Five Hundred Miles From Friona, page 18
Dani’s phone rings sometime later. I sit up and listen to her side of the conversation. She ends the call and tells us that the guys are at the hospital. The emergency room staff told them that Brandon had been taken into surgery. I see the Austin city limits sign just ahead of us on the right. I’m almost there, cowboy.
•••
Rachel calls Jake when we pull in to the parking lot at the hospital. He tells her that Mark and Dean will meet us at the main entrance. After what seems like another thirty minutes, Dani finally finds a place to park and we pile out of the car. My throat is so tight it feels like it’s going to explode. I’m scared to death of what we’re going to find when we get inside, but I’ve got to get to Brandon. He’s the only reason I’m here, and I have to see for myself that he’s going to be okay.
Mark and Dean are standing on the sidewalk in front of the building. They wear identical somber looks, their mouths set in firm, flat lines, gray-blue eyes clouded with worry. Mark’s gaze fixes on Dani, but Dean’s eyes follow me as if he expects me to lose it any minute. I think he may feel sorry for me the same way I felt sorry for him this morning.
I refuse to cry in front of them. Taking a deep breath, I follow Dean through the automatic doors, across the antiseptic, white-tiled lobby to the elevator. I lay my head against the cool wall while we ride up to the floor where the surgical waiting room is located. I sense Dean watching me. His hand brushes mine, like he wants to comfort me, but quickly pulls back when Rachel grabs my other hand.
My stomach is in my throat by the time the elevator doors open. We walk into the waiting room where I spot Jake, who is sitting in a corner by himself. He’s slumped over with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He looks up and I see that he has a large bruise on his left cheek. There’s also a bloody scrape on his chin. His eyes are red, and his face is streaked with tear stains. He gets up and walks straight over to me, pulling me into a hug. Rachel puts her arms around both of us.
I don’t want to cry, but Jake is making it hard for me to choke down the wad of emotion clogging my throat. “He’ll be okay, Jake. Right?”
“He’s… It’s bad.” Jake takes a shuddering breath in my ear. “It’s all my fault. God, I didn’t mean to shoot him.”
“It was an accident, baby,” Rachel says as she kisses his bruised cheek.
“The gun…went off and he…he f-flipped the ATV.” His shoulders shake as tears roll down his face. And mine.
What Jake said on the phone is coming back to me now. Something about how Mark had flushed a sow and her piglets out of some brush near the edge of the river. He was following Jake and Brandon on another ATV while they chased the pigs. Jake was raising his rifle to take a shot at the sow when Brandon hit a bump or rocks or something. Somehow the shot hit Brandon in the leg and he lost control of the ATV, flipping it over on the edge of the river. I don’t have the energy to ask Jake to repeat the story while we’re so upset, but right now I’m not worried about how it happened, anyway; I’m just worried about Brandon.
Rachel guides us to some chairs and makes us sit down. Jake pulls Rachel into his lap and lays his head against her shoulder while I begin to slowly pull myself together. Of course, I wasn’t there, but it doesn’t sound as bad as Jake’s making it out to be. The doctors will fix Brandon up and he’ll be fine.
Dani and Mark ask us if we want something to drink. Jake says no, but Rachel and I ask them to get us some water. Dean, who has been silent since we arrived, goes with them. After they’ve gone, Rachel slides off of Jakes lap and kneels in front of him. “Did they tell you anything when you got to the emergency room?”
Jake rubs his eyes and shakes his head. “Only that he hadn’t regained consciousness, and that a neurosurgeon was assessing his head injury. They told us to wait up here until he was out of surgery but to expect a long wait.”
Neurosurgeon? I don’t remember Jake saying anything about a head injury; he only told me about the gunshot to Brandon’s leg. Didn’t he? I wish I could remember. “What happened to his head, Jake?”
“We hit the rocks when the ATV flipped. I landed on top of him.” Jake chokes up again. “I couldn’t… He was unconscious.”
“Was his head bleeding?” I squeak.
