Chasing a Brighter Blue, page 4
Shelby met her eyes, searching them. They were still shadowed, still harbored sadness, but it wasn’t as profound as yesterday when she’d first seen her. Or maybe it was and she was getting used to it. She decided to be honest with her.
“Josh and your parents are worried about you. Stephanie asked me to…well, make friends, as she put it.”
“I see.”
“I’m sorry. Whatever is going on with you is certainly none of my business. I don’t know you, I don’t know how you normally are,” she said. “I was told that you seem depressed and not yourself.” She reached over and touched Reagan’s arm lightly. “They’re worried about you.”
Reagan nodded. “Yeah, I know. My mom, she’s tried to talk to me, but I wasn’t ready. Not sure I can even explain.”
Shelby sensed that Reagan wanted to talk but she wasn’t certain a public bar was the proper place. She was curious, though, about her work.
“Stephanie said you are a photojournalist.”
Reagan glanced at her, then gave a subtle nod. “Yes.”
“And you travel a lot, she said.”
“It’s not as exciting as it seems,” Reagan said. She motioned to her empty mug and Zach immediately pulled out a clean one from the freezer and began filling it.
“I would hate it,” she said. “I hate flying, for one thing. And I’m a bit of a homebody. I don’t think I could take the travel.”
“I know what you mean. Sometimes I’ll only stay at a place a week or two. Sometimes only a day.” She paused. “And then others, months and months.”
“Hard to make friends that way, I suppose.” She hesitated before continuing. “And to develop relationships of any kind…lovers.”
Reagan smiled. “Oh, you’re right about that. Not to mention, there are a lot of different cultures in the world.” She shrugged. “I’m not always welcome.”
“I imagine you have to be very careful.”
Reagan looked at her, a smile hovering on her lips. “Are you fishing for information?”
Shelby felt a blush light her face. “Is it that obvious?” She nodded when Zach brought Reagan’s beer. One more wouldn’t hurt, she thought. “Did you have a breakup?”
Reagan laughed. “God, no. In Afghanistan?”
“Well, there are soldiers there, other Westerners, aren’t there?”
The smile left Reagan’s face. “Yeah, there are. I was actually traveling with a British group,” she said. “Officially, the war has ended and most of the troops have been pulled out.”
“May I ask what you were doing there?”
“What? You think it’s classified?”
Shelby smiled at Zach when he placed a beer in front of her. “No, I mean, what were you doing there?” She looked at her. “What I really mean is, what the hell were you doing there?”
Reagan laughed. “I know. Not exactly a glamorous assignment.” Again, the smile faded. “I was working with a friend, a journalist, who was doing a story on one of the villages there. I owed him a favor from years earlier so that’s why I was there.” She shrugged. “The last time I left, I swore I wouldn’t go back. Yet there I was again.”
Shelby nodded. “So? Did he get his story?”
When Reagan looked at her, Shelby wished she hadn’t not asked the question. Reagan’s sad eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.
“No. He didn’t.”
With that, Reagan stood, leaving her unfinished beer on the bar, and walked away.
Chapter Six
“I saw you in the bar with Reagan earlier,” Stephanie said. “Did you find out anything?”
“No.”
“So what did you talk about?”
Shelby sighed. “I am not going to tell you every little thing we discussed. You asked me to try to make friends with her and I am.”
Stephanie’s eyes widened. “Do you like her? She’s so not your type.”
“I didn’t say that. I said I’m trying to be friends, that’s all. And you have no idea who my type is anyway.”
“I’ve seen some of your dates.”
“What? One? Two?” Shelby slipped on her sweater. “And I can’t believe you called her manly.”
“Well, she is. I mean, she said herself she hasn’t worn a dress since she was twelve.”
Shelby stared at her. “When’s the last time you saw me in a dress?”
Stephanie blinked stupidly at her. “Umm, well, there was the…the office party last year.”
Shelby shook her head. “I wore a suit. Try again.”
