I didn't know why that knowledge hit so deep, leaving something hollow and empty in its place. Somehow him not remembering me now felt like I'd lost something. Like that part of Lachlan King who had seen me at that club, but seen more than just a girl out to celebrate her birthday, the part of him that talked to me about his brother and my parents, he was gone. What we’d shared was gone.

  The irritation and pride I had felt for him not ten minutes ago evaporated, and all I felt was weighted down, rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do with myself.

  “There's nothing I can do about it, right? Can't get his memories back. But I mean we should do something, shouldn’t we? Are we going to tell him, not tell him, what's the plan?"

  Tabs raised a brow. "Would telling him resolve it?"

  "Well, it could trigger flashbacks." I coughed a laugh. “I was probably forgettable to begin with, and now we've just made it worse."

  "Please, I wish you would stop doing that,” Tabs said. “You are amazing."

  "Sure, I'm amazing, funny, smart. But not exactly a sex bomb."

  "That's because you don't let yourself be a sex bomb. And I'm pretty sure the way he looks at you indicates he thinks you're a sex bomb."

  I frowned at that. “Do I smell weird?"

  Her brows lifted. "What do you mean by weird?"

  "My scent, is there something off about it?"

  She leaned in and inhaled. "Roses. Vanilla. Something else. Lilies? I don't know, I can't tell notes of a perfume. I know you smell great. Why?"

  "He was talking about it in the woods on that training day. He said he found me because of my scent."

  She lifted a brow. “Really?"

  "Right? And then today, he recognized me in my disguise within twenty minutes."

  Her jaw hung open. "No one has recognized you in two years."

  “I know. I'm annoyed. But he said it was my eyes and my scent that tipped him off, so I need to know if I smell weird."

  She leaned back and folded her arms. "Oh, this is interesting."

  "Why?"

  Tabatha sighed. "Babes, you think I don't know you. You think you did something wrong and he forgot you, but obviously his subconscious hasn’t. It's just a really shitty set of circumstances, and sometimes I think that you don't see yourself clearly."

  “I see myself fine."

  “Yes, love." She stepped forward, taking my hands. “You see yourself as smart and capable, which obviously you are. You're a badass. You are a Rogues agent."

  "Not a full-fledged one."

  She pressed her lips together firmly. “You don't need anyone to tell you that you're great."

  "Like you said, I'm smart and capable."

  “Yes, but you’re also beautiful. And deserving of love. And more than just one thing. You're sexy and stupidly stunning without even trying. The fact that you don't even wear makeup is just like shocking to me."

  “I'm not the sexy one. That's a fact."

  "No, you feel that way because you've been dealing with men who aren't worthy and cannot see the inherent sexiness in you being you. Like it or not, Lachlan King saw it, and it hurts now that he's forgotten that night. And it's okay for it to hurt. That just sucks. But again, you didn't do anything wrong."

  Hearing her saying that to me, I knew she was right. “It sucks."

  “I’m sorry love. He’s not just pretending not to remember. Those memories of you are actually gone.”

  My idiotic heart squeezed. He wasn't going to suddenly remember. That memory was gone and forgotten, and it would be better if I forgot it too.

  Besides, he was a trainee. And Rogues agents weren't allowed to fraternize. So whatever the hell feelings I was having on the topic, they were a moot point. Nothing could happen either way.

  Lachlan king wasn't for me.

  Saffron

  The following morning, I was still reeling from what Tabatha had told me. It should have been easy to let it go and move on. But here I was still thinking about it. About him. Obsessing over every whispered caress.

  I’d been hands-off with him because I was hurt. I’d thought he was an average fuckboi who shagged so much he didn’t remember me. Then I’d thought he was lying. Then possibly a plant by Gabe. When in truth, we had done this to him. Wiped me clean from his memory.

  I’d been treating him like shit. In my defense though, he’d been flirtatious and I’d thought he was fucking with me.

