I Need You To Hate Me, page 20
“Nate! That’s enough. Let’s go.” I raise my voice, and he looks at me wide-eyed, blood running down his cheek.
I’ve never raised my voice at him before, but he’s really beginning to frustrate me. This whole scene that both of them have caused has given me a piercing headache. I massage my temple, aiming to alleviate the pain.
“Can you help me? I think I’m feeling a little light-headed,” Nate finally says. I sigh, placing my arm around his waist, and he throws a hand over my shoulders.
“You can’t be fucking serious?” Ace asks in disbelief.
“Ace, don’t,” I say, conclusiveness ringing through my voice, and Nate turns to grin at him.
I drag him outside, towards my car, before something terrible happens. I’m astounded Ace managed to keep his temper intact for the last five minutes.
“What was that? Are you trying to cause a fight?” I ask Nate when I get into the driver’s seat and start my car.
“Calla, I really don’t like him. There’s something off about him.” Nate looks straight ahead.
“I’m sure he thinks the same about you.”
He’s quiet for a while, and I welcome the silence. It’s not until I pull up at the old hospital building that he speaks again.
“So what? Are you two fucking or something?”
I shoot him a look, narrowing my eyes, knowing that I’m not going to be having this conversation with Nate, my ex. “It’s none of your business.”
Nate does end up having to get stitches, and I sit with him after convincing the doctor that we’re family. Nate takes my hand in his when the doctor begins the stitches. I let him. He runs his thumb over the back of my hand and cringes when the needle goes into his skin.
The doctor informs us that Nate might be a little delirious from the injury and the medication, but he should be back to his regular self tomorrow.
Luckily, he lives with roommates, so he has someone to keep an eye on him tonight. He provides me with directions to the house, and I end up taking a few wrong turns because Nate is high on medication.
At last, I pull up in front of the small building, Nate turns to me. “I love you, Calla.”
I assume he’s stating it as a way to thank me. The words have been thrown between us previously. “I love you too,” I say and open my door to get out, to lead Nate inside.
“No. I’m in love with you.”
Oh.
Oh, please, no. I can’t take anything else tonight, and my head is spinning, knowing that Ace will be waiting for me when I get back.
“I think you hit your head pretty hard. We’ll talk about this tomorrow when you’re feeling better.” I hope he fails to recall this conversation by tomorrow.
“I’m serious. I’m in love with you. I’m a fucking idiot for ending us.”
I stare at him; his eyes are lined with sincerity, but I really hope it’s the drugs. I’m uncertain what to say. If he had expressed this two months ago, then things may have turned out differently. But the truth is, I don’t feel anything for Nate anymore. I care about him, but that’s not equivalent, far from it. He’s like family.
“Nate, please. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I drop my head in my hands.
“Calla…”
“Please, Nate. Tomorrow.”
He nods, unwillingly getting out of the car, and I lead him to the front door before driving back to the house. I sit in the car out front, the silence devouring me. My mind dashes a million miles an hour, and I’m incapable of decelerating. The familiar starry night sky is covered with clouds tonight, like my thoughts.
I can’t decipher if Nate’s words had any truth to them. It’s an onerous topic to cast on someone, and I really hope it’s a misunderstanding. He couldn’t be in love with me. Absolutely not.
Ace is reading one of his books on the couch, or so it seems. His body is positioned upright and stiff, as if he abruptly placed himself there when he heard the turn of my key in the lock. It’s been a couple of hours since I left for the hospital, and what I’ve come to discover about Ace, is he’s the most impatient person I’ve ever met.
His abysmal eyes meet mine, and he peers behind me as if checking for someone. “Where’s the idiot?”
I roll my eyes at his impoliteness, placing my keys on the kitchen counter, I get a drink. “I took him home after the hospital.”
“Fucking pussy,” he mutters under his breath. He shuts the book and flings it on the couch.
