Lady Preacher, page 23
The last question was left hanging as they got up and went to the table. As Pastor Kay blessed the food, Shante mulled over her question. She wondered if she wanted the stress of a relationship. She couldn’t start one now, not with an ongoing investigation into church finances. She might not even have a job or her freedom after the meeting to determine what the church should do about the missing money and her employment. What good would she do Max in prison? What am I thinking? I haven’t done anything wrong.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry. I was thinking out loud.”
“That may be your problem. You could be thinking too much. Sometimes it’s best to go with what you’re feeling. I did with Don, and it has truly been a blessing. Listen to your heart. Pray about it. Stay in prayer. Ask God for guidance, and he’ll direct you.”
“I will, I have. I really can’t focus on Max right now. I guess my biggest fear is that I’ll lose my church and my ministry will fall apart. I don’t want to lose my church. I love what I do. I love the people God has assigned me. My church is my life. What am I going to do?”
“Tell me, what would you do if you weren’t preaching?”
“I guess I’d go back to being a consultant.”
“Is that what you did before?”
“Yes.”
“Did you like it?”
“It was financially rewarding. I liked being my own boss. That’s about it. I didn’t feel that I was helping anyone.”
“Do you want to go back to that kind of work?” “No, but I will if I have to. I don’t want to.”
“That takes me back to the question, what if you lose your church? What are you going to do? Will you con tinue preaching or will you run away?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to lose my church.”
“I’m going to tell you something—whenever it looks like you’re losing, you’re really winning. I’ve been there. Look around you. This is how God gave me victory. You know, my church never let me return to that pulpit, but God elevated me higher to a new pulpit. My ministry’s growing. I have a wonderful marriage and family. I’m happy because I chose to be happy. I chose to live beyond what others thought of me. I chose to love in spite of what they were doing to me. You have a choice to make. You can allow them to make you crawl in a hole, or you can stand up, live, and be happy. You choose, Shante.”
“Thank you for talking with me today. I needed this. I needed this real bad. Would it be okay if I called you to talk?”
“I’ll give you my home and cell number. You can call me anytime.”
“Thank you. You have been a blessing today.” “That’s what I’m here for.”
Chapter 25
On Thanksgiving, Bishop and Mother’s house was full—children playing, men yelling as they watched a football game on TV, and women amiably chit-chatting. Mother was in the kitchen busy putting the finishing touches on the Thanksgiving meal.
“Hello, everybody,” Shante said, practically having to yell to be heard over the noise. She was carrying several pies and cakes she had baked for the occasion. Camille, Gwen and Ron, and Patrice and Shawn, each carrying at least one box of food, followed her. This was Shante’s year to host the annual after-Thanksgiving shopping spree they had started several years ago. Last year, they were in Atlanta. The year before that, Gwen had treated them to a shopping trip to New York. This year, she wanted to stay close to home; she needed the support of her friends. Besides, she had to preach at Pastor Kay’s family conference, and she wanted her friends there to support her.
She worked her way through the crowded living room, hardly noticed by the men watching the game. She went through the arched doorways into the dining room. Several ladies jumped up and took an item from her, either taking it into the kitchen or placing it in the dining room.
“I think we have everything,” Gwen said. “How many cakes did you make? Looks like you cooked all night.”
“I knew a lot of people would be here today. I wanted to make sure I had enough for everyone.” Shante looked around and was excited to see Bishop and Mother’s granddaughter, Marie, who was in the Army reserves. She ran and hugged her. “Marie, it’s so good to see you. I’m glad you were able to come. You look good. How are you? When are you returning to Iraq?”
“I’ve been over there twice. I hope I’m not called up again. I’m ready to retire from the reserves. This has gotten old.”
“Hopefully, the war will end soon. Where are Bishop and Mother?”
“Pop is in the backyard with some of the guys looking at that old truck, and Nana is in the kitchen. She ran us out.”
“Let me go in there and speak to her.” She went into the kitchen and saw Mother busy at the stove. She couldn’t believe it was only a few months ago Mother was dealing with breast cancer and chemotherapy. She seemed to have recuperated well from the disease and its treatment. There had been no sign of the disease spreading or returning, and Mother had been trying to live a normal life. She had gone on with life, acting as if nothing had happened to her. Shante thought how very few things bothered Mother. She wished she were that strong.
Although Shante had tried to carry on every day as normally as possible, not a day passed without her thinking about the investigation and the effect it was having on her church and members. When people talked to her, they only wanted to talk about the church’s problems—everyone, that is, except her friends and Pastor Kay. For the past few weeks, she had been in counseling with Pastor Kay. It was good to finally talk to someone about the abuse and continuing harassment at the hands of Kevin. She was beginning to gain insight into why she acted the way she had. She now realized she needed to heal from the pains of her past.
She stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Mother work, the smell of food producing in her a sense of well-being. She loved coming to Bishop and Mother’s for the holidays. With both of her parents gone and without siblings, this was the closest thing she had to being with family. She looked forward to the holidays— the people, the camaraderie, the food. “Hello, Mother.”
