When We Were Romans, page 11
WHEN WE WENT BACK TO GUSES they were all in the sitting room which was the kitchen too, they were drinking wine, and I thought “this is old and dirty” I thought “I don’t like it here.” They all said “welcome to our house” and mum said “this is so kind of you” and then she said “come on Lawrence, say hello, don’t be unfreindly” but I didn’t say hello, I just didn’t feel like it, so mum said “he’s a bit tired today” which just was a lie of course. But then I changed my mind. I thought “even if its old and dirty here its still better than being at Cloudios.” So I looked at all the people, there were five of them, and I thought “and you are not Cloudio and Chintsier and Gabrielly” I thought “all right then, I suppose I will give you your animals after all.”
Gus didn’t need one of course, he was already a dog, he asked mum “so how was Cloudios” and mum said “it was lovely, but I just didn’t want to croud them out in that little flat” which was another lie, I thought “what a lot of lies your saying today mum.” Gus said he was writing a play for doing in a theater, Mum said “but you were doing that last time” and Gus said “this is completely different, this is much angrier” so I thought “that’s silly, how can a play get angry?”
Next to Gus there was Marther who had funny eyes, she looked right at you with a special smile, it was like she was saying “I am Martha and I am looking at you” so she was Marther the special monkey, I thought “do I like you marther?” I thought “I’m not sure.” She asked me what I liked best at school and when I said “stories” she was pleased, she said I would like this house because everybody here was an artist, they were all writing or singing or something. I said “but an artist doesn’t sing, an artist does paintings” but Marther said “no, Lawrence, a singer can be an artist too, like Oska here” and she pointed at Oska, who was sitting in the corner with his giutar, she said “Osker is our song writer” and Oska laughed, he said “no he is your busker” which I knew, because mum told me once, it is somebody who sings outside restaraunts so people give him money. Marther said “Oska will be the next Bob Dillin you just wait” but I didn’t know Bob Dillin, I wanted to ask mum but I didn’t because I was still cross with her.
Oska was very thin with black hair and he only played his guitar a bit sometimes, so it was like he was talking with it actually, it said “oh yes” or “no I don’t think so” he was a smiley guitar ferrit. Marther said “your all staying in Oskas’ room actually, he’s sleeping down here on the sofa, we so wanted to help you” and mum said “that’s so kind, Oska, I really don’t know how to thank you” and he didn’t say anything, he just smiled and made his guitar go “pling pling pling” like it was saying “that’s ok” which was funny.
So I thought “actually you new people are quite nice after all I suppose, even greedy Gus and Marther special monkey” I thought “I’m glad I’m giving you your animals.” My favorite was Hilary, she was chopping vegtables and putting them in pots, she had brown hair that was round like a ball and she was fat, whenever she looked at me she gave me a nice smile, so she was a nice cow. Martha said Hillary was brilliant at cooking, one day she would have lots of restaraunts all over the world, and Hilery made a funny smile, she said “I don’t know about that.”
The last one was really easy to get an animal for. He was called Freddy and he had a white beard which was so big it was bigger than his head, and it was frizzy like stuff that comes out of cushions if theres a hole, so he was Freddy the Father Chrismas Bear. Freddy talked like Bill Vanhootin, Marther said he was from Canada, which is near America, she said “Freddies our brilliant poet, he had his poems published in a book, and now hes helping me write poems too, poor fool” and Freddy said “Marther’s really good.” Then Marther gave him her special smile and she said “Freddy, maybe you should show Hannah Lawrence and Jemima round the house.”
So we saw all the rooms. Hilary nice cow had a blue bottle on the table with a flower in it, Freddy said “Hilleries our angel, she looks after us all.” There was a computer room, mum had a computer like that ages ago when I was small, so I thought “thats really old” but Freddy liked it, he said “feel free to use it any time, just put a yuro in the trust box” and mum said “that’s kind.” Guses room was almost empty, there were just some books and a bed that was flat on the floor like a carpit. Next door was Martha special monkeys room but it was locked, Jemima tried the handle, Freddy said “Marthers the boss, this is her house” and mum said “just leave it alone, Jemima.” Our room was upstairs and it had a bed like a carpet like Guses, Hermann and all our bags were there. So I went to say hello to Hermann, I said “I told you I’d come back” and then I looked out of the window at the road, two ladies were looking at a shop, and I thought “its not very nice but its much better than horrible Cloudios house” I thought “all right I will let us stay here.”
