Fixation, page 10
He’s lazy and entitled on the outside, but he’s smart. It doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t ever forget a condom. “It’s okay.”
My hand cups the back of his head as I bring him back into our kiss, lost in the moment. But for the first time in a long time, I enjoy not having a solid plan, just being in the here and now.
He swallows hard, but his lips move against mine as my hand moves between us, grabbing his rigid cock and guiding him to my entrance. He takes a deep breath as he slides inside, both of us groaning. My head falls back, and his rests in the crook of my neck as he pushes inside me, thrusting deep as I lift my legs and wrap them around him, meeting each thrust.
When we fall into our rhythm and get used to the feel of him bare inside of me, his lips find my neck before we’re both lost in the moment, moving more toward fucking again as he slams into me and my hips buck forward, meeting each stroke, my fingers digging into his biceps.
My teeth sink into the skin of his shoulder as I feel the buildup again and feel him stiffen. “Fuck, Elle.”
I continue to move with him, coaxing him to come, wanting it more than anything in that moment.
His right hand moves between us, sweeping over my clit, and my pussy involuntarily clenches around him, making us both moan loudly. His thrusts are even more animalistic as he fucks me toward our goal. His mouth meets mine with a hungry kiss as he releases inside of me and another orgasm hits me.
My. God.
His body collapses on mine as we both breathe heavily, and then I start to laugh with hysteria from the most intense orgasm and the crushing feeling of his body on mine, him still inside of me.
He lifts his eyes to meet mine with confusion, but a small smile on his lips. “What is so funny?”
I’m still laughing as I lift one hand over my eyes. “Nothing. It was just really fucking good.”
He laughs at that, pulling out of me and rolling to his side next to me, wiping a tear that slides down my eye from my laughter. “Yeah. It really was.”
I gain control and drop my arm, rolling to my side to look at him. “So, are you going to call your mom?”
He shakes his head, laughing at me. “You’re fucking sick, you know that? I definitely don’t want to talk about my mom with my cum still between your legs.”
I laugh again and swat at him for that oddly disturbing and hot image as he pulls me to him using one arm. “Why not?”
He shakes his head at me, and l laugh. I realize I’m having more fun, lying in bed with him, than I’ve had my entire life.
And that thought is fucking terrifying.
“So, do you have any plans? Or just flipping through channels and getting shit-faced for the rest of your life?”
Brandon takes a seat next to me on the couch in his living room, and I groan, putting the remote down. “Jesus, Dad. I’m just taking a moment to see what’s new with the world.”
He rolls his eyes, looking at the TV that’s currently on some old football game and turns it off. “I’m serious.”
“Have I worn out my welcome?”
He smirks. “You were never welcome in the first place.”
He’s fucking with me. He doesn’t seem to be in that shitty of a mood today. “Look, if it’s a problem, me being here, I can leave. Go stay in a hotel or something.” I’m not quite ready to leave Manhattan yet.
“That’s not what I mean. You can stay here. But don’t you want to do something else with your life?”
“Christ, who the fuck are you?”
“I would say I’m the only friend you’ve ever had. I’m trying to help you. You came here for a reason.”
“Not for you to be on my ass. I was bored.”
“Right.”
It irks me that he doesn’t believe me, but I won’t let him see it. “I have to go back to Kansas City sometime anyway.”
“Why?”
“My mom called. She wants a visit.”
He runs his hands through his hair, looking slightly nervous for me. “Shit. That’s not good.”
“It is what it is, probably the same bullshit you’re pulling right now.”
He doesn’t know much about my family, but he knows my hatred for my mother. “I actually give a damn.”
I’m guessing Gabby didn’t tell him what I said to her about Michael being a trigger for him because he never said a word about it. Gabby has stayed far away from me though, and I’ve given her space.
Mostly because of Brandon. But I also realize that Elle and she are close, and for whatever reason, I don’t want Elle angry with me either.
Last night at her place is still fucking with me today.
I don’t do foreplay. I don’t. I’m all about me when I fuck, and if the girl gets off, fine. But last night, all I wanted to do was taste her, worship her beautiful body, and get to know every single inch of her. I needed to see her explode with pleasure before I allowed myself to have my own.
That was crazy enough for me, but fucking her bare? Another total first for me. It was always instilled in me by my mother and my father to always use protection, my father telling me when I was twelve that you can’t believe a woman if she tells you she’s on birth control. I can still remember his deep, smooth voice, “You must protect the family name, Blake. Women will try to trap you in any way they can.” That conversation has stuck with me since then.
But last night, I saw the desperate need she had in her eyes, and I felt it too. All I wanted was no barrier between us. She trusted me. I, in turn, trusted her.
And I don’t know what any of that means.
“I don’t have a plan.”
He nods. “Well, now’s the time to figure it out. You’re here for a reason.”
“You’re going to pull some fate bullshit on me?”
He stands up, looking down at me on the couch. “Yup, but you created your own destiny when you decided to come here. So, figure it the fuck out. Decide what you want to do.”