  I was so busy trying to put Lachlan King out of my head that I wasn't paying attention as I walked down the training hallway, and a hand clamped around my upper arm as another hand slammed over my mouth, and I was dragged into a medical supply cupboard.

  “If you scream, we're both dead."

  I glared up mutinously at the very same idiot I had on the brain. Lachlan.

  “Do not scream," he repeated.

  I narrowed my eyes, but I nodded. Slowly, he released my mouth. The moment he did, I spat out, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

  “I could ask the same of you, sweetheart." He didn't put the requisite amount of space between us. I could feel every single one of his tensed muscles thrust up against me, and fuck me, my nipples were hard.

  I swallowed hard as I glowered up at him. “You're in my house, arsehole."

  "Might I add that's not entirely of my own free will. I heard what you said the other day about refusing to train me. My understanding is it's your job. And you just need to train me, or I'm going to die in the field.”

  “You seem to be doing just fine without me. You did so well at your last training module that we don't actually have any need to train together.”

  The thing was, I had already decided to train him properly. Because he was right. If he didn't get refined one-on-one training, something bad was going to happen in the field. The fact that he made it this far was a testament to his natural ability.

  " You really want me to go to Gabe with this?"

  “Going to run off and tell, are you?" What the hell was wrong with me? Feeling him this close to me, his sandalwood musk wrapping around me, the way I could feel his warm breath against my cheek… How dare he stand in front of me looking so good while trying to force me into training him? Yes, I’d already been assigned, but I had planned on taking my own sweet time about it.

  You've already taken your sweet time. And you are a Rogue. This is your job. Do it.

  “Just tell me why you won’t. What the fuck have I ever done to you?”

  I had no answer for him. “How dare you question me?"

  He chuckled then, the laughter triggering the motion of his muscles, causing them to rub against me even more. "I've tried speaking to you. I've tried being polite. You think I want to fucking walk into Webb's office and tell on you? I have no idea what the punishment would be for not following a direct order. I'm not a grass, but you need to let go of whatever is pissing you off. Did I shag a mate of yours or something and not call her back?"

  I inhaled sharply. Well if that didn't just top it all off. “I really don't care who you shag.”

  His gaze narrowed on mine. He lifted a brow and smirked. “Oh, this is interesting.”

  “What the hell is interesting?”

  “You're not as immune to me as you like to think.”

  A hot flush of embarrassment snaked up my neck, but I tried to cover. “Poor little rich boy. So used to the world doing exactly as he says. I don't work for you. I'm not your family. But I am the woman standing between you and your ultimate freedom from here. So maybe you'll think twice before you threaten me again.”

  He very deliberately shoved away from me. “I'm not threatening you. I'm just making it very fucking clear that whatever your problem is with me, we need to address it before it becomes a matter of my life or death.”

  “Tell me, King, what did you think you were going to get out of today? All you've managed to do is piss me off.”

  “Well, that makes two of us now. Start training me. I don't intend to die because you've got a stick shoved up your arse. The sooner you train me, the sooner I can get back to my life.”

  I went stock-still, remembering a conversation with Lock about sex. What we tried and hadn't tried. What we wanted to try. Not necessarily in that moment, but the kind of talk you have with someone you’re interested in fucking again.

  Lock had a habit of whispering dirty things he wanted to do to you as he was fucking you. One of those things was sticking that very large cock of his in my arse. The thought of it had excited me. But then, obviously, I hadn't intended on staying. And we had never gotten that far.

  But now that he was goading me by saying there was something stuck up my arse, all I could think about was his hoarse, guttural voice asking me if I was a dirty girl who liked a cock up her arse or not.

  I shook my head. "That family you're so desperate to get back to are the ones keeping you here against your will.”

  He flinched, and I knew I’d landed a solid blow. He'd told me his biggest fear was being utterly useless, and I'd used it against him. The shame seeped into my blood vessels, becoming part of me, and I knew I would not be able to take it back no matter what I said, so I clamped my mouth shut.

