A Shield of Fate and Ruin (Apollo Ascending Book 3), page 6
“You’d let me?”
“Epiphany, this isn’t about me allowing you to go on some journey with friends like last year. This is a job—and an important one at that. I need someone to connect with the leaders and convey the seriousness of how we are handling this war.”
I straightened my shoulders. “Yes, I can do that. I promise you, Father.” Wanting to be near Valerian and Temi aside, my heart warmed at the idea of Father offering me a job, something useful I could do to help our family and kingdom. “I would take the role seriously.”
Father considered me for a moment and then nodded, his crown glimmering with the motion. “Very well. I believe you can, but know there will be challenges.”
“I can face challenges.”
“One of them…” He ducked as two birds soared above us before clattering into the shrubbery. “Is that Lord Galeson of Segion will probably travel to Odilla.”
I froze. Gale. I had continued writing to him since Father asked me to keep the connection. And that alone made me feel sick to my stomach. I was in love with Valerian. And, further, Galeson was kind; he didn’t deserve me manipulating him. Sending him letters was one thing, but spending time with him—especially since Valerian would be outside the city in the camp—felt like actual betrayal.
“I know that makes you uncomfortable, Pip. But it’s part of political maneuvering. And if you plan to travel to Odilla, it’s the kind of thing you will have to be prepared to do.”
I spread my fingers out over the silk of my skirt. Birds chattered and squalled and wind scattered spruce-green leaves against the windows. The world just kept moving forward. I could stay here at the palace, write to Valerian and Temi, pray for their protection.
Or I could do something that might actually make a difference.
“I’ll go. I can manage it.”
“Good. I’ll have reports made for you. You can review it on the trip. They plan to leave tomorrow morning.”
“Right. Okay.”
He handed the Hyacinth flower back to me, brushing his fingers over its form once more before releasing it. “Some advice?”
I nodded.
“You may find yourself in positions where you have to decide the best of two hard decisions. Not everything works out perfectly all the time. But when you’re pushed to choose, and you wish you had me to discuss it with, make the best decision you can and have faith.”
“And if I make the wrong one?”
He smiled. “My love, I’ve lived with that concern in the back of my mind my entire life. But you can’t let it overwhelm you. Not every choice you make will be ideal, but know that if you’ve thought through it carefully, you have my blessing for whatever course you take.”
The weight of what all he tasked me with settled like a second skin. I’d never felt the pressure of leadership that Hyacinth and Emrin had. Suddenly it draped over me and I wasn’t certain if I was worthy. But I’d had the same education as my brothers, the same parents and raising. I had skirted a lot of my lessons, but I still knew the ins and outs of running the country, the basics of our political connections, the ideas behind this war. I raised my chin. “I will make you proud, Father.”
“Oh, Pip.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You already do, just by being you.”
I clasped my fingers over his before rising and walking back through the atrium and outside where I lifted my face to the skies to see if the weather would change rapidly or not. Father’s faith soared through me. As I stepped into the stables, my mind solidified. I would do this role as well as either of my brothers. I would honor our family and help our country.
The barn, where the sweet scent of fresh hay filled the air, stretched empty, and I continued walking through the back and into the pastures. Military leaders stood scattered among stablemen who had hundreds of horses lined up. Several men in their navy uniforms, gold sashes over their shoulders, sat on horseback and trotted around the pasture, bows in hand, pouches of arrows banging against their horses’ flanks as they galloped.
Only one rider lacked a uniform—Temi. She’d tied her braids into a bun and her expression remained focused as she whipped arrows out that flew across the field, pop, pop, popping into targets.
Valerian followed behind her. The muscles of his thighs tensed to grip his horse as he pulled the bow taut, the firm lines of his arm glistening with sweat. He loosed an arrow, and it soared, smacking into a target beside one of Temi’s. They exchanged a grin as they steered their horses to the back of the line.