“Timeline for this?”
He shakes his head from side to side. “Nope. No set time. Just start thinking about it. Take college classes. Get a job. Do something.”
I nod my head because I am in his house after all, and I’m not ready to leave.
But the thought of forming an actual plan for my life scares me deep down in my soul, far more than I’ll ever admit out loud.
“Earth to Elle!” Ophelia snaps her fingers in front of my face, and I’m jolted back to reality where I’m at work at the bar.
“What?”
She chuckles. “Is the sex really that good with him?”
“What?” I repeat, because that’s definitely not what we were talking about before I got lost in my thoughts.
“We were talking about a lousy tip, and then you were just in your own little, satisfied world with a goofy grin on your face.”
I wave it off as I clear a table and walk back to the bar. “Yes. It’s that good.”
“That’s fucking awesome.”
Last night is messing with me. It was amazing, but it was . . .
“So, details. Is he secretly a cuddler? Like, a total asshole on the outside, but when you’re alone he holds you close, doesn’t he?”
Yes.
“I wouldn’t call him a cuddler, necessarily.”
She laughs. “Why do you look so pale right now? What’s wrong? Because it sounds like you’ve hit the jackpot.”
I look around the bar. It’s quiet since it’s only two in the afternoon, and Knox is in the storage room doing inventory.
I keep my voice low. “He did something last night . . . in bed.”
She places both elbows on the bar and leans her face on her hands. “Tell me more.”
“It was just . . .”
Her eyes light up. “Butt stuff?”
“What?” I laugh. “No.”
She shrugs. “Okay, so what?”
“He um . . .” Okay, Elle you’re a grown woman, and this is just two women talking about sex. “He went down on me.”
Her lips purse together, and she lifts a curious eyebrow. “And he wasn’t good at it? Because that shit takes practice, I think.”
I shake my head. “No. He was really, really good at it. I think I saw a whole new color when I came, one I didn’t even know existed, he was so fucking good at it.”
She laughs at that, smiling from ear to ear. “Good for him and for you. Why do you look so freaked out?”
“I’ve never let a guy do that to me before.”
She’s trying to stay with me here. I can see it as she nods her head as she listens. “Okay.”
“So, it was just . . . really intimate.”
“I think sex is supposed to be.”
I shake my head and pace the small section of the bar that we have to ourselves. “No, not with me it’s not. It’s quick and dirty, and that’s the way I like it.”
“So, you didn’t like him going down?”
“Of course, I did!”
She laughs and shakes her head at me, not as irritated with me as she should be for how irrational I’m being. “Okay, so have quick and dirty, and have sexy and intimate. Have it all, girl.”
I sit down on the bar stool at the end of the bar, placing my head in my hands. “I think it’s getting more serious than I intended.”
She walks to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Yeah. That happens sometimes.”
I should be more terrified than I am. But really, I’m just counting down the minutes until I see Blake again.
He’s spoiled and entitled, a total asshole, but he also has a really good side to him that I enjoy. I want to know everything about him, and I want to lay with him in silence, just listening to his heartbeat.
“I have to tell Gabby.”
Her hand falls off my shoulder as she stares at me in shock. “You haven’t told her yet?”
“She hates him, Ophelia. She won’t understand. And I’ve hidden this from her for months now.”
“You need to tell her. You guys have been friends for four years. You can’t do that.”
I groan and lay my head down on the bar, knowing that she’s right.
But I also know this isn’t going to go well at all.
Her naked body lays on top of me, hands in my hair as her head lays on my shoulder. It’s morning. I stayed over, and we aren’t fucking, we’re just laying here, blissfully alone with each other. I listen to her breathe as she strokes my hair and I look at her smiling face.
“I need a haircut.”
“Don’t you dare. I like it like this.”
I smile, oddly okay with her calling the shots. “I went to speak with Admissions yesterday.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. Just to explore my options.”
She looks happy at that thought. “You’re thinking about going to school here?”
“Possibly, I’m not sure. But I guess it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Give me something to do.”
Her smile is bright but subtle as she tucks her head into my neck, leaving a kiss there. “I think that’s great.”
It might not be so bad. I don’t have high expectations, but it might be nice to think about the future for once.
“I think I need to tell Gabby about us.”
My body stiffens at the mention of her best friend, and I think she feels it. Her head lifts to meet my eyes as she takes a deep breath.
“I don’t like keeping this secret from her anymore.”
Say something. Her wanting to tell Gabby is another big step. It means there’s something to tell. Her gray eyes study me. She wants validation that this is the right move. Say anything. “If that’s what you want. I never told you to keep it from her.”
Nope not that. Why did I say that?
She swallows and nods her head slowly, brushing her hair out of her face. “I know, that was all me.”
Fix it, fucker. I hate the way I’ve made her beautiful face fill with disappointment. I move one hand to cup her chin, lifting it. “I’m glad you’re telling her.”
One eyebrow lifts with guarded caution. “Yeah?”