  “You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. Nine months, and I'm out of here."

  "Okay, deal. But you will have to pass on your own merit. I know that you’re not used to that, but we don’t play games around here."

  He pushed himself away from me even further. “Do your job and I’ll do mine." Then he opened the door and stomped out, leaving me alone in the dark.

  Saffron

  Just who the fuck did he think he was? That stunt in the cupboard… Just thinking about it had my core melting. Fucking hell.

  I’d tried to interact with him as little as possible, only to have him full-on approach me and bitch that I wasn't teaching him. What the fuck did he know?

  You're not teaching him.

  Okay, fair assessment, but still, goddamn him.

  "What's up, love?"

  Tabatha’s cheery voice dragged me from my reverie in the locker room as I sat with my face in my hands trying to scrub the memory of Lachlan King's hands on me out of my head.

  "Nothing."

  Tabs laughed. "Sweetheart, that is your frustrated look. You look like you want to hit something. What's wrong?"

  "Nothing. I'm fine."

  She laughed. “I know that face. That's the I'm fine, but Gabe has ruined my life face. What's he done now? Shall we kill him?"

  “I do love a ride-or-die bestie. Honestly, I do. And thank you for offering to murder my brother for me."

  "Anytime."

  "But this time Gabe is not the problem; Lachlan King is."

  She sucked in her bottom lip then and nodded while she was making big eyes at me.

  "What's with the eyes?"

  "Are you going to break down and shag him?" she asked excitedly.

  I blurted, "What? Never."

  "Oh, come on. You clearly want to. You wouldn't be so hard on him during trials if you didn't."

  “I'm not being hard on him; I'm making sure he's a good agent."

  "Then why are you mad?"

  "Other than the fact that he appears to have completely forgotten that we hooked up, I'm not mad at all."

  Tab winced. "Okay, it sucks, but at least you know now why that happened. He is a half-decent agent, and no one said you have to like him. Just that you have to train him. The sooner you train him, the sooner you get rid of him."

  "He dragged me into a cupboard."

  Tabs raised a brow. "What do you mean, he dragged you?"

  “Dragged me, like hand over my mouth, the whole thing, demanding to know why I bloody hate him. Can you imagine?"

  Her mouth hung open. "Are you going to report him?"

  I frowned at that. "No. I'm not doing that. He wants to learn. And he's right; I've not been training him."

  Tabs nodded, studying me some more. "Okay, so why aren't you training him? Isn't that the job? It's the punishment, right?"

  “Yes. I just— I wish—” I sighed in frustration. “He looks at me like he remembers, but then I talk to him and it's like he doesn't remember."

  Tabs frowned. "Do you know when he was brought in?"

  I shook my head. "No, but I'm sure we can look that up in his file and figure it out."

  “I have a theory."

  "Okay, let's hear it."

  She shook her head. "No, I’m not going to burden you with this theory until I have further proof. See if you can figure out exactly when he was brought in. Obviously, it was after your birthday at some point."

  “Yeah, what are you trying to say?"

  "Just see if you can figure it out. I'll do the rest."

  "Tabs, you know I hate guessing games."

  “I know, I know. I have a theory. In the meantime, he has a point. Your job is to train him. You're currently not doing that job."

  I winced at that. “I'm damn good at my job, Tabs."

  “Then show him. Because the job is to make sure that fine specimen of an arse and those gorgeous baby blues survive out in the real world, and currently, you're not doing that. You're focusing on Saint and Rookie, and Robert. You're not training him."

  The sting of shame was almost worse than feeling Lock's warm breath on my face, knowing he didn't remember me.

  "Okay, I hear you."

  "Look, I'm not trying to make you do something. That's your brother’s gig. But remember the job. We train them so that they all come back, right? So, whether you like him or not, you have to teach him how to survive."

  I sighed. “Yeah, I know."

