A Shield of Fate and Ruin (Apollo Ascending Book 3), page 5
Joden squinted, his lips pursed. “Should we close the city’s walls, Your Highness?”
King Magnes shifted towards Emrin. The briefest expression of panic flashed over Emrin’s face before he straightened and clasped his hands together above the table. “The mountain ranges protect our populations in the North. It’s the Southern portion of our country that’s exposed. I think”—he looked to his father who gave him an encouraging nod—“we close the walls of all cities in the south and evacuate any residents outside the wall who live near the boundary.”
Joden’s forehead furrowed, and he wrote out the king’s decrees, handing it to an attendant who stepped out of the room. “Regarding our allies, Your Highness?”
The king nodded. “I want our fastest couriers sent within the hour to them.”
Asher scratched down a few hasty sentences. “I had information prepared to share at this meeting as well. It may be even more relevant now.”
Magnes steepled his fingers together. “Yes?”
“The soldiers we’ve had gathering intelligence have noticed unusual movement from large groups of armed men this week.”
“From where?”
“The west, Your Highness.”
The king twisted a ring on his finger. “From Ansair’s direction, then?”
“That’s the concern.”
Magnes paused for another moment, every person in the room looking at him, waiting for his decision. He lifted his face. “We prepare our army and position them outside of the city of Odilla. That will give us the ability to move east towards the coast if needed, or west to hold our border against Ansair if that becomes an issue. The mountains protect much of our borders, but Joden,”—the advisor’s eyebrows raised as the king addressed him—“would you travel to Dorian to reinforce that connection and let them know we can have soldiers at their disposal if required?”
“Of course, Your Highness.” Joden gathered documents from the table and bowed before exiting the room.
A man with ruddy hair cleared his throat. “When do you wish for our troops to leave, Your Highness?”
“As soon as possible.”
The advisors scribbled more things down, their furrowed brows reflecting on the shining surface of the table.
I spoke up. “I would like to join the army, Your Highness, wherever I would be most useful.”
King Magnes frowned at me.
“As neither myself nor my mount can be killed, I’m an excellent shot, and I am connected with several deities, I feel my presence would be helpful.”
Emrin stared at me, and I couldn’t name what his expression might mean—anger, confusion, worry? Magnes bobbed his head. “Very well. You may go with Asher’s troops.”
Asher took in a breath that raised his shoulders, his eyes darting to me before he shifted back to the king. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
And the men rose and left the room, but the charged energy, the tension of everything about to happen, lingered.
6
Valerian
I knocked at the king’s sitting-room door, my head bowed. I chewed the inside of my cheek as palace attendants passed by, giving me odd looks.
“Come in,” he said. I opened the door and shut it behind me.
He sat in a chair, a thick bundle of parchments on his lap. A half-filled glass in his hand reflected light in ringlets on the carpet. He looked up. “Ah, Valerian, please have a seat.”
I took the seat he gestured to, my posture staying upright, ready to jump from the spot in an instance if need be. “Thank you for making the time to see me, Your Highness.”
He chuckled before taking a swallow of his drink. “I believe titles—in private, at least—are unnecessary between us, all things considered.”
“Yes, Your High—” I was unsure of what exactly to call him.
The king studied me. “Did you come to speak with me about Epiphany?”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I ducked my head again. Spending the nights with her was one thing, looking her father in the eyes and him knowing it, another. “No… sir. I came to speak to you as the king, actually.”
He set the glass down with a clink. “Oh?”
“I hear the army plans to move in two days’ time.”
“That’s true. I hope you don’t mean to tell me you wish to enlist. I would have to approach that as Epiphany’s father, rather than as the king.”
“Not… exactly.” I blew out a shaky breath. “There will be horses marching with the troops. You’ll need a head horseman to care for them.” The king’s lips pursed, but I rolled my shoulders back and continued while I could still speak. “I want to ask for you to assign that position to me. It shouldn’t be excessively dangerous, but it would be an opportunity for me to serve my country honorably. I…” My heart raced, but I forced the words forth. “I have excellent references, Your Highness and—”
“All right.” He raised his hands. “Take a breath, son. I hear you, and your reputation precedes you. If it’s a role you want, I will recommend you for the position.”
I released my clenched hand, color flooding back into the knuckles. “Thank you.”
“But, one thing.”
“Yes… sir?”
“I expect you to tell Epiphany straight away.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t keep secrets from her.”
He gave me a warm look, bobbing his head. “Anything else?”
“No, thank you for your time.” I rose and bowed before retreating out of the room. Telling Epiphany would be hard. She wouldn’t welcome the news, but I thought she would understand. However, there was someone I would tell first who would like it even less. That bored into my mind as I walked downstairs and along the servants’ passages until I reached the kitchen.
Mother swiped a cloth over the worn surface of a worktable, the room resting in shadows, the orange flicker of an oil lamp undulated around the ceiling. She raised her face. “Valerian. I didn’t expect you tonight.”
I cleared my throat and walked up to the table, pressing my hands against it. “I was hoping I could speak with you alone for a few minutes.”