I narrow my eyes at him. I don’t know why it surprises me anymore, his insolence. I should have become accustomed to it by now, but I haven’t—on the contrary, actually.
“Nate is my friend.” I take a sip of the water and place the glass on the counter, the droplets trickling down it.
And he is, for now. I’ll have to determine how to deal with the situation in the next few days, once Nate comes to his senses. It doesn’t make sense for him to love me; our relationship wasn’t exactly all that, and he was the one who broke up with me.
“Friend my fucking ass. His hands were all over you,” Ace grumbles, and he stands up from the couch, making his way over to me. His posture is rigid, and he crosses his arms.
His sweatpants are hanging low on his hips, exposing his v-line, and I promptly bring my eyes back up to his, but he’s already detected me checking him out. A wry smile etches onto his face.
“Does that bother you?” I ask, referring to Nate. It visibly does, but I want to hear it.
“Does that bother me?” He scoffs. “Are you trying to provoke me?” he asks rhetorically, stepping even closer to me.
As if on cue, my heart beats rapidly in my chest. My body craves his touch, but I set my hand on his bare chest, stopping him in his tracks. I’m not going to forget about last night.
“Where did you go yesterday? You just disappeared.”
He closes his eyes and pauses before opening them again. I wait for an explanation, giving him a chance—the benefit of the doubt. Ace doesn’t appear to get the message that I’m giving him a chance for redemption, so I twist on my heel and head towards the stairs. I refuse to wait for him to come up with excuses. If he believes I will put up with this, he’s dead wrong.
I may like him a great deal. Maybe even beyond that, but I won’t allow someone to walk over me.
I don’t have the chance to place a foot on the first step when my whole body is lifted off the ground. He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like I’m merely an object.
“Ace!”
What the hell is his problem? He can’t do this when he doesn’t get his way. I’m staring at his lower back and his ass—in fact, a very toned ass.
No—not the time. I’m irritated with him.
“Put me down!” I smack my fists on his ass, but it doesn’t accomplish anything except summon a laugh from him. The vibrations from it pulse through my body.
Ace doesn’t set me down until we’re in his room with the door closed. My feet touch the cold hardwood. I stagger, losing my balance from being upside-down, and my back meets the door.
“Don’t walk away from me, Calla.”
The way he’s watching me is demanding and hot. So freaking hot. The low light in his room causes his muscles to appear more defined and his jawline more prominent than it already is.
But I refuse to fall for his games. I strive to push him away with one hand, but I swear he’s built of steel, he doesn’t shift. Not even a little. I try again and glare at him. He appears to get the message that I’m pissed off, because he takes a step back but positions his hands on either side of the door.
He glances down at me, smirking. “Has anyone told you that you look like a beaver when you’re angry? With those flaring cheeks and scrunched-up nose.”
He’s comparing me to a freaking rodent. Insulting me…right now? I can’t take any more of this from him. Games—he’s playing games.
I raise my hand to slap him, but he catches my wrist without even blinking. He leans closer to me, his lips brushing my cheek. “Wanna try that again, love?”
And even when I’m mad at him, the fireworks in my stomach explode from the endearment.
“Ace, I told you I’m not a second option, and last night, you made me feel like I was exactly that.”
His eyebrows furrow, and if I didn’t know any better, I would say he seems apologetic. But it’s Ace we’re talking about.
“I had to go sort some shit out with Logan,” he says.
“Logan?” I echo.
“A friend needed my help. Logan wouldn’t let her leave until she called me. He used her to get my attention.”
His jaw stiffens, and he runs his hand through his hair before placing it back on the door behind me. I feel foolish for getting upset over this, but he should have communicated last night before leaving me to question everything.
I’m still held in the dark about what’s occurring between Logan and Ace. But I’m allowing Ace to reveal it on his own—when he’s ready to do so.
“I told you, you don’t have any competition. You don’t have anything to worry about. I only want you,” Ace reiterates.
I only want you. I acknowledge the words, they flow over me like a river, and my body temperature rises.
