Secret Desire, page 17
“Yes. I’m afraid so.” We settled in the living room for dinner once it was done so Mom would stay comfortable. She complimented her kids on the food, and I shared a look with Peter. I loved being in this moment, but I couldn’t wait for later tonight in Peter’s room.
We were quiet but loving. He clung to me as I loved him, needing the feeling of being safe with me. When we finished, he cleaned up in the bathroom, and I followed before crawling into bed with him. The girls were taking care of Mom tomorrow, and we were taking the following day so we could all rest.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Peter
The week passed quickly, and I watched as Mom assured us that she was okay. The doctor backed her, but I didn’t want to leave her. Jenny was handling the insurance like a pro, and Mom would have a new car before too long, but I just wanted to be here to watch over them.
Matt packed as I paced my room. “Do you want to come with us?” I knew they had to get back to school, but I could keep in touch with my job anywhere. “I get if you want to stay.”
“I do, but I know she’s okay. I should focus on work.” He seemed torn, and I walked across the room to kiss him.
“We can come back this weekend and hang out with you,” I told him before he pulled me into his arms.
“I’ll go with you. They’re close if anything comes up, and Mom has told me several times that she doesn’t want me to hover around her.” He laughed, and I stroked his hair. “We can come back this weekend.” Peter looked at me for a long moment before he kissed me tenderly, and I lost myself in him.
“Guys! Lunch just got delivered!” Jenny’s voice rang through the small house, and we pulled away, breathing heavily.
“Fuck. That might have been perfect timing,” Peter whispered as he stepped back. “I guess eating before we leave is a good plan.” We fixed ourselves and headed into the kitchen to see Rhonda from the diner. She had two big bags with her and grinned at Peter.
“I’m glad I got here before you were gone.” This was the second time that she delivered food, and we took the bags from her.
“Me, too. There’s nothing like diner food.” Everyone laughed as the waitress hugged Mom gently.
“I think that when you come here next time, you should stop by that doughnut shop for me.” I laughed as Mom returned the embrace. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m good, sweetheart. Thank you for this. The kids have been working hard around here to keep me fed and watered.” That wasn’t totally true with the food that was dropped off over the last several days. Jenny rolled her eyes, and Peter laughed as he asked Rhonda if she wanted to join us. She declined to eat but did sit and talk with us, asking all about Portland and life in California.
We left more toward the evening on Sunday than planned and arrived well after dark. Dahlia was fine with us going to my place, but we stayed at their apartment, showering and making love in the shower before bed. The twins had class in the morning and had a week of catching up ahead of them, so we went to sleep as soon as we could.
I woke up dreaming about Mom in a cold sweat. The ending was different from reality, and I took slow breaths to calm myself. Matt was softly snoring beside me, and I worried that I’d start having dreams as I did after losing my grandparents. I wanted him beside me every night, turning toward him to pull him closer.
They went to school, and I headed to my apartment to call the college and make sure things were good. I left so quickly once I got the call from my sister and thought only about Mom in the following days. I explained the situation to them and apologized for my abrupt departure. They told me that my first term would be three classes online, including a lab. It came to several hours based on how much assistance I offered students, but it was perfect.
Matt came over that night to celebrate with some beer and our favorite pizza. I was talking to Mom, and he called out to her as she responded. I told her we’d probably be there the next weekend and she assured me that I didn’t have to do that. I protested and said that I did. I ended the call and walked over to kiss him hard, missing him after being together every day for a week.
We talked about my schedule over the meal and made loose plans to work on freelance projects together during our downtime. We weren’t afraid of some hard work, and it felt good to plan our future.
We weren’t quiet that night. We let go of everything over the last week in bed, and we both were eager to make the other cum. There wasn’t a top or a bottom with us. We switched up to whatever we wanted and loved it and each other. He stayed every night until Friday when Dahlia told Matt that she ended things with Lauren. We stayed there that night and talked it over, where she finally admitted to something developing between her and Jenny. They weren’t going to rush things, but she was happy to visit with us to spend some time with her. We left the following morning to stay for the night, and Mom was getting around a lot better. It made me feel better about staying in Portland.
I described the job over dinner around the table, and everyone was happy for me. Losing the teaching position had scared me briefly once everything happened. I expressed that to Mom, and she assured me that everything works out in the end. It was.
We stayed up late watching a movie, and Mom fell asleep in her chair. I covered her and held out my hand to lead Matt to bed. My sister and Dahlia were whispering together, and I wondered if they were staying in Jenny’s room together. We bid them goodnight and walked down the hallway, chuckling along.
“They look good together,” I told Matt as I closed my door.
“Agreed. She looked happy with Lauren, but I figured that wasn’t a forever thing.” We exchanged a look, knowing how crazy it could get when you were figuring yourself out. We slipped off our clothes and under the covers, kissing for several moments. We fell asleep that way, warm and cuddled close together.
The following day, I treated everyone to the diner for brunch. Rhonda was thrilled to have Mom there and joined us for her break as we ate, asking about Matt and Dahlia. It seemed as though everyone was embracing them here, and I felt a pang of guilt that it was all about my family right now. I vowed to take a long weekend to go to San Diego again.
