A Shield of Fate and Ruin (Apollo Ascending Book 3), page 18
“I couldn’t get you to rouse.”
“I’m awake now, but my head is pounding.” The previous night rushed through my mind. Ibella slipping away into the forest, our dinner and drinks, my memories blurring like streaking lights, my suspicion that she had poisoned us. I sat up hard enough that Hyacinth teetered with the motion. “Where the fuck is she?”
He swallowed, bowing his head. “Long gone, I think.”
I turned to him, running my hand along his jaw that remained gritty and unshaved, and then across his broad shoulders. “Are you okay? Has she hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” he whispered, his eyes cast down. “But you were right. She robbed us.”
I kissed him. I didn’t care about anything else. He was alive and well and the rest could keep. “What’s missing?”
The air buzzed with heat, so it was later in the morning than I had thought, and the sun was probably not on course at all. I shifted my gaze to the campsite, where a neat pile of our clothing sat stacked, topped with the contents of my bag.
“She took all of our money,” Hyacinth said.
I whirled around, taking in the clumps of grass dotting the clearing. “Where’s my bag?”
He frowned again, his long lashes brushing his cheeks. “She must have taken it as well, but she left everything else.”
I jumped up, pacing around the bundle of stuff. Temi’s bracelet, my lyre, the poetry folio, the pouch of Hyacinth seeds, all our supplies except for the money, except for… “She took my damn bag?”
Hyacinth rose, his expression wary, and he crossed his arms. “Aren’t you more worried about the money?”
“Fuck money. We can get more of that. She. Took. My. Bag.”
I rifled through the pile of our supplies and realized something else was missing. My mother’s hair ribbon. The only thing I had left of her. A ripple of grief washed through me. Had Ibella taken it, or did it flutter out of the pile and into the wind? I guess the answer didn’t matter as I’d never see it again either way.
That bag held everything.
I’d told Hyacinth I’d won it. But I’d never shared with anyone how. Not even Temi. I’d just shown up with it after a visit at Mt. Olympus. Temi had asked about it, but I clutched my fingers into the supple fabric and a gleam of something fierce and prideful pulsed through me.
I’d won that bag from a game that was supposed to put me in my place.
I’d pissed off Zeus.
Nothing new, of course.
But then he’d asked Hermes to let me join in a card game. I’d been young then, thirteen and already in a contentious relationship with our Father. But still naïve. A boy who’d grown up sheltered in our little village and too trusting.
Hermes and my brothers won everything I had that night, including my tunic.
I left the game and walked through the stone hallways, bare-chested and warm-cheeked. Nymphs laughed, their glasses of wine splashing drops of liquid that trailed down the marble walls.
Zeus intercepted me in the hall. “How does it feel to realize you’re not the smartest one in the room, after all?”
I stared at him, at the twinkle of smugness in his eye.
I bowed my head until he walked away, but I vowed the next day would not be the same. Hermes sat in his chair at breakfast, chatting with several of our siblings, who all sneered at me.
“I’d like to challenge you to another card game.”
Hermes frowned, his wispy brown hair brushing his ears as he exchanged a look with the others. “Didn’t lose enough yesterday, brother?”
The others laughed, and I clenched my teeth. “I want to up the bet.”
“To what?”
Clouds floated in through the open windows, wisping around my ankles. “I’ll take over delivering messages for the year if you win.”
Hermes scoffed. “You haven’t even ascended and can’t travel instantly yet.”
“I’ll ascend, then. My bargain will start the year after my ascension.”
Hermes popped a grape into his mouth, chewing it slowly, considering me. “And if you win?”
“I want your bag.”
Hermes choked on the bite, coughing hard and pounding his chest. Gods had talismans they clung to. Tridents, rings, objects imbued with rare magic.
Hermes had the knapsack.
It was his source of pride. A one-of-a-kind sack that had limitless storage and powerful protections over it. Hermes ran his fingers down the braided strap, but Heracles snorted. “Afraid our little brother can best you?”
Hermes frowned and shifted back into his chair. “Of course not.”
“The gardens, then?” I said.
Hermes hesitated for another moment, but then shrugged. “I could use a break from delivering, after all.”
The group followed us out to the table next to a fountain that trickled, sparkling in sunlight. I’d never called on my powers, but I knew how to. I did it by accident sometimes. As we settled into the game, I drew the smallest ray of light behind his shoulder that bounced off his cards, causing them to reflect in the fountain.
A beat of shame pulsed through me.
I cheated.
But they’d had no reservations to mercilessly bring down a thirteen-year-old. And I wasn’t going to be made a fool of anymore.
Ares stood in the eaves, watching me with careful eyes. I believed he knew what I was doing but didn’t say anything. He’d always had a soft spot for me. I think I reminded him of Ixion and of the lack of control he had to protect him.
I beat Hermes, round after round, until his cheeks flushed with anger and he begrudgingly tossed the bag at me, storming off to howls of laughter from our brothers.
I gripped the supple material under my fingers.
It felt like I held my destiny in my hands.
Father could try to shame me, force me to submit, push me into his mold.
It wouldn’t work.