“You didn’t even explain. You just left,” I argue.
“I know. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m not used to explaining my actions to anyone.”
Clearly.
“But I will, for you—for us. I want this to work. When I’m with you, it’s as though I’m able to think clearly, see clearly. I can’t explain it…” Ace shuts his eyes as if he’s struggling to find a way. But I understand what he means. The feelings are mutual.
“Calla…I—” he begins. I forget how to breathe. Ace shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. It’s one of the very limited times that I’ve seen him lost for words.
“I know what you mean. I think of it as finally being able to breathe after drowning for so long.” I convey the concept to him without realizing I’m revealing the depth of my feelings.
Ace takes a step back and stares at me as if to perceive me more clearly. “Exactly.”
He sits on his bed, and I join him. The air in the room thickens.
“I wanted to ask you…” I stare at my hands as they become the safest things in the room. “Are we…” I’m uncertain of how to go about phrasing the question.
“When I introduce you to someone—what do I say you are to me?” I squeeze my eyes shut. It’s unclear why I’m embarrassed; all I want to know is where I stand with Ace.
He takes my hand in his, stilling my fingers. A wave of peace sweeps over me, and I open my eyes.
“Well, you could introduce me as your boyfriend. That is, of course, if that’s what you want.”
“Boyfriend?” I mull over the idea. My tone is steady, however, my insides are anything but. Perhaps this means a great deal to me because Ace has never had a relationship.
I lift my head to glance at him. His eyes twinkle in delight, a sensual smile is plastered on his well-proportioned mouth.
“I’m not usually the one to care for labels, Calla. This is a first for me, so please tell me if I’m going too fast for you. But I’d really like to call you my girlfriend.”
“Hmm, is that so?” I ask, stroking my fingers against the inside of his palm. His whole body stills, and I attain consolation in knowing I have the same effect on him that he has on me.
“You’re really making me work for it, aren’t you, love?”
My hand brushes up his arm. “I’m keeping you on your toes. Wouldn’t want you to get bored with me.”
He shakes his head and gently places both of his hands on either side of my face. “Not in a million years.”
He leans down, and his mouth joins with mine, setting every inch of my skin into an inferno.
20
Stars Colliding
THE SOFT SUN trickles in from the curtains. My eyes are still shut as I scoot my back closer to the warmth behind me. The unusual feeling of being energized overcomes me. I don’t recall the last time I felt this way when waking up. I don’t open my eyes, wanting to savor this moment.
Someone clears their throat next to me. A familiar sound that I’d recognize anywhere. “Calla, can you not rub your ass on me…?” Ace sighs, placing his hand on my hip to stop my movements.
My eyes fly open, and I turn around, meeting Ace’s intense stare. His dark hair is scruffy, and my hand reaches for it. I run my fingers through it, tugging at the little curls gently. I’ve been sleeping in his room, in his bed, the last couple of nights, primarily because he insists.
I don’t mind. I haven’t had any nightmares, when I usually get them at least every second night. Ace’s company succors me, and I recognize my presence does the same thing for him. The dark circles that frequently linger under his vibrant eyes have faded, and he’s even more handsome.
It takes me a while to understand what he said, but my hand travels down to his boxer briefs once I do. My mouth curves into a cheeky smile, and he groans.
“Give me a second,” I say. I get up and head for the bathroom. I wash my face and use my finger to swish toothpaste around my mouth since I left my toothbrush upstairs.
I lie on his bed and continue from where we left off two minutes ago.
“Fuck, Calla,” Ace warns, gritting his teeth. He grabs my hand to stop me, but I’m not having any of it.
“Ace, good morning.” I say his name in the most compelling way I can. I keep my hand there and move it against his substantial length. He closes his eyes and groans in pleasure, sending vibrations against every part of my body.
He drapes his hands around my waist and flips me, so I’m on top of him. Our lips fit effortlessly, as if they were meant for each other. I run my tongue over his lips, appreciating the fullness of them. His hands travel up my shirt.
