Lady Preacher, page 9
Chapter 11
Shante sat silently at the end of the long conference table, waiting for the board members to assemble. She greeted each one, but only a few returned her greeting; others talked quietly. This was a far cry from how they normally acted. Board meetings were usually friendly and upbeat. An air of fellowship would prevail. But not today. The air was thick with tension. No one seemed to be enjoying himself.
Shante looked at the assembly. She remembered how most of them were selected. After Pastor Anderson died, she had to reorganize the church structure. The board of her church was selected based on their relationship with God, their families, and the church. With the exception of three people, almost everyone on the board, which consisted of six deacons and six trustees, was selected by her. Their duties were divided; the trustees took care of the affairs of church administration and the deacons took care of the needs of the people. The two organizations came together once a month to discuss the total church program. Of all the people in the church, Shante felt they knew her best and could not understand why they would follow up on idle gossip. Finally, her thoughts were scattered when Tank entered the room.
“Hello, Pastor, how are you today?”
Trying to look confident, she replied, “I’m blessed.”
“Well, we’re about to get started. I’m going to get me some coffee. Do you want something to drink?” Tank asked.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
Tank crossed the room to the small table in the back and got his coffee. He then took his seat at the head of the table and informed the group that the meeting was now underway. He opened it with a prayer.
“As you know, we are here today to discuss some issues that have come up in our church. Pastor Dogan, we only want to hear your side. We have heard a lot of things lately. We know that it’s mostly rumors, but some of us want to hear what you’ve got to say about all the gossip. We’re going to try to make this meeting as short as possible. Pastor Dogan, we have the utmost confidence in you and your abilities. You have done some great things in our church, which has grown since you have been here. Membership has increased, and we have also acquired some choice real estate. Our church is well respected in the community, and we want to keep it that way. However, as I previously stated, there have been some rumors. Would you like to address them?”
“What rumors are you talking about?” she asked, trying to project a confident air.
“Let’s start with your sleeping around with men,” a less than friendly voice in the middle of the table called out.
“I don’t feel my personal life is really anyone’s business, but since this is a special meeting to discuss it, I will answer whatever questions you ask. I know my personal life can have an impact, good or bad, on this ministry. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt this church. To address your concern, I am not sleeping around. I don’t even have a boyfriend, unless you want to call the church my boyfriend. I’m here most of the time. I hardly have time for anything else,” she replied.
“We are not trying to call you promiscuous, but there have been rumors,” Deacon Curry said.
“What exactly are you talking about?”
“There was an incident at Hilton Head. Someone said you and a man were together.”
“Who said that? I spoke with a lot of men there. There were mostly men at the conference. None of them came to my room. Neither did I go to anyone’s room. It was a relaxing, successful conference—nothing out of the ordinary.”
“We are not spending the church’s money for you to go to these conferences and lay up with men,” Deaconess Sarah Turner said.
“I am offended by what you said. You’re calling me a whore to my face. I have tried to walk in the most righteous way I know how. I’ve been celibate for years, not because I haven’t had the opportunity, but because of my commitment to God.
“As for the church’s money, as you know, each year I have an independent auditor come in and audit the books. They have found nothing wrong. I don’t sign the checks alone. Everything goes through the finance secretary, treasurer, and chairman trustee. It takes two signatures to sign any check in this church. Each month, a copy of the church’s credit card and receipts are turned over to the finance secretary. I put all these safeguards in place so there would not be any question of money and how it is spent. I don’t use any church money for my personal expenses. All of you know that. I haven’t had a raise in three years. As for conferences that I attend, I spend my own money, or if I am asked to speak, the group sponsoring the conference usually pays the expenses. I don’t know how you can even say I’m spending the church’s money at these events.”
She could feel herself getting hot. She was outraged that these people actually believed the rumors. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. These people were not just board members; she considered them her friends. They had been through a lot together building up the church, and now they seemed to be turning on her. She tried to remain calm.
“Calm down, Pastor. Sarah, you were wrong in saying that. We’re not here to point fingers. We really don’t have any proof of, or direct knowledge of, anything except what Pastor just said. This meeting is a waste of our time. However, I know others of you have questions. Anyone else?” Tank asked.
“I have a question.”
“Yes, what is it, Deacon Morris?”
“I want to address something Pastor just said.” He turned and looked at Shante. “You haven’t had a raise in three years? Why?”
“Maybe she saved some of the money she made as a stripper,” another man in the back of the room said under his breath. However, Shante and everyone else heard it. She was livid. She rose to her feet, struggling to contain her fury.
“I have tried to be professional here. I can’t believe you said that,” she said to him. She paused and looked into the face of each person sitting around the table. To her, they all seemed to be waiting for her to act crazy. She decided she would not give them what they were expecting. Instead, she calmly said, “I don’t know how that rumor started. I heard it, too. I can’t believe any of you believe it. Most of you have known me several years. You know you can come to me and ask me anything.”
