Lady Preacher, page 26
“I can’t stand that man,” Camille said.
“Camille, it’s okay to get angry, but don’t stay there. In a couple of days, you will be able to see that what he did to us did not stop God from blessing us. You will thank God for showing you a side of your dad you never knew and making you wiser in case he tries something like that again.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Am I always?” Shante asked. Camille managed a slight smile. “Now take a minute and get yourself together and join us. I’m going in the kitchen to see what Gwen and Patrice are doing.”
Shante returned to the kitchen where Gwen and Patrice were sitting on barstools at the island. Patrice looked at her. “Is she okay?”
“She’ll be fine.” Shante pulled a pint of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream from the freezer and passed spoons to Patrice and Gwen. “I can’t believe Kevin would stoop so low as to put Camille in the middle of one of his schemes.”
“I don’t know what you saw in him in the first place,” Patrice said, shoving a large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.
“That’s because you never saw what I saw or how he used it.”
“Shante!” Gwen screeched.
“Well, it’s true. We had a lot of sex before we got married, but we could not have a decent conversation. He was cute. With everything that has happened over the years, I don’t even remember what I originally saw in him. I was so naïve. I thought his passion for ministry would help us have the perfect marriage, even though I wasn’t saved at the time. But I was wrong.”
“That was horrible. He didn’t have to include Camille. Some people are going to bust hell wide open.”
“Don’t say that, Patrice. I know you are new in the faith. You’ve got to learn to pray for your enemies.”
“You pray. God is still working on me.” The three of them laughed.
“We are going to have a good time in church tomorrow,” she said, going to answer the phone. “Let me see who is calling to congratulate me now.” It was the sheriff’s department. She expected the call, but not this soon. She hesitated before picking up. She didn’t want to talk about Gail, Sister Turner, or Deacon Curry. She especially did not want to talk about Kevin. She wanted to bask in her victory a while longer.
“This is Shante.”
“This is the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Department. We would like for you to come down to the station to give a statement,” the officer said.
“Do I have to do it today? I would like to have my attorney present.”
“We can do it next week. However, we will be issuing warrants for the arrest of Gail Jennings and Kevin Bryson on several felony charges related to the theft of money from your church.”
Shante was sad to hear Gail and Kevin would be arrested, especially Gail. She considered her a friend, and was trying to forgive her, but she knew it would take time.
“Who was that?” Patrice asked as she hung up the phone.
“That was the police. They are going to arrest Gail and Kevin.”
The phone rang again, but the number did not register on the caller ID. Shante answered anyway. “Shante, this is me, Kevin. Don’t hang up.” Shante sat on a barstool, in disbelief that he had the nerve to call her. “I guess now you know about some things. I had to do what I had to do. Don’t blame Gail; she’s a good person. I needed the money.”
“So you decided to steal it from my church and hurt your daughter?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt Camille. I wanted to do something for her. I finally had the chance, and I took advantage of it. I haven’t been the best example of a father for her. I’m really proud of her. I wanted to tell her that at her graduation from high school, but the two of you and your family and friends looked so happy. I didn’t want to rain on her day. So I walked away.”
“You were at her graduation?” Shante stood and began pacing.
“Yeah. I was proud of the speech she gave. Do me a favor. She probably doesn’t want to talk to me right now. Tell her I love her and I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt her. I better go. I think the police will be looking for me soon.”
“Kevin. Why did you do it?”
“I thought I could pay it back before anyone noticed it was gone. It didn’t work out that way. Anyway, I better go.”
“Kevin . . . Kevin,” Shante yelled into the phone. But he’d already hung up.
“No, he didn’t have the nerve to call you,” Patrice said as she stood and walked over to Shante.
“What did he want?” Gwen asked.
“He wanted me to apologize to Camille. He said he loved her and hadn’t meant to hurt her. He said he wanted to finally do something for her.”
“And he did it by stealing money from your church?” Patrice asked.
“He manipulated Gail. She’s young. It was easy for him to do. He said he was going to pay it back.”
“Yeah, right,” Patrice said. “I hope they arrest him soon.”
Gwen and Patrice began speculating as to the real reason Kevin had called. Shante could not join in. For the first time, she truly felt sorry for him. She thought about all that he had lost and was apparently willing to give up, all because he was unwilling to change. She knew she would eventually have to tell Camille what he had said. But she couldn’t right now. The phone call had only made her angrier. She herself would have to find a way to forgive him in order to minister to her daughter about forgiveness.
Chapter 27
Shante sat on the balcony of her hotel room listening to the sound of the ocean. If they had held this conference anywhere other than Hilton Head, she would not have attended. A year had passed since she was last here. It had been a life-changing and transforming year. She had no way of knowing that she would be so different today from what she had been the same time last year. She no longer cared what the other ministers thought of her or her ministry. She didn’t feel the urge to socialize or network with the other attendees.
