A Shield of Fate and Ruin (Apollo Ascending Book 3), page 12
She released a shaky breath and leaned against the bed. And I explored her body, tasted every inch of her skin that I had laid in my tent and fantasized about in the last weeks. And when she whimpered, clenching her teeth to stall the noise, her hair damp and sticking to her collarbone while the rest of her curls fanned out over the pillow, I kissed the inside of her thigh and worked my way back up her body.
She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me hard, guiding our bodies together. I shuddered at the warmth of her, the rightness of being with her, but also the love in her eyes, the desire that swept over her expression. The face she wore only for me. “I love you, Valerian.”
Her breathing grew heavy, and the weeks of separation from her, the pain of seeing her at someone else’s side, the pressures and heartache and loss of the last month built into a crescendo and I finished with a groan, biting down hard to keep my voice low, my forehead resting against her shoulder. “I love you, too,” I whispered into the slick surface of her skin.
We stayed like that for a dozen heartbeats before I lifted my face and she offered me a lingering kiss.
I rolled over and fell, boneless and empty-brained, against the bed. Epiphany curled up against my side and I drew my arms around her. I’d longed to be near her again with every heartbeat since we’d separated, and now we had an entire night together. I pressed my lips to her cheek. “Is it appropriate now to ask how you are?”
She laughed, and the warmth of it wrapped me up, settling in my stomach. But her body hunched into itself, and she tucked into my side like she could take shelter there.
“What is it, Pip?”
“The news from earlier. I’m worried about Cyn… and Apollo. They could have been in the middle of that.”
I pulled her against me, eager to spend a few hours listening to her conversation as I brushed my fingers through her curls. “Yeah, that concerned me, too.” It had sent a skitter of fear down my spine. “But what are the chances they were? We’re probably worrying about nothing.”
16
Apollo
The wave roared as it dragged us under. I gasped, breathing in water and choking. But I was more worried about Hyacinth, whose body had gone limp. I clutched my arms around him and kicked. My throat ached and my lungs burned but I had to get Cyn above the surf. How big was this fucking wave? My lips quivered with the desire to draw in a breath. I didn’t need the air, but the want of it overwhelmed me.
We broke the surface, and I sucked in a breath, saltwater filling my sinuses and burning my nose. Hyacinth’s head lolled against my shoulder.
“Cyn,” I coughed out.
The storm thundered in the distance, the voices of gods and the screaming of the sailors all blending together into a cacophony.
“Hyacinth,” I yelled, forcing my voice out harsh and gravelly.
With his divinity transferred to me, he was as vulnerable as a mortal. And Clothos words screamed through my mind. If he died out here… No…
I pounded his back, my legs aching from fighting the current to keep us both up.
He sputtered up water and drew in a ragged breath.
But his eyes remained closed.
He was alive.
That’s all that mattered.
I could keep us afloat even if I had to swim to the continent. I would wear my body out before I let him drown in this fucking sea.
But gods, if only we had our powers.
Another deity in the battle fell, the wave tumbling forward and rising like a mountain of cerulean.
“Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” I clutched my hands into Cyn’s shoulders and tucked my chin against his neck. His heavy muscles and long limbs dragged against me, pulling us down. But I would keep his head above water if it killed me.
The ocean rose into a towering wave, dragging us up its rise.
I held onto Hyacinth, and for the first time in my life, prayed with sincerity. The salt in the air chapped my damp cheeks, and Hyacinth’s coarse, sopping hair grazed my flesh as I closed my eyes. “Clothos, please. I beg you. I know you’re not a divine who accepts prayers or offerings. But if you have us both live through this, I swear to you, I will play my part. Whatever the cost. Just let Hyacinth survive this. Please.”
When I opened my eyes again, the wave had lifted us dozens of feet in the air. It was probably the closest I’d ever get to flying. The ocean stretched so far beneath us. My vision blurred, and I trembled.
But I had one task.
Keep Hyacinth alive.
The wave crested. And we tumbled back towards the ocean, gliding with the foam. Like sea nymphs cast from paradise.
Nausea swelled in me.
We were falling.
It had always been my fear.
But Hyacinth was there, and he was alive.
His flesh slipped under my water-swollen fingers, and I gripped him tighter. Keep us both above the waves. That’s what I had to focus on.
We hit the ocean hard, and it knocked the air from me, but I pushed Hyacinth up, making sure his mouth and nose didn’t submerge before grasping him again.
I kicked, and my legs hurt from fighting the tumultuous sea. But as I got my grip around Cyn again, his breath came warm against my neck and relief flooded through me.
I just needed to get us away from the war happening in the ocean.
A bolt of lightning struck Poseidon, and he roared, raising his hands, the water swirling like a whirlpool with the motion, dragging gods, humans, and flotsam into it.
Oh shit.
My muscles trembled, exhaustion washing over me.
But I had to fight. I kicked and pulled with every ounce of strength I could manage.
Think of Hyacinth.
Think of keeping him alive.
I pushed harder, salt spray filling my sinuses and burning my eyes, my body growing bone weary. But I wouldn’t stop. I continued navigating us around broken bits of the ship and beyond the fight until the noise and unease of it became a distant call in the background.
