Tainted Frost, page 11
At long last, I am dressed and standing in front of Natalie’s full-length mirror.
“I look pretty amazing,” I say, inspecting myself from every angle.
“Duh,” Nat says, nodding approvingly. I’m wearing dark skinny jeans, a fitted black sweater, and a pair of black high-heeled leather boots that swallow my legs up all the way to the knee. Nat also cinched a studded leather belt around my waist, nearly knocking the wind out of me.
“And when I put on makeup I’ll look even more --
“Amazing? Yes, I know. You always look cute, and when you dress up you look even cuter, you know that.”
“Yeah, but still…” There’s something about these boots—they’re sexy. They make me look sexy. And feel sexy. They make me imagine Alex’s body pressed against mine. His lips hovering close.
Natalie comes and stands beside me, looking at my reflection with a satisfied smile on her face. “You look hot.”
“Thank you.”
“Now it’s my turn to get hot.” She sticks her tongue out at me and walks over to her vanity. She has a very elaborate contouring process that took her years of practice to perfect. I keep things more casual with just some blush, eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. The mascara makes my eyes look big, the blush makes my cheeks look slightly flushed, and I figure I’m good.
I don’t think I’m gorgeous or anything like that, but I also don’t hate my face.
I sit back and watch as Natalie dots dark and light colors all over her face in an intricate pattern, then blends, blends, blends until all the colors have melted into each other.
“Beautiful work,” I tell her.
“Thanks.”
She smiles at herself in the mirror. She’s wearing black tights and navy blue velvet over-the-knee boots that are even sexier than mine. A plaid pleated skirt and slightly off-shoulder black sweater complete the look. “We’re ready. And the boys better be ready for us.”
We’re the first people to arrive at Joanna’s party even though Natalie insisted we be thirty minutes late. “Fashionably late,” she said. “So we can make a grand entrance.” I know the grand entrance was meant for the boys, and maybe some of the girls, but none of them are here yet, so our only audience ends up being a frantic Joanna and her equally frantic parents.
“Where is everybody?” Joanna says, tugging on Natalie’s sleeve, and looking between the two of us like we’re responsible for everyone’s absence.
“Sweetheart, relax, they’ll be here soon,” her mother, Mrs. Richards, says. “They’re just running late.”
“Oh, right mom, like there’s so much to do in this town that you can afford to miss a party,” Joanna says. “They should’ve been camped outside my door the past two days so they could be the first ones in!”
Nat and I exchange a look.
“You have such a lovely home, Mrs. Richards,” Natalie says in her good-girl voice. I nod mutely, taking in the high ceilings, plush white couches and giant fireplace with the stuffed moose head hanging above it. The Richardses used to live in a modest two-story house like mine, but then one of Mr. Richards’s relatives died, leaving him a ton of money, and they moved into this huge place in the nicer part of town overlooking Haven Lake.
“Thank you, Natalie. Why don’t you two have a seat while we wait?”
“No,” Joanna says. “We’re going to the rec room. That’s where the party’s gonna be. We’re not gonna stand around here like idiots waiting for everyone to show up.” She grabs our hands and drags us down a long corridor.
“This place is humongonormous,” Natalie whispers to me. I just nod again, looking at all the family portraits as they blur past me—Joanna and her parents dressed all in white on a beach somewhere with the sun setting behind them; Joanna and her mom in matching floral print dresses and daisies in their hair, smiling so wide their faces look like they might crack; and another portrait with Joanna, her parents and her brother all dressed in matching denim outfits, their feet bare.
The rec room is probably bigger than the entire first floor of my house. There are loveseats and leather armchairs pressed up against the walls, a pool table in the center of the room, a pinball machine in one corner, and a bar in the back lined with bowls of chips. I notice all the alcohol has been removed and replaced with soda. Joanna throws herself down on one of the leather loveseats and crosses her legs, jiggling her foot rapidly. She takes her phone out and starts texting furiously. I want to comfort her but I don’t know what to say. It is kind of weird that no one’s here yet. Natalie walks over to the bar, grabs a Dorito chip from one of the many bowls, inspects it then tosses it into her mouth, chewing with a thoughtful look on her face.