Stephanie waved her hand in the air. “I’ve obviously seen you in a dress, I just can’t think of a time right this minute.” She got off the sofa where she’d been lounging. “And even if you don’t wear a dress, you don’t look gay. She does.” Stephanie reached out and brushed her hair. “Please don’t ever cut your hair short.”
Shelby laughed. “When I cut it last summer like this you almost freaked out.”
“I know. I’m used to it now. But no shorter.”
“Whatever,” she said. “Now come on. We’ll be late. You don’t want to send Mother into another tailspin, do you?”
“She’s going to have me so stressed out by the time the wedding is here,” Stephanie said as she followed her out of the suite. “I wish I could ignore her like you do.”
“Well, I’ve had three more years’ experience than you,” she said with a laugh as she pushed the elevator button.
Josh and their mother were waiting at the entrance to the restaurant. The look on Josh’s face told her that he’d been subjected to one of their mother’s rants.
“Sorry we’re late,” Stephanie said as she moved closer to kiss him. “Shelby took forever to get dressed.”
Shelby rolled her eyes as Josh laughed. “Are you sure it was Shelby?”
Stephanie grinned. “I guess you do know me by now, huh?” She looked around. “Where’s Reagan?”
“I don’t know. She’s not answering her cell. I left her a message to join us though.”
Stephanie turned to her expectantly and Shelby shrugged. Granted, their earlier discussion in the bar hadn’t ended well, but no alarms had gone off. Well, other than Reagan abruptly getting up and leaving.
“What about your parents?” Stephanie asked Josh.
“They should be here soon, but they said we should go ahead to dinner.”
“Ah.” Shelby turned to her mother. “So that’s what has got you upset?”
“I’ve never even met them,” she said. “I think it’s rude for us not to wait on them. They’ve been traveling for two days.”
“Why stress them out with dinner? It’ll probably be easier to meet them at the sleigh ride later.” She motioned to the entrance. “Shall we?”
Josh glanced at his watch. “Still waiting on Doug,” he said.
Great. Dinner with Doug.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” her mother asked.
Shelby looked down at her sweater and jeans, then back at her mother. “Oh, gosh no, Mother. I only put this on to walk down here,” she said sarcastically. “I’ve got my formal attire on underneath.”
Stephanie laughed beside her, but her mother’s glare never lessened. She finally shook her head. “I tried so hard,” she said. “I don’t know why Stephanie is the only one who got my sense of fashion.” She leaned closer. “It’s not like you don’t have a date for dinner.”
Shelby frowned. “Who?”
“Well, the best man, of course. He’s so delightful.” She smiled. “And handsome,” she added.
Shelby turned to Stephanie, her voice a whisper. “I guess she forgot I’m a lesbian.”
“There he is,” Josh said and they all turned. Doug was hurrying toward them, a smile on his face.
“Sorry, guys. I did a little exploring in town and the time got away from me.” He turned to their mother. “You look fabulous, Mrs. Sutton. That color is perfect for you.”
Shelby playfully elbowed Stephanie as their mother blushed.
“Thank you. And I told you to call me Christine.”
“That you did.” He then turned to her, and Shelby clutched her hands behind her back, fearing he would want to kiss them again. “You look lovely, Shelby.” Then he winked at her. “I’m looking forward to that sleigh ride tonight.”
Shelby held her hand up. “Okay, look. They didn’t tell you this, but I’m not—”
“Oh, there’s Reagan,” Josh said, interrupting her.
Shelby turned, thankful to see her there. Josh went to her and hugged her quickly. Their conversation was too quiet for her to hear. When they came closer, some of the swagger had left Doug’s face.
“Well, Ray Ray, been a long time.”
Reagan glanced at him, finally giving him a slight smile. “Dougie. How’s it going?” she asked, holding out her hand to him.
“Great. Couldn’t be better. You?”
Their handshake was brief, and even her mother seemed to sense the tension between them.
“Okay, I guess.” Reagan slid her eyes to Shelby and Shelby met them. Whatever Reagan had done, she seemed to be better. Her eyes weren’t quite as haunted as before. “Do you and the best man have a dinner date or is this a group thing?”