When the water stopped yanking me into the melee, my muscles loosened.
Gods, I’d said I’d swim us to the other continent, but I wasn’t sure I could even keep us afloat for much longer. The sky dipped towards navy, night coming. Rain hushed across the world, like a curtain swept back, battering my already throbbing shoulders. Did the weather act strangely because I’d missed pulling the sun down, or because of the gods fighting? I didn’t know.
Hyacinth slipped from my grasp, his head veering with the motion, and I pulled my arms tighter. But he sagged again. Exhaustion pierced my muscles. How would I get us out of this?
The sea rippled in silver and navy. As if it was some sort of peaceful painting and not the bastard that nearly undid us. A dark slash of something broke up the soft undulations of the ocean. I forced my body to push again, to drag us towards it.
When I’d made enough distance, the object came into view. A flat piece of wood that must have broken from our boat bobbed about. I sobbed, my lips trembling. I’d never known salvation could take a physical form, but there it was.
A fresh burst of energy flooded me as I reached the raft. I heaved Cyn’s chest onto it, keeping one of my arms on him, the other gripping the board. My eyes dragged down. But I couldn’t quit yet. I had to stay focused.
I hauled myself over the edge of the raft, shivering and aching as I did so. With my magic swallowed down, my body felt incredibly human and weak. The irony wasn’t lost on me that all my life I’d longed to be mortal and now I wished for my powers more than anything. I grabbed Hyacinth and pulled. He moved a few inches farther onto the raft, but most of his torso remained dangling in the water. Oh shit. How could I get him onto this damn raft without tipping us both over or wearing myself out?
But no.
When he’d died, I’d spent months thinking of all I would have done to save him if I could.
This was that moment.
I could spare him this time.
I gripped my arms under his, my shaking muscles vibrating him. I pulled until my abdomen strained, and heaved with every drop of energy I had, hauling him onto the raft. It wobbled precariously before settling and I fell back, hitting the wood hard.
I reached my palm out over his mouth, where his breath feathered against my skin. He was alive. My hand fell with a thump against the raft that might have hurt if I had enough strength to register the impact.
But I couldn’t go to sleep.
I couldn’t allow that.
I forced myself to stay awake, running my fingers over the straps of my knapsack and counting the bumps of the cord. A day passed as my body screamed at me, crying out for sleep, longing for a reprieve. But I couldn’t get it. Hyacinth could fall off unconscious and drown. I had to keep myself awake.
The weather went on erratically, rain alternating with dry lightning storms. Once a waterspout formed, whirling towards us. Exhaustion had settled so heavily on me, I struggled to turn my head to face it. I blinked twice. “Well, Cyn,” I scratched out, “I guess this is how we go.”
He remained asleep, his long lashes fanned over his cheeks.
Lucky bastard.
The twist of the spout died out before it arrived, and I sputtered a half-hearted sigh.
The next morning the sun dragged itself up the horizon, trembling as if it reached for its magic—the powers I possessed—before washing the world in peach. My eyes stared at the sky, watching it lighten in increments until my head banged against the raft as it struck something.
I swallowed and turned to look.
Land.
We’d hit land.
Oh gods.
I lifted my body, wrecked and shaking and miserable up and onto the shore, grabbing the raft and pulling it up the slippery sand. It gritted as it glided over the dip and onto the flat surface of a beach that stretched empty, surrounded by jungle. As soon as I had Hyacinth secured, I dropped to my knees. I kissed his fingertips and then fell against the beach, sleep swallowing me before I fully hit the ground.
When I woke, the sun beat down, as if it had taken up more than its fair share of the sky. I smacked my mouth against the dryness of it. And then I remembered where I was and what had happened. I jumped up, my body dizzy and sore. Some bird cried in the greenery beyond the shore, but I dropped beside Hyacinth.
“Cyn,” I said, grazing my thumb over his jaw. And then I froze. My color was significantly darker than his, which meant… My gaze skimmed down his form and then I found it, a gash in his side, dripping blood steadily, the raft and sand beneath it coated crimson.
Fuck. He’d lost a lot of blood.
“Hyacinth.” I grabbed his shoulders and gave him a shake.
He moaned, his lips peeling apart. “Apollo?”
I released a shaky breath and kissed his cheek. “Yes, it’s me, love. Listen. You must pull your magic back so that you can heal.”
“I can’t.” He said the words slowly, like they pained him, his dry lips sticking together. “I have to shield Apollo.”
“I’m Apollo. You’re with me. We were in a shipwreck, and you’re hurt.”
“We have to get to Pasus,” he whispered.
I gritted my teeth and gave him a harder shake, causing his eyes to open. They didn’t focus, his pupils dilating and then shrinking again. Shit. “Hyacinth, I need you to concentrate right now.”
“Concentrate. Okay,” he mumbled.
Panic coursed through me as a bird cawed in the distance, some scavenger that feasted on dead things. Oh gods. Terror bubbled up in me. “Listen to me, you motherfucker,” I growled into Hyacinth’s ear. “You are going to pull the magic back and heal yourself or I swear to the gods I will come to the underworld or wherever the hell deities go after death and chew your ass out. I won’t lose you again.”