At this conference last year, she had been the golden girl. This year, people treated her as if she had the plague. She wished Gwen and Ron or Bishop had attended this year. She would have them to talk to and attend the functions with. They had decided not to attend, and Shante felt alone.
Shante’s mind started traveling back to all the things she had gone through. Kevin was in jail awaiting trial, and she still could hardly believe that whole scenario. She recalled how difficult it had been to tell Camille about her father’s phone call. Thinking about Camille’s indifference to her father’s incarceration, Shante sighed. Camille was hurting, but she couldn’t get her to talk about it. She figured in time Camille would come to terms with Kevin’s failures. Until then, all she could do was minister to her the best way she knew how.
She decided to do one of her favorite things, go for a walk along the beach. She went to her room and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. She then went down to the lobby, passing groups of ministers mingling outside the conference room where the welcome reception was being held. She kept walking and headed for the beach. The sun was beginning to set. She walked until she could no longer hear the sounds of the activities coming from the hotel and sat down in the sand. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and began thanking God for bringing her through the past year.
“You really shouldn’t be out here by yourself,” a familiar voice warned.
It was Max. She stood and wiped the sand off her jeans, saying, “Hey, I didn’t think you were coming to the conference this year.”
“I saw you heading to the beach. I hope you don’t mind my being here. I wanted to be here to support you when you spoke. I looked at the schedule, but I didn’t see your name. When are you preaching?”
Shante was happy to see him. She felt like hugging him and never letting go, but she did not know how he would react. They had not seen each other in a while. They had barely spoken to one another since the church meeting. Yet, Max continued sending her inspirational text messages and e-mail; sometimes jokes at just the right time. She had been extremely busy at the church. In addition, she was receiving more invitations to preach outside Charlotte. She also started writing her first book on salvation. She truly hadn’t had much time for anything else.
“I met with the association’s board this morning. They felt it was best for the organization if I didn’t preach, considering the circumstances.”
“Considering the circumstances?”
“That’s what they told me. They felt it might hurt the image of the members of this organization if I preached. They said they had received some concerns about my integrity and being involved in questionable acts in my ministry. They took me off the program before Christmas, but they waited until this morning to tell me. I wish they had told me earlier. I wouldn’t have come.”
“That’s probably why they didn’t tell you. They still need you here. A lot of people here were waiting to hear you preach, and if you hadn’t come, they weren’t coming, either. I think a lot of people are getting tired of this conference. It’s the same thing every year. I heard attendance is down this year. Enough about the conference. How are you doing?”
“I’m blessed. I can’t complain.”
“We haven’t talked much lately.”
“I’m sorry about that, Max. Since the church meeting and Kevin’s arrest, I’ve been so busy.”
“I can imagine.”
“After the meeting, all but two of my board members resigned. Tank stayed on because I asked him to. When the board is completely replaced, he’s going to resign. It’s been difficult selecting deacons and trustees. I basically had to replace the entire leadership of the church and hire a new secretary.”
“I know it’s been rough.”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t been trying to ignore you. It’s just that when I get home, I’m so wasted I fall into the bed— if I don’t have any work to do. It takes all my willpower to get up and exercise in the morning. It’s been very hard.”
“I know it’s been a lot of work. How are you doing, Shante?”
“I’m tired, very tired. I don’t have any energy. I saw my doctor about it. He said I needed to take a vacation, so here I am, on vacation.” She whirled around in the sand, forcing a meager smile. “My work at the church doesn’t feel the same. I feel my work there is complete. I’ve taken New Pilgrim as far as I can. It may be time for me to step down. I don’t know. I’ve been praying about it. It’s in my spirit. I have to make sure that it’s the spirit of the Lord telling me and not me telling myself. Considering all that has happened, I have to be very careful. But you don’t want to hear my problems. I’m really blessed. I’m doing much better. I don’t have to look over my shoulder for Kevin anymore. I don’t walk in fear.”
“That’s good to hear. It has been a rough year, but continue praying about stepping down. That’s a big decision. You have to be led by the Holy Spirit. You don’t want to make matters worse.”
“Yeah, and it can only get better.”
“Amen.”
The incoming tide was hitting her feet, so they walked away from the ocean. Her hair swayed with the cool breeze from the ocean, and she had to keep brushing it back from her face. “So, Max, how’ve you been? You look good.”
“Thank you, Tay. I’m well.”
“And the boys? How are they doing?”
“They’re doing great.”
“That’s good. Tell them . . .” She stopped talking and turned her back to him. She bent down to pick up a shell she spotted in the sand.
“Tell them what?”
“Huh?”
“You said tell the boys and you stopped. Tell them what?”
“Max, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“I’m listening.”
“I . . . well, . . . .” She started walking back toward the hotel.
“What is it?”