  “Good. Now, hands off Saint. He's mine."

  “I thought you wanted Gabe?" I asked.

  "Oh, I do. Saint is just nice to look at. Now figure out what you're going to do with your recruit, and I'm going to do a little digging."

  "Why does that scare me, Tabs?"

  "What is scarier is how I plan on doing my digging."

  I eyed her warily. "Oh God, please, please don't. I have this feeling it's going to have something to do with Gabe, and I'm not sure if I should be terrified for you or excited."

  "Oh, relax. Take a chill. I'm not going to do anything illegal or anything that will get me kicked out of Rogues. I like this job."

  “Fair enough. Won't you give me a hint?"

  She shook her head. "Nope. No hints for you."

  I rolled my shoulders and stood up. “Fine. Looks like I need to go find my trainee."

  She grinned at me. “Maybe just plant one on him and see what he does. I guarantee you, he'll remember you after that."

  “You're insane. I am going to train him though, because that's the gig. And despite hating my brother today, and all week really, I know how to do my job."

  8

  Lachlan

  I was just leaving the dining hall when the scent of roses brought me up short. I stopped in the path and immediately whirled around. From the shadows, Saff stepped out and studied me softly. "Have you eaten?"

  “Yes. Is this where you tell me you're going to run me until I vomit?"

  Her brow furrowed, and she shook her head. "No, although I wouldn't put it past Gabe to come up with training like that. So keep that in mind."

  I groaned. "Okay, if you're not going to run me till I puke, why do I get the feeling this isn't a coincidence?"

  "Because it's not."

  I squared my shoulders, ready to hear that she'd reported me. That I would be going the same way as Maxim.

  “You were right."

  I frowned in confusion. "What?"

  “You were right. I haven't been training you."

  I breathed a sigh of relief. "Why would you admit that?"

  “I admit my mistakes."

  "Okay, let me ask… Why aren't you training me?"

  "Because you are my punishment handed out from Gabe himself. So I've been resistant. But that's not fair because you need the training."

  “Is there a reason you haven't been training me besides Gabe? Because I get the impression there is."

  Her tongue peeked out to lick her bottom lip and desire went straight to my dick. Thankfully, it was dark out and she couldn't see it, because something told me she would have read me my last rights.

  "No. Look, I've seen agents like you. Cocky. Think they know everything. Don't listen great. But my job is to keep you alive in the field, so I'm going to do my job. I can't let you walk out unprepared."

  “Why help me all of a sudden?”

  “It doesn't matter. I'm not going to let you die in the field."

  "Well, I’m grateful for that, but I want to know the reason. You are very resistant to me, and I know it’s more than the fact Gabe assigned me to you, so what is it?"

  She looked like I’d put her on the spot, but she said, “It’s like you guessed. You shagged one of my mates and then ghosted her.”

  "That doesn't even sound like me. I'm an asshole sometimes, but it’s usually because I'm blunt and direct. I never did like ghosting as a means to get rid of someone. It always feels like unfinished work, you know?"

  “Yeah, anyway, you're at Rogues now. I shouldn't let that interfere."

  "Would it help if I apologize to your mate?"

  Her eyes went wide, and I could see the panic in them. "Um, no. I just plan on training you properly."

  "Okay, but I’m more than willing to do it. Who knows, maybe it'll change your opinion of me?"

  She lifted a brow. "Unlikely. But I don't want you to die on my watch, so don't suck."

  I laughed at that. “Careful now, you're American side is coming through."

  She laughed. “I spent half my life in the States. Mum was Ghanaian and Jamaican-American. Dad was obviously British."

  “I can brush up on my American slang."

  She nodded and turned to leave. "Oh, and King?"

  The terse way she said my name had my dick swelling. “Yeah?"

  “You ever pull some shit like you did in the cupboard again, and I will end you. I won't wait for Gabe to do it. I'll put you down again, permanently. Do you understand?"

 

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