Chasing a Brighter Blue, page 17
Reagan took a plate and put a large helping of lasagna on it, then paused. “Have you told Stephanie about us?”
Shelby shook her head. “No. Did you say anything to Josh?”
“No.”
“I think Stephanie suspects something is going on, but I told her we were just friends,” she said. She met Reagan’s gaze. “I don’t know why, but I kinda want to keep this private.”
Reagan nodded. “Yeah. It’s their wedding.”
“Not to mention, the teasing would be merciless,” she said with a smile.
“And I’m sure your mother wouldn’t approve. I am just a lowly farm girl, after all.”
Shelby nudged her with her shoulder. “Oh, Reagan, you’re not a farm girl. And even if you were, that’s not the issue my mother would have.”
“I’m a woman.”
“Yes. I’m afraid she still has her sights set on Doug.” She laughed. “She even mentioned Duke as a possible candidate.”
“Wow. She must really be desperate for you to find a man,” Reagan teased.
Instead of sitting at the bar in the small kitchen, Shelby went to the sofa. Reagan followed and sat down beside her.
“My mother thinks it’s a game we play,” Shelby explained as she took a bite of the lasagna. “Oh, this is really, really good.”
“Mmm,” Reagan agreed as she chewed.
“Every so often, she pretends she doesn’t know I’m gay and will try to set me up with sons of some of her friends,” she said.
“Like the ladies you went to lunch with?”
Shelby nodded. “Two of them have sons about my age.”
“Was it brought up today?”
“No, thankfully. It was mostly all wedding talk.” She sighed. “I love Stephanie to death, but honestly, I’m so ready for this to be over with.”
“Well, we only have a few more days,” Reagan said as she twirled pasta on her fork.
“I didn’t mean I was ready for this to be over with,” she said with a smile. “But real life is right around the corner, isn’t it?”
“I know. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life now.”
Shelby met her gaze and was surprised to see some of that old sadness return. For the last several days, there had been no hint of the haunted look that had shadowed Reagan’s eyes the first week. She reached over and touched her hand, rubbing against it lightly.
“Let’s enjoy the next couple of days and not worry about real life just yet, huh?”
Reagan smiled. “If we enjoy it too much, we’re going to get caught.”
“Yeah. I suppose we should participate in the group outings.” She leaned over and kissed her lightly. “But tonight…will you stay with me?”
“I’d love to.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
“You look beautiful, sis.”
Stephanie turned from the mirror, her white gown flowing around her. She looked radiant, and Shelby felt a tiny stab of jealousy. This was something she would never have.
“Thank you. But I’m nervous,” Stephanie admitted.
“Are you?”
“It’s…it’s a big step. I mean—”
“Good Lord, you’re not having doubts, are you?”
Stephanie shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. Josh is—”
“Perfect for you.”
“He is, isn’t he?”
Shelby smiled and walked closer, giving her a hug. “He is. And soon it’ll be over with and he’ll whisk you away to Hawaii. All this madness will end.”
Stephanie nodded. “Yes. It’s been too long—this celebration. I think it’s taken its toll on Mother too. She was more stressed than I was at the rehearsal last night.”
“I think we’re all ready to call an end to this,” she said. “It’s been fun. Certainly different, that’s for sure.”
“Yes. At least you and Reagan seem to have hit it off. Do you think you’ll keep in touch after this?”
Shelby shrugged. “I don’t know.”
And really, she didn’t. While they’d spent a lot of time together the last few days—and nights—they hadn’t really talked about seeing each other. Reagan still didn’t know what she was going to do or where she was going to go. Shelby suspected Reagan still had some things to work through on her own…namely, whether she could ever pick up a camera again.
“Girls? Are you ready?”
Their mother’s shrill voice called from the other room, and Shelby took a deep breath, offering a smile to Stephanie. “It’ll be over soon,” she said again.
Stephanie surprised her by her tight hug. “I love you. I don’t think I would have made it had you not been here.”