I walked up to the throne room, Ares shadowing me, the bag slung over my arm, confidence straightening my posture. When I approached, Zeus stood up from his seat. “Apollo?”
“I wished to tell you goodbye before I head home today.”
He scowled, and then his eyes darted to the bag. “Where did you get that?”
“I won it,” I whispered, but couldn’t help the grin that climbed up my face. “In a card game. And I thought about what you asked me yesterday.”
His steely eyes narrowed.
How does it feel to realize you’re not the smartest one in the room, after all?
Derision had dripped in his words.
I grinned at him. “It feels just fine.”
I bowed and left the chamber, ignoring the thunder trembling in the sky, the quiet hush of gods growing silent. Ares gave me an annoyed look. Why raise Father’s ire? But I had my reasons. And my fingers never left the bumps of the strap on the entire walk down. It felt like I held my destiny in my hands. Zeus wouldn’t best me. I’d forge my path and not cow like every other god did.
It became my talisman for not giving in, regardless of the cost. It reminded me I’d bested Father once and I could do it again.
But now that bag was gone.
It was one of the few constants of my life.
And I’d probably never see it again.
Hyacinth tucked farther into himself, the flowing green of the bushes trembling behind him. “Apollo, I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you.”
I shifted towards him, to the misery and embarrassment that hung on him. I wasn’t that thirteen-year-old child trying to prove himself anymore. I’d miss that bag terribly, but my husband mattered more to me. “Oh, Cyn.” I walked over and kissed his collarbone. “We’re both alive and unscathed and we even have most of our stuff. It’s fine.”
He scratched his forehead. “I feel like a fool. I shouldn’t have trusted her.”
I lifted his chin until his hazel eyes caught a spark of the sun and glimmered honey-gold. “Hyacinth, I love this about you.” He looked at me with so much hurt in his expression it twined through me. I twined our hands together. “You see the good in others.” I kissed the tips of his fingers. “You saw the best in me when I couldn’t. Don’t feel bad about that based on one experience.”
“Are you upset with me?”
“Of course I’m not. I would rather you practice compassion, and us occasionally get duped, than for you to be heartless. And luckily, she was just a robber.”
“Luckily?”
I shrugged. “She could have been a veiled deity who worked for my father.”
Hyacinth shivered at that. “But you’re upset about your bag?”
“Well, I was fucking attached to that bag.”
He gave a forced smile and lowered his face again. “And you lost it because of me.”
“It’s just a thing.” I clenched my teeth. A thing I particularly loved, and damn Ibella to the underworld… if that was even her actual fucking name. But Hyacinth was all right. There was nothing on earth I could carry that mattered as much to me as him. “Come on. I’ll tie up a blanket for a shitty ass knapsack and we can get going again. We’ll have to get creative with how to purchase transportation now.” Cyn bit his lip. He felt awful, and that made me want to strangle the girl. But what was done was done. I knew how to shift him out of the mood, however, and I smirked. “We might even have to steal a horse.”
His eyes dashed up. “We can’t steal someone’s horse.”
I knocked my arm into his. “I love that you actually think I was serious.”
He scoffed, but his shoulders eased. “I am sorry, Apollo.”
“Yeah, well, I caused your death. I would say on the account of issues we’ve created for each other, you’re still ahead.”
He reached out and pressed his fingers into the small of my back. “I still don’t regret us, even with the cost.”
I leaned in and parted his lips with mine, the warmth of his kiss blooming in my mouth. “And neither do I. Even if my knapsack was this month’s sacrifice.” He chuckled, and it vibrated through me. “Now, come on. Yesterday, when we saw the other travelers I suspected we were close to a city.”
We gathered things up and left the campsite, heading north.
The sun bore down so heavily it shimmered in the air, creating bands of clear light in the stretch of endless prairie ahead of us. My throat grew dry, and I kept turning towards Hyacinth, who glistened from sweat, the muscles of his bare arms glimmering in gold. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t getting too thirsty or exhausted. I still had lingering dizziness from the drug that had knocked us out, and he had to as well though he didn’t complain about it.
I clenched my teeth. If we ever ran across Ibella again… I blew out a breath.
Clouds, great navy, mountainous ones, rolled across the sky.
The temperature of the air dropped so fast, the sweat on my brow caused me to shiver. Hyacinth sighed in relief but crossed his arms.
“Shit,” I said. “The weather.”
Because I’d missed pulling up the sun.
Because of Ibella.
Lightning sliced the heavens in the distance, thunder rumbling so hard in its wake that the ground beneath our feet quaked.
For a moment I froze, hairs on the back of my neck rising.
It made me think of my father.
Could it be possible that he knew we’d arrived and had sought us out? Maybe Ibella did work for him and had shared where to find us. But no. Why wouldn’t he just kill me while we had lain passed out? And what purpose would she have had to rob us, then? No… it was just the sun shuddering off track that caused the weather.
But it didn’t change the uneasy feeling that lingered in my bones.
Hyacinth shifted towards me, his face illuminated ivory in another burst of light. “Should we try to find shelter?”