“I don’t want you to get angry. I’ve been seeing the boys. I know you didn’t want me involved with them since we weren’t together, but it broke my heart not to see them. Someone has been bringing them to see me. I’m sorry I went behind your back. I had to. Seeing them relaxed me. It made me happy. With all the things that were going on in my life, they were the sunshine I needed. I made sure I scheduled time to see them. Please forgive me. If you don’t mind, I would like to continue seeing them. I love them like they’re my own sons. I don’t like sneaking around. I don’t want any more secrets. You’re their father; I thought you should know.”
Max walked closer to her. He lifted her chin and wiped a tear. “I already know.”
“You knew?”
“Yeah, I’ve known for a long time, almost from the beginning. You know Josh can’t keep a secret. I saw you at Jon’s basketball games and at Jake’s recital. I was glad you were there to support them. I asked Gwen and Gary to make sure you saw them anytime you wanted. Bishop and Mother volunteered to be a drop-off spot for you to visit them. You ever wondered why the boys were there when you visited them? That’s because they would call me and let me know when you planned to visit, and I would drop them off. They wanted to be with you. I couldn’t break their hearts. I know you love them, and they love you.”
“Thank you so much, Max.” She pulled him to her and hugged him. It felt so natural to her, but she pulled away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“That’s all right.”
She turned her back to him and looked out at the ocean. “Max?”
“Yes.”
“I was wrong.”
“Wrong? About what?”
“I was wrong about the way I treated you. I was wrong about everything. I shouldn’t have acted that way. I shouldn’t have cut you off. I shouldn’t have led you on. I shouldn’t have talked to you the way I did. I was wrong.” She turned to him. “I’m sorry. I apologize. Please forgive me. Forgive me for everything.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Yes, I do. I treated you really bad. You didn’t deserve it. You’re a great guy. I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid to be loved, afraid of being in love. I knew you loved me. You didn’t hesitate to tell me. It scared me. I tried so hard to live a righteous life. I was afraid Kevin would do something to harm you or the boys. When you told me he had been at your office, it scared me even more. I wanted to be with you. I knew I had crossed the line after Josh’s accident. I let you get too close when I knew I didn’t want to get married then. Everything in me wanted to be with you more and more each day. I think I used Josh’s accident as an excuse to be with you. That was very selfish of me. I’m sorry.”
“Tay—”
“No, Max. Please let me finish. This might be the only time I get to talk with you. I want to make sure I say what I need to.”
“I’m listening.”
“I enjoyed getting together with you for First Friday. In the beginning it was all about helping you get through Meko’s death, but then it changed. It became something more. I looked forward to spending time with you. I loved being with you. I loved our adventures. I loved the conversations we had. I loved the way you made me feel when I was with you. I miss First Friday. There have been times when I’ve wanted to call you and ask you to meet me for First Friday. I was embarrassed by the way I treated you, and I felt I didn’t deserve to be with you.”
“I miss First Friday, too.”
“With all that has happened, I didn’t think you wanted to be with me. I wanted so badly to be with you. I missed your smile, your corny jokes, your intelligence, and your praise. I loved to hear you pray. I loved the way you interacted with your sons. There is so much I loved about you. I let what other people thought of our relationship interfere with what God was doing in my life— in our lives. To get my mind off you, I dove deeply into my work. Yes, there are a lot of things going on at the church, but some of that stuff can wait. I was trying to do things to keep my mind off you.”
Max stood on the beach listening to her. “I’ve been talking to Pastor Kay. She made me realize I was using the boys to keep you in my life. In a way, she was right. When I went to the games or recitals, I would look for you. There were times when I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I wanted so much to go to you and say something or hold you. This realization didn’t help anything, especially since I accused you of using the boys to pressure me. I had to repent. I took some time to fast and pray.” She wiped her face.
“I never told you that I loved you. The truth is I did love you. I think I still do—no, I know I’m in love with you. I secretly wished you were here. I wanted so much to be with you. I remembered dancing with you this time last year. I remembered how it felt to hold you, to be held by you. I remembered your smell, your smile, and your kiss. All these memories came rushing back. It was more than I could take.” Shante couldn’t stop the tears. She could feel the salty taste as they flowed down her face into her mouth.
“I wish there was something I could do to change everything that happened. I know I can’t change the past. I felt you needed to know. I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me. I wanted you to know.” She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
Max walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She turned around and gripped his sides. She squeezed him tightly. “Tay, someone might see us.” He pulled away from her.
“I don’t care. I don’t care.”
He pulled her close to him and held her tightly. She squeezed him. She took a deep breath. Her tears kept flowing. She didn’t realize that Max was also crying. “Max, I love you. I always have. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you. I understand. I love you.”
He pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Tay, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What is it?” A sense of dread came over her. “I’m selling my share of the practice to Gary.” “Really? Why?”