We did some shopping for Mom after the diner, stocking her fridge to make it easier for her and Jenny. The girls cooked some soup for dinner in one of Jenny’s new gadgets and sliced up bread to dip. I felt like time passed too quickly before we were leaving again. Everyone gave tight hugs, and I saw the tears in Mom’s eyes and the longing in my sister’s gaze.
She and Dahlia were falling hard.
We drove back and had an average busy week. I was starting my new job the following week and spent my time reading everything I could. I wanted to go in knowledgeable and ready to teach the students everything I could. Matt was already caught up and back at the top with his grades, happy that he got there. I sensed a carelessness in him when we first met that wasn’t there as much. He was at school or with me, for the most part. We spent time between apartments and helped the other as much as needed. This felt like an adult relationship despite the years between us, and it was the best thing I’d ever done.
With visits to Mom and Jenny as often as possible and busy weeks, graduation was suddenly a month away. Plans for families to visit were in full swing, and I planned for Mom and Jenny to stay with me. I had a guest room for them already. The twin’s parents were getting a hotel with their bigger family. I balanced teaching and helping the students with planning the big dinner after the ceremony. It was going to be in a great restaurant, and I reserved a private room for the group.
Matt was visibly nervous and excited about being done with college. I didn’t know what would happen once he was out of school, but we’d be together. That was certain. I knew that Dahlia was talking a lot with Jenny, but no decisions had been made there either. I just focused on making it the best night of their lives.
***
It was hard not to reminisce as I watched the long ceremony. It seemed like a long time ago as I watched my younger boyfriend stride across the stage to cheers. He was popular among the students even if he’d settled down, and any talk about us got replaced with new scandals. I was part of the crowd, peering through bodies to see him accept the fake diploma and pose for a picture. He looked fucking good, and it took everything I had not to rip off that gown and have my way with him. Dahlia followed and blushed as she posed to some hoots and hollers, and I looked at Jenny once the moment was over. She was beaming and clapping as Dahlia walked down the stairs and smitten.
Everyone cheered when it was over, and I stayed in my seat to let the crowd thin out. I knew how chaotic this was, and I chatted with everyone as students posed for pictures and hugged their friends and family. When I saw the twins coming, I led the way over to them and was first to embrace them.
Their parents and my mom gave Dahlia flowers and cards to both. We chatted for a few moments and then headed to the cars to leave for dinner. It was a surprise until we arrived, and Matt hugged me as soon as we were out of the car. “I love this place. Thank you, babe.”
“I know. You’ll like the fact that we have a private room even better.” That got me a kiss and hug from Dahlia before we went inside. We were led to the room and had several courses over the next few hours, along with drinks. I was driving the twins so they could celebrate, and the champagne was flowing. Everyone else made arrangements, and we partied. By the time we left and handled the bill, Dahlia was helped to the car by Jenny, and I had an arm around Matt. I drove him and Mom to my place and my sister and Dahlia to the apartment the twins shared. Everyone was happy for the girls. The families got on well together, and I imagined some holidays ahead of us with a smile.
I got Matt to bed and undressed as he tried to kiss me sloppily. He was adorable when he was drunk, and I went to get him some water and make sure Mom was settled. “Is he okay?”
“He will be. I’m getting him Tylenol and water. We’ll see how breakfast goes tomorrow.” I chuckled at the loose plans to meet for a late meal, and she smiled. “I’m glad you’re here, Mom. Thanks for coming.”
“Those two are my kids now. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” I hugged her, and she returned it for a long moment. “It’s good to see you happy.”
“It’s great to feel that way.” I patted her back and pulled away as a yawn took over. “I think I’m going to get some sleep. Are you good?” She assured me that she was, and I got the stuff for Matt before returning to my room. He was curled up and sleeping hard as I watched him. He was hot as hell, kind and showed me more love than any man before him. He finished school, and the world was ours for the taking. For now, I was ready to sleep and continue celebrating tomorrow.
Everyone made it to breakfast. Not everyone was perky, but coffee helped, and the food brought the graduates to life. Matt did say that he was not going to touch hard liquor and champagne together ever again as we got ready, but he was good-natured about it. We lingered over the meal and made tentative plans for the following day to see some of Oregon. My mom and Jenny were staying for a week, but Matt’s family was headed home the next evening.
I took them to the airport after we went to a few places to visit. Matt and Dahlia had hugged them and gotten emotional before this, and I offered so they wouldn’t be driving. I hugged their mom and shook their dad’s hand as we stood on the curb.
“You’re so good for my son. I couldn’t be happier that you’re together. Your sister is also good for my girl. Take care of them, Peter.”
“Always.” They gathered their luggage, and we said our final goodbyes before they walked through the doors. I watched for a moment and moved to the car to head back to my place. Everyone was there relaxing and snacking on some pizza we bought and drying their tears.
We stayed there for a while before the girls headed to the twin’s apartment. Mom told us that she was exhausted and went to bed as I pulled Matt close to me. “I love you, babe.”
