? Why?”
“Because I listened to you,” she admitted, and Joanna smiled when she did.
“How so?”
“You told me to let it out, to just be me out there; and I did. I guess people like it.”
“Of course, they do, Macon. You’re so good. I’ve been watching the videos the orchestras have posted of your performances on their sites. Some have been posted on YouTube already, and there are only good comments. One has ten thousand views, and it was posted like two days ago.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“I didn’t know. They keep me pretty busy here. If I’m not rehearsing with the group, I’m in a solo room. If I’m not doing that, I’m eating or sleeping. I haven’t even seen these cities I’ve been to.”
“That’s no good. You need to try to make time for a little sightseeing. These are beautiful places, Make. You should see them.”
“I will,” Macon replied. “I have something I need to talk to you about.” She turned serious.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Joanna pulled her knees into her body and placed her socked feet on the desk chair.
“They want to extend the tour,” she replied.
“Extend?”
“Two more weeks.”
“Oh.”
“I know,” Macon replied. “It would be two weeks in Boston. They want me to perform at Berklee, since that’s where I went. They’ve got me doing a few shows in other places, too. I haven’t been back since I moved.”
“So, you’re going to Boston?”
“Not yet. I mean, they asked me in Rome, but I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“And now you’re in Vienna and only have one more show before you head to Paris.”
“I know. I waited because Gail had to get me all the details. I didn’t want to talk to you until I saw it all in writing. If I didn’t want to do it, there was no point.”
“But you want to?”
Macon squeezed her lips together as if trying to stop herself from saying it.
“I think I do, yeah. I had a great time in school. I loved the city. Some of my old teachers will be there. They want me to teach some talented current students,” Macon explained. “Temporarily,” she added.
“Are you sure it’s temporary?”
“I don’t want to live there.”
“I mean the tour. Will it extend further?”
“No, this is it. I have to get back home to finish up the season. It’s in the contract.”
“I can do another two weeks,” Joanna said.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to. I miss you, but I understand. I want you to do this for yourself. You’re too good to just sit in an orchestra.”
“You’re biased.”
“Maybe. I’ve gotten a private performance.” Joanna smiled at her. “So, two more weeks. I guess we’ll push our first date back. I’ll cancel the reservations.”
“You made reservations somewhere?” The woman seemed surprised.
“Maybe.”
“Where?”
“You get that information when you get home and we can actually try this whole dating thing in person and not on screens.”
Macon laughed and took a moment to respond.
“I can’t wait to see you in person.”
“Me neither.” She softened at the words and the sight of Macon’s face as she said them.
“You know that thing we did when we talked the first time?”
Joanna’s face reddened at the mention, and she replied, “Yes.”
“I want that for real with you, Jo.”
“Me too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I told you–”
“I know. But saying it and going through with it are two different things. We haven’t talked about that yet: sex.”
“I think we talked a lot about it that night,” Joanna countered.
Macon smiled at her softly and said, “You know what I mean. That was different. That was us speaking in hypotheticals; when I’m here and you’re there.”
“So, you’re worried that when we’re in the same room, I won’t want to go through with it, or that I’ll be scared or won’t like it after?”
“Jo, if we do that and you don’t–”
“Who’s Liv, Make?”
“What?”
“Liv, who is she?”
“Who told you about Liv?”
“Not you,” Joanna returned.
Macon looked away from the screen for a moment before meeting her eyes again.
“I would have told you about her.”
“But you didn’t. Why?”
“Because she was a mistake.”
“She was straight?”
“Yes. And I dated her anyway, believing that she wanted me, and thinking we could have a real relationship one day.”
“What happened?”
“We were friends for a while first; kind of like you and me. I met her when I first moved back. I knew she was straight. I still liked her, though, and thought that maybe it was even more than that. One night, she broke up with her boyfriend and invited me over as a shoulder to cry on. She kissed me. I kissed her back. I left right away because I knew what it was about.” Macon paused. “She apologized, and then a week later, she asked me to come over again. She told me she wanted to try to be with me and that part of the reason she’d ended it with her ex was because of me. I stayed over that night, but we didn’t sleep together. She wanted to take things slow. I understood. We dated for a few weeks, but I was already more than smitten.” She looked away again and then met Joanna’s eyes once more. “When we finally slept together, she didn’t reciprocate, which was fine. I got it. I didn’t have a problem with it the first time, or the second time, or even the third time.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah… By the fourth time, I thought I should say something or ask her if I could do anything to help, to make it more comfortable for her or something.” There was a longer pause this time. “When I went to her apartment one night to surprise her with dinner, the front door was unlocked. I went right in and found her kneeling on the floor of her living room, with her ex-boyfriend standing right in front of her, minus his pants.”
