I Need You To Hate Me, page 8
“There’s no such thing,” Ace interrupts.
I disagree. My dad fell in love with Mom when he first saw her. He’s told me the story over a hundred times.
It was one of his first shifts on the job. He got called to deal with a public nuisance matter. My mother was twenty-four, freshly single, and drunk—stripping in the middle of a busy highway. She didn’t remember how she got there. Instead of arresting her, my dad dropped her home in his patrol car with the lights on simply because she requested it. He didn’t even question it; he was too consumed by her. They were inseparable after that.
“What would you know? You’ve never had a girlfriend, Ace,” Liv says and turns back to Zach.
I raise my eyebrows. “You’ve never had a girlfriend?”
“It’s not a big deal.” He shrugs.
It kind of is. I’ve had numerous boyfriends from first grade up until the last. None of them had been serious, but that’s not the point. “Is there a reason?”
“I’ve never met someone who’s been able to keep my attention for long enough. I don’t think it’s fair to stick around purely for the sake of it.” Ace shoves his hands in his pockets.
“That’s an awfully cocky thing to say,” I say, glancing at him for elaboration. We pass a street lamp, and the warm yellow ambiance forces Ace’s eyes to appear softer.
He raises his eyebrows. “Do you want me to lie and tell you that the reason I’ve never had a girlfriend is because I’m a conceited asshole?”
A smile plays on my lips. “That certainly would be more believable.”
Ace chuckles and shakes his head. The hearty sound sends a burst of electricity through me. I’m still trying to get used to him being anything but an asshole, so when he laughs like that, it takes me by surprise.
I swear, from the moment I punched him at the party, he’s had a whole mood revamp. I’m still confused by it, but I’m not going to bother questioning it anymore. I like this side of him.
“Thank you for the CD, by the way. You were right—Arctic Monkeys are pretty good.”
Ace glances at me and gives me a look that says I told you so. “What’s your favorite song?”
“Ah, I think it would have to be 505.”
“One of my favorites too,” he says. Our arms brush unintentionally, and the hairs on the back of my neck rise.
“Have you traveled?” I ask.
“A bit. My father…” His tone sharpens. “Traveled for work a lot. Sometimes he’d take my mom and me with him; it didn’t happen very often. But I visited Canada and England when I was younger,” he explains as we continue walking.
“And then my mom’s parents lived in Spain, so we visited them every now and then. Until my Abuela—grandmother—passed and my mom moved my Avô into a nursing home here. He’s passed away since too.”
“I’m sorry.” I’m surprised that Ace chose to reveal that much information about himself—about his family.
“It was a long time ago.” Ace brushes it off. “I wasn’t extremely close to them.”
“So, you have a bit of Spanish in you?”
“Only on my Abuela’s side. My Avô was Brazilian.”
I make an effort to look him up and down. “I can see it.” It explains his skin’s beautiful light brown complexion and the arresting dark hair.
My eyes travel to my feet as we cross the road, heading towards the campus.
“Your favorite movie?” Ace starts up another conversation.
“I can’t pick one,” I say. There are too many great films. I’ve watched them all through the days I locked myself in my room.
“Name a few,” Ace suggests.
“The Time Traveler’s Wife—but the book is so much better—La La Land, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind…”
Ace laughs.
“What?”
“I don’t get it. What’s the point of erasing their memories if they were going to come back together again?” He looks at me for further clarification.
The movie follows a couple who embark on a journey to erase themselves from each other’s memories after an awful breakup.
“It shows that despite their best efforts to forget each other, and despite each other’s flaws and failures, they’re still willing to give it another chance. People can’t be modified by ignorance or renunciation,” I explain, mindlessly moving my hands around.
He shakes his head. “If you observed the ending, it shows that they end up in the same position over and over again. They find each other, fall in love, break up, and then erase each other over and over. I don’t see why they would waste their time.”
“Yes, they may eventually break up, but they don’t care. It’s about their time together. You’ve never had a girlfriend, and it shows.” I roll my eyes.