“Apollo,” he whispered, the sand in his eyelashes glittering in the sunlight. “I can promise you… of everything I’ve done in my life…” He licked his chapped lips, dried blood caking a split section. “I have never once fucked a mother.”
An anxious peel of laughter fluttered out of me, my heart ricocheting through my body. “Oh, you think this is the time for jokes? That’s what you’re thinking right now. You’re fucking bleeding out on some unknown beach and you’re going to tell a joke?”
A corner of his lip turned up, but then he winced, his features scrunching together.
He suffered. He was dying, if I were honest. What mortal could survive his injury? But Hyacinth wasn’t a damn mortal. He was divine now. He needed to pull the powers back. But I didn’t know how I could convince him when he was disoriented. My heart gave a painful lurch as I took him in, lying beneath the sun, bleeding. Gods damn it, I’d been here before.
I covered the uninjured side of his body with mine and brought my mouth to his ear, my voice trembling with tears that wished to fall. “Hyacinth. Please. I’ve done this before. I’ve sat with you broken in my arms and begged you to come back to me.” My nose flared. “And you didn’t then. You left me alone.” The last word came out garbled, and I sniffled. “And it was empty. Please don’t leave me again.”
“If I pull my powers back, a god could detect you.”
“If you die, it will happen anyway. Please, Cyn. You’re confused because of the blood loss, but please, I’m begging you. Take your magic back. Please. Please. Please. Please.”
His hand coursed down my shoulder, and he sighed. “All right, golden boy.”
The magic fizzled over my flesh as it pulled away from me, my powers surging through my veins, burning the hollows of my heart. Hyacinth gasped, his eyes opening again, color flooding his face. I dropped against the sand, my limbs splayed out over the beach. Hyacinth reached out, his grip strong as he squeezed my hand. And I returned the gesture. Gratitude flooded through me as ivory clouds streaked across the blue sky and my magic refueled my energy.
Hyacinth wasn’t wrong.
If there were any nature deities nearby, they could see us.
And report to my father.
But gods, I didn’t care.
The foliage of the jungle trembled, and I sat up. Hyacinth rose as well, his hand wiping away blood that lingered where the gash had been. His flesh stretched healthy and restored along his side. “What is it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe something in the trees.”
The v-shaped dimple furrowed into his brow as he turned his face towards the forest. “I shouldn’t have pulled the magic back.”
I scoffed. “Yes, because you fucking bleeding out and dying was a much better idea.”
His lips pursed, and he reached out so that he could brush his thumb along my cheek and part my mouth to kiss me. “I’m sorry, love.”
I released a breath against his shoulder. The fabric he wore had stretched out and revealed the planes of his chest, which shimmered a deep tan color again. I let my forehead drop against the coarse material and curled my arms around Hyacinth. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve just been terrified for the last few days. Gods, it felt like a lifetime. But you’re okay, now.”
He tightened his embrace. “I’m here.”
I shuddered, the terror of the previous days ricocheting through me. I pressed a kiss against his neck and rested my lips against the healthy pulse of his heart thudding. And I tried to keep my gaze from slipping to the trees where I felt certain someone or something had seen us.
17
Epiphany
I smoothed the silk of my skirt down. I studied myself in the mirror and twisted a curl around my finger before tucking it behind my ear. In the week I’d been at Lady Antonia’s house, several dozen leaders from various countries had arrived. I’d spent my days attending meals, conveying my father’s regards, tiptoeing over topics I only had vague knowledge about.
It had been a tremendous headache.
Light glimmered off the mirror, reflecting on my skin and giving it a shimmer.
I smiled.
Because I couldn’t help it.
The night with Valerian left me feeling bolstered, my flesh tingling where he had touched me, the warmth of his body lingering on mine.
I was helping my family and doing something meaningful. That added a pep to my step as well. I grabbed a necklace and looped it around my neck, the amethyst gems set in it sparkling over my cheeks.
I could deal with having to dress a certain way, entertaining strangers, playing the role expected of me for Father and for Niria.
As I stepped out of my bedroom, I closed the door behind me with a thump, and walked along the hall, down the stairs, and into the dining room where a dozen people sat eating breakfasts of bread, honey, soft cheese, and fruit. Lady Antonia chatted with a governor of Dorian, who had arrived the night before.
Galeson looked up as though he could sense my arrival, his pale cheeks warming. A range of emotions whirled through me, including an unexpected pleasure as he had become one of the few familiar and safe faces here, and then guilt that flushed my skin.
Joden stepped up beside me and inclined his head. “I have to say, Princess Epiphany, it’s encouraging to see your attachment to Lord Galeson.”
I blinked rapidly. “Is that right?”
“It’s unfortunate how rumors develop and, of course, harm the royal family. I’m glad to find those are unfounded and that you are aligning with someone who will provide Niria with strength. And I’m certain your father would approve.” I clenched my teeth as he crossed his arms, his jacket wrinkling with that motion. “On that note, have you worked through the paperwork he sent you?”
I lifted my face to him. “Paperwork?”
“He referenced something in a letter he sent to me. He said you would relay his decision on our connection with Dorian.”