Freddy chrismas bear said “I’m next door, if you ever need anything just shout.” So we went to see his room which had funny pens, they were very long and thin and mum said they weren’t pens actually, they were quils. But the really intresting thing was the pieces of paper which were stuck all over the walls, there were hundreds, so you could hardly see the walls at all. Freddy said “those are my poems, I like to have them up so I can look at them and write them better.” Then Jemima blew like she was blowing out a candel and some of them moved, it was like they wanted to go off flying, so of course she blew at them again and I thought “uhoh, watch out, poemes” but they were saved, because then Hilary nice cow shouted up the stairs, she said “dinners ready.”
Usually mum says I must eat some vegetables but this time she forgot so I just ate pasta with cheese. The reason she forgot was because she was talking and talking with Gus, he was telling her about how his play was so angry and she was telling him how lovely it was being in Rome again, it was just so wonderfull. At first I didn’t mind but then I got annoyed, I thought “I’m watching you mum” I thought “you’d better not be like you were in Cloudios kitchen” I thought “you’d better not put your fingers on Guses ears.”
Then something happened, because the telephone rang, Hillery got it, she said “it’s for you Hannah” and she gave mum a funny look, she made her eyebrows go up and she said “its someone called Beppo.” I thought “oh yes, Beppo who I don’t know and who Franseen and Crissy chick and me don’t like at all.” Mum started talking and talking on the telephone, she said “how amazing, how clever of you to track us down.” Now Gus looked cross, so I thought “that’s good, ha ha Gus” but only for a bit, because mum went on and on, she wouldn’t stop and she was smiling and smiling so I thought “you really like this Beppo.” Everyone was quiet, I thought “they are all listening” mostly it was in Italian but some bits were in english, she said “really, oh god that would be so good, actually we are getting a bit desperate.” Finally she stopped, she said “till tomorrow then” and Gus said “Beppo, wasn’t he the one who used to drive round in that open top” which I didn’t know, mum said it was a car without a roof. Mum said “that’s right, and he said he might have a flat for us, isn’t that wonderful” but I thought “I don’t know about that” I thought “I don’t like your flat Beppo.”
After that it got worse, because mum started talking and talking to Gus all over again. I thought “this is really enough now, its like it just goes on forever” I thought “there are so many of them, these Guses and Cloudios and Beppos, I cant stop them all.” Then I noticed an intresting thing, because Marther looked cross too. She said “can you get us some more wine Gus” so I thought “I know, you are trying to interupt them” I thought “go on, Marther” but it didn’t work, Gus got the wine but then he just started talking to mum all over again. I tried too, I said “mum, I want a tintin, the red sea sharks, can you go up stairs and get it out of the bag” but that didn’t work either, she said “not now Lawrence, can’t you see I’m still having my dinner.” I thought “how long are you going to be, are you going to be ages?” so I looked at her plate, and d’you know it was like she told a big lie, because there was just a tiny bit left, it was sitting on her fork, it would all go in one bite easily. I thought “you are being on slow on purpose” I thought “you are keeping that bit so you don’t have to get my tintin, its so you can say you are still eating so you can go on talking and talking with Gus, its so you can do his ears” and suddenly something happened. I felt so cross, I could feel it in my stomack and arms, it was in my teeth, it was like it might lift me right up, and I thought “I wonder what will happen now” I thought “I wonder what I will do?”