I turned back to the long stretch of treeless expanse around us. We could go backwards in the direction of where we had camped. But I didn’t relish that idea either. We’d lost too much time, and who knew if we’d outrun this storm to make it there, anyway? “Let’s keep going, but if it gets worse”—I squeezed his hand—“if anything truly dangerous happens, I want you to release the powers. We’ll have to take a chance on being seen to get out of this.”
Hyacinth’s brow furrowed, the v-shaped dimple forming between his eyebrows, but he nodded.
We clenched our hands together as the wind picked up, tossing leaves and sticks through the air like shrapnel that sliced against us. I curled in towards Hyacinth, as if I could shield him from the worst of it, when the clouds thickened, expanded, and dropped from the sky into a growing funnel. A roaring filled the air until it overtook the other sounds in the world.
My breath whooshed out of me as we both raised our faces.
To the tornado that spun its way down to earth and clattered up dirt like it planned to rip the world apart.
That raced in our direction.
“Oh, shit.” I turned and stood in front of Hyacinth, the clattering twigs and pebbles banging into my back. “We have to get out of this.”
His eyes had doubled in size, but he nodded.
The storm thundered and roared, and I had to yell to raise my voice over it. “Don’t let me go. Okay? We’ll use our powers to travel farther north and away from this storm.” Darkness permeated the sky, casting his features in darkness. “We have to move together. I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
He leaned in and kissed me hard. We became two shadows embracing in a world torn apart as lightning flashed in the sky and the storm howled like a ghost bent on destruction. “I won’t lose you, golden boy. I promise.”
I swallowed, and the magic peeled off me, springing back to Hyacinth. My powers flamed through me, golden and aching and bright. I clenched his hands so tight I feared I might hurt him. But I couldn’t lose him in the middle of this.
His tunic whipped around, the tornado growing wide enough that it covered half the sky beyond us. He inclined his head, that princely look he loved to don falling over his features. The expression he wore when a decision had been made and it was time to move forward.
I trembled and closed my eyes.
And swept into the powers of the sun.
Into heat and magic and fire.
I whipped through space above the storm, over the clouds, past the heavens. And the entire time, a sweet floral smell glittered around me. It was a balm. Hyacinth was there, safe from the danger alongside me.
I slowed and found the spot on earth I wished to land. We’d passed a full country, and I dropped in the middle of Pasus. Hyacinth arrived with me and he offered me a cheeky grin, as if it had been easy.
I rolled my eyes even as relief flooded through me. “Show off.”
Someone stood and crunched over leaves that scattered beneath the olive trees in the grove we’d landed in. “Apollo,” he said. “Your father has been looking for you.”
Hyacinth’s expression washed away, shock replacing the smugness he’d donned.
As we both stared at the god before us.
25
Epiphany
I shuddered and rolled over in my bed. My cheeks stung from dried tears, and my chest hurt from crying. I’d slept in fitful bursts, and when I woke, it flooded back to me. Father… was gone.
I hunched down under the covers, tucking the softness of them up to my chin.
I remembered the last time we’d sat together in the atrium. The gentleness of his features. How he’d said, ‘You make me proud just by being you.’
I had been so eager to leave the city behind, to follow Valerian and Temi, to do something more important. But if I had stayed, I could have spent my time with him in his final weeks.
A bird chirped from outside the window. I wanted to scream and lift the bowl off the basin table and throw it at the creature. How can you sing when my father is dead? How can the sun continue to rise? How is this house bustling about as if nothing has changed at all?
A knock sounded at the door.
I turned over and considered ignoring it.
But Father had trusted me… to do this. He’d sent me in his stead to represent Niria, to make our family proud. For his sake, I rolled off the mattress, my bare feet scuffing the carpet as I grabbed my robe and glided it over my arms before tying it at the waist. I walked past a mirror which reflected the jumbled mess of my curls and attempted to smooth them down with my fingers.
I cracked open the door, allowing light from my room to slip over a pair of dark boots. “Yes?”
“Epiphany… Pip… I… Forgive me for coming to your private residence… well, once again…” Galeson bowed his head, his fingers hovering in front of him like he wished he could physically do something. “I just wanted to check in on you… and…”
I swallowed. “Would you like to come in?” Color flushed over his cheeks, but he nodded. He stepped inside, and I shut the door, the latch clicking before I shifted to face him. “Forgive me,” I whispered and gestured at myself. “I’m sure I look a mess right now.”
Galeson wrung his fingers together, his gaze darting about the room before settling on me. “You look beautiful.” I lifted my gaze to see his and the sincerity in his blue eyes. “As you always do.”
I wiped at my cheeks, suddenly feeling foolish for inviting him in. But Temi had gone… the army would leave in the morning to meet Ansair… to fight. Valerian hadn’t been able to see me. And Emrin had acted colder than any advisor or high lord that had ever sneered at or whispered about me. I didn’t know what was happening with Emrin. He seemed to wrap his grief and anxiety in a coat of disregard and hardness.
Despite that, he was my brother. The person I grew up trailing behind. The child who sat on Father’s other knee as he sang songs to us that made Mother laugh. And the boy I remembered with nervous eyes and gentle hands.
How could he have told me about Father with so little regard?
And all of that was why I invited Galeson in. Because I was utterly alone in the world. And he was the only friendly face.