Ace shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. He shakes his head, a smirk emerging on his broad mouth.
I’m surprised to see the red university buildings in the distance already. The walk went quicker than I anticipated. We make our way to the fields at the back of the campus. The football guys are divided into four groups. Each group is doing warm-up drills that have been assigned to them.
Theo spots us and makes sure the coach isn’t watching before jogging towards us with a grin. His already athletic figure is emphasized by the protective layer of clothing clinging to his shoulders and legs.
“Hey, guys! Get ready for a dirty game. The guys from Ashworth have already started fights with two of our guys. We’re not going to be holding back,” he says, anticipation peering through his voice. Theo is jumping from foot to foot in the same spot, keeping his body warm.
Oh, Ashworth University—the rivals.
“I hope not. I came tonight to see blood spilled,” a voice says from behind us. I twist my body around to find Josh standing with his arms crossed. When did he get here?
The coach, that’s in no shape to play himself, blows the whistle that dangles off his chest. “Theo Medeiros! Get over here, now!”
“Oops, sorry, guys. Have to go!” Theo says and jogs off towards his teammates.
We find our seats in the grandstand, away from everyone else. Once the game starts, Josh calls out encouraging words to Theo. “Come on! You got this, Theodore.”
My gaze darts to Ace, but his attention isn’t on the game anymore. His body is rigid, and he’s gripping the seat with his hands so brutally that his knuckles have gone white. His forearm veins are present, swelling due to the tension. My eyes continue to travel up the leanness of his body, which is stiff on the bench, finally landing on his face.
Ace’s mouth is set into a forbidden line. His jaw is clenched so powerfully that my own teeth begin to hurt. “Hey, you okay?” I ask, following his gaze.
A blacked-out vintage Chevrolet has pulled up in the parking lot across the road. The streetlamps that surround the area are bright, so I can make out the details. There aren’t many cars there, only the ones from Ashworth University—most students from ours came here on foot.
The driver’s side door of the Chevrolet swings open, and an eerily familiar figure climbs out. I squint, peering over Ace’s shoulder. The guy turns, giving me a clear view of his face—Logan. He sticks his chest out further and stands taller. Another person gets out of the passenger seat. I don’t recognize him.
“Stay here,” Ace snarls. He stands, storming towards Logan. His hands are clenched into fists at his side, and I hope a fight isn’t about to break out in the parking lot. From the way Ace is striding towards Logan, the chances of a peaceful confrontation seem awfully limited.
The hurricane of Ace storms to Logan’s car, and a heated argument erupts between them. I can’t distinguish what they are saying, but Ace’s rage is burning off him. Logan, on the other hand, is leaning against the side of his car.
Ace slams the hood of the car with his hand. “Get the fuck out of here!”
I’m so consumed by the scene unfolding in front of me I barely notice Zach and Josh are already halfway there. Liv gets out of her seat to follow, and I find myself doing the same. We jog down the stairs, and through groups of game-watchers to catch up to them.
We get closer, and a feral smirk appears on Logan’s mouth when his attention lands on us. “Hey, what’s going on here?” Zach asks. No one listens to him.
“Logan, you have three seconds to leave,” Ace seethes, inches away from his face. I’ve seen Ace angry before—all the times that we ran into each other when we first met. But this is different. The colossal fury is building through his shaking body. I’m terrified of what might happen if the situation isn’t diffused. Fast.
Logan doesn’t move. His smirk doesn’t falter as he speaks. “Or what?”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, Ace grabs Logan by the collar. Everything happens too fast for me to comprehend. Logan’s friend, the one that came with him, is instantly at Ace’s side. Josh and Zach are there too, preparing for a fight to break out.
Zach places a hand on Ace’s shoulder. “Let it go, man. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Ace ignores him. Instead, he shoves Logan with an incredible amount of force into the open driver’s side door. Logan staggers back, but regains his balance without delay—he’s not backing down.
“You don’t want to see what will happen,” Ace corners him.