I want to say so much. Tell her I’m severely fucked-up. Tell her I trust her more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in my life, and that scares the hell out of me. That she’s all I think about, and she makes me want to do better. But I don’t. I’m locked in some sort of bullshit fear I’m not used to.
I’m used to fearing nothing. But with her, I fear everything.
“Yeah. If you want to.”
She doesn’t seem as irritated with me as she should be when she stands, her perfect naked body a beautiful distraction. She holds her hand out for me, and I take it gladly. “Let’s shower.”
That, I’m definitely up for, but my head is swimming, my body craving something even Elle can’t provide. “I’ll be right in.”
She shrugs, walking toward her bathroom and tossing a sexy look over her bare shoulder. “I’ll start without ya.”
My throat goes dry as she opens the bathroom door and disappears inside, leaving the door open. I grab my jacket off the floor, trying to ignore the dull ache in my head, deciding the whiskey from my flask is probably the quickest option so I don’t miss much. I take a few swigs from the flask as I sit on the edge of the bed and let the liquid take over.
I take one more and then place the flask back in my jacket, stalking toward the bathroom. When I walk inside, it’s full of steam, the clear shower curtain with some sort of flowery print doesn’t hide Elle as she stands under the spray of hot water cascading over her face and naked tits.
I grab the mouthwash she has sitting on the counter, swishing it, and then spit it in the sink before climbing in behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her body to mine.
“I like you naked.” My lips caress her ear. “Did you start without me?”
Her hand smooths over my own, taking control and moving our hands down together between her legs and over her clit. “You’re just in time.”
Our fingers slide down her slit, soaking them with arousal and the water trickling down as I spin her body around to face me, my hands gripping the side of her face. Why doesn’t she care that I’m a total train wreck?
Again, I struggle with words, her beauty is unmatched in every way as she shakes her head, leaning in and smashing her lips against mine. Can she read my mind?
Her back is against the white shower wall as I push inside her, unable to wait any longer.
So, we can’t talk with words. Fine. I’ve never been much of a talker. Her arm wraps around my neck, her hand grabbing my hair as my cock thrusts inside of her, relishing every single bare stroke inside her.
Her soft moans speak volumes as she pulls away from my mouth long enough to speak. “Let’s go to the Student Union after this.”
What the fuck? That was random. “What?”
One of my hands braces us against the shower wall as the other holds her hip. She laughs, nipping at my jaw as the water pours over us both. “I’m excited about the possibility of you coming here. Let me show you around.”
I stop for only a moment, my eyes meeting hers as she sweeps her wet hair out of her eyes. “Okay.”
She smiles as her mouth hovers over mine. “Now fuck me good.”
A smirk slides over my face as my hand grips her ass and I thrust deep inside of her, making both of us groan. “Now that, I can do.”
Her lips press against mine. “Oh, I know.”
Her kiss is intense, somehow telling me things I never even knew I needed to hear. I’ve been dead inside for so long, I didn’t know I was a walking zombie until Elle.
Her kiss a wakeup call, her body and soul the antidote to be an unfeeling prick.
But honestly, in the back of my mind, I wonder how long this can really last.
No doubt, it’s all only a temporary fix.
“I’ll see you later.” Blake holds my face in his large hands as he gives me a kiss goodbye. I can’t stop the goofy smile as we part, my hand clinging to his, but as we walk in opposite directions, they slowly come apart.
I turn away from him but not wanting to and force myself to walk up the stairs to my apartment. I have a shift at the bar in an hour so I should probably get ready.
Our walk to the Student Union was a lot of fun though, and I got to show him around campus a bit.
I nearly tumble down the stairs when I reach the top and see Gabby standing there at my door.
“Gabby? What are you doing here?”
She looks guarded and cautious, which is so not my best friend. “Where were you?”
Something is off. Did she see Blake downstairs? No. She couldn’t have. There’s no clear view from my door. “At the Union. Why?”
She folds her arms, her pretty eyes looking full of suspicion and maybe anger. “With Blake?”
Shit. “Gabs . . .”
“No. Please don’t lie to me anymore. I saw you.”
“At the Union? When?”
This is so not good. I can feel her anger, and Gabby is one of the most level-headed people I know. “About an hour ago. At first, I thought maybe, for whatever reason, you just ran into each other, but then I saw his hand on your ass.” Shit. “And then you kissed him, like a real kiss. And you guys were all over each other.”
Fuck. “Gabs.” I take another step closer to her. “I can explain.”
She drops her arms to her side. “Explain what? Are you sleeping with him?”
“Yes.”
The look of shock on her face makes me sick to my stomach. This is my best friend in the whole world, really the only close friend I’ve ever had. I should have told her right away. “For how long?”
“Let’s go inside.” I start to unlock my door, but she steps back, shaking her head.
“No. Just tell me.”
“A few months.”
Her jaw drops, and she uses one hand to cover her stomach. “What? He’s only been here for a few months.”
“It was supposed to be just a stupid, one-time hookup.”
“How many times has it happened?”
“Ummm . . .” I have no idea. “I didn’t keep count.”