For having known her only two days, Shelby recognized the teasing in her voice, even though Reagan’s face remained serious. Shelby smiled quickly.
“Definitely group,” she said. “Glad you could join us.”
* * *
God, if she had to listen to one more boring story about grad students, Reagan was going to scream. It was almost as bad as the continuous loop of Christmas songs playing in the background. How many versions of “Silver Bells” would they be subjected to?
Christine Sutton’s laughter rang out; she seemed to be completely captivated by Dougie’s charm. Reagan tuned it out as her gaze moved to Shelby. As if sensing her watching, Shelby turned and offered a quick smile.
Damn, but Shelby was cute. If she had all her wits about her, she should be trying to get to know her better. But she didn’t have her wits. And hell, she’d made a pass at her already. Shelby probably thought she picked up women in bars all the time. Far from it.
“So Ray Ray, where have you been? Last I heard, you were in the jungle,” Doug said.
Ray Ray. Did he know how she hated that nickname? Yes, of course he did. Dougie. But she would play nice. She hadn’t seen the guy in years. No sense in letting him get under her skin now.
“Yeah. I switched the jungle for the desert,” she said. “Back home now.”
“Out at the farm?” He laughed. “You always hated the farm.”
“I use to hate a lot of things,” she said, staring at him.
There were a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, then Stephanie cleared her throat.
“So…that prime rib was great, wasn’t it?”
The others picked up the conversation, but Reagan tuned that out as well. She felt uncomfortable being here, claustrophobic, nearly. She shifted in her chair, wondering how rude it would be if she got up and left.
She flinched when a hand touched her shoulder. It was Shelby, standing behind her. Reagan turned, meeting her gaze.
“How about a drink before the sleigh ride?” Shelby asked quietly. “I could use a break.”
Reagan nodded and stood up, pausing to glance back at the table. “Thanks for dinner,” she said, directing her comment to Mrs. Sutton. Then, with relief, she followed Shelby out of the restaurant and into the bar.
“It’s not so much a drink I need as a break from Doug,” Shelby said as they settled onto the barstools.
“Yeah, he’s a little over the top. But thank you. I was about to—”
“Bolt,” Shelby finished for her. “You okay?”
Reagan swallowed, then looked at Shelby. “No. Not really.”
But Shelby didn’t ask more questions and Reagan was thankful. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk now. She’d end up bawling like a baby if she did.
“I’ll just have a water, Zach. Reagan?”
Reagan nodded at Zach, then let out a sigh. “So, this sleigh ride thing…”
“Not really a sleigh ride,” Shelby said. “There’s not enough snow in the valley. So it’s more like a hay ride. It’s a trailer loaded with hay and it’ll be pulled by a tractor.” Shelby shook her head. “And don’t ask me why. Another of Mother’s brilliant ideas.”
“It’s not that cold out. It should be fun.”
Shelby raised her eyebrows. “Fun? Doug thinks we have a date.”
Reagan laughed. “Oh, Dougie, he doesn’t have a clue.”
“And why not? He knows you’re gay. Why doesn’t he have a clue?”
Reagan smiled at her. “Because he can’t see past the package. You’re very attractive, Shelby. That’s all he sees. He doesn’t care what’s inside.” She shrugged. “I haven’t known you long, of course, but I think what’s inside might be better than what’s outside.” She smiled again. “And that’s saying something, because the outside is gorgeous.”
Shelby stared at her for a moment, then looked away. “Thank you.”
Reagan leaned closer and playfully bumped her shoulder. “And I’m being sincere. I’m not hitting on you or throwing you a line.”
Shelby laughed quietly. “I know. And thank you.”
Reagan nodded her thanks at Zach and took a sip of her water. Sitting at a bar with a beautiful woman and drinking water. Something was wrong with that picture.
“Oh, honey, there you are.”
Reagan turned at the sound of the familiar voice, smiling as her parents came into the bar. She stood quickly, accepting the tight hug from her mother.