“I love you too.”
When the door opened to the bedroom, it wasn’t their mother who came in, rather their father. He stopped in his tracks, his gaze traveling over both of them.
“My God, but don’t you two look lovely.” He came forward, kissing Shelby affectionately on the cheek, then turning to Stephanie. “You make a beautiful bride.” He leaned forward, kissing her as well. “I couldn’t be prouder.”
“Dad, don’t make me cry,” Stephanie said. “I just got my makeup done.”
“You look pretty handsome yourself,” Shelby said, noting his black tuxedo.
“Thank you. And if you’re ready, I’ll escort you down.”
“What about Mother?”
“She went ahead of us. She wanted to make sure everything was in place.”
“I thought she did that a couple of hours ago,” Shelby said.
“Yes, so did I.” He stuck his elbows out to them. “Shall we?”
Stephanie nodded. “I guess I’m ready.”
* * *
“Why are you nervous? You’re not the one getting married,” Josh said as he straightened Reagan’s tie. “You look beautiful.”
“You don’t think it’s too much?”
Her mother came and stood between, all three of them looking at their reflections in the mirror.
“You look lovely, Reagan,” she said. “And Josh…how could Frank and I have produced such beautiful kids? You get more handsome every year.”
Reagan smiled as Josh blushed.
“Well, don’t tell Dad, but I think we got your genes and not his.”
Their mother laughed, then linked arms with them both. “What a special day. I’m so thankful to have you both here. I feel so blessed.”
Reagan and Josh exchanged smiles in the mirror.
“What’s so funny?” their father asked as he joined them.
“Oh, just last-minute visiting,” their mother said. “Is it time?”
“Just about. You ready?”
“Yes. Why don’t you and Josh head down? We’ll be there in a minute.”
Reagan raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Something wrong?” she asked when the door closed.
Her mother shook her head. “No. I haven’t seen you in a couple of days though. The hotel isn’t that big, is it?”
Reagan felt a blush light her face, but she managed not to turn away from her mother’s curious gaze.
“I’ve been…around,” she said evasively.
Her mother laughed. “Thirty-two years old and you still blush. It’s very endearing.”
“Mom…”
Her mother waved her protest away. “So? I assume you’ve been with Shelby? I’ve been by your room a few times.”
Reagan tilted her head. “You could have called.”
“Is that a yes?”
She sighed. “Yes.”
Her mother smiled, but there was no sign of teasing. “Shelby is good for you, I think. You look almost back to normal.”
Reagan shook her head. “Almost. But yes, she’s been good for me. She’s taken my mind off…well, what happened over there, it’s not forefront in my mind anymore. At least, not at the moment.” She shrugged. “When I leave here, who knows?”
“Are you ready to tell me what happened?”
She took a deep breath. She didn’t really want to go into it all again. If she talked about it, she was afraid it would no longer stay at the back of her mind. But her mother was looking at her expectantly, and she didn’t want to shut her out.
“There was a bomb,” she said quietly. “I was…shooting, like always. Our team leader—my friend—Richard tried to protect us, I guess. He ran toward the bomber, shielded us.” She looked away, picturing Little George’s face etched in terror, seeing the blur of Richard as he ran into her frame. “I did nothing to help,” she said quietly. “I just continued clicking away with my camera, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.” She looked back at her. “There was a little boy. The bomber had him.” She swallowed. “Richard took action. I did nothing but capture it all with my camera. Right up until the bomb went off.”
Her mother stared at her, questions in her eyes.
“Were you in…danger?” she asked.
Reagan nodded. “If Richard hadn’t…well, if he hadn’t…” she sighed. “Yes. I might have been killed.”
Her mother stepped closer, cupping her cheek with one hand. “Oh, my sweet Reagan. You grieve for your friend, yet you’re eaten up with guilt.” She dropped her hand. “And here I am being thankful for your friend. Selfish, I know, but I’m glad he took action and you did not.”