Her eyebrow cocked up as she continued swiping the rag over lingering crumbs. “About what? I’m assuming you aren’t here for my advice, as you won’t take any of it.”
My shoulders rose with a sigh, but I clamped my jaw and refused to release it. “I respect your opinions, but I have to make my own path.” All my life I’d wanted more than what my birthright offered me. Mother saw my attitude as unappreciative and reaching, but I burned with a desire to prove myself. I was willing to work hard, to do things well. And I wanted a chance to do so in service to our country so I could work for something bigger than myself. I’d always longed for a chance to be useful, and this was my opportunity.
She frowned and wrung the cloth out before tossing into a basket on the floor and crossing her arms. “What is it then?”
“I spoke with the king today.” Her frown deepened. “And requested to be the stableman in charge of the horses for the army.”
Her expression washed away, her tan skin losing its color. “You did what?”
Of course, she would disapprove. Ever since Epiphany and I had come together, no choice I made pleased her. “It’s a role I can serve honorably in.”
She walked around the edge of the table, her dark eyes growing large. “Are you going to get yourself killed to prove yourself to the king, Valerian?”
A sigh slipped out of my lips, and I scratched my forehead. “This has nothing to do with Epiphany. I would make this same decision if we weren’t involved.”
Branches clattered against a window, rain pouring suddenly. The weather had been strange all day. “Every decision you’ve made has been foolhardy since you and the princess…” She placed her hand in front of me as though she couldn’t bear to acknowledge our relationship. “And that isn’t like you.”
“Please, can we not do this again?”
She clicked her tongue and waved me off. “You’ve overstepped your place, Val. I’m sorry that I allowed the king to educate you as if you were a high lord’s son. That was a mistake on my part. I was young and foolish and hoped your father would claim you. But it’s done nothing but confuse you. It’s made you feel like you belong in that world, but you don’t.” She frowned. “You’re the bastard child of a kitchen attendant, and you need to remember that.”
I gasped. “Mother.”
“Don’t ‘mother’ me.” She stepped in and touched my arm, her fingers grazing my sleeve tenderly. “I know that’s a hard truth, but it’s a fact. And what will happen to you when Epiphany is done with this?”
“You don’t understand our relationship.”
“Maybe I do understand. Have you considered that?” I took a step back, regretting coming to speak with her. Voices echoed outside the door, and she remained quiet for a moment. “You don’t think I know how it feels to be young and in love, to imagine a better life for myself? I’ve lived this, Valerian. That’s why it worries me for you. You’re stirring up coals that will catch you on fire one of these days.”
Frustration crawled over me. “You bounced back. You didn’t let your hardships hold you down.”
“I’m a kitchen attendant.” She spat the words out. “I work a hot, laborious, exhausting job from sunrise to sunset every single day. I was a lady’s maid before I believed the promises your father told me. And that’s not on you. Those are my choices. But I can’t stand to watch you make the same mistakes as me.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but Epiphany and I have loved each other for years. We grew up together. Our relationship is…” I wanted to explain to her. I once agreed with her, but I was in love with Epiphany, and she felt the same for me. Maybe I was stirring up trouble, but Pip was worth it. Mother couldn’t understand, though. Her own past hurts blinded her.
“It’s whispered around the kitchen,” she said, “that Epiphany will be betrothed to Lord Galeson of Segion within the year.”
I frowned. “That’s a ruse she’s having to keep up for the time being.”
“A ruse?” She pulled the scarf out of her hair, her dark locks hitting her shoulders. “And what happens when they need that marriage to go through for political reasons?”
My heart ached, and fury coursed through me. I hated Galeson, not that he’d ever done a thing to deserve it. But I had nothing to say back to that. I feared it myself. “I’ll deal with that if it comes.”
“When something like that comes, and you’re left with a ruined reputation, what will you do? The princess is treating you like a consort. It’s”—she gave her head a toss—“outrageous.”
“I wish you could see Epiphany past her position. You’d like her if you’d do that.”
“She is her position. That’s what you don’t see.”
“I’m sorry we can’t agree on this.” I turned towards the door. “But I wanted to stop by and let you know my decision.”
“Valerian.”
I paused.
“Don’t get yourself killed. I love you. Even if you don’t believe that all the time.”
I pressed my hand against the molding and clenched my fingers into it. “I love you too.”
And I did.
I just wished she would give me the benefit of the doubt, see the best in me, and not constantly tear everything down.
A headache threatened in my temple, and my body weighed down with the conversation as I zigzagged through the servants’ halls and found a door out to the gardens. I stood under the eave, watching as the rain hushed over the yard before coming to a sudden stop. I gave my head a shake and jogged across the lawn before it might start back, my footsteps sloshing in the grass.
The moon rose in the sky. I’d had to finish my work and bathe before seeing the king, and already the day dipped into night. Rain picked up again right as I made it to the apartments and I gave my hands a fling, thrusting off droplets before stomping up the stairs and unlocking my apartment.
As I latched the door back, someone slipped their arms around my waist. I tensed before touching her hands, the softness and form of them so familiar they felt like an extension of my body. I turned and pulled Epiphany into my embrace, breathing in the sweet scent of her curls. “You startled me.”