I looked at Jemima, her eyes were going funny like she would go to sleep in her chair, and I thought “I think I will wake you up” so I said “Jemima, d’you want to come and play with Hermann?” which worked of course, her eyes went wide open straight away. When I got up from the table mum gave us a little smile so I thought “oh yes, your pleased we’re going away.” We went upstairs to our room, I got Hermann out, I let her hold him just for a bit, I let her change his water and put more food in his bowl, and when we finished I said “I’m going into Freddies room now to look at his poems and his funny pens but you can’t come, all right Jemima, because you will break them. You have to go back downstairs right now.” I thought “you’d better not follow me, Jemima, or it will be your fault.” But d’you know that’s just what she did, she ran straight after me, that was silly, so I warned her, I said “Jemima, I just told you that you couldn’t come in.”
It was funny standing in Freddies room without mum or Freddy, it was all quiet. I said to Jemima “you mustn’t touch any of Freddies funny pens, all right?” and d’you know what she did, she made her bad face and then she ran over and grabed one though I just said she mustn’t, that was stupid. I could see her hand was all inky now, so I said “Jemima, I just told you you mustn’t do that, now give that to me right now or I will hit you on the head with a pillow.” But she didn’t lisen at all, she just did her squeaking laugh and ran into the corner with her back to me so I couldn’t get the pen off her. I thought “I warned you Jemima” so I got a pillow from Freddies bed and I went up and hit her on the head, but she just gigelled, and I noticed all of Freddies poemes on the walls were going “flap flap” because the pillow made a little breeze, I thought “look at those.”
After that I hit Jemima with the pillow again, which was because she wasn’t listening, and I said “don’t hit me with a pillow, Jemima, you really mustn’t all right” and d’you know that’s just what she did, she just dropped her quil and then ran over to Fred-dies bed and got one. I thought “uhoh you’ve made it all inky with your hand Jemima, now that will be staned forever.” I thought “uhoh, what bad thing will she do next?” I thought “I must stop her” so I said “whatever you do you mustn’t do this” and I hit the wall a bit with my pillow. It was just to make her see what she mustn’t do, but some of the poemes fell down, it was an accident, I thought “that silly Chrismas Bear didn’t stick them on properly, he should have used more selotape.”
Now Jemima did something really bad, she hit another wall and it wasn’t an accident at all, it was on purpose, so suddenly lots of poems came off. I said “look what you’ve done” I thought “I will stop her now” and I tried to get her pillow off her by hitting it with my pillow, I think I hit a few poemes by mistake, but it didn’t work anyway, because she was holding her pillow too tight. I thought “you are so bad, Jemima” because now there were poems everywhere, they were flying in the air and they were all over the floor, it was like it was raining poems, but it was Jemima who jumped up and down on them, I didn’t do that, I only trod on a few because I was trying to stop her, they were all slippy and scrunchey under my feet.
I thought “I know, I will stop her in a different way” so I ran out of Freddys room. I had to take my pillow because she took hers but I didn’t want to fight any more, I said “stop it Jemima” but she wouldn’t, she followed me right into Guses room, so it was her fault his books got knocked off the shelf. I said “Jemima no” and I ran down the stairs, I just threw away my pillow, I said “don’t hit me Jemima” but she didn’t listen. She was squeeking like she thought “I can really get him now” she was gigelling like she would go “pop” and when we ran into the dining room she hit me on my arm but then she saw them all staring at us and her mouth went open like a fish.
Mum looked like a big bee just stung her, she stopped talking to Gus dog, and d’you know what she said, that wasn’t fair, she said “Lawrence what are you doing.” I thought “how dare you mum” I said “it wasn’t me, it was Jemima” I said “look I haven’t even got a pillow.” But Jemima is a big cheet, she is a liar, her lips wobbled and she started crying, so I thought “you are trying to win just by crying” I thought “no you don’t” and I said “she was the one who knocked down Freddies poemes.” Now Freddy got stung by a bee, he jumped up from his chair and mum said “Lawrence what have you done” which was stupid, because didn’t I just tell her it was Jemima? Everything went quiet, Freddy ran upstairs and then there was a kind of moan, he found his poems, so I thought “now you will know you must use more selotape.”