Logan shakes his head—an animalistic expression crosses his face. A vicious sneer.
He knows he’s outnumbered, but he clearly doesn’t seem to care. He’s either foolish or knows something that we don’t. “One wrong move, Ace, and everyone here will know your secret. Do you think your friends will accept you after knowing what you’ve done?”
Ace glowers at Logan with absolute hatred. His eyes flicker towards us, from Zach to Josh, and then linger the longest on me. There’s a glimmer of culpability through the rage and animosity which gushes through him. Ace turns on his heel and storms off in the opposite direction.
I have the urge to follow him, to ensure he’s okay. Yet, I’m unable to move my feet, they are fixed to the ground.
“Good decision,” Logan calls after him, brushing his shirt with his hand as if this was merely a misunderstanding.
“I’m going to make sure he doesn’t do anything irrational. Stay here—watch the game,” Zach says to us and chases after Ace.
Liv nods in understanding, and when I don’t make a move, she tugs on my arm. My feet move, shuffling in front of one another. As we walk back towards the fields, my own hands are shaking uncontrollably.
We stay for the remainder of the game, but the mood has drastically fallen. No one speaks of the incident. The words that Logan said replay in my mind over and over. Logan has something on Ace that not even his best friends know. What could possibly be so awful?
Ace keeps his distance from me after the game and once again disappears over the weekend. No one says anything, and Zach becomes more distant than usual. I focus on my university work and finally type up an article for the newspaper. After reading over it more than a hundred times, I delete it.
Nate hasn’t come into the café since the day after the party, so I assumed, as one would, that he received the message. But that doesn’t seem to be the case, because when I turn around, he’s right in front of me.
“Want to go see a movie?” he asks as I move past him with a tray of coffee cups. I set the tray on the bench behind the counter and place the cups in the sink.
“Nate, I’m working,” I say, throwing mango bits in the blender for a smoothie order.
Mia is off today, so I’m working with Brody. He seems normal…well, more normal than usual. Maybe Mars isn’t doing something uncanny with Jupiter anymore. Brody doesn’t communicate much, and perhaps that would be awkward for some, but a sense of calm washes over me in his presence.
“I’ll wait.” Nate takes a seat on the barstool near the counter.
“Nate, what are you doing? We broke up,” I ask, not wanting to cause a scene.
“I miss you,” he says. I roll my eyes. “Seriously, Calla, I do. I miss being able to talk to you, and you know…just hang out like we used to. It’s different here. I haven’t made many friends, and…” He trails off.
He looks genuinely upset, and I kind of feel sorry for him. “Fine, we can go see a movie. But don’t get any ideas. This doesn’t mean that we’re getting back together,” I make myself clear. Apart from the little incident called losing my virginity, which put me off sex for the rest of my life, we had pleasant times together.
Brody eyes Nate every now and then. “Is that your boyfriend?” Brody finally asks me.
“No, ex,” I reply.
“Hmm,” he says, but I can sense there’s something else on his mind—unless I’m imagining things.
Liv and Zach walk into the cafe when there are twenty minutes left of my shift, with Ace following suit. His gleaming eyes search for me, and when he finds what he’s looking for, a crooked grin emerges on his mouth.
Even after a week, I’m still not accustomed to this side of him. A switch has flipped, and he’s suddenly pleasant. This is only towards me; his behavior towards others hasn’t changed, making me feel… What? What does that make you feel, Calla? Warm and fuzzy? Snap out of it, because it probably isn’t going to last. Although my conscience is right, I can’t help but notice the good in him, and I want to spend time with him. As friends, of course.
Over the week, I’ve discovered that he’s an old soul at heart. Apart from Arctic Monkeys, the CD that he gave me had other rock music on it. Some nights I sit in my car listening to it. His favorite color is black. I told him it’s not a color. Still, he was adamant that it could be whatever he wanted it to be—I didn’t bother arguing.