“Do you mind that I let myself in?”
I drew back and kissed her. “No. That’s why I gave you a key. Here, let me get out of these wet clothes.” She smirked and dropped against the bed, resting her arms behind her, her eyes trailing over me with hunger in them.
My body came alive at the heat in her gaze, but I swallowed and turned around, peeling the damp jacket and tunic off. “I spoke with your father about something.”
“Oh?” Her voice shifted from low and husky to a higher pitch, an uneasiness slinking into it.
I yanked my boots off, lining them by my dresser before turning back towards her. “I asked him to grant me the position of head horseman with the army.”
Her eyes widened, her lips pursing. “Oh,” she whispered.
I sat beside her, our shoulders brushing. “I need to do this, Pip. It’s important to me… to serve our country.”
She nodded. “Won’t it be dangerous?”
“No. Not terribly. I won’t be fighting. I don’t think your father would have given me permission for that.”
Her expression broke. “Why?”
I grinned and brushed my hand over her cheek. “Because it would make you unhappy.”
She clicked her tongue but then drew me against her so that her heartbeat pounded alongside mine. “I want to argue with you about this choice, but I know the feeling of having to do what you think is right.” She sighed, but her mouth found my lips, her hands trailing the bare flesh of my back. She pulled away and grazed her fingers over my jaw. “Promise me you won’t do anything dangerous?”
“Pip, I’ll still be mucking stalls and managing horses. Just not here.”
“Not here,” she echoed, sadness weaving into her voice. I opened my mouth to speak again, but her lips covered mine and silenced me. She pushed me down onto the bed and for an hour we forgot about Niria, our parents, war, and words that were hard to form, getting lost in each other instead.
7
Epiphany
I wandered into the palace atrium, the warmth of it sweeping over me, my heart so heavy it felt like it had settled in my toes. The glass-topped ceiling allowed the sunshine to wash through the space, lighting up all the bushes and plants, gleaming through the crimson feathers of birds as they soared above.
Rain began splattering against the panes. When I’d been outside earlier, there hadn’t been a cloud in the sky. The weather acted strangely again, the way it had after Hyacinth had died. I shivered at that thought as I took a winding path that curved around to where gardeners were planting Hyacinth flowers, their spades scooping up ebony soil. The pastel colors of the blooms feathered together, and I paused, gesturing to them. “May I have one?”
“Of course, Princess.” The gardener selected a blush-pink one that matched my dress, his deeply wrinkled hands pulling the bloom up gently.
“Thank you.” I accepted it and dipped my head to him before continuing on.
I’d barely had time to consider Hyacinth’s return—or his death, for that matter. I’d woken this morning with a deep sorrow over his loss pressing into my bones before remembering he was alive. And then Valerian’s plans he’d shared with me came back into my mind. A new grief. I’d considered asking him to stay for my sake. I believed he would. But I couldn’t ask him to give up doing something meaningful. It was a desire I had myself, after all. I gave my head a shake, my curls tumbling against my shoulders.
I turned down another path and found Father where he sat tucked beneath the boughs of a petite tree, a fountain trickling between us. He bowed over a piece of parchment, rolling a reed between his fingers.
I stepped over and lowered onto the seat beside him. “Father.”
He sighed but dropped the paper into a stack. “Epiphany.”
“This seems a strange place to get work done.”
He smiled, his eyes holding a sparkle to them for the first time in months. “Yet you knew just where to look for me.” He leaned back against the bench, raising his face to the sun that still slipped through clouds as rain pattered against the glass, creating a hushing lullaby that overplayed the crying of birds in the atrium. “I’m avoiding advisors and others who keep coming into my office. I can’t focus with the constant interruptions.”
I tangled my fingers in my lap. “And so I come in here doing the same.”
Father lifted his palm to my cheek. “You are never an interruption.” He patted my face gently before pulling his hand back. “And I already know why you’re in here.”
My lips parted, and then I pressed them together. “You do?”
He chuckled, taking the Hyacinth flower from my fingers and brushing his thumb over the petals. “Your closest friend and the man you’re in love with both told me yesterday that they plan to leave with the troops. And now you’re seeking me out.” He tucked a curl behind my ear. “It wouldn’t take much to figure out what you seek. But the answer is no.”
“But, Father—”
He raised his hand to stall me, his rings glimmering in the light. “You will not join the army. That’s not even on the table for consideration. However,”—his silver eyebrows lifted—“I have a task I wish to ask of you.”
Tears bit at my eyes because the idea of Temi and Valerian both leaving to go to war, to face battles, and me staying in the palace killed me. “What is it?”
“Our army plans to make camp just south of Odilla to hold our borders there until we’re certain which side of our country we need to protect.” I nodded. I had visited Odilla—one of the larger cities in Niria, many years before. He continued. “Emrin and I are not prepared to leave yet. We can head that direction in a few weeks, perhaps a month or two at most. In the meantime, I could use a delegate to host dinners for various leaders and high lords who will station themselves in the city.” He paused, the silver in his beard gleaming as the rain stopped and sun flooded through the windows again. “Would you go in our place?”