“Hey, baby,” Mother said, looking up from the stove. “How did everything go at the church this morning?”
“We fed more than three hundred people at the church and delivered more than a hundred meals to shut-ins today. That’s in addition to the four hundred families we were able to assist with food boxes and gift cards this year. We finished faster than last year. It was such a blessing. At one point, I thought we were going to have to do a loaves and fishes prayer. People kept calling the church for help. We kept on fixing plates, and everything worked out.”
“That’s good. I know you’re tired. Sit down.”
Shante sat down at the table. It was covered with bowls and pots filled with food. “Everybody said you ran them out of the kitchen.”
“That’s because none of them can cook. While you’re sitting there, put the rolls on the pan for me and we can get that in the oven.”
Shante lifted the foil from a large pan in the middle of the table. It contained a perfectly roasted turkey, and she couldn’t resist the urge to taste it. She was about to pinch off a piece when Mother said, without looking up, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Finish the rolls. That’s all I need you to do.”
“Agnes, when are we going to eat?” Bishop asked, walking through the door, several men on his heels. “You’ll eat when I get finished.”
“Mother, you need help with anything else?” Shante asked, greeting Bishop with a hug.
“Shante, how are you? How did everything go at church this morning?”
“Everything went well. We were able to help over four hundred people this year.”
“That’s good. I’m going to watch the game.” Bishop left them alone. Shante finished arranging the rolls on the pan and put them in the oven. She sat back down at the table and offered to help, but Mother told her to go ask the other women to set the table because dinner was almost ready. She was walking towards the dining room when she thought she heard Joshua.
“Mama Tay!” It was Joshua coming through the kitchen door. She bent down and hugged him.
“Josh, what are you doing here?”
“I’m having Thanksgiving. I made you this at school.” Josh handed her a paper turkey made from a tracing of his hand. She suddenly realized she had been set up. She was sure Mother and Bishop had planned this, and had invited Max to dinner. They hadn’t mentioned it to her. If they had, she would have cooked dinner at her house, and they knew it. She had successfully avoided Max for the last several weeks. There was no way she could avoid him today.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you. Where are your brothers?” “Mama Tay.”
“Jacob, Jonathan. Come here. It’s so good to see you,” Shante said, pulling both of them into a big hug. She was so happy to see them that she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.
“Hello, Shante.” She turned and saw Max dressed in jeans and a sweater. She was happy to see him and fought the urge to embrace him.
“Max, I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”
“Bishop and Mother invited us. Hello, Mother. It smells good in here.” Max walked over and kissed her on the cheek.
“Mother, the rolls are in the oven. I’ll check on them in a few minutes,” Shante said, leaving the kitchen. The boys raced outside to play with the other children. She went into the dining room and joined the other women at the table.
“Did you see Max? He looks good,” Gwen whispered to Shante.
“Did you know he was going to be here?”
“Mother asked me not to tell you. Doesn’t he look good in those jeans?”
“I’m going outside with the children,” Shante said.
“Don’t do that. Sit down; talk to us,” Patrice said, motioning Shante to come sit beside her. “Max does look good. He always has. You should find some time to talk to him today. It’ll get rid of some of that tension you just brought in here.”
“I’m not tense. I’m fine with him being here. It doesn’t bother me. I’m glad he’s here; I can see the boys.” Shante tried her best to act as if it wasn’t bothering her, but it was. She tried not to look into the kitchen at Max, who was talking with Mother. But the sight of him was distracting. She heard Gwen and Patrice laughing. She glared at them. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” Patrice said. “You know you want to talk to him.”
Shante looked at Gwen and then Patrice. “You knew he was going to be here, too.”
“I had to tell somebody,” Gwen said.
“Lighten up, Shante. She only told me and Ron, and I told Shawn and he told the mailman.” Gwen and Patrice laughed louder.
“Y’all are real funny.”
“Ladies, come and help me get this food on the table,” Mother said, entering the room with a dish filled with green beans.
Everyone went into the kitchen and picked up a serving dish and placed it on the dining room table. Shante went to get the rolls out of the oven. Max was still there, leaning against a cabinet. Shante acted as if she didn’t see him looking at her. She quickly took the rolls out of the oven and set the pan on the butcher’s block lying on the table. She picked up a bowl of candied sweet potatoes and headed for the table.
“No, put that back. Go cut those cakes over there on the counter,” Mother said, pointing in Max’s direction. “Mother, I can help with this. I’ll cut the cakes later.” “No, you can cut them now. Marie can take those sweet potatoes.”
“Where’s your cake knife?”
“You know where it is.”
Shante looked around the room as if she didn’t know where the knife was kept. But she knew it was in the drawer directly behind Max, and she would have to talk to him to get the knife. She sighed and moved across the room. “Excuse me, Max, I have to get the cake knife and cut the cakes.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Let me get out of your way.” Max moved to the other side of the cabinet. “How have you been?”