Reagan tried to blink her tears away. “I feel like a coward.”
“Why? Because you were spared?”
“No. It all happened so fast. But in retrospect, I wouldn’t have done anything different. I wouldn’t have run toward the bomber. If anything, I would have run away.”
“That doesn’t make you a coward, Reagan.”
“No? Richard didn’t run.”
“So that’s it? You’re either a hero or a coward? Nothing in between?” Her mother took her hand and squeezed. “It’s not all black and white, Reagan. It’s not either-or.”
She blew out her breath. “It’s just something I need to work through, Mom, that’s all.”
“So where will you go? Everyone is leaving tomorrow or Sunday. Will you come back to the farm with us?” She paused. “Or do you have another assignment?”
Reagan shook her head. “I haven’t…I haven’t been able to pick up a camera, so no. I don’t have an assignment.”
“You know you’re welcome to come home. We would love to have you there for as long as you need.”
Reagan smiled. “Thanks. But I remember how cold January can be out at the farm.”
Her mother nodded. “Well, just know you’re welcome.” She paused. “Or maybe you have plans with Shelby?”
Reagan leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek. “No, Mom. I may go to San Diego, hang out at the beach and chill out for a while, try to wrap my head around all this. I have a friend there.”
“Okay. Whatever you need. Just don’t disappear on us.”
“I won’t.”
Her mother nodded. “Well, I suppose we should head down. We don’t want to keep them waiting.”
Reagan glanced back in the mirror. “Do I really look okay? It’s a really bright blue, isn’t it?” she asked as she tugged on her vest.
“You look very nice, Reagan. And I imagine this color will look beautiful on Shelby too.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Shelby took a moment to look around. Bruce and the staff had done a wonderful job of transforming the ballroom into a wedding chapel. Most of the Christmas decorations remained, including all of the trees that had been brought in and decorated for the dance. The colorful Christmas lights, though, had been replaced with white and blue to tie in with Stephanie’s color scheme. As the music started, the guests turned, watching her. She was surprised at the number of people who had stayed over for the ceremony. She took a deep breath, nodding slightly as Doug held his elbow out, waiting for her to link arms with him.
She looked down the aisle slowly, seeing Josh and Reagan walk to the front and stand on either side of the minister. Next to Josh stood Geoff, his friend from law school. She tried not to stare, but her eyes were drawn back to Reagan. She looked nearly pristine in her white tuxedo pants and shirt, the blue vest an exact match to her own dress. Reagan locked eyes with her, and Shelby nearly faltered in her step. The look in her eyes said Reagan was remembering how they’d spent the morning. Who knew making love in the shower could be so much fun?
She smiled slightly, acknowledging Reagan, then turned her gaze to Josh, who was nearly beaming, not showing any signs of nervousness. As they approached the front, she separated from Doug and went to stand beside Reagan. Doug took his place next to Geoff.
The music changed, and everyone’s gaze again turned to the back where Stephanie stood between their parents. Stephanie looked radiant…and nervous. Shelby smiled reassuringly at her and gave a short nod.
As her parents escorted Stephanie down the aisle, Shelby became aware of Reagan’s shoulder brushing her own. She moved closer to her, relishing the contact.
“You look beautiful.”
The words were whispered so quietly she barely heard them. She chanced a quick glance at Reagan, seeing the fire in her eyes. She hoped everyone’s attention was on Stephanie and not her as she briefly touched hands with Reagan.
She would have liked to have said the ceremony was beautiful and touching, but the truth was, her mind wasn’t on it and she listened to very little of it. Instead, she was conscious only of Reagan beside her. She closed her eyes briefly, picturing Reagan as she’d been that morning, dripping wet as she’d held Shelby against the shower wall—her mouth at her breast, her hand between her thighs.