“This place is perfect,” she says. “It’s basically party heaven.”
“Tell me about it,” I whisper, glancing over at Joanna. “I had no idea they had a pool table and pinball machine.”
“I didn’t either, but now I know exactly how to initiate a conversation with Gary. He just better be here tonight.”
“He will,” I assure her.
Joanna gets up in a huff and goes over to the bar, pouring herself a Coke and spilling most of it on the counter.
“I can’t believe this sh—“
“Honey, your guests are here!” Mrs. Richards’s voice floats down from the corridor. Joanna straightens up, pushing her Coke away, and walks toward the corridor with her head held high. “Hey, guys!”
People flood the room: Jessica and Marina, arm in arm, then David followed by Jared followed by Zack and Gary. Matilda, the alleged Anonymous Asshole, walks in with a group of girls from school. Joanna instructs them all where to place their coats. Zack, Gary, and Jared immediately head toward the pool table. Marina ignores me while Jessica gives a weak smile. David makes a beeline to me.
“Hey,” he says.
“Where were you?” I ask.
“Guy stuff.”
“Do I even wanna know?”
“You don’t.”
He waves to Natalie, all casual like she wasn’t the first thing he spotted when he walked in. She comes over to us, bringing the bowl of Doritos with her.
“Care for some Nacho Cheese?” she asks, holding the bowl up to David’s face. He quirks an eyebrow then takes one, munching. “Thanks.”
I glance toward the corridor, looking for Alex, imagining him walking in with his hands in his pockets, seeing me and smiling. David takes a handful of Doritos while Natalie hugs the bowl to her chest. “Aren’t these so addictive?” she asks. He nods. But I know it’s not the chips he finds addictive.
More people come in—the guys high-fiving or doing complicated handshakes and the girls squealing like they haven’t seen each other in ages. Alex is not among them. I notice Marina sitting on the couch, facing the corridor, oblivious to Jessica’s incessant chatter. She’s watching for him too.
“Yo, David,” Gary calls. “Come here, it’s you and me against these two.” He points with his cue stick at Jared and Zack. David stuffs some Doritos in his mouth and walks over to join them, wiping his hands on his jeans. Nat sighs as Gary passes David a cue and chalk.
“What’s your plan for talking to Gary?”
“I’m gonna beat him at pool. Next round.”
Nat’s really talented at hitting balls with a stick. One time she even hustled this older dude at the bar her parents used to own, and then we had to run like hell when her dad found out about it.
“That’s genius,” I tell her.
“Oh, I know. Meanwhile, I’ll just be eating all these Doritos to get my energy up.”
I laugh then stop abruptly when I spot Matilda strutting over to us, one hand on her hip. She has a short red bob and a dimply round face, and she carries herself with an air of superiority usually reserved for the head cheerleader types. She’s wearing a very short and tight fuchsia tube dress over black leggings. “I just want you guys to know that my party is gonna be so much better than this,” she says with a smirk, one deep dimple revealing itself.
Nat tosses another chip in her mouth. “Really.”
“Hell yeah. I’m gonna have a DJ.” She pauses for effect. “And alcohol.”
“Your parents are not gonna let you have any alcohol,” Nat says.
“They’re not gonna be home,” Matilda says, tossing her hair and looking very satisfied with herself. “They’re going to some potluck dinner party thing. And they’re not coming home until late. Very late.”
“Where’d you find a DJ?” I ask.
“My brother’s friend. I’m giving him, like, fifty bucks for the night. He needs all the work he can get. Oh, by the way, Anna, I heard you’re dating Alex now. Congrats.” She smirks in this way that makes me want to crawl inside my sweater and never come out.