Jake rubs his hand over his face, sighing loudly. “No, but I couldn’t do anything, couldn’t wake him up. The EMT guy said he opened his eyes in the ambulance, but Brandon was unconscious at the hospital in Llano. That’s when they called the air ambulance, and I called Rachel. We headed to Austin as soon as they took off.”
I can’t let myself believe it’s as bad as Jake says. He’s probably scared because he saw Brandon when it happened and blames himself. My eyes move to the scrape on his chin. “Are you hurt?”
“Just some bruises and scrapes,” he answers. Rachel narrows her eyes at him. I can’t help but wonder if he’s playing down his injuries for her sake.
Dean, Mark, and Dani return with bottled water for me and Rachel along with a soft drink for Jake, even though he said he didn’t want anything. Dean sits next to me. He still hasn’t said a word since we’ve been here. I guess he doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything. Or maybe after what happened to his parents he doesn’t handle traumatic experiences very well. Who could blame him, though? Mark seems okay, although he’s still somber. He and Dani are sitting across from us, holding hands, occasionally whispering to each other. I can’t hear what they’re saying.
The six of us sit in silence. Everyone is occupied with their thoughts or their phones, and I’m getting anxious. Why hasn’t someone told us about Brandon? He has been at this hospital for almost three hours. Every time someone walks into the room, I expect them to be coming to tell us that Brandon is out of surgery and that he’s going to make a full recovery. But nobody comes, so we wait. And three hours later we’re still waiting.
Shortly after eight o’clock, Brandon’s parents and Kylie walk in with Jake’s dad, Gary. All three of the adults are pale with grim, tired looks on their faces. I can’t even imagine how worried the Kirks must be, especially after what they went through with Blake.
Kylie runs to me and gives me a hug. Holding back tears, I get up to hug Brandon’s mom and dad. They want to know if we’ve heard anything about Brandon.
“No,” I tell them. “Have you?”
Steve runs his hand through his hair, just like Brandon does. “We’ve talked to the doctor’s PA. The last we heard they were doing a craniotomy to get to the bleeder.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, directing my eyes to Karen, who looks like she’s about to crater.
“He has a subdural hematoma,” Steve says. “There’s bleeding between the brain and the skull. They had to remove part of his skull to get to where they could stop the bleeding.”
Oh my God. This is so bad. I feel my knees wobble, so I step backwards toward the chairs. Jake’s dad takes my elbow and eases me into a seat. I glance at Jake. He’s sitting in the same chair, staring at the floor with his hands clasped between his knees. I know he hasn’t spoken to his dad since before our high school graduation, but if there’s ever been a time to get over it, this is it.
Jake’s dad goes over to the coffee pot and pours two cups. He brings them to Karen and Steve, who are now seated on either side of me, and then heads straight for Jake. As he approaches, Jake stands up and crumples into his dad’s arms. Jake is crying again, telling his dad that the accident was his fault. Rachel is crying too, but she’s hiding her face, trying not to let anyone see. I feel like I’m butting in on their private family matter, so I turn to Karen. “How’d you get here?”
“Gary, bless his heart, chartered a plane out of Amarillo,” Karen says. “If we’d waited on a commercial flight, we couldn’t have gotten here until tomorrow.”
“I’m glad you’re here. Brandon will want to see you when he gets out of surgery.”
Karen’s eyes look doubtful, but she pats my hand.
Dean, Mark and Dani come over to meet Brandon’s parents. Mark makes the introductions. Dean just nods, and Dani asks if she can take Kylie downstairs to the cafeteria for ice cream. Dani is so sweet. I can’t believe I didn’t want to like her when we first met. Was that only yesterday? Now I feel like I’ve known her forever.
“Sure,” Steve says, looking toward Kylie, who’s playing with a phone. “It looks like we’re going to have a long night.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet.
Dani waves her hand toward Steve. “It’ll be my treat. I’ll see if I can entertain her for a little while.”