And now here it was…Christmas Day. Or rather, evening. The lengthy wedding celebration was nearing its end, which meant her affair with Reagan was as well. Cocktails and cheese, champagne and cake would follow the ceremony, then Stephanie and Josh would make their escape. Their father was flying them to Denver bright and early tomorrow to catch a flight to Hawaii. She assumed most of the guests would be leaving tomorrow too, although the rooms were paid for through Sunday.
She and Reagan had not really finalized anything. She had planned on heading back to Denver tomorrow too. She had laundry to do, and she needed a day to recoup before going back to work on Monday. She knew Reagan’s parents were leaving as well. She glanced over at Reagan. Would she stay another day? Would she ask Shelby to join her?
“You may kiss the bride.”
Clapping ensued, and Shelby brought her attention back to the happy couple as Stephanie and Josh exchanged a rather intimate kiss before turning to their guests with big smiles. They linked arms and headed down the aisle. Shelby placed her hand in the crook of Doug’s elbow, letting him escort her as they followed Stephanie and Josh. Reagan and Geoff followed them.
And just like that…it was over with. Nothing disastrous happened because Reagan wore a tux. Nothing scandalous happened, and there were no mishaps for her mother to bemoan. The service went off without a hitch. She almost felt sorry for her mother. What would she focus on now? The wedding planning had been at the center of her world for the last year. Where would she turn her attention to now?
“You look amazing. That color is stunning on you.”
She turned to Doug. “Thank you. You look very nice too.”
He tilted his head. “I’m going to stay on until Sunday. What are your plans?”
She smiled quickly. “Sorry. Leaving tomorrow. But it was very nice to meet you. Have a safe trip back,” she said dismissively and turned away, finding Reagan watching. She smiled at her and headed in her direction.
“Short and sweet,” Reagan said. “My kind of wedding.”
Shelby let her gaze travel over Reagan. “That tuxedo is perfect for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” She smiled wickedly. “I’ll let you take it off of me later if you’d like.”
Shelby met her eyes. “I’m fairly certain I’ll need help with my dress too.”
Reagan’s mother came over, holding her phone up. “You two stand together. I want to take your picture.”
“Mom…”
Shelby laughed and grabbed Reagan’s arm, slipping her hand around her elbow. “She looks dashing, doesn’t she?”
Margie nodded. “She is most beautiful, yes.” She smiled sweetly. “The two of you together are simply stunning.”
“Mom…” Reagan groaned again.
“Well, it’s the truth,” she said as she pointed her phone’s camera at them. “Smile!”
* * *
Reagan set the champagne glass down after having taken only a sip…just enough to participate in the toast. She’d never seen her brother looking as happy as he did tonight, and she’d hugged him tightly before he and Stephanie had slipped away. She was a bit envious. Not necessarily for their honeymoon, but spending a few weeks on a beach in Hawaii sounded like fun. And it was a very long way from Afghanistan.
But so was San Diego. She hadn’t been there in years, and she hadn’t seen Gillian since she’d run into her at a party in LA almost two years ago now. She’d first met Gillian in college when she had been a guest speaker in one of her classes. Gillian was probably thirty years older than she was, but they’d become friends. If there was anyone she would call her mentor, it would be her. But it was hard to maintain friendships—relationships of any kind—as she bounced around the globe, going from conflict to conflict, slowing down just enough to catch her breath before heading out again.
When she’d last seen Gillian, she’d extended an invitation to visit, to relax on the beach, to chill out for a while. That was right after Reagan had returned from Serbia. She should have taken her up on it then. Serbia had been a rough assignment and she couldn’t wait to get out of there. But she was about to head to Colombia and the drug wars and she couldn’t spare a week to “chill out.”
She hoped Gillian would be receptive to a visit now. An extended visit. Reagan had to decide what the hell she was going to do with the rest of her life. Maybe Shelby was right. Maybe she was chasing the wrong things. Maybe instead of conflicts and war, she could turn to politics. Maybe follow presidential candidates around as they gave speeches and stumped for votes. She silently groaned at that thought.