Marther gave mum a look, it was like she was a bit pleased actually, that was funny, and she said “Hannah if you want to stay in our house then you must keep your children under controll” and mum looked like she would go double triple “pop” she would just burst, she said “Lawrence and Jemima, you will both say your sorry right now” and d’you know I knew just what to say, it just came into my head, I said it before Jemima could say anything, I thought “this is the right thing” I said “I don’t like you mum, I really hate you” and then I ran up to the bath room before she could get me and I locked the door.
Mum came up lots of times, she banged on the door with her hand “thump thump thump” and she shouted that I must let her in right this moment, Lawrence, I must say I’m sorry and help clear up this dam mess, but I didn’t say anything, I just sat on the floor next to the key hole so I could hear. First they went into Guses room and mum said “I’m so sorry about all this Marther, really I am, he’s never like this usually” but Marther was still cross, she said “we really can’t have this sort of behavior, we are artists here, we need our peace and quiet.” Jemima tried to clean up a bit, I could hear her saying “where does this go?” so I thought “you won’t be much use.” Then I heard Gus but he wasn’t angry actually, he was joking, he said “my rooms pre-recked, I can’t see much difference” so I thought “why aren’t you cross now, go on, be cross, I don’t like you Gus.”
After that they all went up to Freddies room, they were quieter because it was upstairs but I could still hear them, mum did a kind of shreek, she said “oh god, I can’t believe this.” I couldn’t hear what Freddy said but his voice wasn’t cross actually, it sounded like he was telling mum “don’t get too angry with him” so I thought “thank you Chrismas bear.” Then a strange thing happened. It was like my crossness started going away. It was like when you have a bath and you let all the water go down the plug hole but you don’t get out, you are still sitting there and suddenly you just feel cold. I thought “someone will want to go to the loo soon but I don’t want to see any of them, I don’t want to open the door, so I will get stuck in here” I thought “uhoh, what will I do?” But they were still talking upstairs, they weren’t coming down yet, so then I thought “I will just go right now.” I opened the door and I ran upstairs carefully, I didn’t make any noise. I could see Guses foot and the bottom of his leg sticking out of Freddies door but it didn’t move, he didn’t look round, so I just ran into our room, I shut the door really quietly, I got into my pijamers and I got into the bed, then I shut my eyes so it was like I had been asleep for hours.
Eventually the door opened, I heard Jemima say “look mum theres Lawrence” and I thought “uhoh, mum will shout at me now, this will be bad” but she didn’t, she didn’t say anything, I thought “that’s funny.” I didn’t move at all, I could hear mum getting Jemima in her pijamas, she said “there you are lamikin” I felt the bed go down when they got in, and then mum switched the light off. Jemima went to sleep really quick like she always does, but then just when I thought “hurrah hurrah, I am all right after all” mum said in a wisper “Lawrence, I know your awake” so I thought “oh no, here it comes.” I thought “her voice will be like a stick” but it wasn’t at all, that was strange. It wasn’t cross or sad or nice or anything, it was just nothing, it was like she was saying “oh yes we need to get some more milk” or “what dyou want for your breakfast?” But it was funny, because it was even worse because she wasnt cross after all, I thought “I wish you were just shouting actually” I thought “you really hate me now.”
Mum said “I’m sorry about what happened at Cloudios Lawrence” but she didn’t sound sorry, she sounded like I was her enimy now. I thought “now I will be cross again, its my turn” but it didn’t work, I just thought “this is dreadfull, everybody hates me, I bet even Jemima hates me except she is asleep.” Mum was quiet for a long time so I thought “has she gone to sleep too?” but then she said “theres something you should know, Lawrence. When I lived here years ago Cloudio and me were very close, I hadn’t met your father then and he hadn’t met Chintsier. In fact he wanted us to get married, but I didn’t want to marry him, and that made him very sad.” I thought “I’m glad” I thought “you leave my mum alone, Cloudio from ages ago before I was born, you just go away and be sad.” Mum said “but I never thought he still liked me like that now. When you saw us I was just trying to tell him no, Cloudio, this is imposible.” I thought “no you werent, mum that’s a big lie” and it was like I wanted to cry, I said “but you put your fingers on his ears, I saw it.” But mum just went on in her nothing voice, she said “I was just trying to stop him from getting more upsit.”