“I’m not dating him. We were just grabbing a bite at Jerry’s.” Somehow, though, despite wanting to disappear, I manage to sound cool and collected.
Matilda smirks again and grabs a chip from Natalie’s bowl. “Sure. I’m gonna go mingle, but I’ll see you guys later.”
Once she’s out of earshot, I lean close and whisper to Natalie. “Did you hear her ask about Alex?”
“Yes. I’m not deaf, you know.”
“Was my explanation convincing?”
“You told the truth. If she can’t or won’t believe it, then that’s her problem. Also, now I’m even more sure she’s Anonymous Asshole.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s just – she’s just not very nice.”
“She obviously didn’t believe me about Alex.”
“Well, rumors are usually more exciting than the truth, so people tend to cling to them. But you did good. Say the same thing to anyone else who asks, but don’t bring it up yourself, ‘cause then people will think there’s some truth to it.”
I stare at her in awe. “Damn. You’re good.”
“One of my many talents.” She flutters her lashes.
“Tell me about it. I can’t wait till you kick Gary’s butt at pool.”
“I don’t know. He’s pretty good actually.”
“Either way, you guys will be interacting.”
“Yeah.” She gazes over at him wistfully then looks away.
The rec room is almost at capacity. I’ve been keeping one eye at the entrance this whole time and there’s been no sign of Alex. Even if he had somehow slipped my attention, I would’ve known he’d come in because at least half the people here would’ve called his name and rushed over to say hi. I feel bummed, but I always have a good time with David and Natalie, so after a while I stop looking for Alex in every face and just relax, remembering my mom telling me to have fun.
The pool table is surrounded by people, with some of them placing bets on who’ll win. Nat and I stand off to the corner and watch. Gary keeps sinking balls in, and there are only a few left after just a few minutes. The game will be over soon.
“Okay,” Nat says, “before I go over there, I think I need to freshen up my makeup.”
“Naturally.”
“Come with me to the bathroom.”
There’s a long wait for the bathroom so we sneak off upstairs to Joanna’s room. It’s huge, with a four-poster bed right in the middle. She has an ornate white wood vanity table with large light bulbs framing the entire mirror.
“Oh my goodness,” Nat says when she sees it. “That’s a masterpiece. That’s exactly the kind of lighting I wanted on my vanity, but it was too expensive.”
“It’s like something a movie star would have.”
“Exactly.” She takes a seat on the plush white quilted stool before it and removes her makeup from her bag. Powder, blush, and lipstick are carefully reapplied. “Got my war paint on right,” she says, eyeing herself from every angle, “and I’m ready.”
She hands me her makeup and I freshen up as well, thinking of Alex. Of the moment he’ll walk in and see me and maybe his face will light up a little.
“Let’s do this,” Nat says, straightening her shoulders and standing tall. She tosses her hair. Battle-ready.
“You’re gonna slay.”
“Obviously.”
Back at party central, Gary is setting up the billiard balls in the triangle. Some guys are hanging around him with cue sticks in their hands, waiting. Nat marches right over to them. I follow a couple of feet behind.
“Can we play?” Nat asks, tossing her hair and pointing to me.
For a moment, Gary looks surprised, then nods, “Sure.”
“Me and Anna against you and David,” she says before he has a chance to suggest a different lineup.
“Sure,” he says again. He looks down at Nat’s skirt, at her long legs in those killer boots. He sees me watching him and averts his eyes.
“All right,” he says, clearing his throat. “Grab your sticks. The chalk is right there.”
For the rest of the game, he avoids eye contact with me, avoids even looking in my direction. It’s a close game. Nat and Gary hit more balls than David and I combined. It basically becomes a silent game between the two of them by the end. David and I step aside to let them finish.
“They didn’t even need us,” David says.
“We helped. I hit like two balls.”
David gives me a look. “Two whole balls.”
“Shut up.”
It’s finally down to the 8-ball. Half the room has converged around the pool table to see who will emerge victorious.