Ace’s gaze shifts from me to Nate, who’s sitting in front of me. Nate is clueless as he scrolls through his Facebook feed, patiently waiting for me. I’m about to clock off when Ace comes over and towers above me.
“Do you want a ride back home?” Ace asks me without acknowledging Nate.
Zach and Liv leave the café. They open the door wide enough for a breeze to glide its way inside, and the smell of Ace’s aftershave lingers in the air, musky with a hint of sweetness.
Nate’s head snaps up at Ace’s words, and he rises from the seat. He stretches his body out to appear taller. “There is no need, dude. I’ll take her.”
“Why bother when I’m going there anyway?” Ace smirks, his eyes not leaving mine. He doesn’t even send a glance in Nate’s direction.
Out of the corner of my sight, Nate shoots me a look. I tear my eyes away from Ace. “He’s my housemate,” I explain to Nate, unsure of why I even need to.
“Calla and I are going to the movies,” Nate presses, his eyes darkening with irritation, and he steps closer to me.
“Well, that’s funny, because I clearly remember Calla and I making plans to work on our assignment tonight.” Ace raises his eyebrow. “Must have double booked yourself there, Calla.” A boyish grin crosses his face.
What? I don’t remember making any plans with him tonight. I glance at Ace, puzzled. I’m uncertain if he genuinely believes that we have something planned, or is this one of his games?
“We can work on it tomorrow?”
“No…tonight, Calla.” My name rolls off his tongue like honey, with a hint of a sharp edge.
I rack my brain for any recollection of making plans with Ace. Eventually, beginning to doubt my memory, I glance back at Nate.
“Maybe another time,” I say. Before I have the time to spit out an apology, Ace wraps his arm around my waist. He tugs me smoothly towards the door.
“What was that?” I cross my arms when we’re outside. My eyes dart through the window towards Nate, who’s still standing where I left him. I’m not exactly sure what Ace just pulled, and I’m not in the slightest bit impressed. Why does he think he can do that? Logan, now Nate.
“What was what?” he asks nonchalantly, attempting to put the bike helmet on me. I stop him and place my hand on his solid chest. I attempt to push him away from me, but he doesn’t move, so I end up taking a step back. This results in Ace furrowing his eyebrows.
“We didn’t make plans.” I wait for an explanation.
“Didn’t we? Hmm…” He pauses for a moment and cocks his head. His eyes sparkle. “Well, do you want to work on the assignment tonight, since you don’t have any other plans?” A smile crosses his face.
“Ace—” I begin, still wanting an explanation for his behavior. I haven’t spoken to him since the game. The memory of the pure vehemence of anger is still vivid in my mind.
“Perfect,” Ace says, not letting me finish. He places the helmet over my head. Ugh! What is wrong with him!?
He hops onto the motorcycle and watches me, waiting for me to get behind him. I roll my eyes and swing my leg over the side. I don’t have the energy to argue with him, and it’s either walk home or this. Plus, I can’t escape the lively feeling embracing my body at the thought of spending more time with Ace.
I place my hands loosely around his waist. He stiffens—his stomach becoming rock-hard underneath my faint touch.
The whole way home, I keep my hands freely around him, avoiding grasping tighter when we round the corners. My eyes remain open, even when they water in the breeze. We pass the shadows of the trees at a swift speed. We’re barely going fifty miles per hour, but liberty encompasses us. My soul feels limitless and untamed. Is this why Ace prefers motorcycles?
Back at the house, I walk towards the stairs with Ace behind me. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll just quickly change and grab my notepad,” I say and continue heading up.
“Notepad?”
I turn around and motion with my hand. “The assignment? I thought you wanted to do the assignment, Ace. Isn’t that why I’m not at the movies with Nate?”
His face tenses up at the mention of Nate, but he covers it with a smile. “Yeah, the assignment…I’ll be in my room, so…come when you’re ready.”
He’s acting strange.
In my room, I change into a long white t-shirt and some pajama shorts. I run a brush through my hair and clean my teeth before grabbing my notepad, heading downstairs.