Valerian brushed his gloved hand through his dark hair, and my stomach warmed. Gods, he was gorgeous. And I spent my nights with those legs wrapped around me, those fingers tangled in my curls.
It was at that moment that his emerald eyes swept the field and landed on me. For just a second—half a heartbeat—he offered me a private smile, full of promises for later and desires of his own. I dropped my face as heat flared over my cheeks.
So it wasn’t a good time to talk with Temi and Val. I’d have to find them after they finished. My heart raced at the idea of what Valerian might have on his mind for later. But then I remembered what I had to tell him. Part of my job would involve interacting with Galeson while he and Temi faced a war.
8
Artemis
Hundreds of horses stretched out in the field outside the capital of Niria, each holding navy-uniformed men. Thousands of foot soldiers lined up, prepared to march and groups organized in neat rectangles filled the surrounding land.
The horses tossed their heads and flicked their tails to ward off flies. The smell of grass and animal and manure filled the air in equal portions, and I scratched my fingers into Arion’s mane. His aqua body glimmered in the sunshine that pierced through the clouds. It was one sign he wasn’t a normal creature, as if his impressive height and seaweed-like hair wouldn’t give that away on its own.
Valerian and Pip stood by me, lost in a quiet conversation of their own. They didn’t touch each other, but the way they leaned in, the whispers they exchanged, the looks they gave each other, it had to be glaringly obvious that their relationship was more than platonic.
Apollo and Hyacinth’s carriage trundled through the masses, a standard human wagon that wouldn’t draw excess attention. Hyacinth pulled the reins, and they both hopped down. Cyn patted his horse’s side before striding over. Epiphany and Valerian both raised their faces towards them.
I crossed my arms as they walked up. “The weather has been strange again, Apollo.”
Apollo shot Hyacinth a look, and Cyn’s cheeks turned a deep crimson.
“Look,” I said. “We’re all really happy you’re back, Hyacinth, and that you’re reunited. But we’re about to move an army, and bad weather will only make that more difficult, so if you two could get your shit together, that would be great.”
“Temi,” Apollo said, grinning and then pulling me into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.”
I sighed but patted his back. “Of course.”
“You have the Hyacinth bloom on you?”
I pulled the strap of leather around my neck up, slipping the key Hecate had given me and the glass pendant I’d added to it out from under my tunic. Encased within it, the flower bud rested.
Apollo gaped. “You’re going to wear a glass necklace to war?”
“Yup.”
“Don’t you think it might get broken?”
I smirked and crossed my arms. “Is that a challenge?”
Behind us, Hyacinth and Epiphany hugged, Cyn whispering his goodbyes to her as the wind brushed strands of her hair out over her cheeks.
“No challenge,” Apollo said. “Be safe.”
“What’s the worst that can happen? Only Zeus can kill me, right? And you’re going to be pissing him off, not me.” I blew out a breath. “How about you focus on keeping yourself and Hyacinth alive for me?”
Apollo cringed, his fears rising to the surface and adding a shimmer to his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Hey.” I gripped his arm. “It’ll be okay.” I chuckled. “Do you know a few gods now call us the twin deities of the sun and the moon?”
His expression eased. “Do they?”
Arion whickered, and I patted his neck. “Yup. That’s too good to be wasted on you dying anytime soon. I don’t think the Fates will allow it.”
Apollo laughed, but then he looked back over his shoulder at where Hyacinth helped Epiphany onto her horse. And then our eyes met again. He winced. Because my joking and our prophecies aside, Hyacinth wasn’t included in that. And with him transferring his divinity to Apollo, he’d make himself as vulnerable as a mortal.
I wanted to spin a false truth to comfort him. But for all the shit we gave each other, lying wasn’t something we did. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Temi. Fates willing, I’ll see you in a few months.”