“Jesus, Macon.” She leaned forward. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not many people know about that; maybe only Keira. I’m guessing she’s the one that told you.”
“It was Emma, actually. But I think that comes with the coupling: the telling of secrets.”
“I guess.” Macon nodded and looked far off.
“So, you’re worried I’d do that to you?”
“That specifically – no.” Her face told Joanna she had something else to say. “Jo, I thought I had intense feelings for her. Seeing that hurt like hell. Hearing her tell me after that she just couldn’t do the girl thing but she really liked me as a friend hurt even worse, because I should have known. I should have known she wouldn’t have been able to commit.”
“And with me?”
“I don’t want to be wrong again, Joanna. But I also can’t be wrong again; not with you. You are different. This isn’t some crush I have, or even intense feelings. This is real. It feels real to me. The fact that you’ve been entertaining the idea of trying this with me has been so miraculous, that I’ve been trying to put the worry away.”
“Entertaining the idea? Really? Macon, I listened to you come on the phone and then got myself off after, because I was so turned on,” Joanna reminded her. “Hell, I probably would have had sex with you that night had you not sent me away.”
“You would have?”
“Yes, and I would have reciprocated, too. Trust me.” She watched as Macon’s eyes grew darker and wondered if her own were doing the same. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. I don’t know if it’s for a while or forever. But I do know that I want you. I don’t just want to be touched by you, either. I want to touch you, too. I’ll probably be bad at it at first, but you can teach me what you like. I miss you like crazy, Macon.” Her eyes were welling up with tears. “You know the saying, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’… That’s how I feel right now: like if I would have figured this out sooner, we would’ve had time together before you left. You wouldn’t be worrying about this stuff right now. I miss going for dinner with you all the time, or you doing laundry here. I miss 7Ups. We still have points to earn and prizes to win.” She watched as Macon smiled. “I want all that back when you get home. I want to add to all the things we used to do.”
“Yeah?”
“I want to fall asleep next to you again and wake up next to you. I want you to grumble about the alarm clock again. I want to make you coffee. I want to kiss you before you head off to rehearsal. I want to come up behind you while you cook and hold you. I want to make love to you. I want you to climb in the shower with me. And I want to be your girlfriend. I want all that that entails, okay?”
Macon smiled back and wiped a tear off her cheek as Joanna did the same.
“Me too.”
“Go to sleep, beautiful; and think about everything I just said, okay?”
“I will.”
“Call me when you can?”
“I don’t call anyone else,” Macon replied and smiled, wiping one more tear.
◆◆◆
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Keira asked when Joanna smiled at her phone.
“Yeah, but it’s like two in the morning there. I wonder what’s up. I should get it.”
“Tell her I said hi and that she could call someone she’s not trying to sleep with maybe one day, since other people miss her.”
“I’ll let her know.” Joanna climbed inside the elevator on her way out of the Worthy Bash office after a meeting. “Hey, what are you doing up?”
“I just got back to the hotel.”
“From?” she asked, looking at her watch to make sure she’d done the calculations correctly. “It’s after two, Macon.”
“We went out after the show,” she said, sounding a little slurred.
“Are you drunk?” Joanna laughed as she arrived in the lobby.
“Yes.”
“Where did you guys go?”
“They took me to a bar to celebrate my last show in Paris and bought me drinks. I didn’t want to be rude, so I took them all.”
“Oh, Make.”
“I know. Then, Gail suggested we go to this lesbian bar over by Moulin Rouge, so we did. She ended up meeting some girl and made out with her in a corner while I sat there and did nothing.” She rambled. “I did nothing, okay? Some girls tried to buy me drinks, and one asked me to dance, but I didn’t do it.”
“Okay.” Joanna laughed again and made her way outside.
She didn’t feel like walking home, so she’d ordered an Uber from upstairs, and it arrived just as she’d exited the building. She climbed in and put her phone on mute for a second to say hi to the driver before he started driving.
“I made sure Gail got back to the hotel safely, and now the alcohol is really kicking in, and I am very drunk.”
“Oh, babe. I’m sorry.”