She sat back down. “I don’t sleep around, and I was never a stripper.” She looked at Deacon Morris. “I don’t know why I haven’t received a raise.”
“It never came up,” Deacon Curry offered, not waiting for her to say anything else.
“Yeah, Pastor never asked for one,” Tank said, after taking a long, deep breath.
“It appears to me that Pastor needs a raise. In the past three years, our membership has grown by at least five hundred members. I know with this number of people, there is a lot more work for her to do. Am I right about this?” Deacon Morris asked Shante.
“My workload has increased. I’m counseling more people now. We’ve started new ministries. I have taken on a more active role in the community because of the growth of the church. Let’s not forget the changes in the IRS law that I have to keep up with and make sure the church complies with. It has been a lot of work. I hardly have time for myself. I haven’t had a vacation in a while. It is rare that I get to see Camille,” Shante said with a sigh, leaning back in her chair. It made her tired thinking about all the work she had to do.
“I think our pastor needs a raise,” Deacon Morris said.
“Me, too. She deserves it. I can’t believe we came here to listen to some mess. We have a good pastor. She’s a hard worker. She’s a woman of integrity. She has never given us reason to believe anything else. I want to make a motion that we give Pastor Dogan a raise,” Trustee Kerns said.
“I second the motion,” two voices in the back said before Tank could properly acknowledge the motion.
“Is there anyone opposing a raise for Pastor Dogan?” Tank asked. No one responded. Tank looked around the room. He looked at Shante. “I guess you have yourself a raise, Pastor. Congratulations.”
Shante sat at the table looking surprised. She was speechless. She could not believe she had come in to defend her reputation and God had given her a raise. She wanted to jump up and start praising God at that very moment. She tried to remain cool. She couldn’t wait to tell Gwen, Camille, and Max. She was ready to leave.
“We’ll discuss the amount of the raise at a later date. Pastor, let us know what you think a fair amount would be,” Tank said to Shante.
“I’ll pray about it and get back with you,” she said, about to jump out of her seat. She couldn’t believe she could name her own raise. She began to silently praise God for blessing her.
“In addition to the raise, I think we should re-state very clearly what is expected of her,” Deacon Curry added.
“Go ahead, state your piece,” Tank said, motioning for Deacon Curry to continue.
“Well, she should know we expect her to act as ladylike as she can so she will be a proper representative of this church. We also want her lifestyle to be one that reflects a woman of high Christian morals and integrity. She has a lot of programs in place with clear checks and balances in respect to finances, and we expect that to continue. If there is evidence that she isn’t living in a way that benefits this church, she could be relieved of her duties as pastor.”
“Wait a minute, Deacon Curry. You’re going too far. Are you threatening to fire her?” Tank asked.
“I can’t fire anybody. I just want her to know that people are watching her and there may be consequences to her actions. She needs to know that everyone in here is not happy with the decision that has been made. No one is saying anything because there is no proof of anything other than Pastor Dogan being a good leader. I can agree with that. She has been a good pastor and good for this church. I only want her to be careful. That’s all.”
“Yes, I understand. But, who in here is not happy with this decision?” Shante asked. No one said a word.
“Does anyone have anything to add to this discussion?” Tank asked, looking around the room.
“I do,” Trustee Makins said, standing up. “I just want to say I have confidence in Pastor. I believe she is a woman of integrity and good moral standards. I don’t believe any of the rumors. They are just that: rumors. I hope none of you are participating in any of them. That wouldn’t be Christian behavior. I want to commend Pastor for all the work she has done. I apologize to her on behalf of the board members for even putting her through this. I know it had to be hard for her. I believe she is an excellent pastor, and I hope she will stay on for years to come.” He began clapping at the end of his comments. Others joined him, standing and clapping. Shante wanted to be happy, but she could feel the enemy working in the room.
“Well, if no one has anything else to say, I think we will adjourn,” Tank said, wrapping up the meeting. “Pastor, don’t forget to give me your thoughts on the raise soon,” he reminded Shante.
“I will,” she replied.
The meeting was adjourned and everyone except Shante left the building. After locking the doors, she went into the sanctuary and began to praise God for working things out for her. She also prayed for strength in the face of the opposition that had clearly not gone away. She knew she had the victory. It had been manifested that day.
* * *
Shante was at her table looking through her mail as she spoke with Gwen on the phone. She was still basking in her victory at the board meeting. She had praised God all the way home. She knew the majority of her board was behind her and her position was secure—at least for the moment. She had to share the good news with someone. She thought about Max, but she was trying to separate herself from him. “They gave you a raise?” Gwen asked unbelievingly.
“Yes, and I get to name my own amount. Of course, it will be subject to negotiations, but I still will probably get a fat raise. I’m so happy, and I’m sure Camille will be, too.”
“And she’s in New York. She could have a ball there with your money. I am so happy for you, Shante. Have you told Max yet?”