I search for Alex among them. It’s been hours already and my heart drops at the thought that he’s probably not coming.
Gary sinks the 8-ball, the cue ball following closely behind and stopping right at the edge of the pocket. There is a collective sigh of relief from everyone watching.
Nat smiles. “Good game.”
“Good game. You’re not bad.”
“Yeah, you’re not so bad yourself.” She puts the cue stick back against the wall and walks away, the pleats of her skirt swaying.
We exchange meaningful looks as she reaches David and me.
“I need a drink,” she says.
“Hate to break it to you but there’s no alcohol,” David says.
“It’s okay. I just want a Coke.” Nat grabs my forearm and leads me to the bar. She gives me a can of Coke and takes one for herself. Her hands are shaking.
“Are you okay?”
She lets out a breath. “I was a nervous wreck the whole time. Did it show?”
“No. You were a regular pool shark. Is that what they’re called? Anyway, you were cooler than a cucumber fresh out the fridge.”
“I talked to him,” she says. “It wasn’t for at least five minutes though.”
“You guys played for like 20 minutes. Shouldn’t that count for something?”
“The rules are clear, Anna. I have to talk to him for at least five minutes.”
“Well, you’re making progress.”
“Yeah.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess.”
Then she shakes herself and takes a deep sip of her drink. “Actually, I read this thing recently about how focusing on the process is more important than being fixated on the goal itself. So, yeah, I should be proud of myself for making progress. Baby steps. Baby steps become toddler steps become whatever-comes-after-toddler steps, and before you know it, I’m stepping like a real adult.”
“Adult steps.”
“Yep.”
I see Marina and Jessica on the other end of the room, looking at me and whispering. Nat sees them too.
“Ignore them,” she says.
“They’re talking about me.”
“Well, duh. You’d think they’d be a little more subtle about it.”
I play with the tab on the top of my Coke can, twisting it until it snaps off. “They saw me and Alex at Jerry’s this morning.”
“What? You didn’t tell me that!”
I don’t say anything; I can’t even look her in the eyes. Nat frees my hands of the Coke can so I’ll stop fidgeting. “Anna. Look at me.”
I sigh and look at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me that they saw you?” she asks. “They’re obviously the ones that started the rumor.”
“I honestly don’t think Marina would do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it would be embarrassing. For her. And Jessica is her best friend so she wouldn’t do it either. Right?”
Nat twists a strand of hair around her finger, considering this. “I don’t know. The evidence against them is strong.”
I look back in Marina’s direction. She’s not looking at me anymore, but her friends have formed a circle around her, like they’re protecting her from me, and once in a while some of them will glance at me in this unnerving way. I can feel them judging me, and it’s making me nauseous.
“Ignore them,” Natalie says again. She takes my hand again, and I let her lead me away.
Close to midnight people start to leave in groups and the crowd dwindles down. Almost everyone is gone, and Alex never came. I look down at the high-heeled black boots on my feet. They feel too tight and I can’t wait to take them off. I’m exhausted, and the warm fuzzies I was feeling earlier have fizzled. When I get home, I pull off the boots and toss them on the floor. My mom left the kitchen light on for me, but I immediately shut it off, grateful for the darkness that hides the photos of my father, keeps his eyes from following my every move.
I crawl up the stairs in the dark, enter my room, and change into my pajamas. My window is frosted around the edges, but I can still see the woods and the moon veiled by wisps of clouds, the silhouette of mountains in the distance. I press my palm against the window and just stand there for a while, knowing he won’t come tonight, but waiting for him nonetheless.
Chapter 14
The snowflakes melt seconds after they touch my gloves. When I was younger, I would collect them in a cup and look at them through a magnifying glass, trying in vain to see their unique, crystallized forms, and then they would melt, and I’d be left with this deep sense of disappointment. Now I just like the way the flakes pile on top of each other, creating soft, fluffy mounds. I guess I’ve lowered my expectations considerably.