“Uh, busy.”
“I heard you guys helped a lot of people this year.” “Yeah, we helped a few.” Trying not to look at Max, she pulled open the drawer to get the knife.
“I called you yesterday to see if you would like to go to a movie after dinner today.”
“I got your message. I was at the church,” she said, trying to concentrate on cutting a pound cake.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Would you like to go?”
“Max, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“I’ll go if she doesn’t,” Marie interjected. Mother yelled for Marie to come to the dining room. Shante listened closely, but heard no talking coming from the dining room. She knew they were listening to their conversation.
“Max, let’s talk about this after dinner.”
“After dinner . . . we’ll talk?”
“I promise,” she said. Their eyes met and Max smiled and left the kitchen, joining the men in the living room.
After all the food was on the table, Mother announced dinner was ready. The children were called in from various areas in the house and yard, and then everyone came around the table and joined hands. Bishop prayed what seemed like an endless prayer. When he finally finished, everyone claimed a seat at one of the tables in the room. The mothers made sure all the children were fed, and then they made sure their husband’s plates were overflowing with food. Gwen sat next to Shante. She saw Max holding his plate and looking for a place to sit.
“Max, you can have this seat. I’m going to sit with the kids. They’re already throwing food.” Gwen picked up her plate and headed for the children’s table.
Shante shook her head. They were all being entirely too obvious, trying too hard to get her and Max together. He squeezed past some of the guests and took Gwen’s vacated seat. She thought he looked so sexy. Her body tingled when his arm slightly brushed hers. She heard him laugh and almost turned to look at him so she could see his beautiful smile. She tried hard not to pay him any attention. This was the closet she had been to him in a long time. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed him.
“Shante,” Bishop said, ending her reverie, “what time is the church meeting next Saturday.”
“Ten.”
“Make sure you remind me. I want to be there bright and early.”
“I will, Bishop.”
She tried to pretend she was deeply involved in the conversation at the table. But every chance she got, she sneaked a look at Max. She was surprisingly relaxed with him being beside her; however, she wasn’t looking forward to their conversation later. This was probably the last time she would be seeing him.
After dinner, the house became quiet except for the sound of the ladies cleaning up. Everyone was full and relaxed. Shante went to the kitchen to help clean up. Max followed her.
“Tay, can we talk now?”
“Max, I’m trying to help clean up. This is too much for Mother to do by herself.”
“Go ahead, Mom. We can handle this,” Camille said, taking a pot from her.
Looking at Camille’s smiling face, she itched to say something to her, but there were too many people around. She and Max went out to the back porch. After they closed the door, the kitchen got quiet. Max walked down the steps and faced her as she leaned on the porch railing.
“Are they looking out of the window?” she asked, feeling the people staring at them.
“Yeah.”
“Let’s walk around the house.”
They headed to the front driveway. The air was crisp, and autumn leaves were drifting to the ground. Trying to keep warm, she folded her arms and leaned against one of the cars.
“Would you like to go to the movies? There are a lot of good movies out now. I’ll let you pick. Gwen and Ron said they’ll take the boys until we come back.”
“Max, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“We don’t have to go to the movies. Do you want to do something else? Some of the stores are open. Maybe you can help me pick out some Christmas gifts for the boys.”
“Max, we really shouldn’t see each other right now. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I can’t handle it, not with all that’s going on.”
“I know you’ve got a lot on your plate. I’ve been praying for you.”
“Thanks. I need all the prayer I can get. I don’t even know if I’ll have a job after next week. The board has called a full church meeting, and charges will be formally presented. The membership will then vote to keep me or fire me. They may even have me arrested. I don’t understand why they would do such thing. I have done nothing wrong. And I can’t believe they are doing this right before Christmas. I simply cannot fathom why I’ve become a target. Sometimes the whole thing seems surreal, as though it were happening to someone else.”
“That’s the way the enemy operates. He wants to discourage you; he wants you to give up. And he comes in all guises and forms.”
“They claim they have evidence. Well, if they do, someone had to have manufactured it. I have not taken a penny from them. I haven’t used or authorized the use of the credit cards. Tank took those from me. I am under a lot of pressure. I also have to preach twice this weekend.”
“Really? Where?”
“Pastor Kay is having a family conference at Shiloh. I don’t know why she is having it during the holidays, but I imagine she feels it’s a good time because a lot of people will have time off. She is not charging admission, and that is one reason I’m doing it. She’s a good person; I enjoy talking with her.”
“I’m glad you are staying busy. Would you mind if I came to one of the services?”
“I can’t stop you from coming to church. Almost everyone here today is coming,” Shante said, trying to pretend she didn’t care one way or the other. But she did care, and was glad he wanted to come out and support her.
“Well, I just may drop in,” Max said, edging closer to her. She backed away. “Tay, you look beautiful. When I saw you, I wanted so much to hug you, but I knew it would make you uncomfortable.”