“No, I’ve been trying to keep him at a distance since we returned from Asheville.”
“Why? That man loves you. I don’t know why you’re tripping.”
“Do you know how embarrassing it was to have Kevin come and my house all torn up? I felt so humiliated. I think I cried out of embarrassment.”
“Max is not thinking about that. Do you know that Ron had to stop him from going over to Kevin’s church and confronting him about you?”
“No, Gwen, he didn’t,” Shante shrieked. She placed her hands on her head. She couldn’t believe Max wanted to fight Kevin. She had come to accept that she could not continue her relationship with him, but she didn’t want to lose his friendship. She prayed silently to God for direction.
“If it weren’t for Ron, he would have. Max was so angry. I think he could have really hurt Kevin that day.”
“He didn’t act like it.”
“That’s because he was trying to be strong and supportive of you, Shante. He was angrier than I’ve ever seen him. You should have seen him.”
“See, that’s why I can’t get involved with him right now. I don’t want anyone else to be caught up in all that is happening in my life right now. Max is such a nice guy, and he’s still a nerd, even though he doesn’t know it.”
“True. But, Tay, you’re going to have to learn to open your heart. Although you give out love, you’ve got to learn how to receive it. How can you love others unconditionally if you’re afraid to allow yourself to be loved?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Then open your heart to love.”
“I’m open.”
“No, you’re not. The Bible says that perfect love doesn’t walk in fear. As long as you have fear, you’ll never be able to receive love.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Prove it. Give Max a chance. You said yourself, he’s a nice guy.”
“He is.”
“Then prove it.”
“Gwen, I have to go. I wanted to tell you about the meeting. I’ll talk to you later,” Shante said, hanging up.
How can she say that I’m afraid to be loved? I want to be loved. If I had to pick someone, Max would be the perfect guy. He’s kind, compassionate, successful, and saved. He’s my friend, and I don’t want him to get hurt. Besides, Max is a preacher. Seventy-five percent of his members are women. He has them chasing him all over the place. I don’t have time for that competition. I’ve got too much going on, and it doesn’t seem it will end anytime soon. Besides, the board wants me to be ‘ladylike’ and exhibit high Christian morals. I’ve really got to watch myself now. I can’t give even the appearance of wrongdoing.
Shante saw distancing herself from Max as the only option open to her—at least for now. It was too bad some people in the church can’t see that a man and a woman can have a relationship without having sex. Even if nothing is going on, some people still speculate that there is and proceed to spread all sorts of rumors based on pure imagination.
* * *
Max and his friend and business partner, Gary, walked the green around the ninth hole at Huntington Springs Golf Course. Max’s game was off because his mind was on Shante and the meeting at the church. He had to fight the urge to call her to find out what happened. He said a special prayer for her and asked God to shine his divine favor on her. It was a perfect day for golf, but he just couldn’t concentrate on it.
“Max, man, your game really stinks today,” Gary said.
“I’ve got other things on my mind. I’m sorry I’m not much competition today. I’m worried about Shante and that stupid meeting at her church.”
“Have you heard from her yet?” Gary asked.
“No. She promised she would call when the meeting was over. It’s taking a long time.”
“Yeah, that must be some kind of meeting. How is she holding up?”
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Max said, swinging his golf club. “I haven’t spoken to her much this week.”
“Are your plans working out?”
“Shante and I understand where we stand with this relationship.”
“Really? So you told her how you feel, and she said the same?”
“Not exactly, Gary. I told her how I felt. She listened to me. She doesn’t want to get involved right now.” “Get involved? With you?”
“In a close relationship.”
“You two are already in a close relationship. I can look at the two of you and tell you guys are in love. Everyone can tell that. When you guys are together with the boys, you look like one big, happy family. What’s the problem? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“I think ghosts from her past are keeping her from getting involved.”
“Ghosts? What do you mean?”
“I shouldn’t tell you her secrets. It’s personal. She confided in me, and I shouldn’t run off telling everybody. She trusts me.”
“That’s it. She does trust you, and you trust her. Besides, I already know about Kevin. Shante told me about their marriage.” Gary stepped up to the green, placed his tee in the ground, put the ball on it, and swung his club, sending the ball across the lawn.
“You know about him?” Max had begun walking towards the golf cart, but stopped when he heard Gary mention Kevin. He wondered how much Gary knew about the Kevin situation and how long he had known it.
“She called me about the incident at her house. She told me you were there. She said you wanted to represent her, but she thought you were too emotionally attached to the case. So I agreed to represent her when he goes to trial.”
Max placed his club in the golf bag and put it on the back of the cart. “I’m glad you are representing her. She trusts you. With all the years we’ve been friends, she knows you are not going to run all over town telling her business. She’s an extremely private person. She would not have gone to another attorney.” Max paused. “Man, you don’t know what it took for me not to go to his church and beat him down as if I were his father. You should have seen how Shante looked. Her house was destroyed.”