Uneasiness settled in me. Apollo’s plan was for Hyacinth to shield him, rendering them both veiled and essentially mortal. They wouldn’t be able to travel instantly or tap into their powers. But they also shouldn’t attract divine attention. They had a carriage to visit the Fates so they could use the travel time to let Hyacinth practice his powers. Hopefully, they’d have a good handle on things before they made it to Zeus’ territory. And worrying about it didn’t change anything. They’d be fine. “Say hello to Hecate for me if you meet her in the underworld?”
Apollo groaned. Delon and Len rode up on their horses and Delon jumped down. He grabbed Apollo’s arm and patted his back. “I heard you’re skirting war duty?”
Hyacinth strode over, greeting them both, but Apollo frowned. “I didn’t know you were going.”
“Ack.” Delon jerked his jaw towards Len. “The joy of being the eldest son of a high lord, but with younger brothers to spare. Don’t worry.” He waggled his eyebrows. “They’ll keep us at the back. We’re there for fake glory for our family’s names. It’s all posturing and crap. It’s unlikely we’ll even get our uniforms dirty. Right, Len?”
Len shrugged, but Apollo’s brow furrowed. “Just don’t go getting yourself killed. You owe me money.”
Delon’s mouth gaped. “Bullshit.”
“We’ll suss out the details when we get back.” Apollo scratched his jaw, a twinkle in his eye. “Until then, don’t do anything too dangerous.”
Delon scoffed but clapped his hand again. “Same to you both.” He nodded to Hyacinth.
Once the goodbyes ceased, Asher gave the signal for those mounted on horses to leave. Foot soldiers would march behind, but the priority was getting forces to the border as quickly as possible. Epiphany trotted up beside me, her expression pensive, matching the dark clouds that rolled across the sky like layers of frosting.
“Are you worried?”
She shifted towards me, her posture dropping. “Yes, about you. And Val. I’ll miss you both terribly, but I’ll worry about you twice as much as that.” Her lips pinched. “And our brothers, as well.”
That was probably the place where I was supposed to say something pithy about how worry wouldn’t solve anything, but I felt the same nervous energy. Doubt over whether we’d see both our brothers alive again clung to me. I swallowed that back. I had to have faith and play my role. “Hopefully they make good time.”
“How long might it take us?”
“Three days if we keep a steady pace.”
She nodded and her gaze drifted to the mountains in the distance, their lilac forms shrouded in fog. “Once we get to the city, we’ll probably both be too busy to worry excessively.”
I sighed and shifted Arion’s reins, giving him more freedom. He was smart and trustworthy; he’d stay with the group. “I hope that’s so.” I scrunched my fingers into Arion’s mane as the thunder of thousands of horse's hooves echoed around.
9
Apollo
Hyacinth had remained quiet in the week since we’d separated from the troops, his expression dark. A misting rain, scarcely heavy enough to do more than pepper our skin and send a chill over my flesh, fell, insulating us against the noises of the world. I kept my gaze out ahead. We traveled to the underworld—where the Fates met gods for audiences—and had done so with horses so Hyacinth could practice shielding me during the journey.
It proved to be unnecessary. Temi had explained the concept. And after a few fumbled efforts, he’d achieved it perfectly the first day. We had tried different lengths of times and even overnight, but so far, if he shifted his divinity towards me, it remained solid.
We both hated it, though. He longed for his magic, and I wanted to peel my skin off for the eerie feeling it produced. So, for the time being, we’d quit practicing and ambled along in silence, me wearing a veil to evade suspicion if we ran across anyone, especially soldiers. I swept my gaze out over the world for any movement.
But we neared the entrance to the underworld which most mortals avoided.
Because most mortals were smart.
Unlike us.
“There’s something we haven’t discussed yet,” Hyacinth said.
I dropped my hand to his leg. “What is it?”
“Zephyrus.”
My fingers flexed, and I took a deep breath to uncurl them. My voice lowered until it grew dark and laced with fury. “I looked for him, you know.”