Soon after Dani and Kylie leave, someone wearing scrubs enters the waiting room and calls out, “Brandon Kirk”. Karen jumps out of her chair and practically runs toward the man dressed in green scrubs. The rest of us follow, except for Dean, who stands but hangs like a shadow in the background.
My stomach is in my throat again. I was hoping for good news, but I’m afraid this man is about to tell us something we don’t want to hear. When we’re all gathered around, the man introduces himself as Dr. Weiss, Brandon’s neurosurgeon. Karen and Steve introduce themselves as Brandon’s parents, while the rest of us remain silent. Gary has his arm around Jake and Jake has his arm around Rachel. Mark stands next to them, and I’m next to Brandon’s mother, shaking like a leaf.
“Brandon has been in the recovery room for about ninety minutes,” the doctor begins. “He remains comatose.”
Comatose. That word chills me to the bone.
It’s really bad and I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to face the reality of what has happened. Needing to escape this place, I go back in my mind to last night. I close my eyes as I see Brandon’s face and hear his voice. Every time my heart beats and every time I breathe, it’s for you.
Unfortunately, I can still hear bits and pieces of what the doctor is saying.
Brain damage…
I want to put my hands over my ears and hum loudly so I can block out what he has to say.
Brandon wants to marry me. I knew as soon as I kissed you.
The next twenty-four hours will be critical…
We’re going to have three kids and animals. Lots of animals! I love you.
Traumatic brain injury…
Bye, baby.
My heart is shattered into razor-sharp, jagged pieces. They’re stabbing my chest from the inside out, slicing me, making me bleed. I’m dying a million slow deaths, and there’s not one thing I can do about it.
Brandon’s dad’s deep voice jerks me back into this living color nightmare. “When can we see him?” Steve asks, tucking Karen close to his side.
The doctor releases a sigh as he scans all of our faces. “As I said, the next twenty-four hours are going to be critical for your son, Mr. Kirk. I will leave orders for you and your wife to go in for a few minutes after they get him settled into a room.”
“What about his leg?” Jake asks, rubbing his fingers across his mouth.
“You’ll have to talk to Dr.—” He looks at his tablet again“—Dr. Mayes. She’s the surgeon who worked on his leg. I’ll ask my PA, Michael, to have her talk to you as soon as she is available. From what I was told, his leg will be fine. I believe only muscle and tissue were affected; no injuries to the bone, no permanent damage.”
Jake gives the doctor a tight-lipped nod then quickly averts his gaze to the floor. I notice Gary patting Jake’s shoulder. I hope that means they’ve put their issues behind them.
“Any other questions?” Dr. Weiss asks.
Squaring my shoulders, I step forward. “I’d like to see Brandon tonight.”
Karen squeezes my hand and nods at the doctor. He taps his tablet. “All right. Ten minutes. The ICU waiting room is on the fifth floor; you all can go on up and wait there.” He looks at Steve. “We have your phone numbers. My PA or I will keep you updated.”
Steve shakes his hand and thanks him. The doctor makes his exit, and I find the closest chair, which happens to be next to Dean. I hear Gary tell Karen and Steve that he’s going to book some rooms at a nearby hotel.
Mark asks Dean if he and Dani can stay with Aaron and Cooper. Dean picks up his phone and speaks the only words I’ve heard come out of his mouth since this morning. “Coop, I’m sending Mark and Dani over to stay with you.” There’s a pause, then he says, “Huh-uh, she won’t leave. I’ll stay here with her.” He looks over at me and I quickly look away. I don’t want him to think I’m eavesdropping, even though I am. But I want to hug him because I’m relieved that somebody will be here with me.
Rachel sits down on the other side of me and asks me to come to the hotel with them, adding that I can stay with her. “No, Rach, I’m staying here tonight.”
“There’s nothing you can do for Brandon tonight,” she insists. “Come to the hotel with us after you see him.” She begs me with her eyes. “Please. You can take a shower and get some sleep.”
I shake my head stubbornly. “You know I won’t get any sleep. I want to be here, and I think Dean’s staying, too.” I whisper the last part, hoping he can’t hear me.