I shake my head. “Ah, no touching,” I whisper against his mouth.
He narrows his eyes. “That’s not fair,” he mutters, sulking.
“Shh.” I bring my finger to his lips, ignoring his protests. His mouth opens, gripping it softly in-between his teeth. I wrap my hand firmer around him. He lets go of my finger, bringing his lips to mine in urgency.
“Calla,” he whispers.
The desperation powers through his voice to use his hands, to touch me everywhere. It’s taking him everything he has not to. I continue to run my hands over him, kissing his jaw, his neck—driving him insane. His hands fly up to me, and I swat them away.
“Fuck,” he swears, getting irritated.
I sit up, drawing him up with me, straddling him. I finally place his hands on my waist, and his mouth twists into a sinful grin.
In that small timeframe before his touch has the power to rupture me, every single nerve in my body is electrified. It’s as though I’m waiting for the inevitable, but each time it ends up being more than I envision. The anticipation of us being together in a way that is more than words, connecting on a different level, in an entirely intimate way, is exhilarating to say the least.
Ace’s hand voyages up my shirt, leaving my skin flushed wherever he touches me. The way my body responds to him, immediately and with immoral passion, compels me to believe he’s the only one who deserves it—the only one who is worthy of it.
He takes my shirt off and pauses. His eyes rake over my body, taking all of me in. I hold my breath, allowing him to do so.
Ace runs his tongue over his lips, and my heart pounds in my chest. My mind is in complete denial. It’s not difficult to figure out that what I feel for Ace is more than I’ve ever planned to, more than I’ve ever felt for anybody before.
I tug at the waistband of his pants, letting him know that I want him right now. “Off.”
He raises an eyebrow and chuckles. “Bossy, are we?”
“Learnt from the best,” I retort, and he laughs, the sound low and seamless.
Everything about him is so damn faultless, and I’m falling too deep. Or have I already fallen? I can’t tell. Too many lines have become blurred, and the only thing left is the veil of admittance.
Ace ignores my demand and kisses my neck, gently sucking. It feels too satisfying for me to even worry that it may leave marks. And being marked by Ace won’t be so bad, will it?
His hands caress my body, tugging me closer to him like he wants to eliminate anything and everything standing between us.
“Do you know what you do to me?”
Ace takes my hand and places his lips against the inside of my palm before placing my hand around his neck. I shake my head slowly; my arms are around his neck, my fingers in his tousled hair.
“You drive me fucking insane,” he tells me, his eyes on mine. “I want you.” He grabs my hips, and his fingers dig into my skin. I can’t breathe. “Nothing else. Just you.”
“Mmm,” I moan, trying to pull his mouth back to mine.
He doesn’t let me. Instead, he places his hands on either side of my face. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I want you to know that. Do you understand?”
This forces me to pause. Ace has a way with words; they pierce straight into my heart, but I don’t want to be let down. I’m cautious about depending on anyone.
“Calla, answer me,” he says, his eyes not leaving mine. Ace hasn’t let me down. I trust him with everything I have, and perhaps, it’s foolish for me to do so.
“Yes.” I understand, and I trust you. Please don’t make me regret it.
“Good,” he says. Then his mouth is back on mine, more persistent than ever before.
Amid all the kissing, we manage to get each other’s clothes off. I run my hand down his bare chest. His beautiful light brown skin is my undoing. His body feels exceedingly familiar, like it’s been mine all along. Ace gets a condom from his bedside table and rips the wrapper with his teeth.
I sense everything, this colossal magnetic field between us. Electricity. Power. Fervency. He’s the only one who’s ever made me feel like this, the only one who makes me feel like he’s breathing fire into me. Lighting me alive. Can he feel this too, or is it one-sided?
His arm wraps around my back, and his hand is tangled in my hair. His other hand moves down my cheekbone, skimming my lips, and that’s when the kissing begins again.