Hyacinth shifted towards me. “Did you?”
“Yes, after your…” My nose flared, and I gulped in air. “After you died. I spent a week scraping over this continent for him. The fucking coward is in hiding.”
“With the look on your face currently,” Hyacinth said, humor filling his voice, “he’s right to be.”
“How can you even joke about it?”
He sighed. “I don’t know.” He released one hand from the reins and grazed his fingers over the rise and fall of my knuckles. “I want to think we’re both better than him.”
I clenched my jaw hard enough that it hurt. “Are you afraid that, deep down, I’m not?”
I had always worried that Cyn would see the darkness within me, the mistakes, my heritage and know that I wasn’t worthy of him.
He smiled. “No, he’s not even on the same level as you, golden boy.” The nickname warmed me, washing away lingering insecurities.
“If he ever comes around again, you may change your mind.”
“Apollo.” He pulled the horses to a stall and dropped the reins, turning to face me. “You’re too good”—he pressed his hand over my chest, just where my heart pounded—“to allow vengeance to define you.”
I shifted my knapsack over with my feet and fiddled with the straps. “You see good in me, I don’t.”
“Then that can be my role.” He leaned in and kissed me gently. “If you’ll be my sun and help me fight the darkness that’s pulling on me, then I’ll be your compass to keep you on track.”
I rubbed my nose along his jaw, my heart racing. “Of course I’ll help you, in any way I’m able.” I swallowed. “Cyn, you mean the world to me. I know you’re struggling, but I’m here with you no matter what. You’ll have to banish me if you don’t want me around anymore. I definitely won’t go anywhere else by choice.”
He nipped the edge of my earlobe and warmth curled through my stomach, replacing the anger Zephyrus’ name had sparked. Hyacinth chuckled but then dropped his face, self-consciousness bleeding into his expression. “There’s something Flora told me last year.”
“Flora?” Pine trees swayed together in a breeze behind him. Zephyrus’ wife was another topic I’d rather not broach. But if it would help pull Hyacinth out of the disquiet he’d been miring in to discuss it, I would do so happily. “What did she say?”
He licked his lips and wiped his palms over his robe. He was nervous, but I didn’t understand why. Did Flora harm him? We’d never discussed his visit to her temple. If she had crossed him in any manner, I would add her to my list alongside her husband.
“She said that marriage between deities is eternally binding.” Hyacinth lifted his face, his hazel eyes piercing in their intensity. “That when gods marry, it’s irreversible and you cannot stand against your spouse. It sets your relationship apart from all others.”
“That’s true.”
His cheeks flared with color, but he cleared his throat. “Would you… would you be willing to do that with me?”
Oh. He wanted to marry me. My heart swelled as though flames curling around the sun swept down and whirled through its chambers. That’s what had him worried? That I might say no? I would have asked him if I hadn’t thought it was too much. I laughed. “Of course. Without hesitating.”
The v-shaped dimple rippled between his eyebrows. “Is it a laughing matter to you? Is the idea of it inconsequential?”
A horse whinnied and tossed her head. I draped my fingers over his jaw. “Oh, Cyn. It’s not that… it’s…” I chuckled again and kissed him before pulling back and resting my forehead against his. “You are my heart and soul. If I act like it’s inconsequential, it’s only because how I feel for you is so much bigger. I would marry you in a heartbeat. I’ll do it right now if you want.”
“Now?” He pulled back from me.
I gave a nod. “It’s a simple blood vow. An easy thing, really. But maybe you’d prefer to wait until we could have a ceremony.”
He ducked his head again. The wind whipped his clothing around, feathering the silk along his form. He’d chosen a demure navy robe for our trip, unlike his treasured colorful ones. But he was still the most beautiful being I’d ever laid eyes upon. “I would… I would like that,” he whispered. “I’m sure my father will want to throw us a grand ceremony and… I want to have one. But we could do that later, even if we married now, couldn’t we?”