She leans forward and looks at Dean. “Are you staying here tonight?”
“I figured Leanne wouldn’t want to be by herself,” he says, shifting his eyes to me.
“I’ll be okay if you want to get some sleep,” I tell him.
The corners of his mouth turn up in a sincere but solemn smile. “I don’t sleep much. I’ll stay if you don’t mind some company.”
“Thanks, Dean. I appreciate it.” More than you know.
Rachel clasps my hand. “Okay. If you decide you want to come to the hotel, just call me. Jake and I can come get you—” She glances at Dean “—uh, both of you. His dad has a rental car.”
“You’re not leaving yet, are you?” I’m sure I have a panicked look on my face. “Rach, please wait until we see Brandon.”
She stands and pulls me to my feet. Dean gets up too. “We’ll stay,” she says. “Mark’s calling Dani to tell her to bring Kylie up to the fifth floor. Come on.”
All of us get on the elevator to go up to the ICU waiting room. We’re greeted by Kylie when the doors open. “Dani and I went shopping in the gift shop,” she says to me, and I see that she’s holding two bags. “I want to show you what we got.”
Dani is the only other person in the waiting room. She’s standing in front of a window staring at her phone. Turning her attention to us, she gives me the same smile that Dean gave me just a couple of minutes ago: sincere but somber. It’s like their mouths are trying to be happy, but the rest of their bodies, especially their eyes, won’t let them go there yet. I know how they feel; I don’t have any happiness in me either.
Chapter Twenty-five
Brandon
No, Brandon, it’s not time.
Blake, I swear, if you don’t stop shoving me, I’m gonna kick your butt.
He smiles and fades into a bright whiteness.
Wait, don’t go; I want to talk to you.
He doesn’t answer, but I hear him laugh. His laugh is the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard: chimes, piano notes, bells…
I’m suddenly alone, surrounded by black.
Chapter Twenty-six
Leanne
Kylie is hopping from one foot to the other, wanting me to see what she and Dani bought in the gift shop. I sit on the floor with her as she takes items, one at a time, out of the first bag and shows them to me. “Here’s the dinosaur I got for Brandon.” She holds up a cute little green dinosaur with white felt spikes running down his back and tail. “He likes dinosaurs. It’s a beanbag,” she says, tossing it to me.
My heart and mind are with Brandon; the rest of my body is on autopilot. It’s all I can do to pay attention to his little sister while she explains each item, including some kind of paper dolls with plastic clothes that cling to their bodies, some candy, potato chips and a kids’ book of word puzzles. When she gets to the bottom of the last bag, she proudly holds up a travel toothbrush and toothpaste. “And we got all of y’all one of these ‘cause Dani said you didn’t bring your toothbrushes.”
“Thanks, Kylie.” I give her a hug and look over her shoulder at Dani. “Thank you, too, Dani, for everything.”
Dani rolls her eyes and flaps her hand as if to say it was nothing. But what she’s done for me, and for Kylie, is very much appreciated. I’m so thankful to have my friends here, but I wish Brandon was with me, or even my parents. Damn it. I’m suddenly reminded that I didn’t call home when we got to Austin.
I grab my purse and dig out my phone. The stupid thing has been off since I talked to my dad six hours ago! When I turn it on, I see that I have several missed calls from our landline in Friona. Crap! When I try the number, my mother answers and I have to fight to keep from going off on a crying jag. “I’m sorry, Mom; I didn’t realize my phone was turned off.”
“It’s okay, but we were worried about you and Brandon, honey. How is he?”
“We haven’t gotten to see him yet. The doctor said his parents and I could see him when they got him in the ICU. We’re all in the ICU waiting room but they haven’t told us we can go in.” Tears well up and spill, so I walk out in the hall. “He… he’s in a c-coma.”
My mother’s voice goes up to soprano pitch. “How can he be in a coma from a gunshot wound to his leg?”
“When the gun went off, he lost control of the ATV he was driving; it flipped over and Brandon hit his head on some rocks. They had to do surgery on his head to stop the bleeding.”