“Don’t let Brother Thomas know you’re in a bar,” she teased, referring to their Baptist minister.
“Brother Thomas doesn’t need to know everything,” her mother said. “How are you, honey?”
“I’m fine, Mom. Quit worrying.” She turned to her father and hugged him quickly. “How were the roads?”
“Nasty coming out of Denver,” he said. “Be glad you came early.”
Her mother glanced at Shelby, who had been sitting quietly, watching. Reagan turned to her with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry. Mom, Dad…this is Shelby Sutton.”
Shelby stood and held her hand out. “Pleasure to meet you,” she said with an easy smile.
“You’re Stephanie’s sister,” her mother said, taking her hand. “Although you don’t really look alike.”
“See,” Reagan murmured.
“I’m Margie. This is Frank,” she said, introducing her husband. Shelby shook his hand as well.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Well, I had no clue as to what to wear on a sleigh ride,” her mother said. “I’m glad to see both of you in jeans.”
“You’re dressed perfectly,” Shelby said. “And please don’t use my mother to gauge what you should wear,” she said with a laugh.
“It’s an old-fashioned hay ride, anyway,” Reagan said.
“Really? Well, that will be fun.”
“Oh, yeah. A blast. Cousin Dougie is already here.”
“He and Josh were always close,” she said. “Has he even spoken to you?”
“Mom, the Becky McFarlane thing was fifteen years ago.”
“And he hasn’t gotten over it yet. I’m certain that’s the reason he’s never married.”
“Oh, please. He’s obnoxious. That’s the reason he’s never gotten married,” she said.
Her mother laughed. “Well, there is that,” she said.
Chapter Seven
Shelby cringed when Doug took her elbow to guide her to the flatbed trailer loaded with hay. Apparently he thought she wasn’t capable of climbing up on her own. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Reagan’s amused expression as she helped her mother up.
“What a great idea Christine had,” Doug said. “This is going to be such fun.” He looked skyward. “Clear skies. A million stars twinkling.” He leaned closer. “Such a romantic setting, isn’t it?”
Seriously?
“Do you mind if we sit by you?”
“Please do,” Shelby said quickly to Reagan.
“Hello, Doug.”
“Hello, Aunt Margie, Uncle Frank,” he said with a quick nod at them.
Shelby smiled her thanks at Reagan as she sat down beside her. She glanced at Doug, noting how perturbed he looked.
Good.
“So…nice night,” Reagan said quietly, a smile in her voice.
Shelby turned to her, their eyes holding for a moment. “I plan to push him off into a snowbank once we get going,” she whispered.
Reagan laughed out loud, causing Doug to jerk around. “What?”
“Nothing,” Reagan said, wiping the smile from her face.
Shelby blew out her breath and leaned back against a hay bale, tuning out the quiet conversations around her. Actually, it was a nice night. Clear skies, no moon overhead yet. There were a million stars twinkling in the sky and it was kinda romantic. On one side of her sat Doug, a clueless man who thought he had a chance with her. On the other side, Reagan, an attractive—and troubled—woman who had blatantly hit on her the first time they met. Since she’d found out she was Stephanie’s sister, she’d shown no other signs of interest.
But now, sitting close like this, their shoulders nearly touching, Shelby felt herself drawn to her. She couldn’t help but wonder what troubled her so. Sometimes when she looked at Reagan, she could see it all over her face, in her eyes. Other times, she seemed lighter, less burdened by whatever demons haunted her.
The jerking of the trailer brought her out of her musings. There were perhaps fifteen people on the hay ride, only a few she didn’t recognize. She assumed they were relatives of Josh and Reagan. Josh and Stephanie sat by her mother and Shelby was shocked to see her mother in jeans. Expensive designer jeans, but jeans nonetheless. They were tucked into black, knee-high boots and she had a bulky sweater on. She looked almost normal. She smiled slightly as she saw Stephanie was dressed nearly identically.
Yes, it was a shame she didn’t get their sense of fashion, she thought dryly, as she crossed her legs, her loose jeans comfortable and her hiking boots practical.