“I love you. Thank you for everything this weekend.” He leaned over to kiss my jaw, and I growled softly.
“It was a special time. I wanted to spoil you and Dal.” I kissed him softly, feeling my body react.
“I’d say that you succeeded.” His tongue slipped against my lower lip, and I let him in, feeling the way our mouths locked every time. I moaned softly and pulled him closer, needing all of him. “Let’s go to bed.”
Epilogue
Peter
We decided to plan a trip to San Diego together. Jenny couldn’t wait to be on a warm beach, and Mom told me that she was excited to see the city and surrounding areas. She’d never left the Pacific Northwest area and used to love when I told her stories about my life in California.
We stayed for two weeks since I could work remotely, and the twins didn’t have classes. Matt and I both worked on freelance projects while Dahlia started thinking about what she wanted to do. She could work nearly anywhere, and while I think she planned to return to San Diego in the beginning, things had changed. She loved being near her brother, but he had a life with me. She was quickly building one with my sister, and I knew that Jenny would go with her. My mom was healthy and could also move since nothing was holding her here. It was a bittersweet time as lives began to separate from the bond they were before. I saw it on Matt and Dahlia’s faces, and for that reason, I didn’t press the issue. I remembered this time in my life and thought back every day when I looked at what I was doing. Things could change in an instant for the right person.
Matt looked seriously into building a freelance career for himself now that he had the time. He knew that it would allow us to go anywhere, and he didn’t need to fall back on a salary or benefits right now. That could be obtained as a self-employed writer down the line. I could also give it to him through my job when we were married. I knew that was what I wanted when all was said and done.
***
Everyone visited San Diego in the summer for a couple of weeks. Matt took pride in showing off his home town to my family, and it was evident that they fell in love at first sight. We did the touristy things, and he took them to his lesser-known haunts like he did me the first time I was here. We ate at five-star places and buildings that you’d second guess before claiming it was the best food you’ve ever eaten, but that was always my thing. I was a small-town boy.
Everyone thought that coming here for the holidays sounded like a great idea and a pleasant change. Mom went to work, securing a timeshare in the area so they could come whenever they wanted. I got my sister into freelance work, and she blossomed right along with Matt. We were all blessed with the fact that none of us had to work long hours in places we hated. She, in turn, convinced Dahlia to do the same, and we were soon a freelance family.
Jenny slowly started staying with Dahlia when they weren’t together in Washington and Matt all but moved into my apartment. It was brighter with him here, and we were building a future. The girls were serious, and Dahlia confessed that she was madly in love with Jenny after drinking wine one night. It wasn’t news to any of us. It might have only been beginning relationships for the girls, but they fit. They were adjusting together.
We went for Thanksgiving and decided to stay through Christmas to enjoy the perfect weather. Why not? I was on break and working on projects for the time being along with everyone else. Life was perfect. Mom loved having everyone and made more food than ever before with help. Dahlia and Jenny shared a love of cooking and joined her in the kitchen.
We decorated for Christmas after the big meal and got the itinerary of plans for the family. There were a lot of traditions here, and I saw the smile on Mom’s face as she listened to everything. It was like this for us when the family was bigger, and I saw a lot of memories playing through her head. She even added some ideas to the mix that were welcomed, and I saw the relief in her eyes.
We made a simple meal of chili and cornbread for Christmas that could feed an army. The girls baked cookies all week, and they served as a dessert with spiked eggnog for some and coffee for the others. It was a fun day, and I was relieved to find some alone time with Matt at the end of the night. We were sitting on the couch by the tree, still drinking. “This has been the best holiday.” I kissed his hair and pulled him closer, thinking how handsome he looked in the light of the tree.
“I’m glad. I like it the most, as well.” Matt turned his lips to mine and kissed me softly, making my exhaustion transform into desire. We kissed for several moments, pulling away when we heard voices in the hallway. It was the girls getting water, and their giggles carried down the hall. The smallest sister loved having two bigger ones now and tailed them like a puppy when they were all together. “They’re going to cause a lot of trouble someday.”
“That’s true.” I kissed him again and stroked back his hair gently. My nerves buzzed, and I stared into his eyes. I’d been waiting for this for a long time. “Do you like being here?”
“In this house? I do. It’s nice to be able to go to the beach nearly any time of the year.” Matt smiled, knowing I felt the same way.
“I thought we could get a house here on the beach. A vacation home for now and maybe a permanent one later.” I watched as his eyes widened, knowing where I was going with this.
“You were?” Matt pressed as I smiled.
“I was hoping you’d marry me on that beach and be mine forever,” I swear I saw tears in his eyes and blinked as emotions took me over. “Will you give me forever, Matt? I’ve loved you since that first night together.”
He said yes before jumping on me to hug me tight. The noise brought everyone else to the room since nobody was sleeping yet, and they witnessed me sliding the ring on his finger. Christmas Eve ran late, and we all slept in on Christmas morning, rushing around to cook.
It was worth it. Matt looked happy, and I felt my heart settling into the feeling of contentedness, something I’d given up on. We could go anywhere, live anywhere, and I’d feel like I was home.
